Glad you're home Ali. First one down now!
Just had a giggle over people misreading booze for snooze - I just read stru's comment about Charlo being keen on a tipple, as Charlo's keen on a nipple!!! Well it would be topical!
i know what you all mean about the Christmas bubble - January always feels a bit dull after Christmas and I suppose we all have a reason to feel more blue than usual (and no, not talking blue boobs!)!.
I Work in a primary school, and they are back tomorrow, but I had a phone chat with the gp's surgery on Friday and they have given me another sick note. I have decided not to work during my radiotherapy, as the hospital journey is a two hour round trip, and that's without traffic. My job is also very full on, and can be quite stressful at times, and emotionally I think I would really struggle with it. But I'm sitting here this afternoon feeling guilty. OH has just said I need to be number 1 priority, but I think when you are conscientious and know what has to be done in your absence it's difficult.
Strudel and Emily - my breast was hard and very swollen until yesterday, when it suddenly went soft and much smaller than my other one. This seems to be since I've been doing the exercises the Physio gave me last Thursday. It's as though the fluid has gone, although the tightness under my arm and the pain over my ribs is no less yet.
Susan - I'm sorry to hear about your dog - he must be enormous, especially compared to my little do who weighs less than a stone. Hope he has stabilised now.
Sounds like big hugs are needed all round today.
love Jane X
just have to say Ali that made me laugh so much. you are fab... can I come back and ask you stuff when Im going through Chemo ? xxx
Glad it went ok after that nightmare start. Good tip about the flannel. First dose of don't be such a wuss tablets tonight and another dose at lunchtime. Hopefully by the time the line is being put in I'll be too stoned/ chilled to notice! Take it easy tonight Ali. Scotty x
Into the room, not 'too'
So I'm home. Was back by 2.15 and I'm fine.
It was difficult to get a cannula in, took two goes and hurt more than usual. But I'm having a PICC line done before the next one, so not a problem. Interestingly they didn't offer this. But I said I wanted one and they agreed straight away though, so definitely worth asking.
The rest was drama free. I had EC and I'm not cold-capping, so I was out in less than two hours. I have a bit of a headache but not so bad that I'd take a paracetamol. I came home on the tube, my husband came to bag carry but I didn't want him around for the actual chemo.
One tip-which I've posted over in the January chemo thread. I was a bit worried because I fainted when they injected me for the MRI. No idea why, I'm not squeamish at all, although again she had to have two goes at getting it in. Anyway I know that if I'm feeling lightheaded a cold flannel helps. So this morning I put a clean wet flannel in a plastic bag with half a dozen ice cubes and sealed it. This was great as it stayed cold. I didn't feel faint but it was nice to know it was there and I held the bag against my forehead when the headache kicked in. Didn't need to take it out of the bag, it was just nice to have something cold to hand. Might be something to take when you have your PICC line done, Scotty. I'm definitely going to take that each time.
Didn't really need all the chemo bag contents there, but all good for now I'm home. The nurses were with me for all but 25 minutes so they chatted all the time. I am lying on the sofa trying to look pale and interesting.
Good luck with everything, all of you.
PS when they say be careful about infection, I'm assuming that the cat shouldn't be drinking from my glass of water. I wouldn't have known, if I hadn't caught him when I came back into the too .
Hope you've got ice for that G&T!! Could always use it where they've been stabbing you by the sounds of it?! Awful that you were but through that stress before you started - not what you needed. Makes me more detemined to pull on those brave pants and get PICC line done. Had meltdown for a bloodtest so a tall order! Relax now and imagine the lasers zapping away doing their worst (or best if you know what I mean!) Scotty x
Oh Jo, sending you huge hugs xxxxxx
Emma, I might have to make a list of something, even if its what we are having for tea for a week, I need to plan something lol!
You are right about the Christmas bubble, mine just popped, 2017 seems really long! I'm going to hoover today and take the tree down that I couldn't be bothered to do yesterday, keep busy.
As for work, I go back Wednesday, had 2 weeks signed off and a bit of holiday. I'm reception/admin in a childrens centre, I get a couple of months sick pay so I'm saving them but Im prepared to work part time through any treatment and they have said they will accomodate me whatever, they have actually been amazing. I also have amazing girls that I work with, who are very protective so I know if I'm struggling they will field phone calls and people for me.
Everyone, I am being very careful riding, I won't do much, just a potter. Dan is a good boy and looks after me. I just need to do it. Don't worry I'm not going to do anything stupid.
Stru my breast is soft not hard, have you asked your BCN? Mine is massive compared to the other one though and I had a laugh weighing it (with my hand) it was soo much heavier I had to show Don. He looked so surprised lol! Its just fluid I assume. My arm pit gived me more trouble than anything, feeling is coming back and its so hyper sensitve. I have found tight tops better that don't let my arm rub on my side.
Jane I always worry about my BCN thinking I'm being a pain if I ring (and I rally don't ring that much) but that is what they are there for and I know your BCN will be only too happy to hear from you and wouldn't want you not to ring if you are anxious. The worry is so difficult to control sometimes and I hope she can esquire you in some way.
