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I am in a really surreal place.........

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I am so glad that we had the chance to tell Clare how much we cared about her while she could read for herself. I find the "in memory" forum just so sad, and this thread has been another middle finger to cancer, in a way, as Clare and her claredrops were able to defy cancer and shared so much.

I'm going up on Friday, and I would like to suggest that if you have anything turquoise, wear it on Friday and think of our lovely Clare. I am pretty sure there will be quite a lot of turquoise at the funeral as it was her favourite colour, and it's much more defiantly cheerful than black, rather like Clare herself.

And I have to say I am deeply touched by all the messages on the justgiving site as well. I will print out the messages and give them to Jane on Friday to share with Aisling and Jamie.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you for the information about Clare's funeral.
We will indeed be able to focus together on Friday at 1.00pm.
Just reading the outpouring of caring words and poems,readings etc brought me to tears yet again.....
The wealth of support here was for Clare but I think we all benefitted so much from this active sharing that I know I'm going to miss it it on another level apart from supporting Clare. I hope that doesn't sound too selfish.
I wish everyone here the best day possible for today and am sending you a very tight hug,
from Welsh girl xxx
You are all very special women to me.


Special thoughts to Twinky do hope you're feeling better after your treatment.
And to Val, I trust you are coping with your Mum's passing and recognise she is free now.
Your poem was quite beautiful. Thanks go to your Minister.
Crabbit
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Cannot make it to the funeral but will be attending in spirit! I think a wee toast will be due at 1pm. Missing your posts lovely lady. x

vercors
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I will know on Thursday night, if the nurse is coming for my Herceptin in the morning or the afternoon. I have warned them I needed it in the morning, if she can't do it, I will ask her to come on Monday instead. I now need to brief the family that when she calls, she needs to speak to ME but as I am away on business until late Thursday night, this is going to be tricky.

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

ST, Twinky is the fount of all knowledge. I'm going to go by train and hope someone will pick me up at the station, so I can't tell you. Oxfordshire somewhere is as much as I know.

RevCat
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

ST, can I suggest you PM Twinky, ChoccieMuffin or Vercors as they are all hoping to attend.
supertrouper
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Can someone tell me where Clare's funeral is? By private message please.

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Val, I agree with Vercors, that's a beautiful poem. Hope you and yours are being kind to yourselves.

CM
x

vercors
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Val. This is really beautiful. Thanks for sharing. I will certainly keep a copy of this somewhere. I hope to be able to go to Clare's funeral. I will read it to her silently for you.

scottishlass
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

There were many poems that I could have chosen but my Mum loved her garden just like Clare did and I hope you do not mind me posting it above. I think Clare woud have like the words. I know it helped me.
I hope you are okay Jane and send some cyber hugs to you. Love Val

scottishlass
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

At my Mum's funeral the Minister read out the poem below (Anon) which I would like to share.
God looked around his garden
And found an empty place,
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your tired face.
He put his arms around you
And lifted you to rest.
God's garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering
He knew you were in pain.
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.
He saw the road was getting rough
And the hills were hard to climb.
So he closed your weary eyelids
And whispered, 'Peace be Thine'.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn't go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

libsue
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thanks, Revcat.

RevCat
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi LibSue, just spotted your question and thought I'd sneak in and reply! 'Giftaid' is the bit of income tax that the Government gives back (if we ask them to) so it is only people who are UK income Tax payers who are able to 'claim' it. becuase of the the way the JustGiving (and other sites) display the gifts everyone can see who has or had not been able to claim GiftAid. So fear not, it's nothing you have or have not done!
libsue
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

CM, please can you tell me why some donations show a 'gift aid' and others don't? Is it dependent upon whether or not the donor is a tax payer? I'm an OAP and did wonder if this is the reason my donation doesn't include a 'gift aid'.

Twinky, thanks so much for letting us know Clare's funeral arrangements, I will be taking time out to remember a very special, caring, humourous, strong and giving lady. I'll never ever forget Clare who taught us all so much.

Love to all

Libby xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you twinky for the date and time.
I am sure there will be a lot of ladies thinking about Clare and her family then. I for one will be.
Hope you are ok
Maj xx
Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Friday 6th July at 1pm.

Twinky x
nicky08
Community Champion

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Yes, thank you Twinky. I will also be spending some time remembering Clare during the time of her funeral. I hope it is a celebration of her life and there is time for smiles amongst the tears.
Nicky x

VerityC
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you Twinky. Look after yourself.
V x

RevCat
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thanks Twinky, you are a star and I'm so pleased you are able to get along to Clare's funeral to celebrate her life and say farewell to her in person. Can I just check, do you mean Friday 29 June or Friday 6 July? I would like to be able to take a moment to remember Clare at the appropriate time.

