Here we go again! Need someone to talk sense to me.

[sylviah]

Mel, so you had a good cry, well done you, I bet it made you feel better, only strong people cry, its' the weak amongst us that can't demomstrate emotions (OMG Sylv what a load of physcobubble that was lol)  You have probably been here http://www.bras4all.co.uk/mastectomy-bras-and-pocketed-bras-for-post-surgery/cat_2.html

I think Laura mentioned it but why not have some made. You have 3 as a pattern. Maybe you could search for local seamstress services, you may even find someone who specialises in this.

I'll keep looking for you and let you know if I find somewhere else.

xxxx chin up xxx

[sylviah]

Belinda, that's wonderful news.............. DITTO what Mel said and have a very large drink to celebrate,

Sylvia xx

[MelMc68]

Belinda, I'm thrilled for you!!!! I knew it would be good news for you, I could just feel it!!

Now, get on with your life without this hanging over you!!

God bless, love Mel. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Belinda165]

It's good news !!!!!

Nothing found on the biopsy , explained it as normal changes in fibrous tissue my breasts have always been lumpy and difficult to examine so advice to stay vigilant and keep up self examination.

Mel, Sylvia , Laura words really can't express how grateful I am to you for supporting me through this . You are very special people and make me feel very humble.

I will dip into the forum when I can to try and help other people in the waiting room - thank you so so much girls, take care stay strong and massive hugs xxxx

[pippadog]

Hi girlies

Belinda. We are with you today in spirit and we will be thinking of you. As Mel said please let us know how you get on, when you are able to xx.

Mel. Sorry yesterday was a bad day. As Belinda said, you are always there as a huge support for everyone. You are so inspirational. If theres anything I can do, Please lets me know. xx I hope today is better.

I am surprised the internet can't help you with your bra situation. You'd think with all of us being all shapes and sizes, there would be a bra shop somewhere.

I will be back later to see how everybody is as I've now got to take the dog out in the mud lol.

Big hugs

Laura

xxx

[MelMc68]

Hey Belinda, I'll be watching and waiting. Please let us know as soon as you feel able. I am getting very positive vibes for you. I really hope I'm right!

Hey Laura, yes I've been measured. I think I have three bras, all the same, because they're the only ones available. Searched t'internet to no avail. It seems that companies think that when you have a large broadness, that your cup size goes down!! Whaaaaaaa!! I don't know many women who are big with small boobs!!

Had a big cry tonight. And now I'm peed off cos I keep hitting the wrong letters, as I need those bloody glasses!! Sorry ladies, I have my moments. 😢

[Belinda165]

Hi all

Mel sorry you're feeling down - Hope you know that you and everyone else on here gave been a tower of strength to me this week - you're really inspirational - hope that doesn't sound patronising 🙂 would have loved to meet you all in different circumstances - ideally moaning about housework over a glass of Red while discussing plans for remodelling out homes !

So 930 tomorrow is my hospital appointment for results of my biopsy - will let you know how I get on and I know you will all be thinking if me - lots of love and best wishes xxx

[pippadog]

Hi Girls

Mel have you thought of getting your boob professionally measured to make sure you are the correct size bra. I know this sounds obvious but sometimes if we wear the wrong sized bra it can really make things uncomfortable. I know the Breast cancer support group in this area provides that service. I will contact them tomorrow and ask them if theres a service in Cov. I know you've said that you are a fuller cup but they all cater for the same service. I have been told by my plastic surgeon that my boobs are saggy and small. I said you really know how to kick a man when he's down don't you. We both laughed. My hubby now calls them listed buildings as they are so saggy. Not a nice thought lol. I thought I was a 38c for ages, but I'm going to bravissimo on Saturday with a friend so I can get my size checked and also look at the 38E cups, which the plastic surgeon has recommended for me as he said it would suit my size and also I have alot of skin. So if I go smaller there will be more scarring when they do the mastectomy and reconstruction. Anyway, its just a thought. Also if you go through a breast cancer support group, they will know more stockists, so you'll have more choice.

Don't be hard on yourself. You've had a big operation. When I went to see my friend last weekend she showed me her prothesis and I was surprised how heavy they are. She has opted not to have reconstruction on the breast she had removed. She didn't want to go ahead with anymore reconstruction. Which was her choice. She had her mastectomy about seven years ago, I think. But I suppose a breast is quite a heavy thing if you hold it in your hands. Its just your body gets used to carrying them around.

Yes I still have a nagging feeling about the results, but I am going to wait until July and obviously if anything changes I will be there like a shot. Also I will be sending the letter tomorrow. I couldn't email it because there wasn't an email facility on the trust complaints department. So I'm sending it direct to the Chief Exec, private and confidential, by special post tomorrow.

Belinda and Sylviah big cyber hugs sent your way.

