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How frightening it is to be told.

12 REPLIES 12
Mand
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Dearest Jacqui - you are such a strong woman like many others here. We are going to get through this, no matter what. We have been through so so much. I can't lie, I have been a bit up and down. I know Tuesday is yet another challenge but once you have test results, treatment plan you can start to deal with the next plan. I know I am ahead of you so perhaps I can help you. That would help me. I'm here for you sweetie.

Everything for me has happened so fast which in a way is good but also not given me a lot of time to get my head straight.

I am now seeing my oncologist in London tomorrow. Another milestone and challenge.

I do understand how you feel and how hard all this is.

Let's think of this time next year when we will be so so totally rid of this and hopefully have our life's back on track.

We so so deserve some pampering time. All our friends and family are also dealing with this with us. We shall celebrate with them all and know (as I know now), how so so lucky we are.

Lots and lots of love to you sweetie. Any time - if you want to let off steam. I'm and every other lady here is going to be here for you.

If it helps - I can give you my mobile number in PM. Just someone that you can talk to if you feel that might help.

Mands xxx
ashbymeadow
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Hi

thanks for your support.

I did have 2 nodes removed as well as lumpectomy.Boob been sore but doing recommended exercises for drainage and they really do help.Can feel liquid movement when done about 6 minutes.Get all results next Tuesday.Still a positive day so we are on the mend but still the dread for next week .The bombshell news we have now experienced so know there could/maybe more yet.Again we have dealt with the first news so can cope if necessary.

I know the hair feeling...mine is/was never greasy had mine washed twice and a friend coming to do it today.

Glad you thinking re work.Dont rush too much no need .Concentrate on christmas my cards on coffee table but staring at me!!! Will get cracking soon on the C  occasion soon.November for us both and many others has been a blur and now its almost gone...Keep smiling and you sound stronger and facing what life is offering you.Grab it with both hands and look ahead.

Jacqui

Mand
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Thanks Jacqui, I'm wishing you a speedy recovery from the surgery. Yes, still some pain and discomfort but I feel a bit more normal now.

Although not advised to drive for 2 weeks I did actually drive to the hospital yesterday as it is so far from me and I didn't have anyone to drive me. It was okay - I can't say I could do a lap round a race circuit but it was alright driving. That helped enormously getting out and being around others!

I have to go back next week and see another consultant re the chemo and radiotherapy. They are hoping that the consultant will delay the start of treatment until after Christmas. That would be a huge relief and I'll be able to enjoy Christmas with my boys. If they were left to cooking our Christmas dinner we would end up in hospital with food poisoning lol !!!!

Did you have the biopsy on lymph nodes at same time of lumpectomy? Or did you have all the lymph nodes removed? It's sounding like you just had the biopsy as it is only when you have all the lymph nodes removed that you have the drains.

I know the waiting is the worst out of all this. Well it is for me. Once you get your results on the 10th you can start to deal with the next stage and get your head round it.

I'm hoping to go back to the office before Christmas as I need some normality back in my life and I'm not a stay at home person. This should have happened in the summer when we could have been enjoying the sunshine in the garden lol.

Keep in touch with me and let me know how you're doing. Sounds like you are getting there as we all have to. We can only to forwards now and were closer to the end of this nightmare than we were when we received the diagnosis.

Try and have some ME time and pamper yourself - we deserve it. I haven't been able to wash my hair for a week!!!! Thomas my eldest is a hairdresser so I'm going down to his salon this afternoon to have my hair done. Bless him. I know it will make him feel better knowing he can help me in some way.

Hair - I've already decided that I am going to get Thomas to shave my head when I begin treatment. I've got long blonde hair and I couldn't cope with the trauma of it falling out. I don't fancy the sound of the cold cap treatment and it doesn't always work. I'm hoping my face is pretty enough to take the new look lol lol lol. I don't fancy a wig but I do know I suit hats so I'll be tying on new hats when I next go shopping lol.

This site has so so much helped me. I've had so much support and it has really kept me grounded when I feel alone.

Don't over do it with the housework and make sure you arrange a bit of pampering sweetie.

Thinking of you and all you other ladies here.

Xxx
ashbymeadow
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Hi Mands

Just read your treatment.You at least know.We had surgery same day but i still have 5 days yet to hear.In your treatment think positive even thnough not you/we would want with both chemo plus radiotherapy and tablets this will be truely zapped no half way there.so turn this outcome into a positive and better to get it all over now.You will get through this fine.We are survivors .

I too feel that this is happening to someone else.No doubt our bodies way of protecting us from the news we didnt want.By the time we are able to reflect it will be easier.Hope that makes sence.

My boob /underarm still very sore.Feels like glass under my skin.Planning light housework today to get it moving more.Went for walk yesterday so feeling more normal now.

Do hope that after your hiccup yesterday in a day or two you will be on trck once again

Jacqui

Mand
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Hi Jacqui/ashby

I'm glad to hear you're getting on after surgery. My dressing was left on a week nearly which is normal so don't worry. As long as you try to keep it dry and clean. The wound will have something over it to protect it so don't worry but if you're concerned call your BCN.

