How's everyone doing.?

[Emily T]

Thanks Ali, I know I drink too much but those stats are helpful.....I am going to try to get healthier this year all round.....it's hard though at the momentime, it's not like it's the 1st thinget on my Mind!!

[ali1961]

Thanks Strudel and Emily,

Ok booze. So if you have been drinking within recommended limits, I understand the best estimate is that it increases your risk by up to c 25% compared with a teetotaller. That sounds a lot, but if 8 women in 100 get breast cancer it's putting the risk at maybe 9 in 100 for 'drinkers' cf maybe 7 in 100 for non-drinkers. Still bad luck really.

I'm posting this because I'm an academic and I worry about how stats savvy people are. (I promise I'm not judging people who aren't just don't want them to over worry). Also because I think all of us who like a drink will feel some residual guilt. I'll add in being overweight. Though I offsetted with years of breastfeeding!

Of course drinking more than 14 units a week raises the risk further, but I know plenty of near alcoholics who haven't got BC. We have been unlucky.

Sorry to sound serious. And of course everyone should do what they feel comfortable. I'm going to cut back myself, but not stop completely. After all daily champagne is good for you according to recent research!

Ali xx

[Strudel]

Jane thanks for the information. I'll leave it a week and then have a chat with the BCN if it doesn't soften up.

Ali - welcome back. Glad it went ok.

Pam - I don't have mine either but was going to ask the oncologist for a copy at my first appointment - presuming I ever get one!

Silver - how you doing?

[Emily T]

Jane, my arm still hurts, I do the exercises but they don't seem to get any easier!

My breast doesn't fit in my bra properly, I'm all lop sided lol! 😁

I love a tipple but I'm thinking j need to really cut it down or stop, it seems to be a massive factor in BC.

Ali, I'm so glad it all went well xxxxxxx

[Pam75]

Emj60 when we're you given your pathology report I haven't got one x

[EJM60]

Glad you're home Ali.  First one down now!  

Just had a giggle over people misreading booze for snooze - I just read stru's comment about Charlo being keen on a tipple, as Charlo's keen on a nipple!!!  Well it would be topical!

i know what you all mean about the Christmas bubble - January always feels a bit dull after Christmas and I suppose we all have a reason to feel more blue than usual (and no, not talking blue boobs!)!.

I Work in a primary school, and they are back tomorrow, but I had a phone chat with the gp's surgery on Friday and they have given me another sick note. I have decided not to work during my radiotherapy, as the hospital journey is a two hour round trip, and that's without traffic. My job is also very full on, and can be quite stressful at times, and emotionally I think I would really struggle with it.  But I'm sitting here this afternoon feeling guilty.  OH has just said I need to be number 1 priority, but I think when you are conscientious and know what has to be done in your absence it's difficult. 

Strudel and Emily - my breast was hard and very swollen until yesterday, when it suddenly went soft and much smaller than my other one.  This seems to be since I've been doing the exercises the Physio gave me last Thursday.  It's as though the fluid has gone, although the tightness under my arm and the pain over my ribs is no less yet.

Susan - I'm sorry to hear about your dog - he must be enormous, especially compared to my little do who weighs less than a stone. Hope he has stabilised now.

Sounds like big hugs are needed all round today.

love Jane X

[ali1961]

Of course you can, Zena. PM me anytime if that's easier.

Xx

[zena75]

just have to say Ali that made me laugh so much. you are fab... can I come back and ask you stuff when Im going through Chemo ? xxx

[Scotty66]

Glad it went ok after that nightmare start. Good tip about the flannel. First dose of don't be such a wuss tablets tonight and another dose at lunchtime. Hopefully by the time the line is being put in I'll be too stoned/ chilled to notice! Take it easy tonight Ali. Scotty x

[ali1961]

Into the room, not 'too'

[ali1961]

So I'm home. Was back by 2.15 and I'm fine. 

It was difficult to get a cannula in, took two goes and hurt more than usual. But I'm having a PICC line done before the next one, so not a problem. Interestingly they didn't offer this. But I said I wanted one and they agreed straight away though, so definitely worth asking.

The rest was drama free. I had EC and I'm not cold-capping, so I was out in less than two hours. I have a bit of a headache but not so bad that I'd take a paracetamol. I came home on the tube, my husband came to bag carry but I didn't want him around for the actual chemo.

