Big love and hugs for tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you and bloody good riddance to the lodger lol.
Mel as everyones stated, you are wonderful. I hope your throat is feeling a little better and you are giving yourself some TLC.
Kate & Hotlips I've had a similar situation with my calcifications. After a mammogram in November some calcifications were picked up in my left breast. The radiologist said they were like grains of sand. Anyway, theres no lump. My bc consultant initially opted for a breast MRI, which came back clear. Then I was called for a mammo guided biopsy. Which again come back with normal breast tissue. Then they decided they wanted to do the biopsy again. However now they think they are benign and I've got to go back in July.
Its been a long hell like process of one person saying one thing and one person saying something else. I've also sent a letter of complaint to the trust, due to the way I've been treated, but thats a different story and I could go on all day lol. I can thoroughly understand your stress, the past three months have been hell. I've been on sleeping tablets (which I'm still taking), diazepam (which I've stopped taking) and my anti depressents have been increased.
I was going to get a second opinion, but as I am being monitored anyway, it seems they are keeping there eye on me. Also to be honest for my own sanity I need a break from all this stress. I've got a family history of bc as I lost my mom to it in 1985. I just need a bit a space from it to be honest, or I think I will go mad.
But obviously, if you feel a second opinion would put your mind at rest then I would go and get one. Your peace of mind is the most important thing. Something I have repeated on here many times, which helps me is thinking depression happens due to worries of the past and anxiety happens due to fear of the future, but try and think in the moment. I try not to think too far ahead.
The waiting is the worst part of all this. I think knowing one way or another at least gives you some focus of what you may or may not be dealing with. The waiting makes your whole world unstable as if its all whirling out of your control. I know its near impossible to do but try to focus on the now, amongst all the instability that seems to be going on around you. I probably talk alot of rubbish lol.
Anyway big hugs girls. We are all in this together. Again thankyou Mel, you are the fairy godmother.
Mel, not even going to try and guess about your neck, i am no medical person and have no wish to be, but I will be sympathetic to any pain anyone has, so hope its not bringing you down too much and you are better soon....as for calling you a silly cow, no I won't type that (but you don't know what I am thinking!!! (JOKE) lol)
Feel a bit better today, I guess all was a bit much yesterday and I was tired so that combination wasn't good.
Yes lodger will be evicted on Monday and come Tuesday (knowing me) I shall be a bit (not much) embarrased of how I was yesterday. Anyway nurses told me to eat lots of carbs this weekend as it helps with recovery from the anaestetic......heaven...... to lose weight I cut out carbs, so bring on the pasta, rice and mega portions of roast potatoes......... starting shortly with crumpets for lunch.
I can well understand you 'stepping away' from the forums. With all the support you have been giving to others, you have probably worn yourself down a little. Nows time for a little 'self' time.
As for your glands it sounds like you may have some throat infection or possibly a bit of glandular fever. I know that your mind is racing and you're probably reading alot more into it, than is necessary. But you have been through a hugely emotional and physical life change and its bound to make you run down and more susceptible to infections etc. I know its the last thing you need at the moment.
About a year ago my hubby whos diabetic had a cough that seemed to go on for nearly a year. He had tons of anitbiotics, the gp sent him for chest xrays, blood tests you name it. My husbands never smoked and we were all fearing the worst. Also he could feel a lump in his throat. Anyway after about 18 months he went to see a private chest consultant and he told him there and then it was due to one of the drugs he was taking for his diabetes, ramipryl. Hubby had whats called a ramapryl cough, which is very common with the drugs he was on. So they've tood him off them and he's alot better.
When I was waiting for my results, my acid reflux went through the roof and I was completely convinced it was something to do with my calcifications.
I think the mind is the worst thing, it blows everything up out of proportion. Your doctor probably wants to check a whole range of things out from blood tests. Like I said possibly glandular fever (which is vile).
I know how hard it is to keep things in perspective when something like this is also going on in your life. But I'm sure the doctor will get to the bottom it, and its some horrible little bacteria/virus thingy.
Big hugs matey and drink some warm brandy for the sore throat lol.
Just popped on to see how you all are.
