Good to see you Emma - like the analogy of the cost kitchen and mug of tea!!
Ali - I think the idea of certain times classed as 'cancer free' is a really good one. I do wonder if I'm offloading too much to my oh about things. I know that it's all part of the 'in sickness and in health' but perhaps the poor man needs a break. I seem to have taken a step backwards at the moment and every waking minute is filled with thoughts about my diagnosis etc. In fact I had a melt down during 24 hours In A and E because one of the nurses looked just like the original BC nurse who held my hand when I was told I had cancer.
Susan - thank you for the loan of the pants - might be a bit of a squeeze for strudel and I to fit, but we'd keep warm and cosy together!
Love to all
Hi - not been on for a few days - now had the CT scan, a visit to the Chemo Centre and the breast marker thing put in. The locum oncologist was a bit abrupt but my specialist nurse was fab! Have my next visit (for intro and video etc) on 23rd Jan and 1st chemo that week.
A friend told me to look up tumeric - what does everyone think? There are tumeric capsules and some evidence that they are good for all sorts of stuff including cancer. Is this something I should consider?
I have been using a soap with no sodium laurel sulphate all last year (not connected to my cancer) but it is wonderful as my skin is no longer dry. My hair is also thicker and less fly away (at the moment, I have some!). It's sold by onevillage.co.uk and I use it instead of shampoo and shower gel 9and don't need conditioner). For women going through radiotherapy this may help as SLS are not recommended. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ali that is wonderful news. I will join you for a glass of virtual champagne.
I was expecting spread, due to the cancer being so large and aggressive, I think my consultant did as well, which is why is sent me for a CT scan.
So I can totally understand the joy you are feeling right now.
I don't know what stage I am - I haven't asked.
I'm so pleased for you.
Ali that is such good news. A tough journey ahead but with your worst fears alleviated. The lead up to today must have been horrendous. Enjoy your well deserved glass of champagne - I might join you from a considerable distance in Brum and raise a glass to you!!! Emma xx
So I have actual news. Phoned the BCN about my CT scan and whilst it's confirmed there is node involvement (we didn't know before) it has also confirmed no spread elsewhere. She was really nice and went through each bit, lungs, liver, bowels and bones. All clear. I know it might have seemed overly pessimistic to be expecting mets, but I sort of was. Partly because I've had unexplained pain, partly because my onc was concerned about it and partly because of my type (of cancer, not personality). So, while I've been trying to get on with life, I'd also been thinking about what it would mean.
Anyway, I'm obviously really relieved. They haven't formally staged it yet, but I'll either be stage 2c or 3 depending on the number of nodes involved. They're going to discuss that with me at the next clinic pre-chemo 2. But honestly, all I can think is that at least I've got the chance to knock it back completely. Lots of treament to go through, she confirmed 18 cycles of Herceptin planned, but I'm breathing again.
I know it's crap for others waiting, but hope you can all join me in a glass of virtual champagne. Unless you live in Greenwich, in which case come on over.
Morning all, being norty and posting at work because I felt the need to check in.
Zena hun, please don't go, this thread is about us all supporting each other. Your rant is fine but we do need to celebrate everyones positives and support those who are having a touch time too.
Silver, I'm waiting Oncologist appointment. I'm HER2- got that result Tuesday, so sample been sent for Oncotype.
I tried ringing the couselling people through work but they were a bit crap, I got a call back and she wasn't really getting what I wanted and garbled on about phone counselling and just ringing as and when I needed to talk. I don;t know, think I'll leave it for the moment.
Hope everyone is ok, I have read through and I am with all of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Good morning ladies. Yesterday I dusted off my tough pants - I think even a few moths flew out when I picked them up!! Today they are firmly in place and I'm ready to have a better day. I need to stop dripping about and you have inspired me (as usual) to get a hold of myself.
