I hate this wait.

Hi, on Monday night I found a lump in my left breast. I went to see my doctor on Tuesday who referred me to the local breast clinic for further tests. The doctor said it was the size of a golf ball and that he also felt another lump in the same breast. He said it was smooth (feels bobbly to me) and that he could pretty much get his fingers right round it. He also noticed I have very lumpy breasts anyways. Got my appointment on the 5th, which is fantastic but it’s driving me mad at the same time. Obviously I have gone on the Internet to research lump size etc and I don’t know if it’s just in my head but I’m sure I have a lump in my right breast and I seem to have every breast cancer symptom possible. I can’t sleep, eat, think, I have a head ache, sore back, night sweats. I can’t believe I didn’t realise the lump sooner. I feel so guilty, any advice would be greatly accepted, Thanks. 

Hi Sutty, stop the googling and try not to write yourself off before you’ve even been checked out is my advice love! We all did the same and and you will drive yourself utterly demented!! Every thing will suddenly start to hurt and you will feel genuinely Sick and convinced that you are riddled but this is all down to anxiety, it’s a horrendous thing and not something I had ever experienced before, I felt like I would actually choke to death with it at times! Try and focus on getting to the clinic and nothing beyond that, of course you are going to be distracted and anxious and you can’t change that but by keeping as busy as possible the days will pass quicker and if you achieve something you will feel better than sitting in an anxious huddle while you wait for the hours to pass, they aim to give you an answer on the day at the clinic although it’s not always possible if you need a biopsy but they are lovely and treat you with kindness and you will be well looked after ? xx Jo 

Thanks for answering! I know, I should just calm down as it might be something. Just can’t help beating myself up about now feeling the lump sooner. It’s awful. Lots of love X

Oh bless you. Fingers crossed I get good news on Friday xx