One tip-which I've posted over in the January chemo thread.  I was a bit worried because I fainted when they injected me for the MRI. No idea why, I'm not squeamish at all, although again she had to have two goes at getting it in. Anyway I know that if I'm feeling lightheaded a cold flannel helps. So this morning I put a clean wet flannel in a plastic bag with half a dozen ice cubes and sealed it. This was great as it stayed cold. I didn't feel faint but it was nice to know it was there and I held the bag against my forehead when the headache kicked in. Didn't need to take it out of the bag, it was just nice to have something cold to hand. Might be something to take when you have your PICC line done, Scotty. I'm definitely going to take that each time.

Didn't really need all the chemo bag contents there, but all good for now I'm home. The nurses were with me for all but 25 minutes so they chatted all the time. I am lying on the sofa trying to look pale and interesting. 

Good luck with everything, all of you. 

Ali

xx

PS when they say be careful about infection, I'm assuming that the cat shouldn't be drinking from my glass of water. I wouldn't have known, if I hadn't caught him when I came back into the too .

[Strudel]

Course you did Em, one track mind you 😊 . I see you have a soul mate in Jo and I can assure you that Charlo's keen on a tipple too!

Whilst I'm thinking about it massive good luck to you for tomorrow Emily and to you for Wednesday Jo. Waiting for results is without doubt the hardest part of this **bleep**.

[Jo C]

Lol Emily T, I read it as booze too! I think I'm missing my G&Ts. It's been a dry Christmas this yeat but I did get a G&T sampler kit from my daughters so might just have to give it a try. My eldest has offered to help me out 😂

[Emily T]

lol! I read that as booze

[Strudel]

That's fricking outrageous, hope your blood pressure's recovered. I'm going to go with hope you enjoy your reading or a snooze 😊

[Emily T]

Yes, I'd have been having a very tight lipped discusion too!!!! Hope it all goes well, enjoy your gin and tonic 😄

[Scotty66]

Hope you've got ice for that G&T!! Could always use it where they've been stabbing you by the sounds of it?! Awful that you were but through that stress before you started - not what you needed. Makes me more detemined to pull on those brave pants and get PICC line done. Had meltdown for a bloodtest so a tall order! Relax now and imagine the lasers zapping away doing their worst (or best if you know what I mean!) Scotty x

[Jo C]

Good luck today Ali xxx

[ali1961]

Hi all. So literally in the chair with cannula in and waiting for the EC.

Scotty -the PICC line is definitely the way to go. I won't go into details but I'm a bit pin-cushiony right now, so I'm getting one for next time.
Susan, sorry to hear about your dog, he sounds lovely. I'll be thinking about him.

Thanks for all the good wishes. Only drama was that I got here and they'd cancelled the appointment. Cue one v tight lipped discussion, with me pointing out that is already been bumped and had to chase them for timings etc. Anyway I got an apology and they found me a slot. Though my blood pressure is up quite high.

Ok enough from me for now. I have books to read and a gin and tonic to finish. (One of those statements is a lie).

Ali x

[Emily T]

Oh Jo, sending you huge hugs xxxxxx

Emma, I might have to make a list of something, even if its what we are having for tea for a week, I need to plan something lol! 

You are right about the Christmas bubble, mine just popped, 2017 seems really long! I'm going to hoover today and take the tree down that I couldn't be bothered to do yesterday, keep busy.

As for work, I go back Wednesday, had 2 weeks signed off and a bit of holiday. I'm reception/admin in a childrens centre, I get a couple of months sick pay so I'm saving them but Im prepared to work part time through any treatment and they have said they will accomodate me whatever, they have actually been amazing. I also have amazing girls that I work with, who are very protective so I know if I'm struggling they will field phone calls and people for me.

Everyone, I am being very careful riding, I won't do much, just a potter. Dan is a good boy and looks after me. I just need to do it. Don't worry I'm not going to do anything stupid.

Stru my breast is soft not hard, have you asked your BCN? Mine is massive compared to the other one though and I had a laugh weighing it (with my hand) it was soo much heavier I had to show Don. He looked so surprised lol! Its just fluid I assume. My arm pit gived me more trouble than anything, feeling is coming back and its so hyper sensitve. I have found tight tops better that don't let my arm rub on my side. 

[Strudel]

Cheers Emma. My work has been brilliant as well but I'm panicking because I'm not doing my ordinary job at the moment and I really don't see how to do shorter hours etc. I couldn't have given a stuff a week or so ago but I am now feeling a lot better, just in time to feel worse again!

General surgery question. My boob is still rock hard in the area where my lump was. It was the rock hardness that mainly alerted me to the issue (following pain). So it basically feels the same. Tissue scarring? Will it soften up? Just worried about identifying future potential issues if it's not changed now.

