Here we go again! Need someone to talk sense to me.

[clk]

Ahh Sylvia, that is amazing news!! I'm so pleased for you ! Good luck with the move.

Sorry to hear about your girl, Mel.. hope her eyes clear real soon.

Thank you all so, so much!
Watching the tiny culprit collapse on the screen was wonderful! It did only collapse by around 80% but they're hoping the rest will disperse naturally.
They often say implants can hide breast lumps but the nurse thinks mine helped me find it! Xxx

I've learnt so much on here the last two weeks.. I've learnt that not only does bc come in all forms and at all ages but so do cysts. Mine seemed to be the 'typical' bc signs in the most common quadrant too but it just shows you!

[pippadog]

Hi ladies

Clare and Sylviah brilliant news. Sylviah good luck with the move and welcome to the hot flush club lol.

Mel I'm glad your neck is better and your daughters eye condition has improved. Theres nothing worse than eye infections for irritation.

Rima yes I have been to Good Hope. I don't know if they have a one stop breast clinic, as that was where I had my mammograms and biopsy done. Good luck with them. I have been to previous local hospitals like Spire ones and they have a one stop clinic. I think it depends on what they are going to do.

Anyway big hugs everyone.

Laura

xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Sylvia, sorry. Yes my neck is better thanks. Had the little one off school for the past couple of days with a really nasty infection in both eyes. Not sure if it was conjunctivitis or an allergy. But she got drops from walk in centre which actually made her eyes worse!! Took her to see pharmacist who said she was allergic to the preservatives in the drops!! God bless her. Yesterday, she could barely open her eyes at all. But she's much better now. Her room is just about finished too, so about to clean up all the dust etc. so we can move her in! She's sooooo excited!!!!

Take care. Catch up when things have settled for you. Good luck with the move!! A new chapter in your book. xxx

[sylviah]

Indeed it is a small price to pay, that'll teach me to fly through the menopause with minimal sweats and flushes won't it.....lol

Strange though, I blubbered more when I got in then when I was diagnosed, relief I suppose....any way that chapter of my life is over and it doesn't make the whole book a bad one..............

You never said whether your neck is better....is it?

Will be a bit intermittent on here for the next couple of days cos of the move, still on light duties, but feel I can do more now.

xxxxx

[MelMc68]

Yay Sylvia, great news for you too!! I knew you'd be good. 😄

I didn't have to have radiotherapy in the end as they took everything away. Your hormone treatment is a bit different to tamoxifen, but I believe they do the same kind of thing. So expect those lovely hot flushes and night sweats!! But, it's a very small price to pay for bring cancer-free!!

Great news. You and Clare have made my day!!! xxxx

[sylviah]

Clare that is great news well done you!

Roll of drums........I am officlally breast cancer free (Mel you were right again....xx) Have to have a small op in 3 weeks times as they didn't have quite enough margin of tissue removal, but only a little bit more to be taken and there are NO cancerous cells in that little bit.  Now I understand what the tests were for since the op........ will be radiotherapy and hormone treatment after (rimidex?) as confirmed Oestregen based only, not the protein one. He went into all sorts of explanations, but in all honesty, I don't care which or what is was it has gone and that is the main thing, Now to get on with all preventitive treatment and hope it never returns.

Will be back later

xx

[MelMc68]

Hi Clare,

Great news!!! Now you can put this behind you and get on with your life!! I'm very happy for you. Love Mel. xxx

[clk]

Well I wrote an essay and it vanished. ..

Sylvia, I do hope today went well !

I had great results.. it was a 6mm cyst; albeit one that the dr had never come across before but a cyst all the same.

I had mammogram and US first. The cyst had no blood flow but it had irregular edges and a grey area inside. He said because of this he was only 90% certain that it was a cyst.
He said he'd usually the perform an fna but I have implants and the cyst was only 1mm from my implant which he said would be a large risk. I had to take that risk to be certain .
Thankfully the liquid drained was characteristic to a cyst too.
I just have to monitor the area and go back to the gp should it return.

I can't thank you lovely ladies enough for your support over the last two weeks. I dont know how I would have got through the emotions without you all .xxx

[sylviah]

Mel. I'll leave it as thanks and speak later. Really jittery but feel I am more equipped mentally than I was 4 weeks ago. 

