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I am in a really surreal place.........

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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Dearest Clare. You have certainly touched my heart. You just have so much joy in life and those around you and Jamie and Aisling will follow that on. Much love Julia x
Emperortooco
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Soo pleased that you had a fantastic day, you,ve shared so much with us all, thank you for the laughs, tears and words of inspiration that will stay with me always. Xx

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Clare, so glad you enjoyed your day today, sounds like you had a great time. Friends, family, flowers, burgers and poker sounds like a fun day, hope it hasn't tired you out too much. I certainly wouldn't say the medication has made you duller, hope your check up goes ok on Monday. Thinking about you take care love junieliz x
nicky08
Community Champion

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Morning Clare 🙂
I hope you managed to get some more shut eye and not wake Brenda. You certainly have some lovely friends and family who care for you so much and I'm glad you are having a few giggles and enjoying yourself with them. Cakes and burgers sounded fab as well 😉
Hoping for another day full of the same - well, maybe not burgers and cakes again - just laughter and love.
Nicky xx

moser
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, I am going to take a leaf out of your mums book and get planting my pots up today. Hope you have a lovely day today too. Xxx

Tolliebelle
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare I too have followed your last few months on this thread. You are one amazing lady and it has been a pleasure and a privilege to know you through this thread. I am so pleased you had such a lovely day yesterday and hope you have more to come. I don't really know how to put into words.................
God bless you and your family.
Jill xxxxxx
RevCat
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Morning Clare! I so hope you are able to spend nother day enjoying your garden and the love of your dear ones; birdsong in your ears and the gentle scent of flowers.
This Pentecost Sunday, which I guess will be significant for your family, I pray the gentle touch of God's Ruach (breeze/gentle wind) on you all.
Go well, sweet, wise, Clare.
lbx157
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, words fail me! I have never met you but you are the most beautiful person I know .
You are truly inspirational. You have changed my way of thinking completely & in a way that I can't explain you have made my life more meaningful. If only the world was full of "Clares" it would be a far, far better place .
I am holding you and your family in my thoughts, my prayers & my heart every day.
God bless you.
Sheila xxx

ragamuffin
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare I'm so pleased to hear you are having some happy times with your friends and family, I bet the planted pots look great and are giving you much pleasure. I had Fish Pie a la Clare for dinner last night- yummy! Thank you again for sharing not just your life but recipes and plant knowledge too!
Lots of love Diana xx

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare was lovely to hear from you I'm so glad u managed to post and have had a lovely time with your family I'm hoping your pain can be sorted big hugs and a few tears Laura xx
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Good morning to you all, all be it early LOL
I have had the most amazing few days, full of laughter, joy, surprises and a few special tears...............
Mum did come on Friday and true to her word, planted all my pots up with the most beautiful flowers, I had a cream cake fest (cassie got a pigs ear) from the lovely lady I used to work for and a splendid boquet from my dear Auntie Milly and uncle Eric who have rang me constantly and cheered me up every day, I used to groan sometimes when the phone rang at 9.30am every morning but always appreiciated it really. She and he are 94 87 respectively and they have known me since I was 11.
Then today really has been amazing...........The kids and new girlfriend and XOH all went off to London today which meant I could see my friend Kevin who I played poker with for 5 years, we keep the XOH and he away from each other as he was always suspisious. Its the first time Kev has been to the house, plenty of opportunity but he always honoured XOH's territority before...........
Then my sister and kids arrived, they have known him a few years , as have my parents. In between all that my bestest buddy suddenly arrived, drove from Amsterdam. She is sleeping with me and I am trying not to keep her awake........... Then Kev departed and between jane's and my fridge we had 10 for burgers and salad and sat out and put the worl to rights with intermittent snoring bits from me. All in all the most fab day I could have dreamt and you know there are perks to being ill.............you do no prep or cleaning up LOL
Your posts overwhelmed me, once again, lovely to see you back REV and Julie ( lost 4 words ) that poem really touched me, ty x
Medically, I'm stable, pain and tiredness have kicked in, now on double dose from just a few days ago but it hasn't made me duller.........well I don't think so yet.............. LOL Being checked out Monday 🙂
Well I hope Brenda is in deep sleep mode as I will try and get back to bed........ Love to all x
Clare xxx
Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Good morning to you all, all be it early LOL
I have had the most amazing few days, full of laughter, joy, surprises and a few special tears...............
Mum did come on Friday and true to her word, planted all my pots up with the most beautiful flowers, I had a cream cake fest (cassie got a pigs ear) from the lovely lady I used to work for and a splendid boquet from my dear Auntie Milly and uncle Eric who have rang me constantly and cheered me up every day, I used to groan sometimes when the phone rang at 9.30am every morning but always appreiciated it really. She and he are 94 87 respectively and they have known me since I was 11.
Then today really has been amazing...........The kids and new girlfriend and XOH all went off to London today which meant I could see my friend Kevin who I played poker with for 5 years, we keep the XOH and he away from each other as he was always suspisious. Its the first time Kev has been to the house, plenty of opportunity but he always honoured XOH's territority before...........
Then my sister and kids arrived, they have known him a few years , as have my parents. In between all that my bestest buddy suddenly arrived, drove from Amsterdam. She is sleeping with me and I am trying not to keep her awake........... Then Kev departed and between jane's and my fridge we had 10 for burgers and salad and sat out and put the worl to rights with intermittent snoring bits from me. All in all the most fab day I could have dreamt and you know there are perks to being ill.............you do no prep or cleaning up LOL
Your posts overwhelmed me, once again, lovely to see you back REV and Julie ( lost 4 words ) that poem really touched me, ty x
Medically, I'm stable, pain and tiredness have kicked in, now on double dose from just a few days ago but it hasn't made me duller.........well I don't think so yet.............. LOL Being checked out Monday 🙂
Well I hope Brenda is in deep sleep mode as I will try and get back to bed........ Love to all x
Clare xxx
donnad
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Claire, just thankyou - for being you.
I am at a loss what to say but feel I must thank you for being yourself.
My stage 4 journey is quite new but boy have you given me some strength! Thats the way to do it girl!!
I've been away for a week and have just been reading the thread - the tears came and all I can say is thank you again
Donna x