Love

Laura

xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Laura,

I'm glad you've finally received 'the letter' and I hope you can now relax. I still think you should send in your complaint, because your letter outlines so many mishaps in the whole system.

I really want you to be able to get on with your life without this hanging over you. I hope you're now in a position to do that; though something tells me you still have a nagging doubt? Perhaps I'm wrong... I hope I am.

Belinda,I hope you've had a good day today with a complete lack of googling!

Sylvia, I hope you enjoyed your mum's birthday with her. And as Laura said, I would like to think you consumed a few glasses of something to aide the happiness!!

Girls, I'm having my own wobble this evening... Not like me, but it's nagging me. I'm feeling really p****d off. Not so much because of the mastectomy, but more so because of the remaining boob!

Because of my size, I'm limited in the bras I can buy. This brings issues with prostheses. Today, because Jim the Builder was coming round, I wanted to be presentable, so put a bra on, with the prosthesis. Usually, I just leave the falsy in my bra, but that makes it very difficult to put the bra on, as it weighs a ton. So, last night, I took the falsy out of the bra. I thought it might be easier to put the bra on first, then insert the prosthetic boob.

What a fooking nightmare! You only really have one hand to work with, as you're trying to hold the pocket open whilst manoeuvring the bloody silicon jobby into said pocket!! I nearly cried this morning, as it all looked totally skew-whiff.

This evening, after wearing it all day, my bra was rubbing on my 'normal' side. Really badly! Its like buying shoes; you try them on, walk around in the shop for a bit, and decide they're really comfy,so you buy! This is the same! It's the 'wearing in' that's a total nightmare! My skin is raw. I'm fed up. I want my other boob off so I can have matching boobs! Even if they're not real, they would be balanced! 😢😢😢

Sorry for the moan... Feeling down. xxx

[pippadog]

Hi Girls

Mel again thankyou so much for the letter. You're a star. I hope you enjoy your little house design venture lol. I will be scanning ebay, for some bargains straight away. Actually I love ebay and I always get books and stuff off there.

Belinda I hope you've had a better day and its been completely 'google free'. I should do some ironing but I can't be bothered lol.

Sylviah I hope mums birthday was fab and she had a wonderful time. I hope you are all a little tiddly lol.

My letter finally arrived today. It said the calcifications appear benign and they are not going to do anymore at this stage. I've got to go back and see the consultant 1st July. Also I've got to have my annual  mammogram next year. Hopefully I'll have my preventative masectomy and reconstruction done by then.  But I am grateful that at the moment things seem positive. After all this I am definitely enjoying each day and not leaving stuff until tomorrow, unless of course its housework lol. I still have concerns about the area, because of my family history. But I will wait until 1st July. Obviously, if I feel any lumps or changes I will be there like a shot.

I hope you all have nice things planned, although I think I will still be on the tablets for a few days yet.

Big hugs lovelies

Laura

xx 

[MelMc68]

Good morning ladies,

I hope everyone has a better, productive day today without any gremlins getting in the way.

Belinda, I'm glad to hear you are not going to do the 'G' word anymore!!! It really is a bad idea!

Sylvia's, I hope you can really enjoy your mum's birthday today. A day to try to put your lodger to the very back of your mind and enjoy celebrating your mum's life!

Laura, I promise to look at your letter this morning before I start tidying my pit of a living room (sorry, I'm not posh enough to call it a lounge!!) I have Bob the Builder (well, Jim the Builder) coming round this afternoon to go through quotes for the work we are having done.

Funny, we moved here over seven years ago and never really put our stamp on the house. We did the important jobs; new central heating and boiler, new kitchen (which I now hate) and new bathroom (which I still love). But that's all, so I've never really fallen in love with my home.

It took breast cancer to make me decide that I want to have a home that I love to be in! So, we're refurbishing the whole house, starting upstairs and working down. And as much as there will be loads of disruption, bring it on!! We are leaving no stone unturned. Every single room (except the bathroom) being done. Also hoping to add a utility and cloakroom by converting part of the garage.

I'm also planning a huge kitchen diner conversion, if we are able to knock down the right walls and still be able to support the upstairs without it falling down!!! A mahoosive project, and very costly, but John knows how much I want it done!

I'm a bit of an eBay queen, so I buy loads from there, which can really cut back the costs. You can get bespoke, solid wood kitchens at a fraction of the price by going direct to the manufacturers. In fact, most of my 'expensive' household items come via eBay!!!

God, I don't half ramble! But, perhaps subconsciously, this is my way of coping... Planning and designing each room to keep me busy and get the home I've always wanted. And sod the cost!! There are more important things!!

I hope you each have a good day. Right, off to fire up the laptop. Then the bloody housework AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! xxx

[Belinda165]

Morning ladies

Thanks for your messages and I promise my house is now a google free zone !

