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I am going crazy

9 REPLIES 9
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Re: I am going crazy

Oh Dear Miriam, I know you must be so worried about your sister and the situation she finds herself in. How is she coping with the news herself ? I am sure she will be given the strength from somewhere to get through this. When she starts her treatment everything will start to happen fast but in the meantime just give her all the support you can. My Cousin in Aussie helped me through some very difficult times. I do not have any siblings , but my cousin and I are very close , as I have always had a wonderful relationship with my Auntie, her Mum . She sent me cards, inspirational books, letters, poetry, book marks with poignant sayings on, little keep sakes for my purse with "be strong " on and other stuff that I had never ever seen before. When I got post from her I was always thrilled as I knew it was getting me through the tough times. Nobody said that life was going to be easy, but just as long as you are there for your sister and she knows you love her very much she will get by. I just pray that her husaband will have the willpower to stay around and help with the childre. If he leaves then he is not worth the space or time and effort. We will all be in the Rant and Rave corner about him, especially if your sister still loves him. What is your sisters name ?
Sending you, your sister and all your family, lots of love , hugs and healing thoughts Tracy xxx
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Re: I am going crazy

Thanks for your replies,I am overwhlemed by the support i m receiving here,I am passing it to her so she can be reassured, I called her today she said she has to make soups and eat good food , she said that will prepare her for the treatements.....she doesn t want to be frail............no one really deserve this,she hasn t lived her life at all,i wish i could take her somewhere nice,i want her to see the world to have fun,she did not have any life and now this.......is there a GOD really it just not fair....i m sorry i m just crying my eyes out.........this is really not fair.
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Re: I am going crazy

Kari, the lymph nodes are in the armpit. Their job is to fight off infections, so the fact that the cancer is in these nodes is not necessarily anything to panic about. It may have got no further. The MRI scan on Thursday will find out if it has gone anywhere else in her body. Many, many people have one, some or several lymph nodes with cancer cells in, but none anywhere else! She will then be told what treatments she will have, surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy - not necessarily all of them and not necessarily in that order.

It really is true that once she has her treatment plan it does get easier. She will have something to focus on. It doesn't matter how much she understands (or wants to know!) about her diagnosis, as the medical team will do what is best for her particular cancer.

Try to understand that her OH is probably very scared. Some men find it really difficult to cope with these stressful times, and they are not as good as us at admitting it! Mine included, but he has actually been surprisingly supportive most of the time.

I hope everything works out OK for your sister. She WILL get through this, and I'm sure she appreciates your love and support - even if it does have to be from a distance.
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Re: I am going crazy

Hello Miriam,your sister is lucky to have you for support.My timeline was find lump see doctor 1 week later,go to breast unit for tests 2 weeks later,back to breast unit for results 1 week later.Told need op to remove lump and remove 2 nodes in armpit to check for cancer in them.Op scheduled for 4 weeks later (14dec12)Follow up appt for results of op and treatment 5 weeks later 18jan13 appt encologist to sign up for chemo then radio 1 week later.First chemo 15feb13.I hope this helps you understand the waiting periods.Good Luck to your sister and I hope she is well as soon as possible Love Chris xxx
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Re: I am going crazy

Thank you all for your responses. My sister doesn t want to know much about her illness other than it cancer and in her left breast,she missed the doctor saying that it was found in her armpit as well which she said it very commen...!! is ignorance a bliss or does she need to know every detail about her illness...!! I got really scared when she said armpit but i didn t want to tell my sister,i just wanted her to think it simple,it a lump and is going to be removed and that s that,am i doing the wrong thing..!! her english is not very good that why i had to translate.
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Re: I am going crazy

Hi Miriam,
Just wanted to say I'm so sorry about your sister's diagnosis. the first few weeks are particularly scary and I can understand how hard it's been for you to leave her, especially if you don't feel that she has the support at home. There is a private Facebook group aimed at younger women. Everyone on there is incredibly supportive and it's a place to go to when you need to chat, cry or offload. You can find the link on the Younger Women's forum page on here or go on Facebook and search for Younger Breast Cancer Network - you should be able to find the public page and you can then message the adminers who will add your sister to the group. Wishing your sister and you all the best.xxx
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Re: I am going crazy

Hi there Miriam, I'm so sorry to hear of your sisters diagnosis. I so hope she has a friend near her as well as her husband. Also if her English is as good as yours she will be able to get lots of support from this site.
I know a month seems a very long time and the waiting is very frightening but the doctors do have a good understanding of what is going on and really won't let her wait unless it is safe. They have to carry out tests to find out all about the cancer and how best to treat it.
Once they have that information they will treat her with surgery or chemotherapy or radiotherapy or all three. As far as I understand the cancer can't grow so fast to hurt any other part of her body in the time she is waiting.
When they have all the information from the tests everything will be much more clear, she'll have a treatment plan and you will be able to help her get throside it.
you can both call the help line on this site for advice, they are all very helpful.
I wish you all the very best,
MM
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Re: I am going crazy

Hi Miriam , just to help you with your concerns about time i thought i would post, I'm 41 & was dx on 11th Dec , I had a lumpectomy & full auxillary node clearance on 28th Dec , I started chemo on 29th January , everyone else may have different timescales but like you I thought it took forever but actually this seems standard , the " waiting room " is dreadful whether its waiting for results or surgery .
please let your sister know it somehow becomes easier once a treatment plan is known , to use this site or macmillans & not to google the Internet ! This site has loads of lovely people just here for advice or help with emotions etc & we all know what your sister is going through,
I wish her luck , it's a rollercoaster & you can't get off but it's " do able "
take care xx
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Re: I am going crazy

Hi Miriam,

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care Discussion Forums. I'm sorry to hear about your sister's diagnosis, while you're waiting for responses from other forum users I thought it might be helpful to post a link to information aimed at people who are newly diagnosed with breast cancer. Please do also give our Helpline a call (or pass the number onto your sister) if it would help to talk to someone in confidence, Tel. 0808 800 6000 open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis?utm_source=Homepage&%3Butm_medium=help_you&%3Butm_campaign=diagnosis

With best wishes,

Anna, BCC Facilitator

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I am going crazy

Hi lovely brave people,

I am writing this on behalf of my sister who has been diagnosed with breast cancer last thursday,we all as family are devestated,she lives in leicester ,we live in France,she is here with her husband and 4 little kids,her husband is not the kind of person to be supportive, they are not the best of couple,i was with her when she is been told this news,i left her yesterday on her own as i had to leave, i have to start work tomorrow,i m just too confused, a 38 year with BC no support from a husband who has already started saying that he wouldn t be able to cope, he is thinking of leaving her, 4 little kids the eldest is 14 ,it just a mess,i have a question how long between a diagnose and the treatement, they said a month which i thought it too long,she has her scan MRI on tuesday and two weeks later the result,on the 7th of march,and then they will tell her what their descision is for her treatement,i don t know how it works over here in england but i thought it too long and it could reach other part of her body.please I am desperate i dunno what to do if only she had inssurance in france ,i would of brought her here but it too complicated with the kids at school and everything else.....the lump was found 4 weeks ago...!!
,
thank u all,

from a very loving sister,

miriam