Yes I went back to the consultant yesterday post op 6 days. It was good and bad news really. The tumour was larger than expected 3cms so they took 5cms out! It was a bit of a shocker - I haven't looked at my boob totally yet, I can't bring myself to do that yet. Unfortunately I'm going to need reconstructive surgery at some point. The good news is that it doesn't look to bad with my bra on.

Then the next bit of news - I thought it was going to be either chemo or radiotherapy. I was dreading chemo but again unfortunately I need both chemo and radiotherapy and drugs for 10 years. I'm okay, just relieved I know the next bit now and can start to deal with it.

The BCN said I was in denial the way I was coping with it all and she's probably right!! I need to remain strong and positive to deal with my boys and family.

I know I'm going to be very ill with the treatment but I'll get there.

I'm lucky and thankful that I haven't had to have a mastectomy and greatful that they are doing everything possible get rid of any lingering cancer cells or ensuring I don't have a recurrence.

Hope all you ladies are doing well after surgery or treatment and sending you all a massive hug and lots of love.

Mands xxx
ashbymeadow
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Hi Mandi

Thinking of you tomorrow.were you getting your results from your op?

My dressings all went fine.Boob sore now trying hard to get arm moving to be rid of the fluid .I didnt have drains even though told i would.Do hope i can be rid of this fluid.Was awake at 1am so did excercises even then..very consious of the fluid problem.Did you have drains?

 

ashbymeadow
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

went to get my dressings changed .They just changed the node dressings lefft the wound one as it was.

Now no appts till next Tuesday for results and dressings unless arm problems.

Feeling positive today hope that feeling!!! has gone for a few days.

Let me know how you get on tomorrow?

Jacqui

Mand
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Hi ashby. How are you doing? I think you were due to go to the hospital today? Let me know how you get on. I go tomorrow so we are in the same boat and it is good to share how we're getting on and feeling. Lots of love lovely. Mand xxx
ashbymeadow
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Yes so scarey the last thing us women want to hear..but so very common.My only consolation is because of how common the DRS should know how to treat us with all their practice.

I had my op last Thursday not a good dayAnd lots of small cockups which shot my stress levels all out of control.

Had op midday.Sent home 7.45pm.Was stressed again as never saw a trained nurse or Dr after op.I have phoned hospital today for my next instructions and go 10.30 tomorrow then results next Tuesday will be another dreaded day.

Hope you now calm

 

ashbymeadow
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

well done.by being strong you now feel in control .It is so hard to accept the news i was told 13/11/13.now had my op 4 days ago and get results next Tuesday....dreading that day as possible if bad results..more surgery...x
Mand
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Hi Marie,

Mand here. I was told diagnosis on the 13 Nov. I have grade 3 invasive ductal cancer.

I still feel like this is happening to someone else and not me!

I had surgery on Thursday - lumpectomy and biopsy on LNs. LNs clear! My tumour is or was about 2cms.

Now waiting for consultants appointment on Wednesday for full test results and what further surgery if needed or treatment I may need.

It is the waiting that is the hardest. Once you have the facts you can start dealing with it and start to prepare yourself.

It is an absolute roller coaster of your emotions.

Hard on your loved ones.

Wishing and sending you lots of strength and love.

Mand xxx
Janet_BCC
Member

Re: How frightening it is to be told.

Dear mariefrancoise,

 

Welcome to the BCC forum.  I am pleased to hear that you have found some of the information helpful.  I'm sure you will also find support from fellow members.

 

You could also contact our Helpline for information and support.  The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays.  The number is 0808 800 6000

 

Very best wishes

 

Janet

BCC Moderator

Guest user
Not applicable

How frightening it is to be told.

Hi, I was given the news on the 11/11 that I had breast cancers 1 invasive lump and 1 non invasive but clear lymph glandls, shocked to hear that I would have to have a mastectomy, nothing the consultant said made sense, 30mins later came out completely confused, distrusting in the consultant who was going to operate.

The horrendeous feeling in the pit in my stomach!! Something told me to question the nurse, is this normal feeling? Are you not accepting because you don't like the news?

Then I did something I have never done before made a snap decision and asked for another appointment and consultant,and told the nurse I would not accept the treatment until I had had time to think.

 The nurse sensed I wouldn't be moved told me to think about it and she would try as" I had Choices of Care".

My GP was wonderful immediately referred me to another hospital and consultant. That is still being processed.

The nurse true to her word- I was recalled within days and saw another surgeon who took the time showed me where the cancer was on my breast, with explanation of why a mastectomy would be necessary, all about the reconstruction, my aftercare, answered the long list of questions my children had prepared and gave me hope and made me smile. (A lot of the care offered to me contradicted the previous consultant, which reassured my family that I was right to listen to myself)

Your site has really helped me with information.

I am at the beginning....I am so frightened, but by being so honest about how I felt I can see that it has helped me to cope a little better, understand my condition and learn to help myself with amazing people around me.