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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Just Would like to send my love to clare and her family.What a amazing lady.
jenny
Alto
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I don't post much these days but I just wanted to say thank you Clare. You've given so much and are much loved in return.

I really hope the medics have managed to sort out your pain and that you are feeling relaxed and peaceful, enjoying your family and your garden, listening to the birds sing. I'm so glad you proved them wrong and have lived long enough to see another beautiful season arrive.

You have given Jamie and Aisling such a wonderful start in life and I'm sure Jane, your parents and the rest of your family will continue your good work as they grow into young adults you can be proud of.

May peace, love and gardens of flowers be with you all.

Jane xxx
myrtleju
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Another lurcker what can I say but God Bless you are an amazing lady shareing your ups and downs with us I will always remember you with more ups than downs may the angels wrap you
in their wings and take you to the snowdrop garden up above xxx
lucinda
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare you have really been an inspiration to all who have avidly followed your thread.I really hope your pain is currently under control and you can spend time with your loving family.Love to you and all your family.It has been a privelege to have shared this precious time with you.
L xx

joanne130
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, I'm another lurker and just want to say what an inspirational lady you are. I hope this message finds you in the garden and spending time with your family. Joanne

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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Claire , Hoep you are in the garden enjoying the sun planets and bird and mainly time with time with your family . Thank you for your wonderful thread . I am in awe of you . Words can not describe you at all . A True strong lady with a mega sense of humour with all your postings on here , Lifting us during the winter months and keeping us going with your life and most amusing to me the lady wee pee , made me cry had tears rolling down my face With Love Rosie aka jenny xxxx
emmy
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I am wishing you peace and love for all that you have given to us all.The funny stories, the humour, the love and for showing us how it should be, many thanks
Em x

RevCat
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, I so hope I am in time to send you my love and gratitude for all that you have shared with us. Claredrops and cupcakes, fish pies and birthdays, sheewees and ladies-wot-lunch... it has been a joy and a privilege.
Clare, please let me offer you two blessings, I feel sure you won't mind...

Deep peace of running waves to you.
Deep peace of flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the watching Shepherd to you.
Deep peace of the Prince of Peace to you.




Clare, may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up the light of his conteneance upon you - and those you love - and give you peace, now and always.

Thank you Clare....
Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Clare thinking of you as we all are love junieliz x
slamer
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Lost 4 Words - Julie, beautifully written, not a lot more to add. Just wishing Clare, that you are painfree with your family close. I've followed your post since day one as a 'lurker', & you've made me laugh & cry, wished I could have met you in person. Sue x

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I am also a lurker and have followed this thread, which was truly an inspiration to read. I really have no idea what to say, I have never met you but you certainly touched my heart.