As for you, No you can't go by what your dreams are telling you, they are not always right.....I woke in a right sweat (nicely) the other night having dreamt all sorts of things about Johnny Depp.......... and sad to say my dreams were wrong......lol....lol....

You are right though we handle and deal with what we have to as it comes along, if it means having a few "off" days then so be it, because that makes the good days even more peachey. In your words which really do help "whatever the outcome will be a relief and weight off your shoulders and you will know what you are facing and which plan you will take" As per PM (which I hope got through) to you I will be hampered by go slow internet for a while, but will fire up the dongle on the 12th/13th/14th somehow, but if it doesn't work, you know I will be thinking of you.

Today is a good day, but as per usual it has started too damn early again for me....lol

xx

[MelMc68]

Hey Sylv,

Just for you really. I'm sure you're going to be clear. I now have that good feeling for you. 😀

For me, I have a not so good feeling. I've been having lots of dreams lately. Mostly involving second boob off!! However, I can't rely on bloody dreams! I just have this deep down feeling I'll get a second primary. Hey ho, whatever will be will be. We deal with it as it comes. My first follow up is 13th March. Will wait and see.

Sorry to sound a bit maudlin ladies.

Girls, tomorrow is gonna be a good day. xxxxxx

[MelMc68]

Hey Katie

I'm so glad you have nothing to worry about!! Now, go get on with your life! We'll always be here if you need us. Love Mel. xxxx

[MelMc68]

Hey Sylvia
I don't know. I just know that my feeling is usually right. I never said to you that I thought everything was fine, because I felt it wasn't. But, I know now, even though it was cancer, you're doing just fine. You will get a great result tomorrow. You're gonna be clear!! S##t. I've put my heart on the line here! But, I think you're result will be good! xxx

[sylviah]

"Anyways, I'm pretty confident you'll be fine. Since my time on here, I've had one occasion where I wasn't confident. And that was Sylvia, and I never said that I was confident for her. But Sylvia has done amazingly!"

Mel I never mentioned it before, but now you have, I did notice that when I first posted on here, I was the one that you missed saying you had a good feeling about.......at the time I didn't take much notice, but after diagnosis I mentioned it to hubbie who was amazed as was I. Do you have a sixth sense about these things, or was it just the fact of what the radiologist had said to me..... Strangely after diagnosis it made me feel closer to you, even though we would not know each other if we passed right by on the street. Sometimes when I was really low, I would read your posts to others which would help me through. Thanks for saying I have done amazingly, as I know you have had a much worse time than me and you really are amazing. Now i'm getting all blubbery and emotional.....lol......thank you Mel for being a great cyber buddie and more important than that a brilliant support. (was going to call you a crutch then, but that didn't sound too good....lol...lol)

xx

[sylviah]

Thanks Belinda

[Whatkatiedid]

Hi Mel and you all other lovely ladies.
Just to up date you. Went back to my GP today re califactions on my breast. She reassured me that all the tests/biopsies that were done recently would have been thorough and double checked and if there were any uncertainties I would be told so that is good enough for me. Having had fear and worry during the last 5 months I now feel I want to get back to some normality (sorry if that sounds selfish but I'm sure you know what I mean) anyway, I am now going to enjoy every day that comes and keep vigilant. Will keep looking in on the forum to help/reassure anyone that I can.

Mel, just to say again, you are a godsend..you help/reassure so many ladies, including myself. If I did not find this forum I don't know how I would have coped. I don't even know you but I feel you are a best friend!
Keep posiitive all you ladies.
Love Katie xxx

[MelMc68]

Clare and Sylvia

My best wishes for tomorrow. Let us know. xxx

[Belinda165]

Hi Sylvia

Wishing you well for tomorrow xx

[Belinda165]

Hi CLK

Just wanted to let you know I'll be thinking about you tomorrow , fingers crossed for good results x

[Belinda165]

Hi Rima

I was in your position a few weeks ago and found the site when I went to the breast clinic to check on a lump I found during my routine self checks . To cut a long story short my lump turned out to be benign but waiting for the results was really hard . The ladies on here were invaluable to me during that time and I can't thank then enough - everything they say is true - keep busy , cry if you need to it's completely normal and ok to go through so many different emotions - be kind to yourself .

