Hi Jackie, I'm pleased there wasn't anything wrong when you saw your BCN. When do you have the other side done?
Walking the old lad out was wonderful, he is a saint, sparkles when asked and plods when needed, though he's been known to buck beginners off! My daughter's Welsh D would rather trot everywhere, having been driven for years before being broken to ride, but even she walked quietly today. They all had their tails washed, though they'll look as bad tomorrow. I start Epi on 11 April, a week Friday, absolutely dreading it and keep wanting to opt out, but can't justify declining it to my kids and the rest of my family. I'm scared of the continuing inability to function, as much as I am of the side effects. 16 year old is really sulking about having more than usual to do, so much that I can't trust her to do anything properly, and it's getting worse during these holidays as the elder, who works full time, expects youngest to do more. Mediating between sisters is not what I want to be doing, so if I can ride out a bit it'll help keep me sane!
I have just posted a reply to you on the other thread.
My BCN and surgeon were quite happy when I saw them and said nothing was untoward with my implant. I feared it had somehow 'come away' because thats how it felt. I have been prescribed Pregablin for nerve pain, but they zonk me out so only take them if I really have to. I wasnt particularly given any advice whether to do more/less exercise.
Well done you going for a ride, I havn't been brave enough yet, although I dont have anything quiet to ride, and some horrible roads around us.
Whe do you start your chemo? How do you feel about it?
Bye for now.
Four weeks post-surgery and today I went for a ride with my eldest! My 'golden boy' is a quiet lad, happy just to walk up to the next village and back, a couple of miles each way. He lined up for me to mount from the stile outside the barn, as usual, but was a bit confused that I had to get off the same way - my daughter held him still so I could step off him. I didn't feel up to trotting, a few steps to go into single file for a car to pass us was more than enough. Bliss being on him again, fat and moulting beastie. I had thought I'd have to do evening stables for the first time yesterday, luckily my daughter got home in daylight and did everything, but looking round the barn today I felt a bout of 'tidy-itis' coming on, so she ushered me indoors. The poor girls have had to take on a lot of extra work with me out of action. Light evenings now so we'll go out when she's home from work tomorrow... make the most of it before chemo kicks in! Hope you are ok Jackie and your implant isn't troubling you any more. Lyn xxx
Hi Jackie, did you see your BCN today? What does she think has happened - and what are you advised to do? Rest more, or exercise more gently? How's it feeling today?
I got an outline of the recommended treatment plan, to include chemo, rads and tamoxifen, meeting the oncologist on Saturday for him to 'sell' the idea. I'm reeling, not at all convinced I want to play this game any more.
Eldest has gone away until Sat eve and I've just reminded youngest she has to be up an hour earlier to do the ponies before school - eldest usually does mornings - as I'm as much use as a chocolate teapot just now. How not to score Brownie points! Lyn xx
Hi again Lyn
You sound like you just want to be left alone. No more questioning, prodding and all the rest. I am guessing you do not feel like sleep either?
It must be catching, I have had a really sill row with my OH tonight, over nowt!
Its great how the horses keep you going and can lift your spirits. It is a shame your daughter is missing out this Easter, I'm sure she understands.
Thinking of you tomorrow, please let us know how you get on.
This is 2 1/2 weeks post-op and I should get results and treatment plan tomorrow pm - I'm a bit uptight and fidgety, already fed up with the sore and stiff left arm, the big knickers and corset supporting the tummy scar and the high-impact sports bra supporting the mutilated chest... just generally fed up and hostile to the idea of ANY treatment.
It takes a while for overdoing it to show, doesn't it? I did some arm exercises yesterday pm, lying flat and trying to lift a stick held in both hands above my head - couldn't get it right up but was quite pleased with myself for trying, then in the evening my tum felt as if I was having mild contractions as if in labour, which has continued every time I go from sitting to standing. The heaviest thing I've lifted on that side is the phone so I'm sure it's the exercises that did it. Lucky you getting out to a show, my youngest will be missing everything during the Easter hols (so she'll just have to revise for her GCSEs instead). Good luck with the BCN, what a long journey - mine's 20 minutes by car and that's far enough.
Hopefully your self preservation will make them realise and appreciate how much you usually do. Stick to your guns!!!