God bless,
Karen xxx
Lost_4_Words
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

You've shared your journey with us
And all that we can say
Is what a special lady
An inspiration every day
You've made us laugh
You've made us cry
You've left a special mark
And now it's time to leave us
On this journey you must embark
But I and others want you to know
The gift you'll leave behind
Of overwhelming compassion, of dignity and pride
So many things we will recall
And you will spring to mind
And through the tears of sadness
A smile will slowly spread
As we remember you and the memories you've left
The tales of toilet escapades
The she wee, (there's no more to say)
The food you cooked, the giggling
And all the lovely Claredrops we've met along the way
Not forgetting the lurkers of which I know there's many
You've touched the hearts of all who followed
And you've been a joy to know
My wish for you is serenity, peace, joy and love
Surrounded by your family who we know you dearly love

Courageous
Loving
Amazing
Real
Enlightening 

Thank you for sharing your journey
With much love
Julie

Emperortooco
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I guess you can call me a lurker having never posted on this thread but I have followed this thread from day one. This thread has moved me so much ,more so with the latest postings as sadly Claire,s time on this beautiful planet is drawing to a close. We all have to face death at some point as harsh as it sounds it is sadly the one thing in life that we cannot change but I,m sure that all posters and followers on here can take a lot from Claire,s story as if ever there was one inspirational lady that will be with me for the rest of my days it will be Claire, her zest and love of of life has never waned and I know that has been felt by all who have posted and followed this thread so avidly. That's all I can say really, am not great with words but just had to say something (finally) hope your time left Claire is surrounded by your loved ones as you wish just as your virtual life on this forum has been surrounded by many people who have never met you but actually have heaps of love for you. Xxx

katytc
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare, hope your pain is subsiding, thinking of you and sending lots of love to you all xx

vercors
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare,
I hope you can spend some time in the garden with your family peacefully.
Thinking of you lots.

ragamuffin
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Lots of love to you Clare, hope your meds are working and you are no longer in pain. The weather is just as you would wish so I hope that you are able to enjoy your garden.
Wishing love and strength to Jane, Aisling, Jamie and your Mum & Dad who I know you love so much.
Diana xx

nicky08
Community Champion

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Wishing you peace and calm Clare, thank you for letting us into your 'surreal' world for these past 5 months, it's been a joy and a pleasure :-). Thinking of you and your family and hoping for some more precious moments with them. Take care, I am not on the site for a few days and hope to find you here when I get back .
Nicky xx

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Much love and thoughts dear Clare for you and your loved ones. Thank you for being you. xxxx
mfb
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

To Our Very Dearest Clare,
Such a special Lady who has touched so many lives, thank you so much to Clare, for allowing us to be a part of your wonderful world.
Clare, you are an amazing, kind, considerate, selfless, supportive, strong and truly remarkable individual.
So many other incredible Ladies have posted here on your thread; you have simply brought together the best of all that is good in such a positive way, not many people can leave such a legacy.
I think of your children, family and close friends and hope that they will be comforted by the words on this thread and by the love that you have generated. You are a special Lady and in turn your nurturing will have resulted in passing that on to the next generation through your special children.
I wish you peace, comfort and happiness for the memories that you have and will remain as your legacy.
Sxx

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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thinking of you Clare all my love Laura x
GIJaneH
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

 

janipi
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare you are a truly beautiful person. I'm sorry I never got to meet you but it has been an honour to share these last few months. May you be surrounded with peace and love xx

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Sending my love & best wishes to you & your family as you face the coming days/weeks together.
You are a true inspiration to so many of us. I hope they can help to lessen the pain for you & you can spend precious time with those you love and love you back.
Karen xx
foxyferret
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you for sharing these last few months with us. You are one brave and inspirational woman. I hope they can keep you pain free so you can enjoy your garden.

Love and best wishes to you and your family.
Giddy
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Clare
I haven't been on here for a bit but I just wanted to say how truly inspirational you've been to so many people. You're so brave and have faced everything with a smile on your face. You will live on in your children and those who know you. We'll never forget you.
Enjoy this time with your family and friends. I hope your pain is minimal and that you'll be given the best care there is.
Hugs and prayers Chris xx
"what the caterpillar perceives is the
end, to the butterfly is just the beginning"

libsue
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Lovely words, Laurie. I wish I had your eloquence.

