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I am lost..

17 REPLIES 17

Re: I am lost..

I I hope so 😕

Re: I am lost..

Try not to google NoteRed you can get some frightening stories but remember people are more likely to write about bad experiences than they are about good ones.
You will feel more in control when treatment starts x

Re: I am lost..

Good evening Ms Merton and thank you for your detailed and helpful reply.

Today I couldnt help to think all the bad "what if's" and couldnt stop crying...

The doctor said "we will move out all the "ill" nodes" so I believe I will have an ANC.

I'm in Athens, Greece, Europe and I believe they will use the same chemo. as for te cold cup, I dont really think I wll use it..hair is going to come back, now its time for more meaningful things.

As for the surgery, the doctor told me that probably I'll have a 1/4 remove of my breast (sorry, I dont know how is the word in english), OR a mastectomy if he finds another tumor somewhere at the time of the surgery.

as you see today I'm very upset as we are coming close to the day of the op (and I googled a lot 😞 ).

Thank you again so much and hoping you are doing very well

Re: I am lost..

Hello - ANC is Axillary Node Clearance where they surgically remove all the lymph nodes in your underarm area.  In the UK these are almost always removed if you have any tumours in your lymph nodes.  I have had this done.  Are you in the US?  The chemo they tend to give there is AC which is Adriamycin and cyclophosphamide.  In the UK and Europe they normally use Epirubicin instead of Adriamycin but they are v similar drugs. If you have lymph node involvement, normally you also get a taxane chemo drug - either Docetaxel or Paclitaxel.  So typically 3 or 4 cycles of AC or EC followed by 12 weeks of paclitaxel once a week or 3 cycles of docetaxcel every 3 weeks.  The whole process take 4-6 months.  You will lose your hair unless you are one of the lucky people that has success with the cold cap.  Otherwise it makes you feel a bit jet-lagged/hungover but not too bad and you can still do most things most days.  Make sure your oncologist knows your entire health history, even things that may seem irrelevant. So here in the UK the protocol for someone with invasive BC and lymph node involvement would be surgery, chemo, radiotherapy and then hormone therapy (Tamoxifen, Letrozole etc) if you are hormone receptor positive and herceptin if you are HER2+. Ask for a copy of your post-surgery pathology report so you can study at leisure and ask more questions if you need to. Do you know exactly what surgery you are going to have?  Hang in there - we all believe in you.  Xx

Re: I am lost..

hello Ms Merton, thank you very much for you post. What is ANC ? As i googled I found that is a drug that goes with chemo.. is that right? I'm asking you in case it would be wise to talk about it with my doctor.

You see I'm trying to be calm now until my surgery on Thursday and I'm waiting for my diagnosis after that.

I hope that things will go well for me and I'll try to have a new perspective to life

 

 

Re: I am lost..

do you believe I'm better now I 've read your message? here we dont have such thing as breast cancer nurses. (to tell you the truth public health here is quite an issue), there is though a support group that I intent to call from Monday, at least to talk to someone with the same feelings , may help.

Thank you so much once again for your support  and hope you are doing much better

Re: I am lost..

Hello - you are in the very worst part of the process at the moment.  Once your treatment starts you will start to feel you are making progress in beating this illness.  Really you have to go through a grief process (denial, anger, sadness, acceptance - all that) but you come out the other side in the end.  In fact, quite a few ladies on this site will tell you that they feel strangely happier after having had breast cancer because going through this horrible experience enables you to appreciate and enjoy your life so much more.  I was 46 at diagnosis.  I had 5 lymph node tumours and I don’t intend to die of this disease anytime soon!  If you have an ANC plus chemo that is very effective.  If you want to understand the statistics you could look at the NHS’s Predict webtool (www.predict.nhs.uk). Maybe try not to focus on what could go wrong, but think about getting the most out of life (very difficult to do at this stage i know, but later on).  You could try yoga, meditation, relaxation therapies such as reflexology, aromatherapy massage, exercise/dance (releases positive hormones), counselling, joining a support group or just doing things to treat yourself.  You think you can’t do this - we all thought we couldn’t do this - but you can.  You will surprise yourself.  It’s a tough journey but you have the strength within you to withstand it and the love of your husband and friends. Unfortunately sometimes on this journey they willl look to you to support them because they find it too painful, but focus on yourself and what you need now and don’t be afraid to tell them how they can help you. Best wishes xx 

Charys
Community Champion

Re: I am lost..