I am 8 weeks post op now and this weekend my daughter competed and I played groom. It was the most cold and wet day I have known. I think I possibly overdid things and now feel very tight and achey. My implant feels like it weighs a ton! I spoke to the BCN today and she wants me to see her in clinic tomorrow which is an 80 mile trip. So serves me right really!
How are you feeling today?
Thanks Jackie, I am really trying not to feel guilty but I'm sure my daughters interpret my self-preservation as lack of commitment! I did turn the outside tap on today to refill the field water but didn't get close enough to be head-butted over the fence! We have three coming in at night and one out 24/7 so doing them doesn't really take too long. The girls aren't great at forward thinking, so are inclined to announce we've run out of something rather than working out there isn't enough to last until the weekend, eldest isn't home in time to get to the feed shop and as I can't drive yet I need a bit of notice to organise delivery, or for someone else to go.
Not so long ago - before all this - I was ranting about talking to brick walls, something must have been done sloppily or not at all, and straight-faced, my youngest memorably said, "We don't need to think, you do that", and I snapped that they should jolly well grow up and start thinking as I wouldn't always be around to do it. How prophetic...
Glad you are back home, hope you were well looked after in hospital.
Do not be ashamed to say you have only looked out the window. Please take things easy, I wouldn't attempt rugs so soon. I know everyone is different, but I left it quite a few weeks before I did anything around the yard. If you are there you will be tempted to try things and you may regret it. I have found it doesn't hurt at the time, but you will feel it the next day if you have overdone it.
My 18 year old has been bringing in, turning out all 5 horses on our yard. Give yourself time.
Hi to all the horsey girls!
I came home after the last drains were removed on Tuesday, 11 days after left mast/immediate DIEP recon, and am ashamed to say that so far, I've only looked at ours from the window. My real discomfort is the underarm - the recon breast, and 'tucked' tummy, are slightly sore but quite numb. I'm letting my daughters do everything - 21 year old does mornings, 16 year old does evenings. The elder is away for a couple of days at the end of next week so it would help if I can do something useful by then, will keep doing the stretching exercises but I'm not progressing as quickly as I'd hoped with reaching up high. Daughter will have to turn out and bring in, and perhaps as I'm right-handed I can at least do rugs!
Thanks for getting back to me. I am sorry it has gone so wrong for you. I suppose the big difference between us is, my op was done using 'healthy' tissue that has not had previous surgery.
Is there a chance of surgery for you to correct the position of your implants, or even have the whole thing reversed, if you chose to do so?
One thing we do have in common is the apparent lack of physio, or even just advice on the subject. I have gleaned far more information on this forum regarding pain, movement, what bra to wear and when...... the list goes on! LD recon was certainly the only choice made available to me.
I hope you soon find a big improvement. I have suffered with a frozen shoulder in the past and I know how debilitating it can be.
Bye for now.
Technically it wasn't a success because there wasn't enough of me and also because my tissue was like concrete on my sternum and a very difficult operation. When I had the expanders removed, dreadful things, there were other improvements to be made and the concrete tissue prevented this so I have the silicon implants too far away from one another and not quite sitting at the same height. On one side (the LD side) the back muscle is pulling very hard back to the point where I feel I will burst and I am told this will not improve.
Over and above all that, due to omission (neglect?) at the hospital with regards to physiotherapy after the op, I now have a frozen shoulder which could have been avoided and which has now disabled me to some extent until I get a Manipulation Under Anaesthetic, having tried plain physio and it not having worked. I know you could argue I've been unlucky, esp wrt the frozen shoulder but the LD flap has its limits but seems to be the only options for more slender ladies.
Anyway, glad yours has worked out.
No need to apologise, get it all off your chest!!!! Maybe a good gallop would do you more good than jumping while you are stroppy. LOL
Why don't you post a thread asking for anyone in your area who has had recon to get in touch with you and perhaps meet up. I was put in touch with a local lady and although we only chatted over the phone, it helped me make the decision to go ahead with the recon. I have met with a lady in your situation and showed her my new boob and she was pleasantly surprised. I was only 4 weeks post op!!!
You could also look at the Maidstone Breast Clinic website, there are some excellent pictures on there. Just put any of those words in your search engine and it should come up. If not send me a private message.
I am off to my first Point to Point meet of the year (watching I hasten to add) tomorrow. Hoping for sunshine.