Emily I'm not surprised you are scared and low today. Wish I could make it better. Not having a plan is so hard - I know you are a fellow list writer and like a good plan 😄
Susan - so sorry to hear about your dog - hope you get some good news from the vet this morning
sarah your wait must seem to be going on forever for your results appointment. We will all support you as you approach it though. The hospitals will all be waking up a bit now and catching up after the Christmas period so things may not take quite as long going forward.
its a funny time after new year year. I feel as though I was protected a bit by a sort of Christmas bubble where nothing was quit real. Now the reality has hit me and months of treatment, including really scary op are ahead of me I need some really really tough pants. My husband is a teacher and is going back to work tomorrow so maybe that's a bit of it - although I might get a few more things done 😉
thank you Helena - just the radiology appt on Wednesday as saw the oncologist on 23rd December - he's on HoIiday now so apparently will be planning where the "Ray's" need to be fired remotely! Expecting ct scan but not sure whether they will mark me up or whether the oncologist has to let the radiographer know where to do this. Feels like a big step into the unknown again! Just worrying about my pathology report again, why I reread it last night I do t know. But although I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, and a small tumour at that, just noticed it says the tissue removed was 10 cm including DCIS, so will be troubling my BCN again tomorrow.. I'm sure she is really fed up of hearing my voice!
Need you guys this morning. I'm back to not sleeping, damn it! Assume it's my looming appointment tomorrow.
My minds running away with me with the what ifs. My biggest fear is that they got it wrong with the nodes and they aren't really clear! (I know stru, you tried to reassure me but ...)....... for those that don't know me, at Warwick, they are tested whilst you are under having your op so they can do the clearance there and then if needed.......but no one has actually told me they were clear, I just didn't have a drain when I woke up!
I think I feel like this because I lost my plan.....I just have tomorrow and a void.
Should have left riding for today, I made myself a bit sore (not least stiff from not riding for nearly 3 weeks) but it would have been a good distraction today 🙁
Good morning lovely ladies,
I had a horrible day yesterday - not cancer related. I was up at 4.30am with my dog who couldn't put his leg down. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he ended up being taken by the pet ambulance and is now in hospital on a drip with antibiotics and painkillers. He has an infection in the same leg that he had his cruciate repaired nearly five years ago. He an 8 1/2 stone American Bulldog and it takes two people to lift him. He was crying in pain and looking for me to help him. I kept checking my phone through the night as I worried that they were going to ring and say he had passed away.
I'm not up-to-date with your comments but I hope everyone is o.k, and wish everyone going for their results and treatments the best of luck.
Lots of hugs
if the Astrozole is anything like the Letrozole I'm on ( which I imagine it is) it can make you feel so rubbish at times. I take mine in the evening now so the worst of the aches and pains happens at night but I still have sore joints in the day as well as tiredness and general hormonal stuff. It can make it so difficult to get a grip so I do feel for you. I hope you have a better day tomorrow and you manage to locate those tough pants!
i will need to find mine too tomorrow I think. At least it's January now so I can say I'm having my surgery this month!!
Helena and Strudel thank you for the summaries of where people are at at - really helpful
Emily so happy you were able to ride today
once again I go awol for a day and miss several pages. Welcome to lots of new ladies - the club where nobody really wants to join, but, hey, we have some fun amongst the angst.
Big hugs Ann - we can't solve your problems but we can tell you that everything you feel is normal - you will gradually find that, once you have a plan, you will have more good days than bad.
Emily - can't believe you've been bouncing around on that pony! Bet it felt good though!
Good luck for your first chemo Ali tomorrow.
I have my radiotherapy planning appt on Wednesday, and I know in the big scheme of things it's nothing to worry about so why am I feeling so churned up about life again. Not been in a good place today really, but hoping to have a better nights sleep and will get the tough pants on in the morning. Blaming everything on the Anastrozole at the moment - hot flushes, headaches and nausea - bit like being pregnant really!! Have an old friend visiting tomorrow, so lots of girlie chatting to look forward too.
too true! Think we're both fumbling our way through this and keep bumping into things if that makes any sense. Diagnosis came as a bolt out of the blue. Trying to locate a sturdy pair of big girl pants as we speak before settling down to Sherlock!
Good luck tomorrow Ali. Laser guns at the ready. ZAP ZAP!! Finished having a wobbly. Hubby and I getting tetchy with each other. Definitely ready for treatment to start.
Ha, I see what you mean. That's made me laugh, a lot. Unfortunately since I've been drinking litres of water to plump my veins it's also made me come dangerously close to wetting myself.
Thanks, Charlo and welcome. I'm a bit nervous, partly because my pre-chemo chat is immediately before. At this they will 'tell me how to prepare'!. Anyway sure it'll be fine. Main thing is zapping the bugger (stolen phrase from Scotty). Also I have the best chemo bag ever. You'll have to look back to Friday's posts to find out about it.
It's amazing that you and Strudel are real life friends. Obviously also a bit **bleep** (are we allowed to say **bleep** here? Sorry, if not). But good too.
Should finally be starting chemo this week, PICC line pending I'm hoping that actually starting treatment will help to alleviate some of this stomach-churning anxiety Did others find that to be the case?
A big week for lots of us then.
Emily and Jo, thinking of you both. And of everyone waiting for test results. I swear it's the worst bit, impossible not to imagine the worst at times.
Emily, your OH sounds a bit like mine. He's so keen not to google that I have had to go through the possible side effects line by line. Before that he thought I was being dramatic when I suggested getting a thermometer. It's probably better than having one that reads too much, but really sometimes I'd welcome a happy medium.
Zena, glad you found the upbeat thread x
Strudel, you're right. Chemo for me first thing tomorrow. And a CT scan on Wednesday. I'm almost looking forward to the chemo, at least we will be doing something active to treat this. Albeit my active participation will mostly be spent on my backside!
I'm currently playing the cancer card: being brought endless cups of tea, have a cashmere blanket with two cats on it and getting to choose what's on the telly. (Football if you're interested). All these are sources of pleasure. Irritatingly it's exactly how I spent Sunday afternoons before I knew I had cancer. So not as much of an upside as I'd hoped.