Laura - our minds are truly a powerful thing aren't they , I'm in awe of people like my husband who are so rational in their thinking - I can do this in my professional life but emotionally not so smart lol .

Mel hope you have a good day maybe not quite so busy as yesterday- I broke my glasses last week - had to be the designer ones didn't it - must get myself down to specs avers

Sylvia - sorry to hear yiu had a "blip" hope you are feeling beter now and have a lovely day celebrating mums birthday , mine was 80 last year - she's having a pacemaker fitted tomorrow , I haven't told her about whats happening with me because I don't want to add to her worries - she still thinks I'm about 12 even though I'm 48 but I love her for it sure I'm exactly the same with my kids !

Anyway off to keep busy - more shopping - maybe even fit in some ironing today , have a good day take care xxx

[pippadog]

Hi all

Belinda I reiterate everything that Mel and Sylviah have said. STOP GOOGLING (did I shout it load enough lol). As you are probably aware I suffer with mental illness as well as this and I have always had an unhealthy over hypochondria with any illness I've had. I had indigestion once and was convinced that it was something sinister. At one point my hubby threatened to lock me off the internet as it was making me seriously ill. My psychiatrist and nurses have told me to stay off the site, with the exception of those recommended like this one. The stuff on the web is meant to shock and is not there for us laypeople to make assessments with. Anything credible is to be used by the medical profession only. My hubby and psychiatrist has said to me it is not cancer that worries them about me, its the cancer in my mind. When things like this happen, whole whirlwinds of thoughts 99% negative come crashing in and attack our minds. I personally think its these thoughts that are the biggest threats to our wellbeing. But all they are are thoughts, nothing more and we have to remember that we can take control of them. Please don't google, try talking to someone either one of the ladies on the phoneline here or try finding a local support group. I went to a wonderful breast cancer support group by me. I walked in explained that I didn't feel 'qualified' to attend as I was waiting results and burst into tears. They were lovely and explained no qualification was necessary and they were there to support. I came out feeling much better.

Today promise me no internet searching and plenty of TLC for yourself. You've got the day off today, do something fab, like visiting friends, buying yourself something lovely or go for a walk, I know it sounds like a cliche, but getting out the house does help, even if its the hardest thing to do. Big love.     

Sylviah sorry you had a bad night. Like I said to Belinda, bloody thoughts are like a little gremlin and he is usually worse at night, when our minds are overtired and quieter. So far you've sounded so positive, but obviously there are days when you will feel low. Again have you thought about joining a support group, where you can chat to ladies who have been in a similar situation? It may help a little. I hope today is better for you.

Mel how are you sweetie? I hope you're feeling a bit better today as you weren't feeling yourself? Whats your plans today for your day off, anything nice?

Big hugs ladies

Lots of love

Laura

xx

[sylviah]

Belinda, stop googling please, we all do it and it doesn't really help. Aches and pains, unfortunately as we all get older these set in for no reason, have you got the "grunt" yet as you sit down or stand up? One day you sit down and you realise you've been making this little grunt noise. You even look around to see if somene has heard.....lol.It's like starting to wear beige coloured cardigans and say "in the good old days", you promise yourself you won't, but you do!!!! lol

Hope you slept well all you lovely people

Sylvia

Had a minor beakdown and crash last evening, me not the car, but woken up ok ..ish this morning. How easy it is to think the wrong way and how hard to keep positive and motivated.....ah well, loads more work and Mums b'day today, so onwards and upwards.

[Belinda165]

Hi Mel

I've had the pains for a few months, put them down to exercise so I stopped going to the gym to see if it made a difference - it didn't - of noticed the lump in my breast last week. Check regularly but could have missed if - don't know . Blood tests were because I kept getting bruises - didn't find anything untoward there - just clumsy lol

No more googling - cup of tea , early night with my book and trying hard to relax !! Thanks again Mel xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Belinda,

I'm sure your mind is going into overdrive and again, that's quite normal. I can't say for sure about the pains in your arms and back. Did you have these before you noticed the breast change?

I would doubt they're linked. I also know myself that I put every ache and pain down to the breast issue. You haven't said what the blood tests were for, but whether they pick up anything else would be down to what they were testing for, I assume.

Please stop Googling! You'll always hit the horror stories first, which will NOT help you at the moment. When I found out I needed a mastectomy, I wanted to look at pictures first so I had an idea what to expect.

I Googled, as I didn't know where else to look. Again, the first images are usually the worst. Mastectomies gone wrong etc. You have to remain very calm and remember the horror stories always take precedent.

Please don't Google bone cancer because of aches and pains... Would you have looked up bone cancer if you had no issues with your breasts?