Sylviah my thoughts and hugs are sent your way. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but with all the waiting and stress this caused me, I can imagine you will be relieved when the operation is over with. Once again Mel is the 'fairy godmother' of excellent advise.
As you are aware I've got to go back 1st July to see the consultant and also in April to see the cosmetic surgeon about my reconstruction. I sent my letter of complaint to the head of the trust and I've had a letter of acknowledgement to say they are looking into my comments. There are still niggling thoughts going on in the back of my mind about the calcifications, but to be honest, for my own sanity I've got to have some rest from my worries as its completely left me worn out.
I will be back posting occassionally, to add some support to those of us in the 'waiting roon'. I really don't know how I would have got through the last few months without you ladies on here. I've never met you all, but you all feel like family now.
Anyway, bigs hugs everyone. I will keep coming back to 'see' you all.
Lots of love
Good to hear from you and good to see you are still on the forum. Even when my op and treatment is over, I intend to be on here from time to time, to see if I can help out others and there will be days when I need this forum too! It's like talking to close friends, even though we don't know each other and it also gives my hubbie a rest from me gabbing on. He is very supportive and the best, but we have "fallen" out over certain things and he is the last person I want to fall out with, I need him so much.......They say opposites attract and he is always "glass full" and I am "glass empty" with normal run of the mill stuff, this works really well, but with cancer it doesn't. Since this all started with me, I have found people on here inspirational and it does help me to be stronger..sometimes I just read and not comment.Mel must be the strongest person I have ever come across and she chooses to share on here still....even though she has herself and her family to look after.
Mel thank you so very much. I had another melt down last night and got the valium from the back of the cupboard and took one to calm me down ( the Gp had prescribed them before I got my results and since results day I haven't taken one) Anyway, instead of calming me down it knocked me out and I woke at 10 pm and went to bed...lol. I have just woken up. No aches , no pains, so come on Sylvia, it must be stress doing it!..... Also haven't had that churn of the stomach yet. Yes you are right about my screaming reason. Yesterday I seemed to bump into a lot of people that had "cough" headache" "cramp in their big toe" and were moaning and of course I gave them sympathy...I got none back, but why should I, they didn't know..... I know I will get aches and pains in the future, but at least after the op, because I KNOW the consultant is right, even if I think the worst, I can then quantify that as being normal (well eventually I will). What also happened yesterday is that an old school friend who I have only seen in passing for the last 30 odd years. (we were friends from 5 to 18 then she moved away) sent me a message, wishing me luck on Monday and that she was thinking of me (another friend has told her) she sent me a picture of when we were 15 on holiday together (my god I was skinny..lol) this was lovely of her, but it bought on the tears. We had been to visit our new bungalow as well again, so I think yesterday a lot happened and it all came to a head. Today and tomorrow I will be very busy, getting "the list" ready for hubby on Monday...lol. Roll on Monday evening, I know I will be feeling groggy, but I should also be feeling a lot better.
Once my op is over and I feel a bit better Mel, time for lump, fate and destiny......lol......like you if I can type 5000 words instead of 5, then that's really me....lol xxxx
Thank you Mel. Not a good day today, there's only so much brave face you can put on isn't there. Had a bit of a melt down earlier, I know its not long to go now, so hopefully my mind and body just playing nasy tricks on me I could do without....... I know deep down I am wrong, but because of the twinges aches etc, I keep thinking the cancer has spread, is that daft? I've had x-rays and blood tests on 3rd of Feb, they would have told me if they had found anything on them? Had pre -op assessement the other day and she checked in my notes and said there would be something in them if extra to what the consultant told me...............there was nothing extra. Its easy to tell other people that the aches etc are just stress, but not so easy to believe yourself. The nurse said the aches in lumpy breast was the core biopsy still healing, yes I stll have a faint bruise and that was mid January when I had that! I am just holding on to what the consultant said, which was he is 100% confident of getting rid, but then I am starting to doubt the 100%. Going to get an early night tonight and hopefully a good nights sleep, so I will have a better day tomorrow. So tired, but I am mentally drained as have been holding up a brave face for all of this week, when just sometimes I have felt like standing in the street and screaming...... Sorry Mel. didn't mean to moan, but will post tomorrow hopefully in a better frame of mind xx
Mel, thank you again! I am sure (ish) that once I have had the op, I will feel differently inside my head anyway eventually. Deep down I know I just have to feel what I am feeling and get through it (manic depression many years ago taught me this :() I suppose I was a bit naive when first diagnosed to think Ok I can just function normally and soon it will be gone. Too tough on myself as my friends are always telling me. Thankfully we have the house move coming up, which is keeping me occupied. It has been delayed a week, so we are due to move on the 7th March, which is probably better than the original 4 days after the op....lol...
