I'm FED UP with.......... (please join in)

[Guest user]

Hi Swift16

I can relate so much to what you say. On the one hand, I feel so fortunate to have reached what I call 'the other side' of surgery, chemo, rads and now continue on Herceptin and Letrozole. But on the other, I find it hard at times to recognise the 'me' the 'new norm' in this. I too feel very tired, whilst trying to cope with being back at work full time and trying to get back to some sort of activity to build my strentgth. I think that people presume because you are 'looking well' that you are 'back to normal'. My old self and normal life has gone and I am trying to embrace my 'new me and this different norm'. Not always easy.....................

[NAZ]

Lynn, i have asked for another surgeon, now..one who knows what he is doing!
Unfortunately, the hospital is much further from my local haopital, but i feel confident from seeing my new potential ps three times now, that he can at least make things better for me.

Sorry to hijack this thread, i guess this is the thing i am most fed up with at the moment...

Naz xx

[Guest user]

Fed up with feeling constantly below par even though I know I am "on the mend". Also fed up with people saying "you've just got to keep positive and strong" - exactly like I've just said to Naz!! Woops!

Lynn x

[Guest user]

Oh goodness Naz - that's so b-----y annoying to say the least. When I read this I really felt for you. I feel so angry for you. Are you going to have the same surgeon or ask for another one??

Keep strong (suppose you're fed up with hearing that but it really is heartfelt and from someone who knows!) and you will get through this. Do what I started to do after my second op and actually ask for help and be specific about what you need from family and friends even if it's just to pop round for a supportive chat or be taken to a local garden centre to take your mind off things after your op.

All the very best

Lots of love

Lynn xx

[Guest user]

Fed up with worrying.

[NAZ]

Fed up with the fact that my tissue expander has failed, and my surgeon did not realise that he haD stretched my poor skin so much that my implant is about to burst through!

Fed up with the knowledge that in a few months, i have no option, but to start again with recon, which will involve major surgery, just as i am ready to get my life back on track!

B****Y STUPID INCOMPETENT SURGEON , YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...YOU DID NOT NOTICE A SIMPLE PROBLEM, YOU REFERRED ME TO THE WRONG PERSON AT ANOTHER HOSPITAL MILES AWAY, AND BECAUSE OF YOU, I HAVE A BOTCH JOB FOR A CHEST!

Grrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

[angielav]

Fed up with putting on a brave face !

[lucinda]

fed up with pain 24/7 if I decide to do something.had a lazy couple days and pain not so bad,but when i decided to just try living today as normal pain is back.
I hate this damn disease arhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lucinda]

fed up with pain 24/7 if I decide to do something.had a lazy couple days and pain not so bad,but when i decided to just try living today as normal pain is back.
I hate this damn disease arhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tob21]

hi ,i finished treatment 6 months ago chemo followed by rads and i agree with everything you've all said, brill,loved reading all you're comments

[Guest user]

I am sleeping sitting up.

[Ninja]

Sitting surrounded by boxes and crates and not a clue where it's all going to go. Damn you, down-sizing!

[Jo_C]

The not being able to sleep really does my head in, but I can say it now only 1 more tax to go! However that doesn't help when yet again it is 5am and I'm wide awake.

[Guest user]

... not being able to sleep even though I'm exhausted!! aaargh! every time I close my eyes my mind goes into overdrive! ho hum, only 1 more FEC to go (I hope!) 😄 Lynne

[Jo_C]

Not being able to sleep even on so called sleeping tablets, it's doing my head in.
Good luck for later Mary Brim x

[Guest user]

What a great thread 🙂 and a mimic every single persons comment, they are all so true. I'm really fed up with it. Only 2 fec in so far followed by several weeks of rads. I'm fed up with the mood swings, really sore mouth even though it isn't stopping me from eating and gaining weight. Not being able to plan anything with my kids is getting to me. People telling me I look well, I just find that patronising. My closest friends avoiding me cos they don't know what to say. I'm sure I'll think of some more so no doubt I'll be back 😉

Good luck tomoz mary xx

[ethlydsyl]

good luck mary brim x

[Guest user]

only starting chemo tomorrow but fed up all ready with people telling me how brave I am.
because I am putting on a smile and saying I am ok when in fact I am terrified of what lies ahead.