Good luck in your decision.
Hi Jacqc and Jacks and to all the other horsey ladies.
Jacqc I finished my chemo in the end of 05 or was it the begining of 06 mmmmm (would have to ask my Mum what date exactly as she has it written down along with all the other relevant dates LOL, I am sure I probablly should remember myself but the dates just dont seem to stick at all with me except the mastectomy one which was 22nd April 05)
I went to see my Breast care nurse today for my new prosthesis, I got a stick on one this time thinking it may be the answer to all my dilemma's without resorting to recon. Came home and had to hold back a tear or two or 3. I hate those appointments, I suppose it makes me face the fact that I am 32DD on one side and totally flat on the other. The 32 part makes it so hard to get anything to fit, Bras, swimsuits anything really. Most things are made from 34 upwards gggrrrrrrrrr. If they had said there and then we can fit you in now for your recon I would have said yes I don't care about pain or time out from horses just do it. I was actually supposed to have had the recon by now as I was due to have it August 07 but I bottled out and besides I had just moved to Ireland in May 07 so things were kind of up in the air.
I don't want the op done here in Ireland at all (won't go into that) I am just hoping that if I do decide to go for it that my old Surgeon Mr Juma from the Wirral in England will be able to do it as he said before I left that he would If I wanted him too. I don't think he thought I would put it off for this long though oop's!!
Maybe its just my experience with all this, but why is there so little help and advice out there with the whole recon thing. How do I know that my surgeon will do a good job and that his last job wasn't being a foot doctor or something LOL.. I did ask to see pics of previous patients of his but he said he doesn't show people as it may give them a higher expectation for themselves, what did he mean by that, of course we have high expectations its our body and we have to look at it everyday.
Sorry I am really on one today after seeing the breast nurse I will give my keyboard a well earned rest.
Maybe I should throw myself at a few jumps while I am in such a stroppy mood, maybe that would help with the whole learning to jump all over again thing LOL.
Hugs and happy riding to you all and sorry for the rather large post !! Its just one of those days.
I am 6 weeks post op now (mast & back muscle recon with implant), I havn't ridden yet since my op but I am feeling more and more able to do stuff round the yard. I have found the last couple of weeks a real improvement and I feel I could ride now if I wanted to. I am chosing not to out of pure lazziness. My daughter exercises our mare and I am quite happy to let her do it all. I know what you mean about confidence fading and I think it just takes time. I am being very 'kind' to myself and not pressuring myself in anyway and just waiting for the time to feel right before I do anything. I am dreading going back to work for exactly the same reason, and worry that I will never feel ready to go back.
As for all the other questions on your list, speaking from my own experience, I do not think you need to worry about strength and movement. Just reading what Mandy has written above proves it. As for how painful or uncomfortable it is, you soon forget. I am waiting to go in for my right side mast and recon and I have forgotten already what it was like.
How long ago did you finish your chemo?
The new boob is easy and the confidence you just need to give time and be easy on yourself.
Hi I'm another horsey LD recon lady. I had mine done 4 years ago and would have really appreciated a good natter with like minded folk at the time! I have not had any problems with handling the horses or riding but I did knock some fencing stakes in at christmas! Unfortunately I think I might have done myself a bit of damage lfting the sledge hammer above shoulder height!!!!!!!!
I have more problems with lifting the 4pt milk container now!
Good luck Neenie I am sure your confidence will come back in time.
Its lovely to be able to talk to other horse crazy ladies wanting or have had a new boob or 2.
I am considering going down the recon route myself using the muscle from my back and an implant but am so scared on how it may effect my time with my horses etc, I have 2 horses 16 h gelding and a little 11h mare. The chemo seemed to have stolen my confidence in wheel barrow loads and I find myslef starting riding from the beginging almost again so I really dont want a big break away form riding, I never used to be a nervous at all around them or on them but now I find I am nervous about everything.
I wonder how it will effect my strength and movement, how it will look, how painful might it be, how long will it take me to recover, how long it will be before I can take my own riding boots off the list goes on and on !!!!!!!
I really want a new boob and my confidence back please!!!
Happy riding xx
Horses and life at the farm definitely help keep you sane. And agree with the broke bit. i used to have 3 up until 2 years ago. Lost them all sadly within 1 year of each other. Only have the 1 now and am no better off!!!
