Thanks all and everyone for your advice.
Kinsse, I also have an 18yr old lad, who has always been 'difficult', he is living with his dad, since I have been told about the cancer he won't speak to me. Or amswer my texts. I am just leaving him at the moment, but am here if he wants to talk. I have told him that.
I have had a difficult weekend and have not wanted to see or speak to people. Tomorrow I have to go for an MRI.
The waiting for the chemo to start is horrid, I feel so tired and I haven't even started treatment yet.
I think a good friend may drop by later, but don't really want to see her. 😞
My daughter is 10 I was very honest with her from the beginning explaining the hair loss and that it would grow back slowly mine feel out on Christmas Eve I don't wear anything in the house but she did ask that I wear a wig or scarf when I went out which I have done. I involved her in choosing the wig and scales realise it is harder with boys
I started chemo last July and told my sons (14 and 16) that I was going to lose my hair. I told them on the day I was going to have it shaved off and that I would start wearing scarves and wigs and then appeared in them, I would not have let them see me having my hair shaved off, I found it hard and I would not have expected them to see it after, unless they asked to.
I chose not to ask waht they thought, although my mum did ask my older son and he said he didn't like me going out with them in a scarf. I then mentioned to them about a month ago that my hair was growing back and that soon I would get it coloured. The response was a typical teenagers, just a grunt.
I stopped wearing scarves indoors about 2 weeks ago and just appeared like taht, didn't tell them and didn't ask them anything and today is my first day of going to work without a wig!! (I work in a primary school so am dreading the questions and looks).
My boys are very quiet and shy and I told them what they needed to know, but didn't want to scare them. In fact it's the older one who seems to have been more affected by it all
My children are all grown-up and could probably cope with my bald head if I showed it. However, my husband has never seen me without a wig or hat since I lost my hair in late December. We spend most of the day together and sleep in the same bed. There's no need for your boy to see you without hair if he will find it traumatic. There are plenty of head coverings available and I find my wig so comfortable it stays put from morning until late evening.
I hope you can find a solution that is comfortable for you and your son.
Losing my hair was the single most shocking part of this journey but you do learn to cope in a way that suits you and your family.
its as hard for you to get to grips with hair loss as it will be for him. I made the decision to cut my hair short and then shave it off even before I started treatment. I imagined that it would be my normal hair I was getting rid of but it wasnt. By the time I cut it off the hair was really dry and lifeless it looked really dull and bad. May be you could try to explain this to him. Also, I tried to make a joke of it with my kids and this helped them to see that I was coming to terms with it. Dont forget a good cry does everyone good!!!
best wishes Shelly
It must be really hard for him to accept the changes that are going to happen to his mum. Its great that you are being open and honest about what is happening, I think that is really important. I am sure you must have told him that it is only a temporary side effect and that your hair will grow back. You can only try to be as positive as you can be, and continue to involve him whenever you can. He will accept that this is going to happen and I am sure he will adapt to the situation. Its not goig to change his mum, just how she looks for a while, and its necessary so that you can get better.
I spoke to my 14yr old boy about loosing my hair when I start the chemo.
I am finding it so hard to be upbeat and positive. He doesn't want to be around when I cut it short as I have been advised to do.
I am worried he is going to be scared by my new appearence. What can I do to help him?
It's just to awful, I can't bear the tears from him. It makes me want to cry too.