[Guest user]

at the moment, i am not fed up lol x

[Guest user]

fed up not being able to taste any food properly.......but doesn't stop me eating.......

[Guest user]

Fed up with with people thinking I'm "better" just because my hair is growing back and they think I'm now "ok"! (it's just that this chemo is kind to my scalp and you can't see the ravages of radiotherapy...)

[Guest user]

Fed up of worrying about every ache and pain and what they mean!

[Guest user]

Fed up of being fed up !!!!

[Ninja]

All of the above - except the stick-on nip!

Currently sick of last-minute packing up ready to move house tomorrow.

[Buzzy]

Fed up of being fat having gained 2 stone since dx.
Fed up of people staring at my bald head cos its too hot to wear a wig and why should I?
Fed up of people thinking that just cos I look ok I must be feeling it!
Fed up of telling people its my last chemo next week and them saying "Oh is that it then?" NO IT'S NOT!!
Fed up of my mum attributing all my chemo side effects to old age. I'm only 49!

[Guest user]

I'm also fed up with playing pin the tail on the donkey with my stick on nipple every morning!!!

[Guest user]

Im fed up with being the person who has "COPED SO WELL"
I really haven't..... but of course that's not the person they see... but then that's my fault for putting on an act.

Toffee..... just remember as I've said before when asked "how are you?" for the umpteenth time.....smile and say FINE
F***ed up
Insecure
Neurotic
Exhausted and only you know what you really mean!!!

Not my idea, it was in a really good book I bought in Canada "I am not my breast cancer"
X

[Guest user]

Peole telling me I'm lucky because I don't need to have chemo as there was no node involvement.
Yeah- it could be a lot worse and I truly feel for all you girls who are undergoing chemo and rads - but to me lucky is winning the pools, not losing a breast...
I'm also fed up of my mum telling anyone who'll listen about what I've gone through. I acknowledge she needs support too and I've told her it's fine to confide in close relatives and friends - but not random neighbours who don't even know me. Do they really need to hear about my seroma and the fact that my first inplant after LD recon went necrotic? Er no.
I'm also fed up with the postcode lottery. The treatment I'm receiving in Leicester is exemplary. Just wish it was the same across the UK

[Guest user]

I'm fed up with my bra showing... non of my clothes fit over the lovely MX bras i have...there is always some bit showing (OK there isnt if i wear a high enough neck line, but its SUMMER)I know i can go shopping and get new clothes... but guess what I'm fed up of not having the energy to!

[ChoccieMuffin]

El K, any time anyone asks "is that all done then?" I look shocked and exclaim "No, not by a long shot! I've done the chemo but I'm just starting radiotherapy, have a year's worth of Herceptin intravenously every three weeks, and at least 5 years of hormone therapy, so it's very far from over! But at least the chemo's done, as that was completely horrible." I don't tell them off but I make sure I've explained that BC treatment isn't just shoving lots of chemicals into us and that's that. Most people don't mind being on the receiving end of a brief explanation, if you do it the right way - as with many of the comments we've had tone of voice, facial expressions and general context all make a great big difference.

Fran, read about your blood test, how positively pants for you. You have every right to be fed up and I hope they cough up for the taxi!

[Guest user]

but I don't think I "understood" about breast cancer before I had it diagnosed - often feel bad about way I've treated friends, colleagues, family about this.... it's so hard to "understand" unless you've been here...

On that note am about to write to hospital to complain about having to go in for another blood test - seems they've only just started to document this aa an "incident" - well they should try having me veins after 6 FEC and 4 TAX and when it's difficult to get a blood test done.... it's a really traumatic incident for me...

[Guest user]

I'm fed up of the assumption that once I've done chemo "thats it" - it's NOT ARGHHHHHHHH, I have a month of rads, 5 years Tamoxifen and my body has to recover from all it's been assaulted with since March this year, Surgery, Chemo, SEs,Rads and Drugs.

I *wish* that would be it.

Though v grateful that last chemo is on Tues.

[Guest user]

...people asking how I am...going on about my hair (one bloke in partiuclar teling me that it's okay and there are plenty of bald people in the world, I know, I told you that's okay and I don't actually miss it)....people asking me how I am...yes i've said it again because seem not able to ask only once, they repeat the question over an over again looking for a different answer - they aren't going to get one because my condition hasn't change in the last 30 seconds!....I echo - people telling me all about the other people that they who have had 'it' - are they me, no so it's irrelevant then, shut up!

ooh, that was a nice rant...