I was one if the people Mel had a good feeling about - she knows what she's talking about ! If I can help help in any way while your in the waiting room please let me know . Take care xx

[MelMc68]

I meant to add that for every one of us on here who get a bad result, there are loads who get a good result, and stop using the site. I would say, in my experience, for every one person I've responded to, perhaps one in twelve or so have a worrying result. Even fewer have cancer. You are young. Most likely nothing. I'm confident for you. xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Rima,

I'm sure your situation will be good. Cysts can be painful; generally a softer lump. And quite large when they become noticeable.

I have said to people quite often that I get a good feeling for them. I have this for you. One thing you must remember is that most of the people who post on here have had a diagnosis of breast cancer. It's a shame that more people who have been given the all clear don't hang around! People in your position could do with an answer from people who have been given the all clear!

Anyways, I'm pretty confident you'll be fine. Since my time on here, I've had one occasion where I wasn't confident. And that was Sylvia, and I never said that I was confident for her. But Sylvia has done amazingly!

I am very confident for you Rima. Your little angels have you!!! xxx

[sylviah]

Rima, everything that Mel said..ditto!!!! lol

Come on here and sound off, it will help you. The waiting game is hard, but you will get there. Its' easy to say now, but I wasted 7 days of my life worrying over something that I could not change the outcome of.......if you can be really strong don't waste a minute worrying when you dont have to.

As Mel said one day and one step at a time, you will take a step backwards at times, but make sure the next you take are forward and at least 3 or 4.

Love and hugs

XX

[Rima_222]

Thank you Mel for your comforting reply, i have been to my doctor and she has checked me and said MAY be a cyst, but she feels it is abnormally big therefore she would like to refer me to the breast clinic, im sure just by feeling you cannot be sure but it is very evident and hard to miss, i am in the hope that this is just a scare as i have two little angels 7years and 4year old girls that i know i need to hold myself together for, the lump is also painful to touch, here is hoping to the fact that hopefully the next 11 days fly by, doing and planning everything to keep me busy and get me through this.

I have a supportive hubby and family around me but i guess this forum provides me with the much needed first hand experience many of you lovely ladies unfortunately on this site have had to go through. x

Rima_

[MelMc68]

Hi Rima,

I'm really sorry you've had to join this awful waiting game. I can assure you, the waiting is definitely the worst bit of this. You haven't described your symptoms, so not sure what they are, but I can say you have your age on your side. My daughter is 22 and has been referred to the breast clinic several times, but each time, her lumps have been diagnosed as fibroadenomas, which are entirely benign and harmless.

You will get lots of support from the site, so feel free to let your feelings out. We've all been through those ups and downs.

I can't comment on Good Hope, but have an incline that it's a one stop clinic. I think one of the ladies (Laura) who posts on this thread went there.

Even if it is a one stop clinic, if they do any tests (aspirations or biopsies), you would still have to wait for those results. Usually, about a week. But, let's hope it's something benign, which they would confirm on the day if they're 100% sure. If they do any tests, it doesn't mean there's something definitely wrong; it's often just to rule out anything nasty.

In the meantime, while you're waiting, try not to worry yourself too much. Keep busy, especially keep your mind occupied as much as you can. Whenever you need support, this is a great place to get it. The helpline is also great if you need to talk.

Take care, and take each day one step at a time. We'll be here for you. Love Mel. xxx

[Jo_BCC]

Hi Rima_222

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, you've come to the right place for some good, honest support from the many informed users of this site.

While you are waiting for replies, I have put for you below link to one of BCC's publications you might find helpful. Also our helpline team are just a free phone call away, 0808 800 6000 lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/worried-about-breast-cancer/referral-breast-clinic-...

[Rima_222]

:Hi everyone have just discovered this forum over the weekend, i am 26 and have been referred to the breast clinic on the 14th of march, finding it very hard to deal with all the feelings attatched to something that i didnt give a second thought before this, i feel like it is such a long way away, one minute im on top of the world, next minute im down in the dumps. read about so many ladies ordeals on this website and honestly feel like i am being stupid as it could be nothing but the not knowing is getting the better of me .xx

i have been referred to Good Hope Breast Clinic in birmingham does anyone know if this is a onestop clinic and i will get results the same day or will i have to wait longer??

