Mel, so you had a good cry, well done you, I bet it made you feel better, only strong people cry, its' the weak amongst us that can't demomstrate emotions (OMG Sylv what a load of physcobubble that was lol) You have probably been here http://www.bras4all.co.uk/mastectomy-bras-and-pocketed-bras-for-post-surgery/cat_2.html
I think Laura mentioned it but why not have some made. You have 3 as a pattern. Maybe you could search for local seamstress services, you may even find someone who specialises in this.
I'll keep looking for you and let you know if I find somewhere else.
xxxx chin up xxx
Belinda, that's wonderful news.............. DITTO what Mel said and have a very large drink to celebrate,
Belinda. We are with you today in spirit and we will be thinking of you. As Mel said please let us know how you get on, when you are able to xx.
Mel. Sorry yesterday was a bad day. As Belinda said, you are always there as a huge support for everyone. You are so inspirational. If theres anything I can do, Please lets me know. xx I hope today is better.
I am surprised the internet can't help you with your bra situation. You'd think with all of us being all shapes and sizes, there would be a bra shop somewhere.
I will be back later to see how everybody is as I've now got to take the dog out in the mud lol.
Mel have you thought of getting your boob professionally measured to make sure you are the correct size bra. I know this sounds obvious but sometimes if we wear the wrong sized bra it can really make things uncomfortable. I know the Breast cancer support group in this area provides that service. I will contact them tomorrow and ask them if theres a service in Cov. I know you've said that you are a fuller cup but they all cater for the same service. I have been told by my plastic surgeon that my boobs are saggy and small. I said you really know how to kick a man when he's down don't you. We both laughed. My hubby now calls them listed buildings as they are so saggy. Not a nice thought lol. I thought I was a 38c for ages, but I'm going to bravissimo on Saturday with a friend so I can get my size checked and also look at the 38E cups, which the plastic surgeon has recommended for me as he said it would suit my size and also I have alot of skin. So if I go smaller there will be more scarring when they do the mastectomy and reconstruction. Anyway, its just a thought. Also if you go through a breast cancer support group, they will know more stockists, so you'll have more choice.
Don't be hard on yourself. You've had a big operation. When I went to see my friend last weekend she showed me her prothesis and I was surprised how heavy they are. She has opted not to have reconstruction on the breast she had removed. She didn't want to go ahead with anymore reconstruction. Which was her choice. She had her mastectomy about seven years ago, I think. But I suppose a breast is quite a heavy thing if you hold it in your hands. Its just your body gets used to carrying them around.
Yes I still have a nagging feeling about the results, but I am going to wait until July and obviously if anything changes I will be there like a shot. Also I will be sending the letter tomorrow. I couldn't email it because there wasn't an email facility on the trust complaints department. So I'm sending it direct to the Chief Exec, private and confidential, by special post tomorrow.
Belinda and Sylviah big cyber hugs sent your way.
Mel again thankyou so much for the letter. You're a star. I hope you enjoy your little house design venture lol. I will be scanning ebay, for some bargains straight away. Actually I love ebay and I always get books and stuff off there.
Belinda I hope you've had a better day and its been completely 'google free'. I should do some ironing but I can't be bothered lol.
Sylviah I hope mums birthday was fab and she had a wonderful time. I hope you are all a little tiddly lol.
My letter finally arrived today. It said the calcifications appear benign and they are not going to do anymore at this stage. I've got to go back and see the consultant 1st July. Also I've got to have my annual mammogram next year. Hopefully I'll have my preventative masectomy and reconstruction done by then. But I am grateful that at the moment things seem positive. After all this I am definitely enjoying each day and not leaving stuff until tomorrow, unless of course its housework lol. I still have concerns about the area, because of my family history. But I will wait until 1st July. Obviously, if I feel any lumps or changes I will be there like a shot.
I hope you all have nice things planned, although I think I will still be on the tablets for a few days yet.
