I am in a really surreal place.........

[GIJaneH]

just to say we're thinking of you lovely lady. may you be out of pain and know peace in this last stage of your journey here. praying for your family too.... rest Clare.... love Jane

[ChoccieMuffin]

Lovely to read your post today, Clare, and I hope today was a happy day for you.

CM
x

[Steris]

Hi Clare,
Lovely to see your post although I'm sad to hear that you are sufffering. I'm on those pain killers and they work well for me so I hope your pain relief consultant make you nice and comfortable so you can get some well needed energy.
.I just want to say that you are an amazing lady and thank you so much for your insight on this journey that no one wantsto take but we all have to
. I wish you peace, calm and enjoy your time with you lovely family and friends. The balloon sounds great and the poem touchs the heart.
With love Chris x x

[junieliz]

Hi Clare, thinking of you love junieliz x

[ragamuffin]

ST I got all of your posts in my hotmail inbox separately so I was shouting too! In fact I got everybodies in my inbox so I was shouting at BCC!
Hope Clare isn't being bothered by them!
Hi Clare glad to hear they've got you on slow release -hope you've got breakthrough meds as well. Keep a note of when you need to take the breakthrough doses so that if necessary they can adjust the dose of the regular slow release medication. Enjoy your day with Jane. Love Diana ((())) xx

[supertrouper]

Stupid me

[supertrouper]

Dear Clare,

I sent the message and it posted it five times!!! I hope it brings a smile to your face to picture me shouting at my stupid IPad in our hotel reception area.

[supertrouper]

stupid me or stupid iPad?

[supertrouper]

stupid iPad

[supertrouper]

Dear Clare,

I am in Corfu enjoying a holiday with my OH, I insisted on bringing my IPad so that I could keep up to date with how you are. So saddened to read of your pain and fingers crossed that the medication kicks in today and you find yourself peaceful and pain free.

xxx

[Lulu34]

Clare hope the slow release oxy starts working for you tonight... Night night sweet dreams xxxx

[libsue]

Clare, sorry to hear you've suffered strong pain today, and I pray your new pain relief has an effect soon, bless you.

Wishing you a sound sleep tonight and a pleasant day in the garden with Jane tomorrow. I hope Jane comes laden with food goodies, some cream cakes would be nice!

I've been filling my tubs with pansies today, also petunia and pelargoniums..........thought of you whilst doing them as you mentioned your Mum was filling your tubs this week; with the glorious weather we're having the plants should quickly mature and spread.

Much love to you Clare,

Libby xxx

[scottishlass]

Fingers crossed the slow release MST does the trick for you Clare. Wishing you a restful sleep and that the pain lessens for you from now on. Night night sleep tight, don't let the fleas bite, as we used to say years ago! val

[potmaid]

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee x

[JulieD]

Fingers crossed for that Clare,hate to think of you in pain,so really really hope the new stuff kicks in and makes you more comfortable.
Looks like the weather may be on the change in the next couple of days so make the most of your garden.
Hope you get some refreshbing sleep tonight.
With love as always Julie xx

[potmaid]

Hiya all
Please don't be worried ladies about my pain relief, its in hand now. Indeed Morphine is a wonderful drug but it was also damaging my kidneys by leaving residue in the kidney, thus compromising it seriously. I have now been changed off Morphine to Oxycodone another drug that works in a similar way, there was just a hicup in getting the slow release version, I had the top up syrup..............yuck!!!! but have just taken the slow release ones for the first time a few minutes ago, hoping it works.............
I have been in so much pain today and unusally this afternoon too, that I have been crying out...........the pain is just where my leg joins my stomach and where the pressue builds up. Hopefully it will settle down in a day and do.well. and stop having such hostile responces.
Hight night xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[scottishlass]

Just back from a few days away and have read pages and pages on here all for you Clare. What a following you have.
Now a tip I learned from a GP friend when I was pacing the floor with pain. He told me "STAY AHEAD OF THE PAIN". In other words he said...do not wait until you have the pain....before you take the painkillers. Take the pain meds when you should and then hopefully you will not get the unbearable pain which I presume you are having
. I have been takin morphine every day for 13 years in slow release form plus other forms when needed.. Morphine is a wonderful drug. People are scared by it (not you Clare but people in general) but it has worked well for me over the years.
You have been a delight to know and I am glad you are spending your remeaining time with your nearest and dearest....But IT IS lovely when we do hear from you. Even just a hello is enough. Love and a gentle hug, Val

[rosiechin]