Thank you in advance . xx

Rima

[clk]

Mel I'm really sorry to hear you've been down ... . You're so strong and upbeat the majority of the time that it's perfectly normal to have a meltdown at times .
Good luck tomorrow Sylvia!

I can't believe tomorrow is almost here! The last 13 days seem so long yet all of a sudden i can say my appointment is in the morning!
I'm still having mixed emotions. .. feeling totally prepared for bad news as I've been feeling that this lump is sinister all along. Then every few hours I think what a fool wasting the last 2 weeks worrying over something thats going to be nothing.
Although I told my husband after visiting the Dr we havent discussed it all.. other than I'd asked him not to mention anything in front of the children and he has said I'll be fine. But I do know he too is worried otherwise he wouldn't have booked tomorrow of work and insists he comes with me.
Just hoping I know something tomorrow. ..
Xxx

[pippadog]

Hi ladies

Mel so sorry you've been down matey. Like your husband said you wouldn't be human if things didn't get on top of you every once in a while. As Sylviah said, how is your neck, I hope its better. Also I noticed your daughters got an irritating eye infection. I hope she feels better soon. As for the clothes, now is a good time to go out and treat yourself to some new outfits. Retail therapy can't be beaten in my book lol.

Sylviah good to see that you are sounding well and your recovery is going smoothly. I also bruise quite badly everytime I have an op. I had my arm operated on in November and it was completely black. My thoughts and hugs are with you when you go for your results. 

I'm still waiting my response from the complaint letter I sent to the hospital. I've had an acknowledgement letter, but no response yet. To be honest when I go back in July, I really don't want to see the same breast consultant again as my faith has been completely knocked with him. I may ring and request another consultant, so I don't have to see him again.

Hubby's off work this week so we're doing a few things around the house and going out on a few day trips. Nothing special, he just needs a break.

Anyway I'll be on the forum in the next few days to catch up. Big hugs and love to everyone.

Laura

xx 

[sylviah]

Oh Mel honey........ it's so strange how something like this can set you off isnt it. Bet the cry did you good though as I think crying is something that builds over time without you knowing and the least little thing can set you off. How has your neck been. better I hope.

Not really looking forward to Tuesday, but still feeling positive, I know the lump has gone and no spread to the nodes and at first appt with consultant he said would get rid 100% or was confident of doing so. he just forgot to say that there would be a final test result after the op, so that threw me a bit, but there you go. Well move date fast approaching (Friday 7th) can't wait to start afresh.  I still have a multi coloured boob from the op which makes me laugh more each day, due to another colour coming out in the bruise. Have been very lucky with the way I recovered, itching mad so must be healing well.

Will be back on after appt on Tuesday, more bloody packing and planning tomorrow......lol xx

[MelMc68]

Hi ladies,

Well, I had a proper good cry yesterday evening!! We're in the process of getting all our rooms refurbished, so yesterday was the start of a massive cull of stuff we don't use/need etc. I started with clothes. There was stuff in my wardrobe I've never worn, but will now never be able to wear due to the cut, I.e. Being too low at the front or straps too thin etc. There were some tops I'd bought for Caitlin's First Holy Communion (naturally I had to buy several so I could choose which I wanted to wear!!) which I've never worn and are really lovely. I found myself putting them into the charity bag, then filling up with tears. And before I knew it, I was in floods!!

Funny how these little things can affect you... I thought I was so strong, but clearly not as strong as I thought I was. John was great. He said that he's amazed I haven't had more "wobbles" than I have. He said it was perfectly natural to feel like that and he'd be gobsmacked if I were unemotional.

So, going to carry on culling today! Hopefully it's out of my system now...

Hope all you lovely people are holding up.

Good luck for results day Sylvia.

Clare, how are you doing?

Laura, long time no catch up... You ok?