I have tried to catch up with posts and see there has been a lot going on. This thread has always been a place where I feel I can say it how it really is, have a good old rant but also express any positives and always feel so glad for anyone else's better news (even if I'm going through a bad bit myself). This is all so scary for all of us, with so much uncertainty. I hate to think of anyone feeling they have to leave the thread unless they want to as we're such a warm, tolerant bunch and have to feel free to say what we need to. Having been a bit out of it over the last couple of weeks, it is the first place I've come back to on the site - and it feels like coming back into a nice cosy kitchen with a big cup of tea when it is sooo cold outside!!
completely relate to the OH issues - it's like oh are you still talking about your BC I thought we'd done that!! To be fair to mine (he has been brilliant) it is only some of the time but I do sometimes feel that everyone is just really bored of it now! Susan I laughed out loud at your bit about him then talking about his ailments!! I do get a bit irritated by people's need to constantly witter on about their trivial complaints!! I'm sure they are very annoying for them but really??!!!
good luck to anyone facing particular challenges today, including anyone going to work. I have given in and got signed off now until after my op and feel a million times better for the decision. Meeting HR director today ( who is also a good friend) and that feels close enough to work at the moment.
no snow here yet - would love a bit at the weekend but not enough to interfere with anyone's treatment or trips to hospital xxx
Hi, Mary. As Strudel said it's unimaginable and must feel like you got a pretty bum deal. But really glad that it's good news.
Zena, hope you stay around. I completely understand how you feel, but don't risk losing the good things from being here, because there are some tough moments too. When I found I was ER-/HER+, I was a bit jealous of others. (The bog-standards (BS) as I believe they are now officially known!). But it's not a zero sum game. What I mean by that is, someone else getting a good outcome doesn't mean you or I are more likely to get a bad one. You could even think about it this way. the more people have BS cancer, with no node involvment, the more resources are left for those of us who don't! Ok, I agree that's a weird way of thinking, and I'm slightly joking, but it might help.
Silver, that actually made me laugh, although it's also really annoying. Yup, competitive aches and worse. Like an illness Top Trumps x
Strudel, that's pretty crap tbh. Initialky I'd imagined that OHs would fall into one of two categories. Roughly supportive or rubbish. Which is clearly over-simplistic and going to miss lots of up and downs as well as different starting points. My advice would be to address it head on, but in a fairly light way. If you ignore it, then it's accepting it. But calling him on it might lead to resentment. Maybe at some point say, "It's so all encompassing at the moment, I'm even boring myself at points." He probably isn't aware that he's doing it. I'm going to designate a daily Cancer free hour as a thing in our house. No discussion of treatment, the future, fears etc. And then see if I can go for Cancer free Saturdays. Not that I'll actually be cancer free, obviously, but more as a way of getting both of us some headspace. By definition the rest of the time is not cancer free, so it's not really cramping time for my worries/fears/ need to talk. It may not work for everyone, but it feels like I need to do something. This is a long haul for me (& many others) so I don't feel I can risk drifting through.
Probably should say I'm not qualified to give relationship advice at all. But I am older (55) and I got married at 17. So I've had a long stretch of working at it. We did also lay down one agreed ground rule in our house. No matter what is the current popular mantra; what celebrities say; or what seems selfish, this is not worse for him than for me. If it turns out well, I have this in my life for ever. If it turns out badly, he get some to see the currently not born grandchildren grow up. It is worse for me. So when he gets bored, or sad, or resentful, he has to remember that.
So, I cut my hair yesterday and am thinking of changing career and becoming a hairdresser. As long as I can find enough clients who want short choppy bobs, it'll work fine. Seriously I think I may have wasted thousands of pounds over 40 years, it looks pretty good. Though I think I'll be clipping it on Sunday, so there's a short window of conceit.
Have a a good day everyone. No idea what people are doing, sorry. But good luck for treatments/results everything else.
Sounds good news about your ms Marydan. My friend had a relapse last October, having been stable for many years, and that was down to work stress. She is improving again, but waiting for MRI results.