Hi Palomin098 & horsey girls,
Went to see onc last friday and said i had been pulled about by the horses, you could actually see swelling near my armpit. She said all felt perfectly ok & it could take a year after the end of radiotherapy (finished Nov 07) for all the tissues etc to settle down, even though I only had a lumpectomy (March 07) she said that although the scar is small alot of work went on inside. She then asked if I'd had my first mammogram after all the treatment, i said no, she said go and have one now & i will give you the results straight away (private medical with work, thank god). Anyway she said all looks ok and mammo looks clear. So not quite panicking so much (well just a bit).
Am now leading them separately, and have put the little one in a controller headcoller that you can give a quick tug & puts a little pressure to the poll, also take a carrot with me!!
I agree having horses definately keeps you sane (and broke!!).
Best wishes to you all
You will get there. Of course you will. i got a lot of cording over the last few weeks and had physio. But as i went back to work was difficult to get the time off to attend appointments. As I was at the computer i did stretches waiting for pages to load. lifting my arm up and stretching it until it just hurt a little and I kept doing this time and time again. Then the same out to the side etc. I now 2 weeks later have more or less full use. Just a few little pulls in my back but i am working on these now. Keep up the good work and will speak to you soon. I start my chemo on Monday. Uggggggggggggggggg
I agree wholeheartedly, I am new on this journey but in times of stress over the years I have often felt that my old boy is the reason I wake up each day.
Your mare sounds a lovely type and this will be a fun summer. It's interesting to trace their breeding back - we had a 13.2 TB eventing pony who traced back through his show pony sire to the Darley Arabian, with plenty of Welsh and Arab, and even a Hackney on the dam's side! The Irish boy is of unknown breeding (though behaviourally the best by far, unlike the Welshies!!) Mine are under 15hh but when I worked in event yards I used to put a chifney on to lead tall TBs that wouldn't keep four legs on the ground. After this surgery I don't think I'd even get a headcollar on a big one! Daughters will just have to do it all
If you think they are going to yank leading to a field, just wrap the lead rope round the nose then if they pull you have move leverage. My youngster is 16hh and is 3 in April thi syear. She is a bay tobiano coloured sports horse. Can trace her history back to 1635 and related to Godolphin Arabian etc. There is also a shetland pony in there somewhere too!!! Hope to have general fun on her, local shows, bit of dressage and some jumping (great grandad was a jumper horses not mine!!!) Think the horses keep you having some sanity about this whole breast cancer journey.
Hmm, I have one that dances and spooks on the end of the lead rope, and one that lags back, trying to snatch mouthfuls of the MUCH better grass this side of the gate! Then one that leads perfectly (and one that stays out all year). I'll have to do them one at a time and only lead with the good arm! At least the field is close to the stables. Haven't tried doing rugs with one hand...
Jane, good luck with the onc on Friday, let us know how you get on. How soon after your op did you ride again?
I had a lumpectomy in Feb 2007 and carried on riding my gelding and even competed him at dressage. Last July for some strange reason i bought a 2 year old coloured gelding. When they came in at nights (lived out all summer ) i was leading both of them together to turn out & the older horse was marching forward while the youngster was dragging behind. What i am trying to say is i now have a pain in my boob now & under the arm because i have been 'yanked'. I am seeing onc on friday so will see what they say. But am panicking now!!
I'd be interested to hear what peoples experiences are with riding. My surgeon said the problem would be a horse suddenly pulling, like yanking, he said this is something to be REALLY careful, because of tearing! This has left me worried, I'm doing everything else, like riding a motorbike now and again, yanking tree/bushes when chopping them down etc. But I am concerned about the 'yanking' because you can ever know when a horse is going to pull suddenly. I think yes if you're holding them and they mess about, let go, but you need to be in control on top!
If any of you out there are happily riding, particularly on strong horses it'd be good to hear.