Big hugs lovelies
Belinda I reiterate everything that Mel and Sylviah have said. STOP GOOGLING (did I shout it load enough lol). As you are probably aware I suffer with mental illness as well as this and I have always had an unhealthy over hypochondria with any illness I've had. I had indigestion once and was convinced that it was something sinister. At one point my hubby threatened to lock me off the internet as it was making me seriously ill. My psychiatrist and nurses have told me to stay off the site, with the exception of those recommended like this one. The stuff on the web is meant to shock and is not there for us laypeople to make assessments with. Anything credible is to be used by the medical profession only. My hubby and psychiatrist has said to me it is not cancer that worries them about me, its the cancer in my mind. When things like this happen, whole whirlwinds of thoughts 99% negative come crashing in and attack our minds. I personally think its these thoughts that are the biggest threats to our wellbeing. But all they are are thoughts, nothing more and we have to remember that we can take control of them. Please don't google, try talking to someone either one of the ladies on the phoneline here or try finding a local support group. I went to a wonderful breast cancer support group by me. I walked in explained that I didn't feel 'qualified' to attend as I was waiting results and burst into tears. They were lovely and explained no qualification was necessary and they were there to support. I came out feeling much better.
Today promise me no internet searching and plenty of TLC for yourself. You've got the day off today, do something fab, like visiting friends, buying yourself something lovely or go for a walk, I know it sounds like a cliche, but getting out the house does help, even if its the hardest thing to do. Big love.
Sylviah sorry you had a bad night. Like I said to Belinda, bloody thoughts are like a little gremlin and he is usually worse at night, when our minds are overtired and quieter. So far you've sounded so positive, but obviously there are days when you will feel low. Again have you thought about joining a support group, where you can chat to ladies who have been in a similar situation? It may help a little. I hope today is better for you.
Mel how are you sweetie? I hope you're feeling a bit better today as you weren't feeling yourself? Whats your plans today for your day off, anything nice?
Big hugs ladies
Lots of love
Belinda, stop googling please, we all do it and it doesn't really help. Aches and pains, unfortunately as we all get older these set in for no reason, have you got the "grunt" yet as you sit down or stand up? One day you sit down and you realise you've been making this little grunt noise. You even look around to see if somene has heard.....lol.It's like starting to wear beige coloured cardigans and say "in the good old days", you promise yourself you won't, but you do!!!! lol
Hope you slept well all you lovely people
Had a minor beakdown and crash last evening, me not the car, but woken up ok ..ish this morning. How easy it is to think the wrong way and how hard to keep positive and motivated.....ah well, loads more work and Mums b'day today, so onwards and upwards.
Syviah I hope you're mom has a wonderful birthday and I'm glad she's feeling better. You made me smile when you mentioned asking for a cancellation. Thats exactly what I would have done.
Mel Don't worry about the letter, you've got enough to think about, without worrying about that. I'm glad your daughter didn't need biopsies and that they are fibrodaemas. I bet you wished you never stepped foot into the opticians lol. Thats alot of money. But glasses are expensive aren't they? I'm still waiting for my letter which should come tomorrow. I keep getting my days mixed up, I was sure today was Wednesday. I think the increase in anti-depressants is starting to taking effect. I'll be zombied by Friday.
Belinda I'm glad today was a bit easier. You can come and clean my kitchen if you want to lol. Seriously, remember just keep taking it moment by moment. Find something nice to do this evening. We are here for you. There are loads of brilliant ladies on this forum, who really know their stuff and are true anagels.
I'm off to do a bit more knitting and then another early night, as I think I've got a blinking cold coming.
Thanks Laura. Thankfully Mum's bug was only a 24 hour thing, so she is up and about again, looking forward to her 83rd b'day tomorrow.