[Jo C]

Emily

I'm right there with you today. I'm anxious about my results on Wednesday. I know I have at least 2 nodes involved and I'm terrified it's spread. I am sleeping (it seems to be my only relief) but don't want to get out of bed! My youngest two came and snuggled under the duvet with me this morning. I am so scared that I'm not going to be here for them. Big hugs and thinking if you.

Susan, so sorry to hear about your dog. Hope he's feeling better today.

It's been strange getting through Christmas and New Year and like you've said, back to reality. I just want to sleep through it and wake up and be ok rather than waking up to the though,"OMG I've got cancer."

[Em 67]

Studel it's so stressful dealing with the wor issue on top of all of this. My job is difficult to dip in and out of and although my work ar being brilliant I keep worrying about what to do. Don't want to take too much time off but know I can't do my job properly either. I'm sure you will feel better if you talk to them. Good luck

[Strudel]

Morning all.

First off - Silver I'm so sorry about your dog, I hope he's doing better.

AnnCan welcome back. You and I had our operations on the same date. Since then there have been more people having chemo joining the thread - Ali and Charlotherapy for sure, possibly Scotty so plenty of people to talk to.

Charlo, I'm still really sorry about the fish - I know that symbolically it was more than just a fish *hug*. I don't know about the tamoxifen point either. I'm still waiting on even getting an appointment to discuss it. I'll ask the question at the appointment though, remind me.

Em, deep breaths. I know how anxious you are and I clearly remember the Sunday night before my results that nothing anybody said would have made any difference - what time's your appointment? Be careful riding Hun x

SallyAnn - hugs.

Jane, if they failed to tell you had DCIS they can't complain if you call to query it!

Ali - if you're reading this then I hope all's ok, and see Charlo's post below .

I'm fine actually. P'd off about the lack of next appointment - unless you count the one to see my surgeon again in December! Also wondering what to do about work. I'm signed off for another week yet but I'll be fit to start back then. Problem is that then I'll have to stop again to do radiotherapy or (oncotype dependent) chemo and I don't have the type of job (currently on temp promotion) where I can do just a few hours a day. I'll have to ring my boss to discuss I suppose.

[Em 67]

Sorry loads of typos - reassure not esquire! And really not rally
Should read through
Using an ancient iPad

[Em 67]

Jane I always worry about my BCN thinking I'm being a pain if I ring (and I rally don't ring that much) but that is what they are there for and I know your BCN will be only too happy to hear from you and wouldn't want you not to ring if you are anxious. The worry is so difficult to control sometimes and I hope she can esquire you in some way.

Emily I'm not surprised you are scared and low today. Wish I could make it better. Not having a plan is so hard - I know you are a fellow list writer and like a good plan 😄

Susan - so sorry to hear about your dog - hope you get some good news from the vet this morning

sarah your wait must seem to be going on forever for your results appointment. We will all support you as you approach it though. The hospitals will all be waking up a bit now and catching up after the Christmas period so things may not take quite as long going forward.

its a funny time after new year year. I feel as though I was protected a bit by a sort of Christmas bubble where nothing was quit real. Now the reality has hit me and months of treatment, including really scary op are ahead of me I need some really really tough pants. My husband is a teacher and is going back to work tomorrow so maybe that's a bit of it - although I might get a few more things done 😉

[Emily T]

Jane, my surgeon told me they remove an extra 1cm looking for a 1mm margin and if you had some DCIS they would have wanted to get it all so I recon that's why the area is so large.

I think I need to invest in some tough pants, my frilly knickers certainly don't work 😁

[EJM60]

thank you Helena - just the radiology appt on Wednesday as saw the oncologist on 23rd December - he's on HoIiday now so apparently will be planning where the "Ray's" need to be fired remotely!  Expecting ct scan but not sure whether they will mark me up or whether the oncologist has to let the radiographer know where to do this. Feels like a big step into the unknown again!  Just worrying about my pathology report again, why I reread it last night I do t know. But although I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, and a small tumour at that, just noticed it says the tissue removed was 10 cm including DCIS, so will be troubling my BCN again tomorrow.. I'm sure she is really fed up of hearing my voice! 

Jane X 

[Sallyann43]

Emily - right there with you today .. not sleeping, it's a bloody nightmare and my appt isn't until next Tuesday 😢 ... I absolutely hate the appointment days, they make me so anxious ...
I wish they could do the results over the phone so I know what I'm facing before I go in and I've already managed to get my head round it
Fed up with waiting xxxx

[Emily T]

Need you guys this morning. I'm back to not sleeping, damn it! Assume it's my looming appointment tomorrow.