Zena - you don't need to go anywhere. We're a diverse bunch of ladies all with different diagnoses and at different stages, but we all support each other through shared experience of this horrible disease.
Strudel - well done on working today. I popped in to school on Monday for a couple of hours and still not recovered. Don't know what's up this week but I feel really unsettled and anxious - keep worrying that my pathology results are wrong etc, and I think I'm driving my oh mad - he has been so patient through all of this but he told me tonight that I just need to get on with it and move forward - there, my eyes are leaking again at what I perceived as his total lack of understanding. I need to borrow the superhero pants - who's got them at the moment?
Hello to all my lovely friends,
Well have my brain and spinal mri results back for the multiple sclerosis.
The brain scan shows no new lesions/progression which is great but there are a couple of lesions on the spine (thoracic and cervical area of spine) which the neuro says is in keeping with the symptoms I had during the scary b.c journey. My first ever relapse.
The neurologist did say as I have never has a spinal mri before there is nothing to compare it with therefore they could be old ones.
My way of dealing with it is to tell myself they have been there for ages and its onwards and upwards.
The fact I recovered so well from the relapse and the fact I cannot take any meds for the m.s due to the tamoxifen (oncologist had said) there really is no point in worrying now.
My lower back still aches but as I had the full spine mri I am putting it to the back of my head as best I can. Lots and Lots of love to you all, you are all truly an inspiration . Mary xxxx
I always love reading your posts.
My seroma has come back and I now look like I have had a breast reconstruction again - but the hospital said that they would only be able to drain it another 2 times, so I'm going to leave it and let it absorb back into my body, it's uncomfortable but bearable.
My other boob hurts right near the nipple, I'm not sure if it is period pains, as I was told to come off my pill way back in November, but I haven't had a period, but I'm getting really bad stomach pains.
I'm on my third day back to work - it's so lovely, just carrying on pretending nothing has happened. I work with robotic demolition machines and love going into work. I'm left to do what I want, when I want, just as long as everything gets done, everyone is happy.
My new hat for my bald head arrived today and the onicolife drops for my nails - still doesn't seem real though.
Hugs to you and everyone else.
Helena - I hope your rads went o.k. today - how many left now? I know they finish on my birthday, so a double celebration 😀😀😀
Strudel & Emily - what are your treatment plans - I don't seem to be able to keep up with all comments, have you both escaped chemo?
Just so you feel better, I had DCIS, plus an invasive tumour, Grade 3 with node involvement. Things have gone well with mastectomy and ANC, chemo (doing my last cycle as I write) with radiotherapy to follow.
Not all of us have escaped node involvement but we will still get through it.
(Am I allowed a different yay for the end of chemo 😉?)
Thank you all so much for the warm welcome! It's just so nice to know you're not alone isn't it, it makes all the difference.
Huge hugs to those who are waiting nervously for results or who have recieved the horrible news recently and are waiting to hear what's next.
I'm just taking each step as it comes with no expectations of what will happen and that seems to be working for me in terms of coping day to day. I'm on my second day back at work and although I'm a bit tired it hasn't been too bad so far, though it does all seem a bit pointless now in the grand scheme of things!
FIngers crossed that there's no weather disruption for you guys who are having your Rads.
Feel a bit selfish Ali as I usually love the snow! I work very locally to home so can walk if the weathers bad - just a very nervous driver - I had an accident 35 years ago and have been lacking in confidence since!
It's forecast in London on Thursday evening. Selfishly I really, really want it to snow. Only times I've seen snow in the UK as an adult, I've been in roles that made it a problem. So bring it on. I'm up for snowman building on Friday.
In other news, I'm about to cut my own hair. It's pretty long right now and I wear it up. It should be falling out by Monday, so I don't really see what harm it can do. Worst case I'll have to break out the wigs/scarves a bit early. Always fancied cutting it myself, so might as well grasp the moment.
I'll report back
Have a good day everyone.