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I am in a really surreal place.........

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, thank you for your wonderful honest posts. Truly amazing lady never to be forgotten. Gentle hugs x majelsty

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare - I have enjoyed the time we have spent together on here- even if I havent posted much you have been on my mind every day - thank you. You have been funny, dignified, honest and a joy to read. We probably dont have the same views spiritually - but I hope you will let me send you the blessings of the Goddess as you move towards crossing over.
Thank you and bless you
kaj
xxxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dear Potmaid,
I don't feel qualified at all to post here as I am a fraud who found herself here in a total panic about lumps that ended up being cysts. I have been incredibly touched by what you have written to date, and just wanted to send you a hug, and to let you know that you have touched the hearts of many many people. I hope that you get the relief from the pain that you need, and I am sure you are surrounded by the love of your family and friends, and it has been a privelege to have read what you have written.
You are an inspiration to us all.

God bless xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Twinky what wonderful words - count me in, I would love to attend a meeting of Claredrops xxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Twinks, we need a 'LIKE' button! And see your PMs, just sending you one now.

CM
x

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

It's been an honour Clare to get to know you these last few months, time that you didn't think you would have at the back end of last year. So generous to share your time & energy with us & so much fun too with lots of food & giggles. I also had the pleasure of meeting both of your wonderful children & also the mad man of Borneo who lurks in your garden 😉

If there was anything that we could do to stop the inevitable we would but we have to accept that your time is coming to an end & your priority is your family now. You will never be forgotten & will live on in the hearts of those lucky enough to meet you & those that followed you on here. It would give me great pleasure to continue organising meet ups for those that would like to have a meal & giggle & toast you. It's important we all support one another & find the strength to face whatever life throws at us as we have seen you do. I hope that knowing us too helped keep a smile on your face in your darker moments. We will never look at a snowdrop again without thinking of you & I know your fish pie recipe has been enjoyed by many. See you have touched us all & we hope you understand how much you've come to mean to us all.

Thank you for everything

Twinky x

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare,

Thank you for sharing your life with us these last few months, you have been a true inspiration to me and I will never forget you.

Much much love to you and your family

Jules

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I have been following this thread for a good 3 months,....I'm no one special,just an ordinary,30 something mum of two,who was diagnosed with a fibroadenoma in my right breast.
I came to this site and lurked whilst waiting for my appointment,...continued to lurk whilst waiting for my biopsy results,and when I got the all clear,I still found myself returning to this post because I somehow felt so touched by the courage,grace and bravery of this incredibly special lady,......I don't know you Claire,and you don't know me,but my heart has been touched by you,.....you are amazing.
Sending my love to you and your family my darling.
Xxx
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I can only echo what everyone else has said - sending lots of love to you and your family. I hope your precious time is as pain free as it can be. Gel X

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Kind of off topic but not, if anyone's thinking of texting me, I've lost my phone so won't get texts. I can pick up voicemails but won't know if anybody texts me.

Clare, everyone, including me, is sending you love. I hope it gives you some comfort.

CM
x

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare

I have been a lurker from day one on your forum and have gone through many emotions reading your thoughts and the lovely times that you have had with your family, friends and some of the ladies on this site.
You have inspired so many people and I truly hope that you will feel comforted by the love that surrounds you on your journey ahead.

Liz x

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

HI Clare
I don't comment very often but I am thinking of you and your family, you are truely inspirational. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us as often as you have, I will always think of you when I see claredrops.
All the best
Weme

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thinking about you today Care and hoping that you are comfortable. Gentle hug, Val

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, You are truly an insperational lady that has given us the pleasure in getting to know you and you lovely family. I hope you have a lovely day with your dad today, and that the pain relief works well for you. I know that deep down all us stage iv ladies know that at some point we will face what you are going through and I know we will take strength from your unselfish and positive comments on this thread. Sending you all my love Roz xxxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare I really hope you get some good pain relief and they can make you more comfortable. Thinking of you and your lovely children
Much love Marina xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Much love to you Clare, G x

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Clare

Sending love to you & your family
Take care
Gillian xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dear Clare,
I have read your post last night and have been numb ever since. I have tried to post but have been unable. As I have told you before, I came back to the forum after my secondary diagnosis; this was just before Christmas and you were trying to make sense of the news you were given. You have forced me to look at myself in the mirror, look at everyone around me, and pick myself up and enjoy every moment. You ARE a true inspiration to all of us, you will stay in your hearts forever. Claredrops will always have a special place in our hearts. My love to you and your kids.