Claire , Lovely to hear from you , your post never boring . Have a wonderful afternoon claire and ladies and gemtlemen iof any on this thread Love R xx

[RevCat]

Message from GIJaneH who is currently posting in invisible ink on this forum (glitches with android I think)

Jane says:
"Totally moved by walking with you Clare, and echo what everyone's said. I hope your family can print off this thread, they might find it such a comfort both to "hear you speaking" and to see how many unknown lives you've touched. Perhaps that's something BCC could help with, if it's wanted. Be enfolded in God's loving arms, and all the love surrounding you. Xx"

[Harrietxxx]

Never ever dull Clare. You are my first thought in the morning and last at night, it warms my heart every time that I see you have been able to spend another day with your lovely family.

Much love

Jules

[lizzie148]

Dear Clare, it was good to hear from you. So pleased you have such a loving family round you - it makes all the difference. I don't think of you as dull. You're a wonderful and giving person who has touched so many of us. Take care kiddo. Much love xxxx

[Twinky68]

Thank you! Happy to see your smiling face again! An inspiration to us all...

Twinky x x

[RevCat]

Twinky - OK your wish (on this) is my command! May not be exaactly the same as am on a different computer and had to re-edit the original photo!

[ragamuffin]

Hi Clare - I totally agree with what Revcat said, you couldn't be dull even if you tried! And yes- please put yourself first at all times. Don't want to preach or repeat what may have already been suggested but re your pain - you say you take almost no pain killers then the pain gets bad and you take lots.of pain relief. It may work if your background pain relief was a little bit more and continual then you maybe wouldn't get those episodes of extreme pain you describe. It's better to prevent the pain getting bad rather than try to obliterate when it does. Please don't take offence it's just a suggestion.
Hope the weather stays lovely for you and your family so you can enjoy your garden and the birdsong.
Lots of love Diana xx ((()))

[Twinky68]

RevCat.....a slightly off topic post. Please please put your photo back up! It always made me smile to see that lovely photo of you grinning at us all. That is what is what a preacher really looks like....

Hugs

Twinky x

[cherryorchard]

Another lurker here. I feel ashamed I have not posted before but I wanted to let you know that I have followed your story since January and I have never once found you dull! I love your sense of humour and I am in awe of your strength. I hope you soon get some good pain relief and enjoy spending time with your family and friends.
Big Hugs, Cherry x

[katytc]

Clare, hope your pain has lessened now, glad you are seeing your own onc, take care and sending lots of love to you and your family xx

[RevCat]

Never dull Clare, never, ever dull. Honest and beuatiful and humourous.

So glad the massage was good. Hope your onc has something helpful to offer.

Just look after you now, of course we are eager for your news, but more than that we want you to have your special moments with your special people. So glad you have family with you all the time now.

Gentle hugs.

[Lulu34]

Love and hugs clare you made me lol with your Mmmmmmmmms if you post that we will know what you mean now xxx

[JulieD]

oops! double post, deleted post but send double love!! xx

[JulieD]

Not dull Clare, but much appreciated specially as you are so tired. Glad your appt went ok but sorry the calcium is up,hopimg you'll get more feedback from your onc now she is back.
Massage sounds nice and I really hope the painkillers start to kick in so you can be more comfortable and can enjoy having your loved ones around,Hope you manage to get some refreshing sleep to help you face the new day which hopefully will be bright and sunny so you can enjoy your family in your lovely garden.
Night night, lots of love Julie xx

[potmaid]

Hello there
I fell asleep trying to write on here last night and found to my dismay that all I had written was mmmmm about 600 times lol.
I can't reply like I used too as I just don't have the concentration.
My check up was ok, kidneys stable, calcium up again, though......... Going to have my infusion on Friday at the Brodys centre, phew!!!!
My oncologist is back from holiday tomorrow so hopefully she may have an idea on what to do, dunno.
The massage was as ever, soothing but I was in horrible pain this morning but fine by the afternoon, hardly taking any pain killers at all. Now its all back again though, so on nebuliser now and stuffing the pain killers, getting proper ones tomorrow.along with oral thrush stuff. mum is staying with me tonight which is nice and then Jane iis coming wednsday and dad thursday, so far but I am weakening now, find it hard to get in a car now.
Dull update, sorry but thank you for your lovely kind comments, always appreiciated and touched by them
Night night
Clare xxx

[ChoccieMuffin]

Hope you had another lovely day today, Clare, and that the trip to your checkup wasn't too tiring.