Stay focused. Only look at credible medical or support networks. Love Mel. xxx

[Belinda165]

Found myself googling bone cancer tonight , such a bad idea . Had pains in my arms and back for a while praying nothing sinister going on there - I had blood tests for something else recently - would anything wrong with my bones show up there ? Mind going into overdrive - need to get a grip and give myself a good talking to !!

[pippadog]

Hi all

Syviah I hope you're mom has a wonderful birthday and I'm glad she's feeling better. You made me smile when you mentioned asking for a cancellation. Thats exactly what I would have done.

Mel Don't worry about the letter, you've got enough to think about, without worrying about that. I'm glad your daughter didn't need biopsies and that they are fibrodaemas. I bet you wished you never stepped foot into the opticians lol. Thats alot of money. But glasses are expensive aren't they? I'm still waiting for my letter which should come tomorrow. I keep getting my days mixed up, I was sure today was Wednesday. I think the increase in anti-depressants is starting to taking effect. I'll be zombied by Friday.

Belinda I'm glad today was a bit easier. You can come and clean my kitchen if you want to lol. Seriously, remember just keep taking it moment by moment. Find something nice to do this evening.  We are here for you. There are loads of brilliant ladies on this forum, who really know their stuff and are true anagels.

I'm off to do a bit more knitting and then another early night, as I think I've got a blinking cold coming.

Big hugs

Laura

xxx 

[Belinda165]

Hi all

Today was a better day - kept busy , my kitchen has never looked so tidy . So glad I decided to take the week off work , It's taken the pressure off a little.

As Thursday gets closer i can feel my nerves building, but keep remembering all your advice . Being in touch with you guys is a fantastic help and makes me feel like I'm not going through this alone . Love and best wishes xxxx

[MelMc68]

Hi ladies,

Well, what a mad busy day! I think Coventry City Council has decided that it's a good idea to do every bit of roadworks that need doing all over Coventry at the same time!! Bloody nightmare getting to hospital this morning. The good news is, Ashleigh's lumps all look like fibroadenomas. No biopsies were taken. The not so good news is that she has two new ones (not one as we thought). So, she has four in total. Also, the first two that were initially checked in 2011 have both gotten bigger.

One of them has grown from 2.8 to 3.5mm. The doctor seemed to think that this was "within the boundaries for margin of error for two different people measuring", but I think 7mm is actually a fair bit of growth. However, as nothing looks suspicious, the current advice is just to stay vigilant. If Ashleigh notices any change whatsoever, she should go back for biopsies.

So she'll have me on her back now, making sure she's doing regular checks!!

Then went optician after lunch as I had appointment booked... Then I talked Ashleigh into getting a test as she hasn't been for a few years... Then about £400 later... Here I am!! The optician has advised yearly sight tests for me now as not only is my sight deteriorating naturally, but Tamoxifen can have an impact on your vision. So must keep on top of that. Can't wait to get my specs so I can actually read what I'm rambling on about!!

Ladies, I'm sorry to hear you've all been having some bad days. I wish there was something I could do or say to help. Just try and bear in mind there is an end date to all of this. It won't go on forever. At the end of the tunnel, there's light...

Laura, I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to look at your letter yet. It'll be tomorrow now as the cooking and homework duties will be commencing shortly. I promise to do it tomorrow. Today just ended up being a complete rush from one place to another.

Sylvia, I hope you're feeling a bit better and I hope your mum is looking forward to her big day! At least her bug wore off in time. It'll be my dad's eightieth in April. Need to get my brothers together so we can make plans!

Belinda, I hope you're coping with the wait. I know how torturous it is. Just take it one day at a time.

Take care my lovelies. Catch up soon. xxx

[sylviah]

Thanks Laura. Thankfully Mum's bug was only a 24 hour thing, so she is up and about again, looking forward to her 83rd b'day tomorrow. 

I haven't been on here as much as the waiting period, but haven't deserted. The result has now sunk in properly and I really think I was in a bit of denial last Friday and Saturday, so have sunk back to a little panic and much anger! Just waiting now for my op date which should be within 4 weeks....I felt a right idiot yesterday when I asked the nurse could I have a cancellation appt if one came about.....very nicely she smiled and said in  over 30 years of doing this my dear there has only ever been one cancellation and we sent her home on the day of the op because she had flu....guess I just didn't think that one through really, yeah right, like anyone is going to cancel an op for this sort of thing....lol. Hope you are holding up ok Laura and Mel, let us know how Ashleigh got on. Perhaps you will dancing together this evening behind the closed curtains.....lol. 