Hope everyone is doing OK, especially thinking of Val (Scottish Lass) mourning her own dear Mum at this time.
Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Ladies
Sorry I've been quiet lately but I've been poorly after my last Tax. On the mend now though but need more antibiotics! Just wanted to say thank you to Choccie Muffin for sorting out the Just Giving page for Clare & also that I'm still doing a booklet of all the thoughts & wishes posted here since Jane broke the sad news of Clare's passing to give to her family. I will be going to her funeral next Friday so will want to finish the booklet for then to leave with them.
Am missing her very much but she lives on in our thoughts & memories.
Twinky x
trudy2010
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

What a beautiful Bible verse, Revcat, One of my favourites too. I'm so glad Clare was able to chat to you about it.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

It was my sister's birthday on Monday, we were speaking on the phone last night and she was telling me what she had got for her birthday, one present from her son was a green radley bag with snowdrops on it, I thought of Clare straight away, she will never be far away from us what lovely memories we made in such a short space of time. Thinking of you Clare love junieliz x
Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Evening all ,
Just watched a gardening programme tonight the lastest offering from Alan Titchmarsh doing a make over of gardens .
Today it was was a lady with secondary breast cancer and she wanted a garden she could go and sit in which was a quiet haven
to get some peace and a place to think . It made me cry and think of Claire with all the lovely plants and flowers they were using with such bright and vibrant colours . It was a wonderful programme .
Ended my day on a high , after spending the day with my friend who is having a Strawberry tea Party in aid of Breast Cancer care on Sunday and we were sorting out the all stalls etc . I am in charge of the pimms store and the raffle. Hoping for lovely sunshine

With love
Rosie xxxx
ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

The justgiving page is working now, and I'm looking for some nice pics to put on it. Thank you to those who have donated. I'm not setting a target as that's not the point of the page.

www.justgiving.com/claredrops

CM
x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Val,
Thank you for taking the time to post at what is a very sad time for you too ....... I will be thinking of you on Thursday.
Jane x
RevCat
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I am rather late to post (thought I had done from my Kindle but it seems to have turned into a message to someone , apologies to them), having been away with work, but would like to thank those who texted me with the sad news (primitive phone so no internet access). There is nothing I can add to what has been said already, Clare was a very special lady who we will all miss very much, and have been privileged to know, albeit fleetingly.

Jane the poem is lovely, and thank you for sharing it with us. My sincere condolences to you all at this sad time.

Early on Clare and I chatted about her favoured Bible readings and she identified Romans 8:38-39 as a promise she valued:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


CM thanks for the justgiving link it is working today! Twinky the booklet idea sounds really good to me.


Many special memories of Clare now at rest.
DJ007
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Good idea CM.
Lovely poem from Clare - thanks Jane for sharing.

Val - so sorry to hear about your Mum.

Dx

AnnieK68
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

That's a lovely thing to do CM.

I spent the day in the garden today and thought of Clare often.

Love to Jane & all the Claredrops

Axx

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I am in the process of setting up a JustGiving site in memory of our lovely Clare, with donations to BCC, if anyone wishes to remember Clare that way. I PMed Jane about the suggestion first and she thinks it's fine, as Clare got such a lot from the forums.

There's a bit of a problem with the JG site at the moment (blame my ineptitude) but it WILL be www.justgiving.com/claredrops. I'll let you know when it's working, should be some time during the day tomorrow.

CM
x

moser
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Jane, I just wanted to say what a wonderful poem from Clare. Thank you so much for posting it. Thinking of you all.
Also condolences to Val.
((( )))

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thinking of you it's sad to loose a mum big hug xx
Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

To Val,
So sorry to read about your Mum. Regardless of her age it is just so awful to lose your Mum. I can fully understand how bereft you must be feeling with so much to do....
I do hope your Dad is managing in some way. Is he independent still or not?
That must be another worry for you too.
Take care in your preparations for next Thursday. Don't rush at it.... keep back some energyy for yourself.
You need to focus on yourself too. I'm sure your Mum wouldn't want you to get overstressed.
Such a sad week for your family and Clare's too.
Tight hugs from Welsh girl xx
Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

To Val ,,
Thinking of you at this sad time
Hugs and love
Rosie xxx
Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Val - so sorry to hear about your mum. I know you had been called to the nursing home a few days ago. Thinking of you and your dad.
Christine xx
scottishlass
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Jane, I lost my Mum on the 22nd. Unlike Clare she had a long life and had been ill and in a nursing home for 4 years. Her funeral is next Thursday. There was so much to do but all is in place now. Clare as you know was a very special lady. Just want to say I am thinking about you all at this very sad time. Love Val

iamok
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

sorry posted twice

iamok
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Jane and family
So sorry to read this post, Clare was a wonderful lady who has shown how to continue through this evil disease with strength and pride
She shared so much and will be greatly missed
It is so sad and I pray she has gone to a wonderful place where Claredrops will bloom forever
Mandy xxxx

Lavenderlassie
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you, Jane, from an Extra

GIJaneH
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

what a beautiful poem/thought, and, so typically Clare. Appreciative and honest, and open to learning and thinking of others always....

