As if having had breast cancer wasn’t enough (2 years ago and am doing well)I am now becoming a hypochondriac. When I see my doctor or consultant I always ask him/her to check up on something else that I’ve discovered, they follow it up, send me for tests and it always turns out to be OK. But, while waiting for the results I worry and exhaust myself with thinking about it. I don’t seem to be able to judge any more about what I need to go to a doctor about, I’m making a fool of myself, and putting myself through trauma unnecessarily, how can I stop? Lizzylou
It is all very understandable and better safe than sorry. I report everything unusual.
Hi
I think what you are feeling is v normal. It’s something I talk to my psych about a lot. I found a lump on my tumour site last week. Got the wheels turning to see gp, BCN, radiologist, loads of stress and anxiety. The radiologist scanned me for a long time and said rads damage and scar tissue. No need for a biopsy. I want to accept that if he thought there was any need at all, with my history, to do a biopsy he would have. I even got a follow up with my consultant, who felt the lump checked the results and said, yep scar tissue. I can’t keep asking for tests to prove something they can never prove, which is the cancer has gone and every time I have a symptom it is not cancer.
I know we have to vigilant, but I also know I have to regain some trust in my body and learn where to draw the line. I was recommended the book ‘the cancer survivors companion’ it likens cancer to a storm, which I prefer to a roller coaster and so far ( I have read the first two chapters) it has been really helpful.
I have no answers, but I am there with you.
Debx
Thanks Hatty and Midge. Midge, I’ve wondered whether I should seek professional help and perhaps I should but I also like the sound of your book which I will look up on Amazon, thank you for that. I think you are right we need to trust our bodies again, but also need to trust the experts as after all they really are experts.
Hatty do you find that you are reporting a lot of things? And how do you cope, do you make yourself worried or do you take a more positive view? Lizzylou
Hi Lizzielou, I just wanted to say that 2 years is early days for feeling safe and trusting your body and your judgment, and please don’t be beating yourself up about how you are feeling.
I was first dx 14 years ago and it took about 3 years for me (and my mum, who was still alive then) to accept that I could get tension headaches or a flu bug and not everything was cancer related. I got there in the end and to a sensible level where I took new symptoms I’d had over 2 weeks to the GP. I found my own second lump after 12 years and got treated quickly, so I guess I had learned to be balanced about it all.
2 years from second dx, I’m back to where you are, but I know it’ll balance out over time. Like Deb I talked to the psych about it a lot. The book I have come to love over the years is Dr Susan Love’s Breast Book - sounds cranky but its excellent if you want to learn about bc - and for me thats my armour - knowledge is power!
I hope you’re soon able to trust your body and your judgment but if you are struggling you can get a referral through your GP or BCN for some psych support - which is very helpful.
Good luck - let us know how you’re doing - be thinking of you
xxx
Hi Daisyleaf, thanks for those helpful words, will also have a look at that book, and perhaps talk to my breast care nurse about getting extra help. Your 2-week rule sounds good, though sometimes 2 weeks can seem like a long time. Best of luck to you too. Lizzylou
I completely understand what you mean. I’m 18 months on from finishing treatment and worry a lot. I know if I make enough fuss I’ll be referred to someone or given a scan but that’s very stressful too.
Luckily I get on very well with my surgeon and the time before last when I saw him he gave me a firm ‘talking to’ in the nicest way. He said I need to put this behind me and move on with my life. I think he’s realised I’m bit of a control freak and he asked me to let go a bit. I still tell him my concerns/worries of course but I put more trust in him. He has always been more than thorough and gave me a correct diagnosis when I’d previously been another surgeon who didn’t.
It does sometimes feel like a constant weigh up, though I reached the point of feeling exhausted by all the anxiety and thought that was no way to live.
I hope you find a way to manage all this. I wish there was a magic answer! Elinda x