I just wondered if anyone is going through breast cancer or has gone through it whilst being on there own as in like myself I live alone with just my dog?
This is when I wish I wasn’t single xx
Hi Brodiesmum, I don’t live on my own, there’s me and my partner, but just wanted to say if you ever wanted to talk to someone, I’m here xx
Hi Brodiesmum yes I live alone.I have breast and suspected kidney cancer too and was diagnosed end of June.I’m 56 and have two wonderful daughters who live close by who are being a tower of strength.There are times when I’m lying in bed alone or have too much time on my hands when I think it would be nice to have someone there for practical things of course but also just for the emotional side.I’ve been on my own for 7 years and have good friends but they’re not there all the time of course.other times of I’m feeling rough I’m quite glad I can lay on the sofa and not worry how I look or that I have teas to cook and so on.get as organised as you can and prepared for days when you can’t do much.be kind to you!! Treat yourself and have things to hand to cheer you up on a low days.i’d love to chat and be a friend if you need one.you can do this
Hi Brodiesmum,
Yes I live alone. I separated from my husband a year and a half ago, and literally was in the middle of moving when I found out I had breast cancer. I also was in the middle of chemo with my Mum who was half way through treatment for bowel cancer, so it has been a very difficult time. I have just had a lumpectomy and had help in place, but they all came down with various illnesses and so I have been completely alone!
It has mostly been ok, but I did go through a stage as you say, where you wish you had someone ‘special’ in your life to care for you and well, just be there really. However, I went online and goggled something about it, and it came up with all these people going through rough times with illnesses and their partners were not acting the loving partners they hoped they would be! It made me think as the other reply you had ( sorry cannot remember the name) that at least I do not have to do anything for anyone else or worry about their feelings etc and can eat drink and sleep whenever I want. It was sad reading but it sort of put things back into perspective as we tend to look through rose tinted glasses imagining our special person will act how we want them too, where as in reality they may not ( even if they really do love us!)
I have found these boards really helpful and less alone by using them. I hope you will too. Reach out to your friends around you when you can too as it is easy to isolate yourself if feeling a bit down and afraid. Take each day at a time and gradually you will see light at the end of the tunnel. Big hugs to you. xxx
Thank you, Eileen, Treeze and loulou, your replies mean alot to me.
It is nice to know I am not alone. I’ve had some panicky moments wondering how I will be when the Chemo starts etc.
It makes sense though with what you say that sometimes you will want to be on your own if not feeling great and not having to look after anyone else but yourself.
I hope I can be there for you all too. I know it may sound daft but it really is a relief to be able to talk to others that are going through what I am and will be going through. xxx
Been thinking about you today Brodiesmum.We’re all here to help each other.don’t hesitate to get in touch…I for one am invariably awake at some time during the night xx
Hi good luck for tomorrow.Wednesday is the day I’m expecting to get my kidney biopsy results to confirm cancer there.I was told its unusual to get two unconnected cancers so they were going to see if something else is going on whatever that means.have things planned for the next day in case I need to keep myself busy.if you can’t sleep i’d sugg
Sorry…pressed send!..I’d suggest getting up rather than just laying thinking.my sleeping is all over the place but since I stopped work I try not to stress if I can’t sleep…I make a cup of tea, look at my phone…nothing upsetting or worrying! something cheerful or relaxing , listen to the radio and sleep later if and when you can.your moods change all the time…minute to minute it seems sometimes but the worse ones WILL pass.keep in touch.happy to give you my number should you ever feel like texting if you’re feeling low x
Hi Brodiesmum, good luck for tomorrow and Thursday meeting the oncologist, will be thinking you.
Treeze good luck on Wednesday with your biopsy results.
What I find frustrating I’m tired at night but when I get in bed I’m wide awake but i try to get up and get dressed every day even if I end up going back to bed again. If you ever fancy a chat anytime I’m here xx
Hey good luck tomorrow and Thursday. Fingers crossed all goes well .xxx
Hi Treeze, Eileen and Loulou,
I actually slept last night, got about 5 hours, rather surprised!
thank you for wishes.
Good Luck Treeze for tomorrow xxx
Thank you.glad you slept…you’ll feel so much more able to cope.I had a good night too…went early and only woke once at 2.30…my usual sweaty mess :)and then slept till 7.30
Hi Brodiesmum and Treeze glad you both managed to get some sleep last night.
i’ve got my operation tomorrow so,don’t think I’ll be sleeping tonight, but I will be thinking about you both and here if you ever need a chat.
Eileen
xx
Thinking of you xx
Hi Brodiesmum
I just wanted to say ‘Hi’, I’m sorry that you, all of us find ourselves on this forum but I’m so pleased I found it as everyone is so lovely and supportive, and awake in the night!! It must be really hard living alone and dealing with this blow.
Sending you hugs and wishing you a good evening and some restful sleep ??
Eileen and Treeze,
thinking of you both today and sending you big hugs xxx
Thank you x don’t know what to expect, maybe they don’t even have results yet! We’ll soon see x
Hi Brodiesmum thank you. I’m back home. I think the operation went ok, just got to wait for the appt for the results in two weeks. I think the waiting is the worst part. Will be thinking about you tomorrow for your meeting with your oncologist.
Treeze hope they’re not making you wait longer for your results.
Sending you both hugs xxx
Hi everyone.saw my consultant today…lucky I had my daughter with me to take everything in as I’m brain dead…and she confirmed kidney cancer.I have an appt this Friday with urology consultant who will tell me more about it and next week have appt with breast consultant and an ultrascan for kidney.theyre looking at op week of Oct 31st hopefully and then depending on whether they find any remnants left in breast will do more chemo or not…of course I hope not! Then three weeks of radiotherapy Mon-Fri (!) we might see about staying in a b and not something as it’s hour and a half away and I don’t have anyone who can take me there for that long.anyway that’s not yet.so…at the moment I’m ok with everything.we’ll see what tomorrow brings.x
Hi Treeze
I’m sorry to hear you have been dealt a double whammy … what a terrible blow … I can’t begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now.
When you are ready ask about hospital transport, it is provided for those you can’t get to an from hospital and I remember from past experiences having quite a giggle with fellow transport patients as I journeyed to and from hospital.
Sending you big hugs xxxx