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dear Clare
We all knew this post would come but as I sit here with tears running down my cheeks I don’t want it to be real. Thank you for all you have shared with us, it has been a privilege to be part of your thread. You will live on in our hearts and memories and be especially present when the Claredrops pop up next year.
I hope that the pain relief and the hospice give you the peace and comfort you so deserve.
My love to you and your family.
Diana xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I have followed your thread for quite a while,
and send love to you and your family, you are one
amazing lady...
Jay X

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dear Clare, I don't post very often but I wanted to say that you have touched my heart and it has been a privilege to know you through this thread. Much love and strength to you and your family at such a difficult time.
Love from Lizzie xxxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Your poem Clare is exquisite. I like the idea of the balloons floating up into the clear blue sky

Sending much love to you and the family xxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Morning, hope the sun is shinning where you are. its a beautiful morning up North. I just wanted to say you have touched so many people including me and you will always stay with me god bless you and i hope the gardens are beautiful where you are going .
Love to you and your family xxxx

Community Champion

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dear Clare, you have given us yet another honest post, unfortunately the one we didn't want to get and I echo everything that all the other lovely ladies on this thread have said. It has been a joy and pleasure to know you through this thread and it has shown us all how to enjoy and carry on with our lives. You have been a real star my dear and I am so sorry I wasn't able to make the two meet ups that you had. Wishing you and your family as many precious moments as you can grab, thinking of you all, especially as you have given us such a lovely insight to your wonderful family, we almost know them as well as we know you 🙂
Take care
Nicky xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you Clare for sharing this time with us. I have not posted but have followed you on your journey. My wish for you is complete peace and contentment in the next stage of your journey. I hope when my time comes I can take inspiration from you.

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dear Claredrops,
we all love and feel for you a candle will burn for you in the dark woods chapel,
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=ddw

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dear Clare,
Thank you for what you have shared. Now share your time with the family and, I hope you have some happy time in the garden
Love from Lavender

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Oh Clare
I am so sorry that you have had to post bad news. Like so many others I have been privileged to share a small part of your life over the last five months. You have brought joy, sorrow, hope , love, tears and smiles to us. Thinking of you and your family,
with love, Mo xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dear Clare, what a priviledge it has been to be able to follow your thoughts and daily pleasures and struggles over the last few months. You are one very special lady and my thoughts will be with you and your family over the next wee while.
Sending you and your loved ones all my love
Alanaa and Fat Cat xxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, Just feel so very sad. Sorry that things have deteriorated. You have been an inspiration. Much love, Val

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Clare,

Enjoy the treasured time spent with your nearest and dearest; my heart goes out to you, your family and your friends.

For me it's been a massive privilege to look into your thread and read your daily diary. Your cheerfulness, kindness shown to others, and strength of character are admirable.

Thank you so much for everything you've taught me.

With much love to you and yours,

Libby xxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

You come first always!
Your children and family need to spend as much time with you as they can......so of course we are in the background hovering and wishing you so much joy and contentment with your kith and kin.
It has indeed been a priviledge to know you and read your honest and uplifting posts that we have all treasured.
I know for one that I am a better person to have met you here.
You secondary ladies sure do teach us about the value of living.... I read the most wonderful post from Laurie today about living in the present and that's what both of you are advocating for all of us. Such wisdom!
Thank you Clare for being such a delight to know and through your sister we will read about your next days, and the days after that and the days after that........ The quality of such days is what's important for all of us and I sincerely hope you can be comfortable without any pain so that painkillers don't erode your precious time with your lovely family.
My love to them but especially to you Clare. I hope you can really feel our love and thanks.
You are a gift to all of us. Bless you, precious lady.

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare
So good of you to post. Glad to hear that you are back home, getting some time in this beautiful sunshine, surrounded by those who you love and who love you.
We talk so little about death and dying - all the euphamisms - passing on, slipping away. You are going with such grace. As a stage IV woman who is also moving towards death, you have helped me to accept and demystify what I will probably go through. This hasn't been some cod-Hollywood tragedy - moving towards the death bed scene. It's been about a really inspirational woman, living her life with sadness but acceptance and making the most of every day.
I'm so glad I got to meet you Clare and I hope the coming days and perhaps weeks with your family are pain free, comfortable and filled with many happy moments as you make great memories for you family to treasure.
Lots of love, hugs and strength to all you family. You will be missed and remembered for a long time to come.
Laurie x

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare I'm so sorry hope y not in touch pain I've loved reading your post your a amazing lady thinking of u all Laura xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you so much Clare for this wonderful thread, you are amazing, you have made us laugh and cry, you have shared so much with us all.
Sending much love to you and your family xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, you have been wonderful and thank you so much for your honesty and for sharing with us all. You have no idea how many of us you have helped with your courage, honestly and humanity. You have given us more than anyone could possibly have expected and this is absolutely your time. We are with you, praying for you and sending you cyber hugs and best wishes. We will meet again sweet lady

Community Champion

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Clare,
Glad you are home ,sorry the pain is not under control but hope the new tablets will put that right.
Your last post must have been a very difficult one to write,though not as hard as the conversation you had to have with your children.
It has been an absolute honour to have shared the past months with you on your journey. I am a secondary woman myself and you have set such an example, I hope I will be able to emulate you and offer hope and support to others.
I am sorry I never got to meet you in person but I like to picture you in your garden surrounded by birdsong. We knew this news would come but of course it still seems somehow unreal but I am so glad to hear that you are feeling calm.I hope they find you a bed in the hospice near to the garden and you will be comfortable and peaceful.
You will remain in my thoughts and prayers and my love is with you. You must try to enjoy the time you have with your loved ones, don't worry about us,though if your sister is up to it we would like to know how things are going. You have touched many lives Clare and you will be remembered fondly by many.Continue the way you've always been,take each day as it comes and get whatever you can from everyday. With strength and love and many thanks, Julie xx
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you Clare for sharing the past few months with us - you are an inspiration to us all and have helped me understand this terrible situation a lot more.

