Help!Thinking I’m weird!
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Help!Thinking I’m weird! Im beginning to think that I am weird. I have put a posting on the reconstruction section - but want to know what other ‘gene’ carriers think.
I have been diagnosed with BRCA 1 - and at the moment trying to get my head round reconstruction. There seems sooooo many types its untrue - but I am getting there.
I just want to be medically better than I am now - and it seems to me the whole reconstruction thing is such a gamble. I don’t want to go from being ‘healthy’ (if carrying the gene is classed as healthy) to having to deal with implant problems or replacements, back trouble and pain or scars all over. I want my breasts gone - but dont want to sign up to all these other gambles. Am I strange for considering no reconstruction? Am I underestimating how horrible it will be without breasts?
Because I’m so shallow I keep looking at my Trinny and Suzannah What not to wear book - and looking through all the flat chested sections - and keep thinking I could possibly do that. But am I in denial?
I would really appreciate any other women’s opinions - or thoughts from women that have not had recon.
Confused,
Orienne
Not weird ! Hi Orienne,
I carry BRAC2, found out almost 2 weeks ago.
I knoew before I got my result that if it wre positive I wanted surgery.
I definately want reconstruction though. I think I would find it worse to be without breasts.
My reasons are possibly quite vain, I am 32 and single, (still looking for my prince !) my breasts are quite large for my frame (34e) and pretty good even if I do say so myself, so think I would be lost without anything. Though I think I may opt for a more modest D cup. (I did almost get them reduced when I was 23, but my boyfriend at the time talked me out of it, I did grow to like them though as I got older and my body confidence grew !
I have no idea which type of surgery I will go for, got my appt with plastic surgeon 26th Sept, so i guess I will know more then. I think I may opt for implants if possible, I don’t think diep or liposuction is available in my area, I am going to ask though, could do with a bit of lipo !
That is my opinion though and your thoughts and reaons may be different. Have you seen a surgeon ?
angelarob1, I know has had mastectomys without recon, she may be able to help you.
Have you looked on the other website ? You can private message on there too which might help you. Feel free to drop me a line if you want to rant !
Anyway, hope this helps, take care, chin up and remember how lucky you are to have a choice (I know it doesn’t always seem like that, I am trying to be positive !)
Lisa xx
For Lisa1974 Thanks for your opinion- its good to hear other women’s views.
We are quite similar as I am 34D so not far behind you. Although I really like my breasts too - I know they are not going to look the same what ever I do - my consultant has recommended not keeping my nipple cos of the risk of breast cancer - tell me what your consultant says and we could compare notes.
I’m sorry to hear you are positive. You sound as if you are staying positive though. I think my mistake was that although I was ok with getting my results I had never thought about having my breasts removed. Always thought I would just be screened - but now I am positive I feeldifferently - like I can’t take the chance. So all this surgery stuff is just a bit mind blowing.
How would I contact angelarob1? Is she on this forum? Im new to all of this so am a little rubbish at working it all out. So glad I have found the site though - and wished I had found it years ago - nevermind.
Hope you appt goes well with the consultant - and you must ask if other options are open to you - I live in Huddersfield but am receiving my treatment in Nottingham - so you may get referred elsewhere if you wanted more options.
Thanks for replying and I hope all goes well with your surgeon.
Orienne
Hello Orienne I am probably much older than you: I was 55 when I had a mastectomy. Also I don’t as far as I know have the BRCA gene.
But I just wanted you to know that I didn’t have a reconstruction and also never considered one…for many reasons but not least because I didn’t want more surgery. Some women are very pleased with the results of reconstruction; others are disappointed, and some have pain and discomfort.
We live in a very breast centred culture and being flat chested is not often considered as an OK option…which it should and can be. I think women can look good with flat chests and with breasts of all sizes…what I hate is the focus on a particular kind of big breasted, cleavaged look as the kind of breast to be desired.
I just had a single mastectomy and now usually wear a prosthesis so I’m not lopsided and this suits me fine.
I realise that my expereince is probably completely different from yours, but just wanted to confirm that no you are not in the least weird considering mastectomy without reconstruction. Mastectomy on its own is a relatively simple (and not particularly painful) operation.
Take your time over your decision.
very best wishes
Jane
For Jane Thanks Jane,
I really agree with you - I sometimes feel they offer recon as it is expected this is what women want - which is why I think after speaking to my breast care nurse I feel weird - cos Im made to feel weird.
Im glad it all worked out for you - and that you are happy with your surgery - I read so many stories on here where things have gone wrong and it seems such a gamble. One that I don’t want to take.
You are right I need to take time to decide - and although I want to get rid of the ticking time bomb - I need to make the right decision too.
Speaking to all of you on here really helps - so thank you for all the replies
Orienne
For Orienne Hi there
I think angela is on this forum, maybe she is just on the other. You have some opinions of other people though already so hope that helps you. Remember that everyone is different though. Make sure you take the time to make your own decisions for your own reasons and don’t rush into anything you aren’t ready for. The sooner the better for me I just want it all over with so I can get on with my life. I feel like I can’t until this is all over.
If you look at my previous message to you there is another web address, if you go on there and register there is a family history part to it and the added bonus is you can send private messages and emails to people if you wish, angelarob is definately on there, she sprung to my mind because she is SO positive about things. Her reason perhaps was different as she has a blood disorder.
I will let you know how I get on with the surgeon, I am currently compliling a lengthy list of questions ! I might be in there for some time ! Did you see the programme “My Breasts or My Life” ? I know some ladies didn’t like it but I thought it was great. My surgeon did her surgery so it was kind of weird that all my “people” were on the programme.
Anyway take care and speak soon.
Lisa xx
Thanks Lisa Thank you Lisa,
I did see the programme - it must be weird seeing your people on there though!!!
I think the programme raised alot of issues for me and kicked me up the proverbial to do something - had been head in sand before I watched that - so that were my reasons for liking it.
Thanks for advice on other web page - will post angela there too.
I know what you mean about being all over - I just sometimes think it never will be. Once I have over come the hurdle of the breast op - its then the ovaries - if I can squeeze having children in beforehand!!! My life seems ruled by it - and sometimes I resent that - but I aso see I have choices to try and save myself from this - so I try and remember not to be so bitter.
Keep writing those questions - I went in for my first appt and was so blown away with what he told me I don’t think I asked much - hopefully seeing him soon to discuss it further - and like you I will take a list!!!lol!!!
Good luck on 26th and keep me posted on how you get on,
Orienne
Hi Orienne
Thought I’d say hello - I’ve seen your post on the reconstruction forum also. I have recently been diagnosed with the BRCA1 gene mutation, I have the same geneticist and surgeon as Lisa (my appointment with the surgeon is 24th Oct) and have very large breasts for my frame - at their biggest they are 36G (as I’ve had a tummy tuck previously, if I put on the slightest pound of weight, they go straight to my breasts!). So we are all quite similar really!
I don’t think you’re weird at all for considering not to have a reconstruction - in some ways I wish I could consider not having one, as it would perhaps be less stressful once the decision was made. It’s so confusing trying to make sense of what type of recon to have. Like you, Lisa - I’ve made a long list of questions for the surgeon - currently on 23 and still growing!
Angela will definitely be able to help you (on the other site) - she’s lovely and will be happy to talk to you I’m sure. She pointed me in the direction of a free magazine which discusses all types of b/c issues - it’s really helpful - www.amoena.co.uk. If you register, as Lisa has suggested - one of my recent posts with Angela is discussing this very issue.
Take care.
Bev.
xx