Thank you for that. I also feel unusual to hv been rediagnosed after many years. My mum helps as she also had 2 separate diagnosis and is 80 now. I'm physically ok. I returned to work on a phased return and they have been great. I think it has helped me dwelling on cancer all the time. I accept now that I may always be looking over my shoulder but just have to live. X
I have just come across your posts which were reassuring for me as I have had breast cancer twice too. I thought I was a complete freak. I was diagnosed in 1995 at the age of 37 and then with a new primary twenty years later. I have recently completed all my treatment and am back at work. I struggle with fatigue this time, my job consumes all of my energy and my nearest and dearest are concerned that this maybe detrimental to making a full recovery. Having had BC twice I feel very vulnerable although I try to shelve these thoughts as I must stay positive. I have a lot to be thankful for
I have had cancer twice - last year. Firstly I had breast cancer and started treatment in March and then when on the road to recovery was diagnosed with bowel cancer. Surgery in Sept and now just about recovered from that episode. I was so certain I had it all under control as I had chosen not to have chemo and felt that was my bette noir. Now I am really struggling with trusting my body again just when everyone I love around me is moving on as I am 'cured' in their eyes. I am terrified of what the future holds, my body failed me, what else lies around the corner unknown. One of my daughters courageously contacted my GP as she was so concerned by my mental state. I am now awaiting counselling which I feel is the way forward. I feel stuck and unhappy although most people believe I am fine. I am alive after all so I should be grateful shouldnt I? It is not that easy to forget all the fear and sadness. It is all very individual and complex so please dont ever feel you should be anything you dont actually feel, just allow yourself to acknowledge how you feel each day and deal with it. Just for the record I was a mental health nurse, psychotherapist and hypnotherapist: firstly a nurse by background and still all this swept me off my feet! I discovered I have human frailties as much as the next person which is a revelation having spent my professional career as a rescuer for everyone else. I hope you all get the support you need as its not exactly quickly forthcoming - I have been waiting months for counselling and may contact other agencies.
Wishing you all well.
I have also had cancer twice. The first time in 2012 and I was diagnosed again in Nov 2015. It was another lump in the same place. Luckily I had a mx but no chemo which was a huge relief.
My emotions have been up and down so much. Relief that the cancer has not spread but then depression due to having to go through this stress again. I wasn't going to get counselling etc as I thought what's the point, I know it all, but I think i should reach out and take all the support offered. I have a long journey ahead of me again.
I know just what you mean when you say you feel lost. I recently finished treatment for my second primary BC too. I had mascetomy, chemo and radio in 1999 at the tender age of 26. Got diagnosed with another primary in the other breast in 2014 and had lumpectomy, chemo and radio. Now on Tamoxifen and just starting back at work. I too have had amazing support from friends, family and work but emotionally and psychologically it is tough. I feel like I am having to rebuild myself right from the foundations. I thought cancer was a one time thing that I'd moved on from, then it rocked back up again like a very unwelcome friend! I have really benefitted from counselling which the BC nurses referred me to within the hospital. Talking to a professional psychologist experienced in the effects cancer can have on a person has been so helpful. If you can get some, I'd recommend it. Most importantly don't worry about feeling lost - it's normal. I'm lost too!!
You certainly sound like you having a tough time at the moment and i feel sure that someone will be along soon to offer support and share experiences. In the meantime, please do give out support line a call, there will be someone you can talk to and ask questions of. 0808 800 6000.
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I had my first b cancer in 2001. Mastect/reconstr. I was diagnosed again last June with a new primary. Chemo first then mast/recon with temp expander in Nov. This is still ongoing not expanded yet. The docs say I've done well and I didn't need radiotherapy. I finish herceptin in April. I've a great family and work are also v supportive but I now feel completely lost. I'm too tired to do much and the thought of returning to work terrifies me as my job will hv to change as it was a physical job. Every aspect of my life seems to hv altered and yet I should be glad to be alive shouldn't I ??