Love to all, Mel. xxx

[clk]

You sound incredibly upbeat and positive which surely helps!
I will be thinking of you on Tuesday and hoping your pathology results bring good news xxx

[sylviah]

Clare you are NOT a fraud. If you said you were sailing through this without a care in the world, then you would be a fraud....lol. Once I had my diagnosis, I started to get every pain under the sun and of course linked it the the cancerous lump  etc etc (i think most people do this, it is a natural reaction) Since my op, these pains etc have disappeared, so for me it was stress related. What I would say though is keep a notebook and pen handy and write down every little thing that happens between now and Tuesday and mention it at your appt. You will forget otherwise. Also write down any questions you think of , cos belive me you will forget them as soon as you need them.The waiting really is worse than anything else. Results good or bad release you into a plan of action and if bad you have no choice but to see that plan of action through. That may sound tough, but unfortunately it is reality and really is better than no knowing....... I am still on a high from my op and feel more positive than I have for 6 weeks, but I do have a follow up appt on Tuesday to get final pathology results. My hope is that it is all gone, but if not I will cross that bridge when I get to it. I know though that for the future, every little thing that "feels" slightly different will alarm me  and I will probably by visiting my GP more than I ever have done........ but then I only go once  a year for my review, so I suppose I have been lucky with my health so far

Take care everyone

xx

[clk]

Hi Sylvia, thank you for you lovely words.
Glad your lodger has been completely evicted and that you're feeling ok.

I've been reading all the archive posts on here... for the last few days I've had an almost constant ache towards my armpit but not sure if that's just all in my head or not! Then I remember the Dr asking me if I'd had nipple discharge. . I'd totally forgotten about it until she asked but I had noticed some a few weeks previous on the same breast. It was clear, maybe cloudy. I remember getting out of the bath and thinking 'ooh is that normal when not pregnant?' Then totally forgot about it and never noticed it again but now I'm adding it to the lump and the armpit ache and again coming up with the worst!
Tuesdays not too far away now though. . Feel such a fraud as I dont even know what my lump is yet here's you lovely ladies already been through so much. Xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Sylvia,

Glad you're not overdoing it... just looked at my post and can't believe I spelt unglamourous wrong!! Ha ha, writing is what I do for a living!!! That's also very unglamourous... I write training material... yawn...

Yes Sylvia, you can send a private message. If you click onto a person's username, the option should come up...

In the top right corner, theres a link to messages to show if you have any as well. I'll send you one now to see if you get it ok...

Hope everyone else is feeling good too. xxx

[sylviah]

Mel. lol lol lol....... yes moaning about a piddly headache, how dare I !!! Never been to Coventry, but believe me Basingstoke is no oil painting. Moving to Somerset next week, a much nicer part of the country. Well day 3 after op and still feeling good, very light admin duties. Hubbie has leather restoration work on so he is in the workshop and close by which is good. No pain and scars starting to itch so means they are healing. Taking it easy though. although still up to damn early lol.

Have a great day all and take it easy

Love Sylvia

xx

Mel is there a way to private message on here?

[MelMc68]

Hi Sylv,

Well, I'm supposed to be working right now, but instead, here I am, checking out the forum!!! So glad you're in good spirits.

I'm also glad to hear that you've returned to being able to moan about 'normal' stuff!!!!!!! YEAH, I FINALLY GET TO SAY IT TO YOU................ SILLY COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

By the way, don't overdo things... You might find the pain kicks in a bit more after a day or two, so take it easy and make the most of the opportunity to be pampered!

Sad to say Sylvia, I'm from Coventry...... terribly unglamerous!! But it's home. And it is amazing how close you can feel to people you've never met... I'm finding that more and more on here.

Love to all you lovely people. xxx

[sylviah]

Clare, hello and sorry for not saying hello properly yesterday. Hubbie had banned me from the computer until the evening so I would rest properly after the op and my mobile has a poor signal here......awake early this morning, but 6.30 is pretty normal for me, so I guess my life is now back on track. The time will go round soon Clare until your appt and no matter how much anyone says "it'll be ok" or "keep positive" it will be difficult and there will be times when it will overcome you and if you need to shout and scream then do so. The waiting game really is the pits, sorry I won't gloss it over, as it is. Try to keep busy, that does help and if you need to come on here and shout. someone will answer. Have you phoned the helpline on here yet? They are great. 4 weeks ago I was on valium and thought my life was over, oo'er what a drama queen I can be...lol.... From Monday evening just gone, my lodger/squatter(nickname for my lump) was evicted and he will never be back. as for the future? who knows? but then that applies to all life and not just bad things. I have to admit that I am really surprised in my mobility and lack of pain after the op, but I think a lot to do with my mental state of mind which is now great. Ha ha must be back to normal, have spouted on again early in the morning.....lol..... love to all you loveley ladies. Mel don't work too hard today and Laura keep those dogs out of the mud.......Clare, keep busy, I'll float in and out on here today if you need to talk.