[Nottsgal]

I know exactly what you mean aramis, my sister is like that too. Always has been. When my ex-husband left me, I phoned her to thank her for some flowers she'd sent and she spent an hour telling me about all her husband's annoying faults. I would have swapped then, and I would have when I got my dx.

[Guest user]

I am fed up with my sister...Who's jealous that I am getting more attention than she is off close friends and family...Sorry, she can have the Cancer, the Chemo and all the attention I'm getting and I'll have her life! I didn't want the Cancer or the attention anyway!!!

[Nottsgal]

....my boss. He's actually a nice guy BUT he doesn't seem to understand that I'm back on a phased return cos I'm knackered after 8 months of surgery, chemo, rads; not to mention ongoing herceptin and tamoxifen. He talks as if the phased return has been dreamt up by the occupational health unit doctor and we don't have to stick to it (e.g. if he wants to hold a team meeting as I am about to go home at 3pm, of course I'll stay).

[nymeria]

with the fact that it has proved pretty much impossible to find any mastectomy bras in my size (30D) unless I want to pay £40.00 or more for the privilege! I've spent literally hours looking so far without any success at all.

Now that my rad burns have healed I was really looking forward to wearing something other than cotton camisoles but I am so fed up that I can't find anything that either fits or I can actually afford. Which means I am reduced to wearing stuff that doesn't fit properly and feels uncomfortable.

Which of course means I am also fed up with:

Hair that is taking so long to grow back
continuing to lose finger and toe nails
all the horrible scars
not feeling feminine
and yes, just like the rest of us, totally fed up and peed off with cancer!

[J01]

I'm fed up of feeling fed up!!!!!!!!!! of being tired, sick, no hair, sore nails, but most of all I'm fed up of it being the summer holidays and not having the energy to take my kids places, and saying to them we'll have to see how I am!! they were supposd to go to their cousins yest to play in their giant pool ..but where they live (about 30 miles away) had a load of horseflies around biting people and they were causing infected bites so that had to be cancelled as I've got my last tax monday and DO NOT want any delays!!!!!
BUT MOST OF ALL I AM SICK TO THE BACK OF MY TEETH WITH CHEMOTHERAPY!!!!!!! XX

[Guest user]

and I'm fed up of inefficient hospitals - gave blood yesterday (over hour on two buses to get to hospital) and today phoned for results before taking chemo tablets - wrong instructions had been given about blood tests so will I please come back - aaaaahhhhhhh!!! Don't the realise we have limited energy and want t have more in our lives than trips of hospitals. I sense another complaint coming on - and submission of taxi fare to get there- that might make them think!!

Sorry for rant - tiredness and inefficient medics are a bad combination..... think I'll abandon the brave face when I arrive

[ethlydsyl]

thanx for this thread-i'm fed up of hearing-so and so had it and she's fine-i don't ####### care-sorry-my next door neighbours sisters friend had it and she's working on the markets now-so ####### what----ooh--- am i awful ??? i don't ####### care-lol

[angielav]

I'm fed up of putting on a brave face for everyone ..

[Guest user]

I'm fed up trying to be everything to everyone. I just want to be left alone for a while. I want to shout or wallow with no need to apologise. I would just like to be me. Chris

[Guest user]

All of the above and husband

[tillybob]

Smiling when people ask me how I am ,when really I am feeling sh*t but don't want to upset them !

[Bunny3]

With trying to explain how I am feeling when I am NOT feeling so "positive" and am scared and being told NOT to be "negative" ( hope that makes sense)
Not feeling at all feminine
Being reminded of cancer everyday

xx

[CanonJane]

having forgotten what it's like to feel NORMAL!

[Guest user]

Im fed up of people saying "Sorry" when they find out I have Cancer, they didnt put it there so why they sorry. Also people who say Im brave, Im not brave, I have no choice but to go through with this.

[Guest user]

Yes the bravery thing - HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M BRAVE?????
Am I brave when I'm in agony on the loo, crying from contractions, yelping "oh god no, please not again I can't take it anymore" ????

[Guest user]

I'm also fed up with being fed up 😄

[Jo_C]

Flushes from steroids
Lack of sleep
Sore toes
Sore fingers
No hair
Sore mouth
CANCER!