Hi - I think im just being a bit super sensitive but…
Ive just come back from the safari park with my son - we had a lovely day even in the rain - but they have Halloween stuff everywhere. Mostly grave stones with ghosts and skeletons climbing out etc. I just felt uncomfortable with this as an image - making graves and grave yards scary places!! I know they are no place for a picnic - but is this really necessary? Anyway, it led to a good discussion between us about it and that Grave yards are not scary places - he knows this because we visit his twin brothers grave / memorial often. But just wondered what others thought??
I think the whole Halloween thing has been taken over by Hollywood! We always lock out gate and turn off the lights and actually, I’m not usually a grump but I hate the whole Halloween thing with kids turning up with buckets expecting stuff for nothing. (In my day we had to do something for stuff - sing, dance etc)
With you on the super sensitive thing though. Last week when I was in hospital, they came around the ward (oncology) with a drinks trolley heaving with booze. This really upset me because it felt like the message being sent out was “Poor you, you’re going to die so you might as well just have a bit of what you fancy”. Felt like they were giving up on me though my husband thought I was being over sensitive.
Hope the Halloween stuff didn’t impact on your lovely day out.
Hi Laurie - We still had a v v v lovely time, but just got me thinking it is NOT NEEDED!! I think we are allowed to be super sensitive at times!! Ive never heard of a booze trolley in hospital -stunning!!!
Hi Sadie- I don;t think you are being super-sensitive at all.
The whole Hallowe’en thing is just got completely out of hand: even our local building society and optician have decorated their windows with this rubbish. People I speak to (all ages) seems to agree with me but obviously we are in the minority.
My own grandchildren are just having a little party with friends, with home-made outfits and lanterns -d playing scary games etc etc. It’s the really nasty costumes and the trick’n’treat aspect that is the pernicious part - and really frightening for many older people (and probably some young ones as well!)
From what I’ve seen in our local shops it seems that those who can least afford it are the people who are spending the most on all the tatty merchandise. How can they be so gullible about something that has now become so nasty ?
Hi Sadie
I agree, the whole Halloween thing has escalated out of hand
into rife commercialism. I suppose it probably makes it less scary for kids, but no sensitivity towards those who have lost loved ones.
Glad you had a good day though. xxx
Another who agrees with you Sadie. I don’t like that safari park’s idea of fun. We do the pumpkin lanterns but that’s it. For me it’s more a marking of Autumn, along with collecting conkers, leaves and pine cones. Talking of picnics in grave yards when my cousin died in his very early 20’s my Aunt and Uncle used to spend many sunny lunchtimes at his grave with their sandwiches…it helped them to be close by. I understand that feeling and vist a local cemetry often to visit my Mum’s resting place, my stillborn sister’s and others.
x
my children have done Halloween at different levels over the years, but I have always told them what it actually stands for. It should be called All hallows eve… being the day before all hallows day/all saints day, so we ward of the ‘bad/evil’ ready for the good souls to arrive. Not sure why graveyards have to be depicted in this way.
Hi ladies, this thread got me sufficiently energised to come out of lurking once more!
I’ve never been a fan of hallowe’en, though as a child did enjoy some of the more daft games we played, such as apple bobbing. But reading your thoughts as given me new insights into the negativity of so much that is now done, and the damage done to chidlren who know that people they love lie in graveyards.
Tonight my church is joining with three others for a joint serivce of ‘grieving and gratitude’ which we always hold on the Sunday closest to All Hallow’s Eve. At this we recall and remmeber those we loved/knew who have died this year, and have the opportunity to light a candle in their memory and take a spring bulb to plant in their honour. I think this is a rather beautiful and life-giving alternative, and tonight I will be remembering, among others Cat who used to post on here, and who was snatched from her husband and son just weeks ago.
You will all be in my thoughts & prayers as I help lead this serivce tonight.
Totally agree with all postings. I remember as a child the apple bobbing and joy. Not macabre rubbish. Mindless commercial and media led ruining of childhood innocent imagination.
Grumpy Old Bat moan over for today. Can now go and get carrots for the carrot cake that has haunted my dreams all the long night.
Love your ideas Rev superb. Nice to have your wisdom and wit on the Forum
Hugs to one and all…much happier now
Cackles xx
Laurie - when I worked on an Oncology ward as a student nurse we did alcoholic drinks round every evening. I asked why we did it and there was only one reason. Some people with cancer suffer a loss of appetite and alcohol was an appetite stimulant. No other reason than that!
Sadie - I can see your point of view.
I do though like Halloween and don’t think of it in terms of graves or anything like that. I live in a village and I always carve a big pumpkin and put candles in it outside my front door. Then all the little kids come round dressed up and they really do make an effort and then I give them sweets.
The year before last my neighbour’s daughter who was 11 then came round to my house and we baked biscuits and iced them in halloween designs. Then we had a teaparty with the neighbours.
When we lived near London Halloween was a different matter altogether as kids threw eggs and flour at the windows of anyone who didn’t supply treats and they didn’t bother to get dressed up.
It may sound odd but in the year I was diagnosed, carrying on with carving my pumpkin even though I was having chemo was really important to me.
Elinda: “It may sound odd but in the year I was diagnosed, carrying on with carving my pumpkin even though I was having chemo was really important to me.”
No, that doesn’t sound odd to me at all… the quest for normality, for life-giving, uplifting moments, they are surely natural and healthy? Last year I couldn’t be part of the service as I was in what I termed ‘FEC-flop mode’ and it felt unbelievably sad not to participate. I remembered people, and even lit candles in my own home; althoguh it wasn’t the same, it helped somehow.
Good to see you pop in Rev. Your service sounds lovely. A friend gave me a small box of mixed spring bulbs recently. Haven’t had the energy to pop them in yet. I’ll endeavour to do it this week.
Some churches have a “Light Party” as an alternative to Halloween.
The clocks have changed now, I’m grateful for an extra hour in bed but I’m not keen on dark evenings. I’ll light a candle when we have tea today.
“It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness…”
Have just returned from our church’s All Souls’ Day, Service of Remembrance ‘for those we love but see no more’.
It was even more well attended than usual - 90% of the people do not worship at the church but we send out personal invitations to anyone in our village who has been recently bereaved (and of course anyone else is welcome to be there.)
We have an address and hymns and prayers but what seems to mean the most to people is the reading aloud of the names of those who have died- both recently and also any other names that have been handed in. After that there is an opportunity for all who wish to light a voitive candle. My husband and I do the name reading - quite a responsibility to make sure no-one is missed or we don’t mispronounce anyone’s name.
Just before this afternoon’s service began we received a message that a young man from here had been killed in a motorbike accident - what timing and what sadness.
Thanks Revcat! Reading your post has made me decide what I’ve been hankering to do for a long time 0even before this dx- go back to church.Wish I could go to yours but it’s too far.Unlike my bible which has always been nearby.
My lovely grandaughter has agreed to come with me.I’ll let u know how I get on.
As for Halloween- I still have children living with me and they love getting dressed up and going round the neighbour’s houses. We live in a small estate and they are chaperoned and most of them are prepared to sing or say a wee poem. I’ve already made up the bags with fruit and sweets to give out.
Margaret
but I’m not keen on dark evenings. I’ll light a candle when we have tea today.