Take care all and speak soon

Sylvia xx

[pippadog]

Hi Girls

Belinda I'm so sorry yesterday was a bad one. I was crying all over the place. I remember when I went for my MRI on my breasts and I was sobbing all the way through lol. (I had to put my head face down in a hole and my boobs were in cups, not a pleasent site lol) The past few weeks I have also spent breaking down in tears at the slightest thing. Also I've been so bloody angry, mostly at the system, more than anything. But all these  feelings are really natural. A friend of mine who is wonderfully excentric told me to buy some eggs go in the woods and throw the eggs at some trees lol, or punch the pillow. I didn't do the egg thing as I would probably get an unfortunate soul going past lol. I'm glad you had your nails done yesterday, a bit of pampering is well worth it. Another thing I did was make sure you put that make up on and make yourself feel really special. Also pop into boots and spray yourself with some lovely perfume and always believe in the power of an estee lauder lipstick lol . I could go forever when it comes to retail therapy. Seriously, Mel and Sylviahs words are always wonderful, they know what they are talking about. But remember our little motto, I know its near impossible, but just think of the here and now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but this second. Big hugs.

Syviah So sorry to hear your moms not feeling very well. Yes I do think somethings going round. I felt really dizzy last night and went to bed early. I think after all this worry I'm coming down with something probably a cold. I'm glad you're meeting with the bc team was productive and you came away feeling well informed and cared for. You should do.

Mel I'll be thinking of you today. I hope everything goes well with your daughter at the doctors. I will be back later for a chat.

Big hugs lovelies.

Laura

xx   

[sylviah]

Hi all, Yes the stomach bug thing is here in Hampshire aswell, my poor 83 year old Mum had it yesterday (bless here, she said she hasn't moved that quickly in years...lol) So I had an appt with BC nurses today and what a great bunch of people they are. Answered everything I had to ask and really put me at ease. Looking forward to getting my op date now and getting on with it.  Belinda don't limit the crying, it really does let it all out. Scream and shout if it helps, but just stay positive. (I know easy for me to say when I have got past the waiting period) but on getting the results it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Mel good news about Ashleighs appt, the sooner the better, good luck to her. Laura, chin up lovey, you are getting there.

Take care all and have a good nights sleep

Sylvia xx

[Belinda165]

Lovely to hear from you Mel and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your response and support . Enough crying for today , decided to go into town and have my nails done tomorrow followed by some retail therapy - keeping busy ! Thanks again xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Belinda,

I know this was addressed to Laura, but thought I may respond. Hope that's ok.

You will yo-yo up and down. That's normal. And you will associate every ache and pain with the lump. That's normal too, but very unlikely to be connected. Your emotions will be all over the place right now, but I promise you one thing for definite. Whatever happens, you'll still be around for a long time to come.

Don't start planning on what the future may be like without you! Remember what Laura said about the here and now. Even if you do have breast cancer, you still have a full life ahead of you!

I'm sure you'll be ok, but if the worse happens, it really isn't the end of your life; just the start of something new and different. Trust me.

Don't be despondent. Whatever happens it's ok. You'll get there. xxx

[Belinda165]

Hi Laura

So up and down today - felt ok this morning but when my husband got back from work I lost it again - seeing him and my kids makes me feel so sad at what I might leave - terrifying thought . I've had aches and pains in my back for a couple months and now I'm thinking these are connected with the lump I found - driving myself crazy !

Pampering day tomorrow - housework can wait..... Xx

[MelMc68]

Hi Laura,

I'll have to look at your letter tomorrow now I'm afraid. But I'd imagine the letter you're waiting on is probably confirming what you're thinking, I.e. About the preventative mastectomy, hence the six months. Though I'm sure it'll still nag at you. I'll get back to you tomorrow re the letter you are sending.

Ashleigh text me from Uni to say she has got an appt at the breast clinic tomorrow morning!! Gobsmacked it's come through so quickly! So, an early start as it's at 08:50 and right over the other side of the city through rush hour madness!

Laura, Belinda is on the other thread... Take care ladies. xxx

[pippadog]

Hi Mel and Belinda

Mel Sorry that you're not feeling 100%. To be honest me and hubby have been feeling a bit sicky lately. I don't know if its been stress or something foodwise. I hope you feel better soon. I have sent you a draft copy of the letter, to the email address. Sorry its so long, and I hope it doesn't send you to sleep lol. Also I'm sorry  that my suggestion of dancing made your foot worse. Next time just wave your arms in the air like a maniac and do some chair dancing lol.

Belinda, how are you today? I can well understand the worry about the sick pay. I've been out of work for over a year and unfortunately my application for benefit was turned down, so we rely on hubbys salary at the moment. I thought about making a claim when all this kicked in. But because I have constantly been in limbo with no diagnosis, what could I claim any sick for? Unfortunately, the system doesn't have much sympathy for stress. I hope you've been able to keep yourself busy today. Whats your plan for tonight? I'm not good at housework, never have been. I'm too lazy and also having dogs gives me an excuse not to be tidy lol.