Sylvia xx

[sylviah]

HI Mel. The delay was so long yesterday, poor hubbie went into panic mode when he phoned at 3pm and they said I was not back to the ward yet. I only went down at 2pm and remember looking at the clock 2.20pm as they put me out, Not bad then getting home for 9.30pm. I did think about posting, but really wanted a nice sandwich, coffee and bed.

They have a super duper machine in Basingstoke hospital for checking the nodes whilst you are out for the count. I had been told that if all the nodes had been taken out due to spread I would have a drain under my armpit............woke up, looked straight under my gown and shouted yeahhhhhhh while I was still under there. Bought a few nurses running I must admit and I just shouted "no spread" to which the consultant came round the corner laughing as he must had heard me and said completely right Sylvia, you remembered what to look for.....we both laughed and I went back to sleep.........had a quick rest, then nagged them to get me back to the ward so I could phone Neil. Most of it is a bit of a blur now, but looking at my phone I must have phoned, texted 10 people within 5 minutes....a world record for me and my phone...... Had a good day though today, my arm is more mobile than I though it would be and the pain is minimal, just sore and a bit achey. Managed to blow dry my own hair and felt like putting make up on. Mel I have no ideas where you are from, but feel like you are so close at time. This will make you laugh, I did think about the silly cow comment as I had had a headache from about 10.30am and was moaning like hell about it..........lol lol .....xxxx

[MelMc68]

Hey Sylvia, ohhhhhhhhhhh, thank God you posted today!! I've been thinking about you all day waiting for news! I was really unable to concentrate at work. But then, whilst I was cooking tea, I thought about you again... Then the phone went off with the sound for email, and I thought "That's Sylvia!" And it was!!

I'm sooooooo happy you're feeling well, if a bit tired, which is to be expected. I'm go smacked you've found out about the nodes so soon! I had to wait the week out for that! But, it's brilliant news that there's no spread! 😃

Glad your other half is doing the Florence Nightingale bit! When I came home from hospital, my other half got a bit p****d. I think he was on an emotional roller coaster. Yeah, men!!!

I'm not sure what words you thought of as they put you to sleep! Probably "that silly cow's been moaning about her neck all week!"!!! Hopefully something else! But, glad those words helped.

Being sent back to the ward is a good sign! Shows you were feisty enough to cope!

So happy for you Sylvia. There are a few people on this forum that I feel close to. And you (and Laura) are the main ones. xxxxxxxxx

[pippadog]

Hi Sylviah

The lodgers well and truly bloody gone yeah ! So good about your nodes as well. You sound really good to be able to type so soon after your op. I think you deserve tons of carbs and loads of chocolate as well. Also flowers lol.

Nice to know you are being pampered. Bug hugs and love matey.

Laura

xxx 

[sylviah]

Hi Everyone, lodger/squatter fully evicted and no spread to the nodes........ Should have had op at 11am yesterday, but lady before had a few problems so I didn't get seen to until 2.30pm, hence did not get home until 9ish and went straight to bed. (or I would have posted) Feeling ok today, a bit weak, but that is to be expected. Mentally I feel great...... back for follow up next Tuesday to see consultant. Hubbie has turned out to be a great nurse. Oops dinner ready cooked by hubbie of course, may be back later on or tomorrow.

Mel, i thought of your words just as they put me out.........thank you....all those carbs worked aswell, came round and drove them mad, so they just sent me straight back to the ward.......... xxxx

[clk]

Sylvia, I do hope you're feeling ok too xxx

[clk]

Thank you Mel. A week today and I will hopefully know something. .. just need to try and keep my mind busy for the week!
Hope you are feeling ok xxx

[MelMc68]

Hey Sylvia,

Hoping you're through the op ok, and are now relaxing at home. I hope the anaesthetic wasn't awful, and those carbs have helped! Thinking of you honey. Hope to hear from you soon. Love Mel. xxxxxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Clare,

You can never be too cautious me thinks! Glad your daughter was good too. In the meantime, stay cool, when you can. Explode, if you need to. Punch a pillow, if it helps. Mostly, occupy yourself. We all have different coping strategies... Do whatever you need to do my lovely.