I'm finding mucking out is slower this week with the sore bit after SLN last Weds, and we're on hemp bedding which is usually really quick. Trying to persuade my daughters to leave the ponies out so nobody has to lug bales of bedding around, but there is a lot of mud and not much grass yet, so they don't want to. At least the days are getting longer so it's easier for the elder to do her pony before going to work, and the younger to do hers after school. Mine can stay out even if the mares don't. Mandy, my geldings are 32 and 26, the mares are 17 and 16. We have always tended to collect cast-offs and there's something very special about oldies, isn't there? Good luck with your youngster, what an exciting project. What type is she, and how big will she be?
jacqu. I have found this times reconstruction a lot easier to manage previous "normal" jobs with. As I said there is no pulling at all lifting haynets, buckets of water and am only now (7 weeks post surgery and back to work full time and driving). Still careful ie if the horse pratted about i would let go as don't want to damage myself. At first mucking out was ok, but tossing the muck in the barrow hurt, but now no probs. Luckily the daughter will be the one getting on the horse not me. Been there done that. Lost my old pony last year after 27 years of ownership and I broke her in. And also lost last year my pony who was aged 40. So remind me why I bought a 9 month old horse (now nearly 3) again please!!!!!!!! But will be worth it in the end. I hope.
Hi Lyn & Mandy.
Glad you managed to get out for a walk Lyn. You must make going out for some rides this week a priority, especially if this nice spring weather continues.
Over the last week the movement in my arm has improved drastically (week 4) I have had surgery on my left side and I am wondering if movement will be quicker next time due to being right handed. Mandy may be able to relate to this having had both sides now recon'd. When I first read your experience I felt like I must be a little too cautious, but if I continue to improve at this rate, then by week 7 I hope I will be doing all the jobs you are now managing. Trouble is, as soon as that happens I will be going back in for other side.
Running was painful only at the front, I immagine it was due to movement of the implant. I had a very heavy, dragging sensation. It probably didnt help falling down the stairs 2 weeks after my op!
All the best for your op this week Lynn. Let us know how you get on. Mandy, I hope the backing goes well this year, I would love to bring on a youngster but I don't think I have the patience.
Bye for now.
I have a horse. Had breast cancer 5 years ago with reconstruction from my back. Rode a month after surgery. Mounted okay. Dismounting had to do it cowboy style. Leg over neck and slide down. Pulled a bit carrying buckets of water. Was okay with sacks of feed and bales. Was dx with cancer again in other breast last November. Had surgery with recon from back again on other side in Jan this year. 7 weeks post surgery and I can groom, muck out, carry buckets of water a lot easier this time and with no where near as much pulling. Easily lift 5kg nets. Not tried sacks of feed or bales yet. Can't ride my horse as she is only 2. Rising 3 in April and backing this year. So that should be fun!!! Good luck.
I walked the old boy out today for the first time since SLN biopsy on Weds and didn't feel like going any faster, and this is before the big op so he is going to have a very lazy spring - I'm glad I didn't clip him again at Christmas. I must do some longer rides this week or I'll kick myself. He's only 14.2 and it's still a long way down if I'm stiff - though usually it's my knees that are sore!
Do you have reasonable movement in your arm, and was the pain on running very specific or generally around the whole area? I suppose even leading is going to be tricky for a while. It may be worth asking your surgeon specifically about riding. It's hard to think of a way of making it any easier!
Thanks for your reply.
I have had my LD on the left side and I am going back in for the other side soon (prophylactic). I havn't asked my surgeon about riding specifically, whenever I ask about any kind of activity I am usually told to do whatever I feel comfortable with. Yesterday I got caught out crossing the road and gently ran the last few steps. I was shocked how painful it was and it felt like the implant must weigh as much as a sack of potatoes, although mine are not very big either.
I hadn't actually thought of dismounting and my mare is 16hh so it seems a long way down now! After trying to run yesterday I can now see trotting is going to be the most difficult. I think I will leave it much longer than I hoped and let my daughter do the exercising.
Good luck with your op next week and do not rush to do the lifting round the yard. I havn't even picked up a broom in 4 weeks!
Good luck Jackie, I'm having mast and immed recon from tummy next week and have made a huge fuss about needing to lift bales and buckets! I hope you'll be riding soon, let us know how you get on. Mine aren't big beasts but I'm guessing the hardest part will be dismounting? At home we have a stile the right height to be able to mount without using stirrups and should be able to dismount the same way, but anywhere else could be a bit of a challenge!xx
Which side did you have your LD surgery? Did the surgeon say anything specific about riding?
Has anyone experience of riding after LD recon? How long? Any problems or limmitations?
I am 4 weeks post op and I am staying away from my horse at the moment.
Keen to hear from others.