I spoke to my consultants secretary who read out the letter they've sent me in the post. It explains that they are not going to do anymore tests as they feel the area is benign. However, the consultant wants to see me in 6 months and recommends that I have my mammogram next year. Strangely, although I feel I should be happy. Something wonders why they want to see me in 6 months. Is it as part of the procedure for my preventative masectomy or is it concerning the area. So although hubby says we should be relieved I'm still a bit dubious. But I won't process anything further until the letter comes which will probably be Wednesday. A letter of complaint is definitely being done either way.

Off to have a bit of dinner. Hopefully I'll be back later.

Big hugs lovelies

Laura

xx 

[MelMc68]

Hi ladies,

Just thought I'd check in and see how you are today. I'm still feeling a bit odd; not sure what to put it down to really.

Had a good laugh yesterday, taking on board Laura's advice about the dancing! John took littl'un food shopping, so I cranked up the music whilst washing up and cleaning the kitchen. Ashleigh popped round and let herself in... She said to me "What the hell are you doing!?!?" I said "I feel sick so I'm trying to make myself feel better!!"

She was wetting herself laughing for a good five minutes. She said "How the hell do you think jiggling yourself about all over the place is going to make you feel better?? It's like banging your head against a wall to get rid of a headache!!"

So I continued to dance, then started singing along to the cheesy eighties song that came on, and we were both in stitches! I think she thinks the Tamoxifen is sending me doolally!!! She may well be right! It didn't stop me feeling sick, but it took my mind off it!

And today I'm paying the price as my heel is killing!! But, it was worth it. We had a proper old laugh. So, definitely more of that to come. It was very therapeutic!

Hoping you're well ladies. Catch up soon. xxx

[pippadog]

Hi ladies

Sylviah, hope your husband didn't get to watch match of day and you had a very productive, fun evening lol. Also I hope you went for the pinot instead of the coke. I like the idea if full makeup. I'm usually wellies and jeans for dog walking, kind of girl. But lately I've made a bit more effort., wearing make up, putting earrings in and even putting perfume on before going to bed. I think its very true not to save clothes, makeup and stuff for special occassions. But to wear as and when. So today after church, its red lipstick day lol.    

Mel, hope you're feeling better. To be honest I felt a bit dizzy and nauseaous last night, might be some viral thingy or something. Feel bit brighter this morning. Have a restful day. 

Speak to you later.

Laura

xxx

[MelMc68]

Oo ER!!! Go for it Sylvia!!!!

[sylviah]

What a shame.... there are loads of stomach bugs around at the moment, so maybe its just that. Hope you feel loads better tomorrow, but if not, put your feet up, sit back and let your family wait on you. Wouldn't it be great if we could send cyber housework fairies, ironing fairies and cooking fairies to each other....lol. Can't moan though as my hubbie is ex military and expert at all of the above (when I let him be).

Just making my mind up whether to have another diet coke or a couple of glasses of pinot. Also feeling devilish and wondering if I can take hubbies mind off Match of the Day....oo'er missus, that's very naughy of me. lol xxxxxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Sylvia,

Didn't bloody make it to church. Been feeling really sick all bloody afternoon. The trouble is, now when I feel sick, I have no clue what to put it down to! I'm wondering if it might be the new brand of Tamoxifen that I waited so patiently for! Or perhaps it's the Venlaxafine... Or maybe I just feel sick!!

I ordered pizza as a treat for everyone. Couldn't eat mine, in spite of being hungry. Hey ho. At least my gorgeous girl got to church courtesy of daddy. And she really enjoyed it, so she's happy. Even happier when pizza arrived for tea!

So, not the afternoon/evening I'd got in mind... But tomorrow's another day, so onwards and upwards.

Hope your evenings are going well ladies. xxx

[sylviah]

Not putting too fine a point on this, I might have a go with this .......Mel you are not alone with this my love lol xxx

Thanks Laura xxx

[sylviah]

Laura, yes I am more positive now, but having a "wonder why me" day, so keeping busy and not dwelling too much on it. I don't usually wear full make up, but the whole lot of war paint went on today (lol) and I went out with a big smile on my face, smiling and saying hello to anyone and everyone (something not normally done in standoffish, snobby Hampshire) but it made me feel good. Also watched Simon Weston on the news this morning (the Falkland veteran with those terrible burns) My word that guy is inspirational and so humble. How the hell he got through all that happened to him, I don't know, and I am worried about a pea sized lodger, who will be evicted soon and some treatment that isn't going to last forever. He has to live with his disfigurements for the rest of his life. Think my bicardi idea will work with my marathon running friend...lol