Thank you Jane.... you are all in our prayers at this sad time. So much to look back on and remember though...

bless you

Jane

Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I am so sorry to hear of Clare's passing. Such sad news - I often felt comForted and inspired by Clare's posts particularly if I was having a hard day. My thoughts and prayers are with you Jane and the rest of the family. Sleep peacefully Clare. Marian. Xx
Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thank you for sharing that poem with us Jane.
I know it will mean an awful lot to so many people here. We all feel so bereft because Clare showed us something about living that we often forgot..... To live each day to the utmost.To be without her wise words and the discussion she initiated is such a loss for so many of us.
We came together through BCC but Clare exhibited insight and understanding to us all through this horrid journey of cancer. Many secondary women must have felt her loss even more deeply than those of us with a primary diagnosis. I hope they can feel supported in the same way.....when life is so very very tough.
Jane, you and your family are going through a tough phase of life just now and we want to support you too.
Clare, we hope is at peace and released from pain now but your family pain and the pain here felt through loss can be helped by sharing and knowing that we all gave our love and affection so freely because we wanted to.
She really was a wise old owl who wasn't very old at all! She was a fabulous person to get to know and even if she didn't realise she helped guide all of us into new areas of harmony. We are the greater for having known her.
To you and your family I hope the initial loss will be filled with the love that Clare demonstrated to us all.
I trust you all can keep close through these difficult days. Together you are a stronger force.
We hopefully will continue to unite together and be the continued support for each other.
RIP dear Clare. I am delighted to have heard your words of wisdom and enlightenment. You gave them true meaning.....

Welsh girl xx
Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Thanks for sharing Jane. She was one remarkable woman!
Hugs
Laurie x
Guest user
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Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Jane, thank you for sharing, and thank you for caring, the words are lovely, just as Clare was. Love to you and your family, love junieliz x
katytc
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Oh Jane thank you for sharing especially at this difficult time, so very moving and totally Clare like, even when things were bad Clare could still bring a smile xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

I found this yesterday - I think Clare was talking about a certain group of ladies 🙂
I'm not sure whether you have seen it but wanted to share it with you .....
Jane xx

Forgive Me


Please forgive me, for I really didn't know

What a wonderful bunch of people are out there

Overwhelming, to say the least, your support has increased

with each day that I live on you are all still there


You all give give give...........no questions asked

To learn to accept................now that is a task

A hard one to struggle on, I know for us all

It doesn't mean giving in, its means acceptance that’s all.....


Accepting help is one of the hardest thing for me to do

as I'm sure it is for all you strong ladies out there

But I guess that all comes with age and more focus

Well my age maybe help me,, as you’re never too old for young tricks

(or is that just if you were a doggie)


Perhaps all my ramblings are making me older and wiser, like an owl

I'd like to think so, else it would all be for nothing

So I'll sign off for a while as I ponder the why's and hows

of this life That I have been given.........

GIJaneH
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Twinky - good idea. I take your point about the rest being between you all and Clare - it was a safe place for her, and needs to stay that way. sorry... was just thinking aloud. Doing more of the same, in your booklet could you go back to when she was last ill? there's lots of love there for her too, and nothing VERY personal from what I remember, but my memories bad ....

Clare will leave such a big hole....

Jane

VerityC
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi Jane,
I have been away so have only just read your post. I was so very saddened to read it and feel for you all. I hope that you all find peace and comfort as soon as possible.
We will never forget Clare, as others on here have expressed so well. Nor will we forget that her children and family are having to come to terms with such a deep loss.
With my heartfelt sympathy and hope that you will all find the comfort and strength that you need to see you through this, now and in the future.

Verity xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Hi, Jane here again - I have been reading the posts since I gave you the news about Clare and am overwhelmed by the heartfelt responses of everyone who has replied.

I know that there were some people that Clare was close to on here but I'm afraid I only have real names and have know idea of who is who on here 🙂

If you could perhaps PM me (via Clare's account) and tell me your real names then I can reply to you properly.

We are all doing Ok - Mum and Dad and I had a long time to prepare for losing her but it has left a huge hole in our lives that we will never fill .... the children are getting through each day and seem to be managing

The funeral details are not confirmed but I will let you know when they are ...

Can't say more at the moment except to thank you all again for helping and supporting her through this together - you guys are pretty inspirational as well 🙂

Jane xx
Giddy
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

Jane,
thank you for letting us know about Clare. Such sad news but I'm glad she's at peace.
She was a very brave and inspirational lady with a great sense of fun. I loved that she wanted to go sledging when it had snowed!
You and the rest of her family are all in my prayers.
Rest in peace Clare
Chris xx
Twinky- that's a wonderful idea about the booklet.

libsue
Member

Re: I am in a really surreal place.........

So sad to read this news, Jane, thank you for taking the time to let us know; it must be a difficult and hearbreaking time for you.

My heart goes out to you, Jamie, Aisling, your parents, and all Clare's family and friends.

Clare was taken from you too soon and I'm sure you must all feel cheated, but her memory is yours for keeps and to be treasured for ever, memories cannot be stolen.

My condolences, love and thoughts are with you all.

Restful, painless sleep to you sweet Clare, I'll never forget you.

Libby xxx