Keep us posted. Mel. xxx

[clk]

Regardless of the clinic findings it will surely be a sign for me to be more breast aware!
Seems your dream was a significant sign for you.

My eldest daughter was referred a couple of years ago when she was 18 with several symptoms and she too seemed laid back and took it all in her stride. It turned out to be just hormonal but I did remind her the other day to make sure she regularly checks herself (without letting on about my lump as I've only told my hubby and sister)

Great news about your Daughter . I imagine she is incredibly thorough with her checks after what you're going through.

Clare xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Clare,

It's funny how we find these things... I found my lump after having a weird dream... It was way later that I finally pieced the dream together to realise (at least for me) that it was some kind of sign. I won't go into the detail, but the bit of the dream that woke me up was when I looked down. I was wearing a vest top (in the dream) and I looked down to see a big, yellow pustule-type boil on my right breast, on the surface of the skin. That made me wake up with a bit of a shock.

Next thing, I turned over in bed, brushed my hand against my left breast and felt the lump. Because of the dream, I thought I might still be asleep, so decided to check it in the morning. And there it was, as plain as the nose on my face!

I have always checked myself, but I wouldn't have found this if I'd checked as usual, in the shower. It wasn't prominent until I lay down on my side... I'm a big believer in fate, mainly because of that experience. There were a few more "coincidences" in my case as well.

One day, I might well write down "the dream" because it was so uncanny and just too many so called coincidences for them to be JUST coincidence!!

By the way, this doesn't mean to indicate your lump will be cancerous!! My daughter, only a few weeks ago, was at her mate's house. Her friend asked about me, and said to my daughter that she'd never ever checked herself, as she didn't know how to... Ashleigh (my eldest) started to show her... Then found a lump herself. She went to see doc and because of my history, she got a quick referral. Long story short, there were two new lumps and two she'd already got checked a couple of years before. All fibroadenomas.

I think I worry about my girl more than she does! She's very 'whatever will be will be' in her mindset. A good way to be, cos she doesn't really worry about anything!!

So, perhaps the TV programme was a sign for you to make sure you check yourself, just like Ashleigh's mate prompted her check... Either way, it's a good job you found it and went to get checked straight away. That can only ever be a positive thing.

Take care. Mel. xxx

[clk]

Thank you so much Mel & Laura for taking the time to reply.
Here I am moaning about waiting 2 weeks when you have until July to wait! I feel I've been unable to do anything productive since finding the lump and find myself here reading all the posts.

I've googled a little (why do we instantly head for google?!) but most of my reading has been here.

I keep thinking its some kind of omen, a sign maybe. .. I'd been pottering around the home with the tv on for background noise when I heard they were showing how to self examine correctly. I watched, realising I'd never checked myself that way before (very occasionally I would prod around) so did a thorough examination there and then. I would never have found the lump otherwise as it appears deep .

[pippadog]

Hi Clare

Hugs to you matey. I know exactly how you feel and the wait is dreadful. Somehow I feel my experience with this isn't over yet. But I'm just taking each day as it comes until July.

The waiting for tests and results is awful and I don't really think the medical profession takes into consideration the turmoil of the wait. Like I've said before, you often feel everythings spiralling out of control. However, like the wonderful Mel has said keep busy (even if its cleaning lol) and absolutely no googling. You could drive yourself mad reading those bloddy websites.

Bigs hugs, we are with you all the way.

Love

Laura

xxx

[MelMc68]

Hi Clare,

I'm glad you've stumbled across this thread, and that is has helped. You're absolutely right! You will bounce between good and bad emotions, you will go from thinking it's definitely cancer to then thinking it's absolutely nothing to worry about... You have boarded this nasty roller coaster.

Waiting for appointments, tests and results is most definitely the hardest part of the whole thing, whatever your lump turns out to be. I'm sure if you've read through this thread, you will have picked that up already! The awful waiting game is truly the hardest part, so bear that in mind. I won't repeat stuff you will have already read, but try and keep your mind occupied as much as possible, and don't Google!!!! That's a definite no-no!

Take each day as it comes, don't be afraid to let your emotions out, and expect to go through the full range of emotions... then it won't be a shock.

Keep in touch and let us know if there's anything we can do to help while you're in the 'waiting room'. Love Mel. xxx