Enjoy your time with your wonderful children and family, it's been a pleasure to be part of the Claredrops.

Axx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Sending lots of love Clare. Hope you manage to get comfortable and spend some good time with your family.
Thank you so much for all the precious time you have spent with us.
DX

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare its sad to read your latest update but im so glad you have shared your last few months with us in such an open and encouraging way and im sure you have inspired many including me.

I hope you are comfortable and enjoy some special time with your family.... The image of you in your lovely garden in the sun with the birds and he bees is how I'll remember you 🙂

Much love to you Clare and to all your family and to all the Claredrops xxxx
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Clare,
Firstly, you don't have a selfish bone in your body so shooosh! Secondly, please don't feel you are expected to acknowledge my feeble response.
You are always so gracious and articulate and it has been a pleasure to have had your company over the past few months. I am thinking of you and your lovely family and sending out love and hugs.
All my love Carolyn xxxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Much love to you and your family. Xxxxxxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hello Clare,
On behalf of all the moderators here I'm sorry to hear of your current situation and hope that you are comfortable. I am sure your fellow forum users will be posting soon to give you some much needed support, so if you are able, do keep reading.
Take care and kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

...for sharing as much as you have with us. As a lurker, but one who regularly looks in on you, as I know so many do, you have been an inspiration.

I know you probably cringe when people say this, but you have been so brave. Brave in the way that you have been so honest, so open and just tackled life head on, whatever it has thrown at you.

Thank you again and I hope your last few days and weeks are as you want them to be.

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hello all, glad to be back home, not exactly as I had hoped as I am in much pain but am on a different painkiller now as my calcium wont go away. This will hopefully keep my kidneys being overwhelmed.
Thank you so much for this last 5 months, it has really been surreal and fun and overwhelming that you all offer your love and care so freely to me, I know no words to express it really. I can try but inside its a warm niceness........
Basically what I am working up to say is that the come back kid has reached the end of the line, all my organs now are a threat, my drain 11 litres off, it has nearly all come back and that was only on monday. I called my darling children in and told them that I have days mayb a week or so, depending how the new drugs kick in. My wishes are now that as soon as I can't be mobile I will go to the hospice and I have asked my sister Jane to post on here for me.
I wont be going back into hospital whatever happens, just here oor hospice.
I am reasonably calm and relaxed, now I am home with my children, It was killing me to tell them such devastating news and then have them leave but I was in a lot of pain. I am sitting out in the garden, where I love to be, listening to birds and bees and smelling the scented flowers, its bliss..............
I'm sorry to everyone that offered to visit but I really haven't the energy and I am leaving the next days to be with my family and a few others. Its hard because I'd love to see you but I just have nothing to give that are not 5 minute bursts. I hope you understand that this is my time to be selfish as I really don't know if I will be here tomorrow.
Hopefully I will be and try and post again, I'm having a day with dad tomorrow which will be nice
Love to you all
Clare xxx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Have to agree with you, it's like a maze! Hope things go well for you Twinky and thank you for the up date!!
RevCat is off on her hols at the moment in Hungary.
Beautiful sunny day here, love to Clare, drops and extras xx

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Laurie-Good idea re bumping regularly- hope you get the info you are looking for soon ((()))xxx
Twinky -hope the next dosing isn't too bad and thanks for all the Clare updates ((()))xxx
Clare -hope to hear that you are at home again very soon.((()))xxx
CM -hope the job goes well and no more problems with the SS.((()))xxx
Vercors- keep on walking!! ((()))xxx LOL wish you could do mine for me- the dreaded Letrozole SE seem to be getting worse not better -I'll reach the feeling of a 200 year old at this rate.
Lots of hoping going on there - looking forward to seeing this in the latest posts all the time from now on.

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hey Laurie,
RecCat is on holiday in Hungary (lucky her).
It is so difficult with the new site. I bookmarked this thread to make sure I would not lose it.
Clare,
Welcome home! My offer of a visit still stand if/when you are up to it.
Take care everyone.

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Well lets keep bumping this up and maybe when Clare is feeling a bit better she'll be able to check it out, even if she doesn't feel up to posting.
Where is RevCat? Haven't seen her name around for a bit. Nice to see familiar names popping up with their news. Hope No 5 is not too tough on you Twinky!
Coming on these forums now feels a bit like playing blind mans buff (or is it bluff?) We wander around, blindly stumbling into different forums, taking the blindfolds off as we greet people we know then as soon as they're back on and we leave the room we can't find them again LOL (or maybe not such LOL).
Hope I don't lose you all again!
Laurie x

Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Sorry, took so long for my post to register I clicked the Post button again (after at least 20 seconds) and it posted my message twice.