Mel..... don't worry about your weight, you will lose it when you want to, as Laura said not a good idea to put a strict regime on yourself at the moment. The main thing is to be happy within yourself! One thing that has played on my mind for the last 10 days is about my weight and "unhealthy" lifestyle prior to 3 years ago. I decided to clean my act up and stopped drinking everyday (not heavily) but limited it to a couple of brandies a week. I also put myself on a strict low carb diet, 6 days a week,no potatoes, no pasta, no rice, no bread, no crisps, Lunch has been a couple of crackerbreads with salad, and dinner, fish with veg stir fry. On the 7th day I could have my treat of a chinese takeaway. I lost 3 stone slowly over 6 months and have maintained that weight. Yes I look good compared to before, yes I can now wear a size 12/14, and yes the rib and waist fairy returned my ribs and waist to me, but the last 10 days have proved to me that no matter how healthy, fit, rich or whatever you are, it really doesn't matter in the grand scale of things. Your health and happiness is the main thing that matters. If you want to eat chocolate cake everyday, or drink pinot everyday then do so if it makes you happy. Hope you enjoyed your daughters singing, it doesn't matter if she can't string 2 notes together, at least she has tried and I bet you were the proudest parent there! x Have a good evening everyone xxx

[MelMc68]

Cool, thanks Laura. Will look into it.......... xxx

[pippadog]

Hi Mel

Found you lol. Yes Replens is the stuff for the dryness. Without being too graphic, its a cream which isn't hormonal, which helps with lubrication. If you do a search on amazon, theres lots of positive reviews and the doctor should give you some as its not hormonal. Similar to KY.

Laura

XX

[MelMc68]

Hi Laura

I already take Menopace Plus. No contraindications. I was taking Menoherb (black cohosh) as well, but this is not advisable according to NICE, so I've stopped that.

Can you tell me anything about Replens?? I've heard of it (through other forums) but not sure what it is. Sorry if I sound dumb!! xxx

[pippadog]

Hi Mel

Menopause symptoms are my speciality lol. My boobs have never had much sensitivety anyway. So when I have my masectomy, no loss there as there wasn't much anyway lol. My friend whos had the masectomy and double reconstruction from the tummy area, says shes got no sensation as yet. Shes had her nipples reconstructed and she's having her tattoos on her nipples done in March. Also she is waiting for a hysterectomy as she has the BACC2 gene. Her mom had breast cancer, also her aunt and grandmother.

I'm sure there are places where you can get swimming costumes for your size. When I go to the support group I will ask the ladies there, as they supply wigs, bras etc. They probably know somewhere that does them. I will message your the name of their website, its very good, also you can like them on facebook.

As for the other dryness issue. Yes I get that too. Your doctor should give you Replens on prescription which is good. It does work wonders and alot of people have had alot of success with them. Also I take Menopace night vitamin tablets which are supposed to help with night flushes. But check you can take this with your other drugs and theres no contraindications.  

Laura

xx

[MelMc68]

Forgot to say, I'm sure your weight loss is purely stress related and nothing sinister. xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Laura,

Loving your attitude!! The dancing idea is very tempting, and trust me, I wouldn't be bothered about shutting the curtains!!! One thing I don't do easily is get embarrassed!

Not sure I could even do that at the moment though. Hey ho, I'm sure these insoles will start helping soon, then I can dance the nights away!!

As for swimming... I don't embarrass easily, but there's no way I could even go to a public pool! Not looking like Ursula the Sea Witch with one breast! I don't think they make mastectomy swimming costumes in my size; another issue I have to deal with... I'm very limited on choices of lingerie etc. because of my size. I've only found one style of bra that they make big enough.... 😢

As for sex, we still manage it now and again, but for me, there's very little stimulation anymore. It's as if all of my erogenous zones have been systematically wiped out! First, the hysterectomy reduced my sensitivity all over. Then, losing my left breast has taken that stimulation away. I don't know why, but my right nipple has never been remotely sensitive, so no stimulation there... And of course, as the Tamoxifen reduces the oestrogen, that just means I'm dry as a bone! I have used baby oil, which helps. Perhaps I need to look for a lubricant that's suitable (no oestrogen).

We always have had an active and healthy sex life, so it's a bit of a bummer, but we do keep trying!!!

Take care. xxx

[pippadog]

Hi Mel

I can really sympathise with your worries about your weight. But on the scale of things, who cares lol. A full scale weight loss regime at the moment is probably not a good idea.

I was going to suggest walking, as I truly believe going for a nice walk is one of the best things mentally and physically. Also its free. However, with your plantar problem that is not an option. A friend of mine had a double masectomy December 2012 and also had a hip replacement when she was a child loves swimming and aqua aerobics. But obviously that may not be an option for you yet. Make sure you get the go ahead from the consultant before doing anything physical. Alternatively, I know it sounds mad, but shut your curtains. Make sure no ones in or do it with the family. Pump the music up and have a dance. Certainly helps to lift your mood. Mostly however, pamper yourself, fluff yourself up and remember beauty is an attitude. I am sure if you look like you sound your one gorgeous lady. Also what about a bit of sex. You burn loads of calories with that one and it's fun lol. Also its a treat for your hubby lol.