I haven't been on here as much as the waiting period, but haven't deserted. The result has now sunk in properly and I really think I was in a bit of denial last Friday and Saturday, so have sunk back to a little panic and much anger! Just waiting now for my op date which should be within 4 weeks....I felt a right idiot yesterday when I asked the nurse could I have a cancellation appt if one came about.....very nicely she smiled and said in over 30 years of doing this my dear there has only ever been one cancellation and we sent her home on the day of the op because she had flu....guess I just didn't think that one through really, yeah right, like anyone is going to cancel an op for this sort of thing....lol. Hope you are holding up ok Laura and Mel, let us know how Ashleigh got on. Perhaps you will dancing together this evening behind the closed curtains.....lol.
Take care all and speak soon
Belinda I'm so sorry yesterday was a bad one. I was crying all over the place. I remember when I went for my MRI on my breasts and I was sobbing all the way through lol. (I had to put my head face down in a hole and my boobs were in cups, not a pleasent site lol) The past few weeks I have also spent breaking down in tears at the slightest thing. Also I've been so bloody angry, mostly at the system, more than anything. But all these feelings are really natural. A friend of mine who is wonderfully excentric told me to buy some eggs go in the woods and throw the eggs at some trees lol, or punch the pillow. I didn't do the egg thing as I would probably get an unfortunate soul going past lol. I'm glad you had your nails done yesterday, a bit of pampering is well worth it. Another thing I did was make sure you put that make up on and make yourself feel really special. Also pop into boots and spray yourself with some lovely perfume and always believe in the power of an estee lauder lipstick lol . I could go forever when it comes to retail therapy. Seriously, Mel and Sylviahs words are always wonderful, they know what they are talking about. But remember our little motto, I know its near impossible, but just think of the here and now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but this second. Big hugs.
Syviah So sorry to hear your moms not feeling very well. Yes I do think somethings going round. I felt really dizzy last night and went to bed early. I think after all this worry I'm coming down with something probably a cold. I'm glad you're meeting with the bc team was productive and you came away feeling well informed and cared for. You should do.
Mel I'll be thinking of you today. I hope everything goes well with your daughter at the doctors. I will be back later for a chat.
Big hugs lovelies.
Hi all, Yes the stomach bug thing is here in Hampshire aswell, my poor 83 year old Mum had it yesterday (bless here, she said she hasn't moved that quickly in years...lol) So I had an appt with BC nurses today and what a great bunch of people they are. Answered everything I had to ask and really put me at ease. Looking forward to getting my op date now and getting on with it. Belinda don't limit the crying, it really does let it all out. Scream and shout if it helps, but just stay positive. (I know easy for me to say when I have got past the waiting period) but on getting the results it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Mel good news about Ashleighs appt, the sooner the better, good luck to her. Laura, chin up lovey, you are getting there.
Take care all and have a good nights sleep
Hi Mel and Belinda
Mel Sorry that you're not feeling 100%. To be honest me and hubby have been feeling a bit sicky lately. I don't know if its been stress or something foodwise. I hope you feel better soon. I have sent you a draft copy of the letter, to the email address. Sorry its so long, and I hope it doesn't send you to sleep lol. Also I'm sorry that my suggestion of dancing made your foot worse. Next time just wave your arms in the air like a maniac and do some chair dancing lol.
Belinda, how are you today? I can well understand the worry about the sick pay. I've been out of work for over a year and unfortunately my application for benefit was turned down, so we rely on hubbys salary at the moment. I thought about making a claim when all this kicked in. But because I have constantly been in limbo with no diagnosis, what could I claim any sick for? Unfortunately, the system doesn't have much sympathy for stress. I hope you've been able to keep yourself busy today. Whats your plan for tonight? I'm not good at housework, never have been. I'm too lazy and also having dogs gives me an excuse not to be tidy lol.
I spoke to my consultants secretary who read out the letter they've sent me in the post. It explains that they are not going to do anymore tests as they feel the area is benign. However, the consultant wants to see me in 6 months and recommends that I have my mammogram next year. Strangely, although I feel I should be happy. Something wonders why they want to see me in 6 months. Is it as part of the procedure for my preventative masectomy or is it concerning the area. So although hubby says we should be relieved I'm still a bit dubious. But I won't process anything further until the letter comes which will probably be Wednesday. A letter of complaint is definitely being done either way.