My minds running away with me with the what ifs. My biggest fear is that they got it wrong with the nodes and they aren't really clear! (I know stru, you tried to reassure me but ...)....... for those that don't know me, at Warwick, they are tested whilst you are under having your op so they can do the clearance there and then if needed.......but no one has actually told me they were clear, I just didn't have a drain when I woke up! 

I think I feel like this because I lost my plan.....I just have tomorrow and a void. 

Should have left riding for today, I made myself a bit sore (not least stiff from not riding for nearly 3 weeks) but it would have been a good distraction today 🙁

[Emily T]

Oh no a Susan, I hope he is OK, I can't bare to see animals in pain, I hate that we can't help. Makes you feel so useless. Massive hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Silverlady]

Good morning lovely ladies,

I had a horrible day yesterday - not cancer related. I was up at 4.30am with my dog who couldn't put his leg down. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he ended up being taken by the pet ambulance and is now in hospital on a drip with antibiotics and painkillers. He has an infection in the same leg that he had his cruciate repaired nearly five years ago. He an 8 1/2 stone American Bulldog and it takes two people to lift him. He was crying in pain and looking for me to help him. I kept checking my phone through the night as I worried that they were going to ring and say he had passed away.

I'm not up-to-date with your comments but I hope everyone is o.k, and wish everyone going for their results and treatments the best of luck.

Lots of hugs

Susan

[Charlotheraphy]

Ali just remember at the prechemo chat they give you the worst case scenario. In my experience (so far) the fear of chemo was worse than the reality. I hope this is true for you too.

AnnCann, Me and Strudel have spoken about this a lot. No matter what they tell us we will never be satisfied. Even when it's good news we worry. I have a very supportive unit also but unless they have been through it themselves, it's difficult for them to understand. Since my treatment started, the worrying is better but I still have moments. Yesterday my daughters fish died and I burst into tears! You will feel better once you have results and a plan.

The hormone comments are very interesting. Seems I have more fun to come even after chemo, surgery and radiotheraphy. Do you know if those drugs are suitable for premenopausal women? I'm allergic to tamoxifen so they will need to find me another premenopausal hormone to take?

[Em 67]

Jane 

if the Astrozole is anything like the Letrozole I'm on ( which I imagine it is) it can make you feel so rubbish at times. I take mine in the evening now so the worst of the aches and pains happens at night but I still have sore joints in the day as well as tiredness and general hormonal stuff. It can make it so difficult to get a grip so I do feel for you. I hope you have a better day tomorrow and you manage to locate those tough pants!

i will need to find mine too tomorrow I think. At least it's January now so I can say I'm having my surgery this month!!

Helena and Strudel thank you for the summaries of where people are at at - really helpful

Emily so happy you were able to ride today

[EJM60]

once again I go awol  for a day and miss several pages.  Welcome to lots of new ladies - the club where nobody really wants to join, but, hey, we have some fun amongst the angst.

Big hugs Ann - we can't solve your problems but we can tell you that everything you feel is normal - you will gradually find that, once you have a plan, you will have more good days than bad.

Emily - can't believe you've been bouncing around on that pony!  Bet it felt good though!  

Good luck for your first chemo Ali tomorrow.  

I have my radiotherapy planning appt on Wednesday, and I know in the big scheme of things it's nothing to worry about so why am I feeling so churned up about life again.  Not been in a good place today really, but hoping to have a better nights sleep and will get the tough pants on in the morning.  Blaming everything on the Anastrozole at the moment - hot flushes, headaches and nausea - bit like being pregnant really!! Have an old friend visiting tomorrow, so lots of girlie chatting to look forward too.

night all.

jane X

[AnnCann]

Dear ladies I was encouraged by several of you lovely ladies to join this thread before Christmas but I have been so busy worrying and stressing I found it hard to chat to you ladies... I had my op on 6th December to remove the tumour and waiting for results of my CT scan and bone scan... I am terrified... staging needs to be confined too. I saw oncologist last week who said I have Grade 3 cancer but only one lymph node involvement... I had 17 lymphs removed all clear except for that one!! Why can't j feel positive about this?? My next appoint on 12 Jan to get the results... I should have a detailed plan of my chemo treatment to.... I am still suffering from anxiety and it's crippling me. I have a very large supportive family but I continue to torture myself... help xxxxx

[Scotty66]

ladybowler

too true! Think we're both fumbling our way through this and keep bumping into things if that makes any sense. Diagnosis came as a bolt out of the blue. Trying to locate a sturdy pair of big girl pants as we speak before settling down to Sherlock!