Hiyer Notered,

 

Its early days my friend, and feeling tearful and sad is so totally to be expected. My eyes felt permanently sore and red for weeks...honest! It sounds like you could really do with some local support there - do they have breast cancer nurses who are ascribed to you? Do they have such a thing as support groups for bc? (i know you said there was no forum, but wondering if there is any other emotional support for women going through this)

 

When I was diagnosed, before my surgery, I signed up for the 'someone like me' service that is run by this site. I had it done via telephone calls from a person of my age, who was two years further along to me and two years after finishing active treatment. I remember crying on the phone and saying that I even missed bickering with my husband, as I was so emotionally weak that I could barely get through the day and my life seemed to have changed immediately, overnight. She laughed and said 'oh you soon get back to that (the pointless niggling at each other), trust me. The good news is Notered, you will get back to those days, not just yet, but after all the treatments are done. It seems like such a long road to travel right now doesn't it, but it comes to an end.

 

xx

Re: I am lost..

I hope so I'm feeling sad all the time

Re: I am lost..

Waiting for results is very hard, you will feel more in control when they give you a treatment plan. There are many threads in this forum where you will find help and support from people going through similar experiences. Wishing you well x

Re: I am lost..

good evening to all of you. today is one of these days i cant stop crying. Thinking how carefree was 2 weeks before and how I 'm know and try to see things different.

My husband wants to support me but its times like this that I think he cant...

I could use a little word of sympathy from you, who I believe you have been here...

Re: I am lost..

thank you for your answer. It's good to be with people who understand...

Re: I am lost..

It is completely normal to feel afraid.  Your friends don't need to have all the answers - just be there to give you a hug, a shoulder to cry on and support in general.  And you may be suprised by others who step up to support you - I know that I have been xx

Re: I am lost..

🙂 thank you so much. You know I'm trying to act normal but I can't. On the other hand I did't tell to many people yet . You see I dont have my parent and there are no brothers or sisters so...I'm alone with my husband and some (1-2) friends who  - most of the time- dont know what to say.

I'm afraid the surgery outcome to tell you the truth...

 

Re: I am lost..

I have just found this aticle which may help a little.  I didn't have to have chemo but can really relate to at least 90% of it..  https://ificouldtellyoujustonethingcouk.wordpress.com/2017/09/04/feelings-breast-cancer/

I have been very up and down over the course of my treatment - quite often resorting to hiding out at home with the TV on.  Worrying is inevitable but I am sure once you know properly what you are dealing with and have a treatment plan in place it will become a little easier.  Best way to fight this thing is to look after yourself as best you can so do try and eat a little if possible and engage with others on the forum.   Take care xx

Re: I am lost..

thank you so much for the support. I have many ups and downs during the day (but my mind cant be calm)

I'm worried about the node they found so much and I can even sleep or eat...My doctor is trying to tell me that is something that I can do and pass but ...

I hope you are in a better mood than me

Re: I am lost..

Hi NoteRed and sorry that you find yourself in this forum as a result of BC diagnosis.  However, it is also a really good thing that you are here as there are so many of us going through the same journey and so heaps of advice and support to be had here!.  Being diagnosed is really really scary not least because you can feel completely out of control - I know that I did!  I was diagnosed last October aged 51 after finding a lump that summer.  I had pre-op complications so it took ages before they could remove the lump and give me a diagnosis - probably the worse summer ever.  I am now at the end of my active treatement having had a WLE and 2 further re-excisions to get clear margins plus 15 rounds of radiotherapy.  It is a week since my last radiotherapy and I am coming to terms with the new "normal".  Throughout I have learnt to lean on my husband, family and friends (and found out who my true friends are in the process) and used this forum to get advice and support from others.  It feels like hell now but you will get through it so be kind to yourself, have a cry now and then and take any support offered to you.  Keep in touch xx

I am lost..

Good evening to all of you,

 

it's my first time here and i really wish we didnt meet that way

😕

I'm 45 and my story so far is that I went for my programmed mammogram a little later than usually. (I've had the last one on 5/2016 and went 1/2018). The new mammogram showed nothing but the ultrasound afterwards reveald a 1.7 cm and one node 2,7cm. In panic I visited a doctor the next day who made an FNA biopsy both from the tumor and the node which came back possitive for cancer cells.

I've been in "fog" from 29/1/2018 and now. I visited 2-3 doctors and i decided with whom I'll walk this path-that was a difficult. He had me do all the CT (brain,lungs, liver, pelvic) and scan bones, breast mri. Luckily all came clear.

And now I'm scheduled for OP at 22/2.  He said I will probably have a 1/4 taken out but if he sees something also suspicious he will remove all the breast.. and nodes of course ... and then we will discuss therapy...he said i'm stage 2 but I'm cosidered about the nodes...

I'm lost, I'm scared..and feeling alone

My husband is by my side all the time but you know...