[rozvi]

Hi Clare, Just to say hope all goes well for you today and they can sort out good pain relief for you to enjoy special times with your lovely family. Roz

[kajyann]

Just to say hi Clare- thinking of you. Hope the check up goes well and they sort out your pain.
Looking at my beautiful purple clematis outside and thinking of your love of plants. We have loads of baby birds in our trees - all I can hear is chirping and the gentle noise of my wind chimes. I pass those sounds to you, with love.
kaj
xxx

[Cliff_Fan]

Hi Clare hope all goes well for you today,and you carry on with being strong i would like to relay everything that others have said
Good Luck x x x

[RevCat]

Hope all goes well today Clare, that they sort your pain relief and you are able to enjoy more sunny afternoons with your nearest and dearest.

Am recalling your love of all things turquoise, a love shared by so many of us on here... and enjoying the blue skies over Glasgow whilst they last!

[junieliz]

Hi Clare love and best wishes today, hope your check up goes ok, love junieliz x

[iamok]

Hi Clare

You are a true inspiration thinking of you and your family we have all come to know so well
You have left an impression on your children's hearts that will never be eraised
May your coming days be painfree

Love Mandy

[ragamuffin]

Hi Clare just want to say I'm thinking of you this morning and wishing you all the best for your "check-up" today. Also like to repeat what Crabbit said- "much gratitude for the giant kick up the arse your posts have given me in the best possible way". It is frequently said life should be lived as if each day is your last and you have shown me the way...
Big hug ((())) and lots of love Diana xx

[VerityC]

Dear Clare,
I haven't logged onto this site for a few weeks, but half an hour ago got the urge to do so to see how you are faring. (I too have been reading your posts for a while without posting myself).
I am SO glad I did log on....Wishing you and your family every comfort possible. I am in tears here...
With lots of love and grateful thanks for your candour,
Verity xxx

[Crabbit]

Hello Clare,

How lovely to read of your family/ friend filled day. Still being naughty I see! Just sending a big hug and huge gratitude for the giant kick up the arse your posts continue to give me...in the best possible way of course. xxx

[Angelfalls]

Clare,

I'm another lurker who hasn't been posting because words have just seemed so inadequate and never more so than now. But I just had to add my name to the loooooooong list of grateful people who have so much admiration for the grace, humour and strength that you have shown over the last few months, since that first post in January. You are a remarkable woman and sharing this journey with you has been a privilege. You and your family are very much in my thoughts.

Wishing you all much love, peace and comfort as you take the next steps,

Angelfalls xxx

[vercors]

Dear Clare,
Today I went on my merry way for the next leg of my sponsored walk along the Thames for BCC. A bit like on this forum where people come and go, give you some support, I welcomed people to walk with me. Inhave been lucky with family members coming from across the Channel to be with me, friends and colleagues. Today, very much like some days on our journey, I was on my own.
It was an absolute georgeous day, I had plenty of time to reflect along the towpath between Marlow and Shiplake. Throughout the day two persons occupied my mind, my father who would have been 87 on this very day and who passed away five years ago this week. I still miss him.
The other person was you. You might not have been with me but your strength, your love of life, YOU as a person were with me every minute of my beautiful day. I had a great day with you. I hope you enjoyed the sun and everyone around you.
Xxxx

[ragamuffin]

Ditto Revcat's post- hope your inbox will be able to cope with the influx.

[RevCat]

What a lovely idea! Count me in. Will PM info to you...

[Twinky68]

Some of the ladies on here would like to send Clare some flowers so I have volunteered to collect in some money & messages & arrange that for her. If I can have you pm me with your message & donation amount by midday Thursday I can arrange for a delivery Friday. I will do a separate card for the messages as there probably won't be room on the delivery message card.

Love Twinky x

[Lulu34]

Clare
Im so pleased you had a fabulous day with family and friends hoping you squeeze a good few more of them in.... Enjoy snoozing in the sunshine and making more extraspecial memories for those you love and that love you.

Much love

Lulu xxxx

[Tournesol]

Clare,
I haven't been posting on this thread but have been following for the last few months and like so many others wanted to say thank you for your inspiring posts which have helped me in dealing with my own situation and being a bit less afraid of what is coming further down the line.
Really glad that you are having some good days with family and friends and hope that this continues for as long as possible.
Tournesol x

[alesta29]

Clare
Sounds like a perfect day. Hoping everyday is equally special for you and your family.
Lots of love and ((((((((((gentle hugs))))))))))
Laurie x