[Scotty66]

Good luck tomorrow Ali. Laser guns at the ready. ZAP ZAP!! Finished having a wobbly. Hubby and I getting tetchy with each other. Definitely ready for treatment to start.

[ali1961]

Ha, I see what you mean. That's made me laugh, a lot. Unfortunately since I've been drinking litres of water to plump my veins it's also made me come dangerously close to wetting myself. 

Ali

[Emily T]

It's OK Ali, we found out a while ago you get bleeped out 😂

I have to take the o off and call you charl, I can only do one syllable lol! Welcome btw xxx

[ali1961]

Thanks, Charlo and welcome. I'm a bit nervous, partly because my pre-chemo chat is immediately before. At this they will 'tell me how to prepare'!. Anyway sure it'll be fine. Main thing is zapping the bugger (stolen phrase from Scotty). Also I have the best chemo bag ever. You'll have to look back to Friday's posts to find out about it. 

It's amazing that you and Strudel are real life friends. Obviously also a bit **bleep** (are we allowed to say **bleep** here? Sorry, if not). But good too. 

Ali x

[Pam75]

I had my op 24th November still awaiting oncologist type results..hopefully will be this week oncologist said she'll call me as soon as she has them

[Charlotheraphy]

Cake is a must you have to keep your strength up after all.

Ali good luck with your chemo. If I can help in any way bring 2 down. Let me know. Xxx

[Strudel]

Oh this is a very happy moment for me - Charlotherapy is a real life friend, diagnosed within 2 weeks of each other which was, well pants as you can imagine. She's also a young 'un.

Don't think it's run trouble you've had though mate - isn't it your veins? 😳

It's gone madly busy here, people just pre-op, post op, first chemos, first rads half way through etc. Ali's got first chemo tomorrow and Emily's got post surgery results Tuesday and then what Ladybowler said! You'll never keep up. I can't keep typing Charlotherapy so you're Charlo. Weird.

Silver - you ok? Still recovering from last night?

Anyway I swear I walked off at least 1o lbs this afternoon so I think that means I can have cake now doesn't it?

[Charlotheraphy]

This was meant to say vein trouble not run trouble! 😳

[Charlotheraphy]

Ok well hi all. Yes I know Strudel so guessing it's the right forum. I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer in November. I'm having chemo first, then surgery, radiotherapy and hormones after as I'm ER+. I was due to have my third FEC Tuesday but my bloods came back with low white blood cells do they have delayed it a week 😡. I've lost my hair but actually quite enjoying the wigs and different hat combos. Still have my eyebrows though so not quite uncle fester just yet!

I've had some run trouble as a result of the FEC so hoping to have a PICC line put in soon. Otherwise I'm doing pretty good. Had an amazing Christmas and New Year! Drank s whole 2 glassses of wine last night 🍾🎊🎉 and of course copious amounts of water.

Strudel says you are a lovely group so I'm here to join in and help those who need it. Here's to a healthy 2017!!!!

[Emily T]

I will Sarah, I'm being very careful x

[Scotty66]

Should finally be starting chemo this week, PICC line pending I'm hoping that actually starting treatment will help to alleviate some of this stomach-churning anxiety Did others find that to be the case?

[Sallyann43]

Emily T - not usually like me but yeah looks like I was lost for words 😂😂 how brilliant you've been back in the saddle .. do be careful though xx
I've been to see my babies today (grandsons) and I've had cuddles ... yay!!! So missed cuddles from them ...
What have we got on this week? I know about Emily but need to look back on everybody else ..
Where are you silver with your list?? Lol xxxx

[ali1961]

A big week for lots of us then.

Emily and Jo, thinking of you both. And of everyone waiting for test results. I swear it's the worst bit, impossible not to imagine the worst at times. 

Emily, your OH sounds a bit like mine. He's so keen not to google that I have had to go through the possible side effects line by line. Before that he thought I was being dramatic when I suggested getting a thermometer. It's probably better than having one that reads too much, but really sometimes I'd welcome a happy medium. 

Zena, glad you found the upbeat thread x

Strudel, you're right. Chemo for me first thing tomorrow. And a CT scan on Wednesday. I'm almost looking forward to the chemo, at least we will be doing something active to treat this. Albeit my active participation will mostly be spent on my backside! 

I'm currently playing the cancer card: being brought endless cups of tea, have a cashmere blanket with two cats on it and getting to choose what's on the telly. (Football if you're interested). All these are sources of pleasure. Irritatingly it's exactly how I spent Sunday afternoons before I knew I had cancer. So not as much of an upside as I'd hoped.

Ali x