I think we all agree with your beautiful message.

x

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Clare, what a wonderful inspirational lady, I hope the pain is under control, thinking about you loads. You will always be thought of with much fondness. Love and best wishes to you and your family, junieliz xx
Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare
So good to hear you talked to your dad and that you are still finding a little energy for the important things. It's is no doubt a truly emotional time - so many goodbyes but as always you are doing what you want to do on your own terms.
Enjoy every minute with your wonderful family making special memories for them to treasure.
I hope you know that there will be many glasses (and bits of fish pie!) raised to you by those of us who have either met you or who have come to know of your incredible spirit through your posts.
Snowdrops will always be Claredrops.
Laurie x
tillybob
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clair. I have read your thread since you began it, I remember you posted on the March chemo thread last year and also before Christmas , when you said you only had a short time left, you have been a friend to so many and it shows in how many people are following your journey. I hope your final days with your beautiful children are pain free and happy, and when you make it up to heaven they have a snowy slope and a sledge waiting so you can feel free again .
Thankyou.xx

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

To Claire , you are a very special lady to me and all the others on here . I am the same age as you just starting my journey on my secondary battle . Thank you for this wonderful thread and allowing me to be part of it . You are totally amazing . Words can not describe how you have helped me in my darks hours . You have been wonderful. I wish you a lovely time with your family and friends today in the garden with the sun flowers and birds . Once again Thank you at a loss what else to say With Love and hugs Rosie Aka Jenn xxx
ragamuffin
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Lots of love to you Clare
Diana xxx

Lavenderlassie
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Love to you and your lovely family and friends.
Lavender
xx

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare,
I just wanted to say may your last days be your best with your beautiful children around you.
Whilst I am going through my bc journey it has been an honour to join in your thread, although I've been a lurker and not so much a joiner you have inspired me.
What a wonderful lady you are. I hope you arent in any pain and I send much love to you.
Love Fran
xxx
libsue
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Aww Clare, you are such a sweetie. I would have loved to have met you, you are truly remarkable, caring, kind, humourous, selfless, inspirational, wonderful, and I love your qualities. Those who know you well - your dear family and close friends, must feel blessed to have you in their lives.

I am so sorry to hear you are in pain and I hope something can be offered to you to alleviate it, and pretty quick.

How lovely that you and your Dad spent a calm day together chatting and you were able to reassure him that he'd never frightened you, infact the opposite - he gave you a feeling of security

Ash's hair sounds beautiful, copper is a lovely warm colour. Bless your son he must have been distraught, but delighted to learn the ambulance wasn't for you.

Enjoy the beautiful flowers in the tubs your Mum is planting for you. I hope the sunsine lasts and you can sit in your garden absorbing it's beauty, watch the birds busying themselves and listen to their chorus.

Much love and gentle hugs,

Libby xxxx

JulieD
Community Champion

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Awww, lovely as usual, bless you Clare xxxx
Lulu34
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Clare thats so lovely and brought tears to my eyes.... You are a such a caring, dignified woman and its been a real privelidge to read you thoughts and feelings over the last few months.... Hoping you enjoy your bluebells and feel peace and comfort from your loving family.

Lxxxx
Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hello I had such a calm day today with my Dad today, not many tears, just calm and chatty. He asked one question in relation to another we were talking about. Like had I ever been scared of him.....I said no never even when it was waiting till he got home to punish me LOL.He has always been there to support me, even now at 46 i could ask anything of him, he's always been my rock............
then a freind came to dye ashys hair, well highlight copper and she looks stunning, the last practical thing I can do for her. it gives her confidence for meeting some new friends and the time ahead. My poor son ran home down the lane tonight as blues and 2's ambulance went steaming down and rushed into my arms tonight, He thought it was for me..........poor luv x
Then bedtime but I woke up for the loo and came on here, not sure what else to say apart from I am so exhausted and in pain but your beautiful comments have done something to spire me on tonight, I'm glad I came.
I was remiss in thanking Twinks and CM and vecores for their constant updates, I will try and keep it flowing till i have no more energy.
My love to you all, don't be too sad, just think I had a 5 extra months till the bluebells came and mum is coming to plant my tubs, as she did last year as she knows it makes me happy.. I have had many emotional calls from worldwide today which has been an emotional whirl.............comforting thoughx Just be please for me that I may die as I wish too with my beloved family around me...............what more can I say
Love Clare xxxx