Going to dust myself down now, and have a good Sunday and if my mind wanders then so be it. If I wasn't worrying about all this, then I guess it would be about something else.
Roll on 24th Feb pm - op will be over and I can start to move forward.
Have a great Sunday
Have been keeping myself busy so not been on here for a while. Well only 13 days to go and my op will be over and done with.Amazing this is all coming round so quickly now, yet at first it was really dragging. I have experienced so many emotions over the past 5 weeks. My hubbie and friends have been my rocks. I suppose there are many stages you can go through of emotions and there is no manual for how you should be feeling, but sometimes I just wish I could switch the brain off just for a few minutes. I am angry at so many things, luckily I have contained the anger (just) and I think it has helped me through. I am confused though that I seem complacent about having BC and the attitude of "lets go on with it and get it done then" and yet the thought of the op and after is terrifying me. I want to snap at people who moan about a sore throat, they don't know about me, but I just want to shake them and say wake up it isn't that bad you know....... I think I have become paranoid as I think everyone who I walk by in the street "knows", but they don't, why should they? I feel I should feel ill, but I don't (thankfully as that would be more worrying), but I feel as fit as a fiddle. Yet they tell me the treatment could make me feel ill. See what I mean, would be just nice to turn off the brain for a while. If anyone can shed some light on any of the ways I am feeling, I would be more than grateful..
Good to hear from you. I'm glad things are getting back to normal for you now... You're right; it does change your perspective on the importance of things in your life. You are now able to get in with yours and leave all this behind, but I'm glad we were able to help you through the dark times, even just a little bit.
Take care my lovely. Mel. xxx
Thanks for the tip! There isn't one in Coventry, so I'll need to find whre my nearest one is, and then try and book an appointment when I can get there.
Hoping everyone's ok... the thread has gone quiet now! xxx
Well I went and had my boobs measured at bravissimo and I am officially small chested lol. I always thought I was 38b/c, but I am actually 34c/d. Talk about way out lol. I bought a couple of bras and hubby said its good to see me in a properly fitted bra. All these years I've been walking around with gaps in my cup lol. Granted I have lost quite a bit of weight recently, but its good to have a good fitted bra. I will tell the plastic surgeon in April that I only need a 34d and if he pushes it I will go for 34dd.
I hope you ladies have had nice weekends. Mel I asked the lady at bravissimo if they provided bras for ladies with prothesis, she said yes and they actually go up to a L cup. If they can't help you they can give you the details of somewhere that will. She said all you'd have to do is book a fitting appointment (which is no obligation) with them and they would help sort you out. She didn't even measure me. She said that they didn't use tape measures as that method was often wrong. So I'd give them a go. They were very good with me.
Hope everyones okay lots of hugs.
Your friend sounds like me. Means well but always puts her foot in it lol.
My friend has the BRACC2 gene and Nov 2012, she had the full mastectomy and reconstruction using her tummy fat. She did amazingly well, considering she's a single parent of two kids aged 3 and 4. She's had a date now for her ovaries and tubes to be removed. Amazingly, to me she's more worried about the menopausal effects after the op, than she ever was about her mastectomy. She keeps asking me about flushes, dryness, headaches and every symptom of the menopause. She seems genuinely worried about this. I said to her considering what she's had done already; menopausal symptoms will be easy. However, today she's told me she's put the date back as she's not ready to go ahead yet. Its strange that what worries one person doesn't worry another person and visa versa.
I get into a state about everything, from if I've left the gas on to the extreme. I suppose we are all different lol.
