Hello all, glad to be back home, not exactly as I had hoped as I am in much pain but am on a different painkiller now as my calcium wont go away.
This will hopefully keep my kidneys being overwhelmed.
Thank you so much for this last 5 months, it has really been surreal
and fun and overwhelming that you all offer your love and care so freely to me, I know no words to express it really. I can try but inside its a warm niceness........
Basically what I am working up to say is that the come back kid has reached the end of the line, all my organs now are a threat, my drain 11 litres off, it has nearly all come back and that was only on monday. I called my darling children in and told them that I have days mayb a week or so, depending how the new drugs kick in. My wishes are now that as soon as I can't be mobile I will go to the hospice and I have asked my sister Jane to post on here for me.
I wont be going back into hospital whatever happens, just here oor hospice.
I am reasonably calm and relaxed, now I am home with my children, It was killing me to tell them such devastating news and then have them leave but I was in a lot of pain. I am sitting out in the garden, where I love to be, listening to birds and bees and smelling the scented flowers, its bliss..............
I'm sorry to everyone that offered to visit but I really haven't the energy and I am leaving the next days to be with my family and a few others. Its hard because I'd love to see you but I just have nothing to give that are not 5 minute bursts. I hope you understand that this is my time to be selfish as I really don't know if I will be here tomorrow.
Hopefully I will be and try and post again, I'm having a day with dad tomorrow which will be nice
Love to you all