Off to have a bit of dinner. Hopefully I'll be back later.
Big hugs lovelies
Sylviah, hope your husband didn't get to watch match of day and you had a very productive, fun evening lol. Also I hope you went for the pinot instead of the coke. I like the idea if full makeup. I'm usually wellies and jeans for dog walking, kind of girl. But lately I've made a bit more effort., wearing make up, putting earrings in and even putting perfume on before going to bed. I think its very true not to save clothes, makeup and stuff for special occassions. But to wear as and when. So today after church, its red lipstick day lol.
Mel, hope you're feeling better. To be honest I felt a bit dizzy and nauseaous last night, might be some viral thingy or something. Feel bit brighter this morning. Have a restful day.
Speak to you later.
What a shame.... there are loads of stomach bugs around at the moment, so maybe its just that. Hope you feel loads better tomorrow, but if not, put your feet up, sit back and let your family wait on you. Wouldn't it be great if we could send cyber housework fairies, ironing fairies and cooking fairies to each other....lol. Can't moan though as my hubbie is ex military and expert at all of the above (when I let him be).
Just making my mind up whether to have another diet coke or a couple of glasses of pinot. Also feeling devilish and wondering if I can take hubbies mind off Match of the Day....oo'er missus, that's very naughy of me. lol xxxxxx
Not putting too fine a point on this, I might have a go with this .......Mel you are not alone with this my love lol xxx
Thanks Laura xxx
Laura, yes I am more positive now, but having a "wonder why me" day, so keeping busy and not dwelling too much on it. I don't usually wear full make up, but the whole lot of war paint went on today (lol) and I went out with a big smile on my face, smiling and saying hello to anyone and everyone (something not normally done in standoffish, snobby Hampshire) but it made me feel good. Also watched Simon Weston on the news this morning (the Falkland veteran with those terrible burns) My word that guy is inspirational and so humble. How the hell he got through all that happened to him, I don't know, and I am worried about a pea sized lodger, who will be evicted soon and some treatment that isn't going to last forever. He has to live with his disfigurements for the rest of his life. Think my bicardi idea will work with my marathon running friend...lol
Mel..... don't worry about your weight, you will lose it when you want to, as Laura said not a good idea to put a strict regime on yourself at the moment. The main thing is to be happy within yourself! One thing that has played on my mind for the last 10 days is about my weight and "unhealthy" lifestyle prior to 3 years ago. I decided to clean my act up and stopped drinking everyday (not heavily) but limited it to a couple of brandies a week. I also put myself on a strict low carb diet, 6 days a week,no potatoes, no pasta, no rice, no bread, no crisps, Lunch has been a couple of crackerbreads with salad, and dinner, fish with veg stir fry. On the 7th day I could have my treat of a chinese takeaway. I lost 3 stone slowly over 6 months and have maintained that weight. Yes I look good compared to before, yes I can now wear a size 12/14, and yes the rib and waist fairy returned my ribs and waist to me, but the last 10 days have proved to me that no matter how healthy, fit, rich or whatever you are, it really doesn't matter in the grand scale of things. Your health and happiness is the main thing that matters. If you want to eat chocolate cake everyday, or drink pinot everyday then do so if it makes you happy. Hope you enjoyed your daughters singing, it doesn't matter if she can't string 2 notes together, at least she has tried and I bet you were the proudest parent there! x Have a good evening everyone xxx
Found you lol. Yes Replens is the stuff for the dryness. Without being too graphic, its a cream which isn't hormonal, which helps with lubrication. If you do a search on amazon, theres lots of positive reviews and the doctor should give you some as its not hormonal. Similar to KY.