I started exercising when I went through my early menopause at 32 and I was worried more about my bones. To be honest exercise alone does not help with weight loss. But when it comes to food I try to have a little of what I like and try and be good most of the time. Enjoy your wine, its probably helping you alot therapeutically anyway. I haven't been drinking much lately because of my medication and I find it gives me an awful hangover now. Its probably all the drinking over the years has knackered my liver lol.

Anyway, love yourself, pamper yourself and through the bloody scales away. I only got on them this morning as I was scared about the stress on my weight. Also I was having those bloody awful thoughts about 'could this weight loss be something ominous'. Also hope your daughter has a good time in the choir. 

Lots of love

Laura

xx 

[MelMc68]

Hi ladies,

Well, I hate to say this, but I wish the weight would fall off me! I tend to avoid the scales... Not knowing what I way is my way of dealing with the fact I need to lose about seven stone! And of course, one of the more common side effects of Tamoxifen is weight gain; Oyez!!

I also do zero exercise. I really need to change my lifestyle completely! I am eating much more healthily now though. My downfall is my vino. Me and the other half drink quite a lot! Another habit that needs breaking. It's terrible how these habits sneak up on you and become part of your routine. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a drink problem, I just enjoy my few glasses to stop completely.

So my plan is to drop a bit of weight if I can, then take up some gentle exercise and build it up slowly.

Another bloody (minor, but very painful) medical issue I have is Plantar Fasciitis. This has gotten much worse since I came off the HRT. I can barely walk on my left foot, so this just makes even the most gentle exercise difficult. They've offered me injections into my heel, but the pain would be terrific. I had injections years ago into the base of my thumb. OMG THE PAIN!!? So, no thanks.

I found some shoe insoles which are supposed to really work, so I'm currently breaking them in, which takes a few weeks. Then, hopefully, I can start some walking. Even if I did 10 minutes to begin with, I'd be happy!

So, your task ladies................. Is to keep me on the straight and narrow!! I need lots of encouragement!

Hahaha, this will give us all something else to think about other than BC (at least occasionally)!!

I hope you're all enjoying your weekend so far. I'm off to church later! Not something I do often, but my ten-year-old is required to sing in the choir... They must be desperate as she can't string two notes together!!

Take care peeps. xxxxxxxx

[pippadog]

Hi Girls

Mel thanks again for your wonderful words. You keep me going. If nothing else the suns shining lol.

Sylviah you sound alot more positive since you know what you're dealing with. Although, its a journey of ups and downs, you sound like you've definitely got a winners attitude. Also I have a couple of knee straps I could borrow you. Alternatively, I may have an awful hospital shoe thing they gave me when I had my toe operated on.

Weighed myself this morning and I never thought I would say it, but I was pleased that the weight is going back up. I wanted to lose a bit of weight, but definitely not this way. So no more chocolate cake for me, everyday. Just on Saturdays. Oh todays Saturday, wheres the cake lol. Hubby was pleased when I told him the weight has stopped going down, as he was worried about my mental well being. In a way weekends are a bit better for me, as there are no bloody phone calls to worry about and the hospital admin tends to be shut lol. So they can't mess me about.  

By the way I have been told I look like Sharon off birds of a feather (before she lost weight lol).

Love

Laura

xxx

I have

[MelMc68]

Bribery and corruption.... Always a winner!! xxx

[sylviah]

Ursula the sea witch?!? at least that's better than "The Rottweiler" my hubbies ex used to call me....lol.....leg brace, now that's an idea, but I think I can probably bribe my friend with a couple of bottles of bicardi xx

[MelMc68]

Hey Sylvia, I have a leg brace from when I did my knee ligaments!!! Cost me a fortune, but willing to do you a deal (my Arthur Daly or Delboy coming through!!!) heehee!! xxx

[MelMc68]

Yeah Sylvia,

Doctor C knows better than to mess with Ursula the Sea Witch!!!

[sylviah]

Laura you are probably in bed by now, have a good rest up and tomorrow is another day. You were NOT moaning, you certainly are entitled to a closure to this and a damned good explanation of what has gone on and an apology. so the lady you spoke to doesn't work after Wednesdays? So what, that is no excuse or reason at all. I am really angry on your behalf. You do exercise? Good for you, I am now trying to find a way out of this marathon I promised my friend I would do when I am better......so if anyone knows of anyone with a broken ankle, about to have the plaster cast taken off (size 6) please ask them to send it to me........lol

[sylviah]

Her calmness comes from you, glad it's on the way to be sorted for her. Just laughed at "I think if you don't, you'll have my mother on the phone!" That was enough to get the referral!!! Good girl Ashleigh x