Anyway I'm glad I didn't upset you, because I really didn't mean to.
Big hugs lovelies
Hey Laura, I never took it the wrong way and don't apologise please. I am pleased with the date being sooner than later, although little old impatient me would like to have it done right now.lol.
When I told a non cyber friend about the op date, she said that is really good news, and then she started to get all embarrassed at what she had said. I just told her to stop as she was diigging the original hole even deeper.....lol
Having had the proposed moving date of the 28th (not confirmed yet) me and hubbie looked at each other and said knowing how things are going at the moment, the op will be on the same day!!!! So 4 days before is great news really. Secretly hoping the move will be delayed to the first friday in March as another friend has offered to drive me the 70 miles to our new home,while her hubbie helds mine with the rermovals company. I love her to bits, but her driving is atrocious and scares the wotsit out of me......lol
Mel I'm glad you got the bra situation sorted out. Hope your meal out is lovely. Yes I am quite familiar with man flu. Us women have no idea how they cope do we lol.
Sylviah I do apologise about my stupid remark about being 'pleased' with your appointment date. Of course your not 'pleased' with anything to do with this process. Its all a bloody nightmare. I'm not the brightest of sparks and I don't express myself in writing very well. I was just acknowledging that your hospital appointment was at a time when you weren't moving house. I am sorry about the way I put it.
I like the idea of the towel with a hole in it for my dogs tail. Sounds like a good idea. Again today she decided she wanted to go swimming and was soaked as usual lol.
Today I'm going to do a bit of cleaning and get things sorted for the weekend. Apart from bra shopping myself tomorrow, I haven't got much planned.
Speak to you all later.
Glad your sorted bra wise..
Hope you 2 had a good lunch together.
I don't think looking forward to my op is the right way of putting it, but you know what I mean, perhaps I should just leave it as looking forward to the day after my op.
Laura, I wish I didn't have to be pleased with any date ;( but the sooner the better as far as I am concerned and then I can get on with the rest of my life whatever it may bring. This "squatter" has taken up too much of my thoughts lately, so looking forward to knowing it is elsewhere! We used to have a white GSD, so know exactly what you mean about your dog. We brought a large bath sheet and cut a hole in one end, so that when we came in from a wet walk one of us would stand holding the hole so that his head went in and the rest of the towel was soon wrapped round his hairy bod.
Have a great evening
Belinda - Yahoo, excellent news. Its all over. As Mel said get past this awful stage of your life and put it all behind you. I'm so pleased for you.
Sylviah - Sounds like you are pleased with the 24th. At least you know where you are and you can plan better. Hope the house move goes smoothly. I quite agree on the housework, I don't think I will ever be houseproud. Today my golden retriever decided she wanted to sit down in the dirtiest, muddiest puddle over the field. Her lovely cream bottom was completely black. Golden retrievers are beautiful dogs inside and out but they love to be the dirtiest and wettest dogs in the neighbourhood lol.
Mel - Some good suggestions there from sylviah concerning the sites and getting your bras made. Have a good search on the net later. I hope you feel a bit better after having your hair done. It always makes me feel better. But hubby thinks I feel better everytime I spend money lol.
Now off to cook dinner for when his nibs returns.
Yeah, that was a quick call back...op booked for the 24th, still a good date for me and a Monday too, so no extra weekdays to wait on. Come on the next 2 weeks please go quickly. 🙂
Oh bum!!!!! Just phoned and it hasn't been scheduled yet. But they are going to phone me as well as sending a letter, The 18th or 19th February would be really great for me, so start all your cyber "wishing for a certain date" thoughts for me.
Laura, great you have the letter at last. This is good news for you. I think you should celebrate it with a no housework year....lol oh heaven, all the little dusting fairies come over night and do it.....I wish.
Because I am impatient I am just about to phone the BC centre and white lie that my letter for my op appt hasn't arrived yet and could they tell me the date please? No way is this waiting period anywhere as bad as after the core biopsy, but I just want to know so I can then get on and plan my life before and after op. We are hopefully moving house soon and have a suggested completion date (not firm yet), but knowing my luck, the op will be for the same day....................lol