Menopause symptoms are my speciality lol. My boobs have never had much sensitivety anyway. So when I have my masectomy, no loss there as there wasn't much anyway lol. My friend whos had the masectomy and double reconstruction from the tummy area, says shes got no sensation as yet. Shes had her nipples reconstructed and she's having her tattoos on her nipples done in March. Also she is waiting for a hysterectomy as she has the BACC2 gene. Her mom had breast cancer, also her aunt and grandmother.
I'm sure there are places where you can get swimming costumes for your size. When I go to the support group I will ask the ladies there, as they supply wigs, bras etc. They probably know somewhere that does them. I will message your the name of their website, its very good, also you can like them on facebook.
As for the other dryness issue. Yes I get that too. Your doctor should give you Replens on prescription which is good. It does work wonders and alot of people have had alot of success with them. Also I take Menopace night vitamin tablets which are supposed to help with night flushes. But check you can take this with your other drugs and theres no contraindications.
I can really sympathise with your worries about your weight. But on the scale of things, who cares lol. A full scale weight loss regime at the moment is probably not a good idea.
I was going to suggest walking, as I truly believe going for a nice walk is one of the best things mentally and physically. Also its free. However, with your plantar problem that is not an option. A friend of mine had a double masectomy December 2012 and also had a hip replacement when she was a child loves swimming and aqua aerobics. But obviously that may not be an option for you yet. Make sure you get the go ahead from the consultant before doing anything physical. Alternatively, I know it sounds mad, but shut your curtains. Make sure no ones in or do it with the family. Pump the music up and have a dance. Certainly helps to lift your mood. Mostly however, pamper yourself, fluff yourself up and remember beauty is an attitude. I am sure if you look like you sound your one gorgeous lady. Also what about a bit of sex. You burn loads of calories with that one and it's fun lol. Also its a treat for your hubby lol.
I started exercising when I went through my early menopause at 32 and I was worried more about my bones. To be honest exercise alone does not help with weight loss. But when it comes to food I try to have a little of what I like and try and be good most of the time. Enjoy your wine, its probably helping you alot therapeutically anyway. I haven't been drinking much lately because of my medication and I find it gives me an awful hangover now. Its probably all the drinking over the years has knackered my liver lol.
Anyway, love yourself, pamper yourself and through the bloody scales away. I only got on them this morning as I was scared about the stress on my weight. Also I was having those bloody awful thoughts about 'could this weight loss be something ominous'. Also hope your daughter has a good time in the choir.
Lots of love
Mel thanks again for your wonderful words. You keep me going. If nothing else the suns shining lol.
Sylviah you sound alot more positive since you know what you're dealing with. Although, its a journey of ups and downs, you sound like you've definitely got a winners attitude. Also I have a couple of knee straps I could borrow you. Alternatively, I may have an awful hospital shoe thing they gave me when I had my toe operated on.
Weighed myself this morning and I never thought I would say it, but I was pleased that the weight is going back up. I wanted to lose a bit of weight, but definitely not this way. So no more chocolate cake for me, everyday. Just on Saturdays. Oh todays Saturday, wheres the cake lol. Hubby was pleased when I told him the weight has stopped going down, as he was worried about my mental well being. In a way weekends are a bit better for me, as there are no bloody phone calls to worry about and the hospital admin tends to be shut lol. So they can't mess me about.
By the way I have been told I look like Sharon off birds of a feather (before she lost weight lol).
Laura you are probably in bed by now, have a good rest up and tomorrow is another day. You were NOT moaning, you certainly are entitled to a closure to this and a damned good explanation of what has gone on and an apology. so the lady you spoke to doesn't work after Wednesdays? So what, that is no excuse or reason at all. I am really angry on your behalf. You do exercise? Good for you, I am now trying to find a way out of this marathon I promised my friend I would do when I am better......so if anyone knows of anyone with a broken ankle, about to have the plaster cast taken off (size 6) please ask them to send it to me........lol