Yes you can do it Naz !!. Tell us your progress and we will support you all the way. I am going to try and lose at least a stone in weight this year so I too am determined to change. For too long now I have blamed the Tamoxifen but I need to take control now and not eat too many crisps and chocolate. I always used to cook from scratch but got a bit lazy after the BC so it is fresh veg, fruit and salads for the New Year. I have had to have the next size uniform at work so I am desperate to get back down to a size 12 , as all my clothes feel tight and uncomfortable. I will not let the BC change me this much. I want to be my old self and weight again !!
So a New year and a fresh start. I will let you know Naz how things progress. Love Tracy xxxx
Thanks again everyone for your helpful replies.
Poems, i get what you are saying. I have considered requesting a de construction of the reconstruction and having the healthy one removed. Made this suggestion to OH and he nearly fell of his chair in shock! So, the recon stays and the healthy one also gets to stay. Which leaves me getting used to a numb and scarred chest - tough that is..
I think CBT might be a good thing for me to try at least.. I need to get head/brain in tune with moving forward and dumping the negative thoughts .
So, where am i now? (Just thinking out aloud at the moment) Tired, the 4 year nightmare has come to and end, tired of my job (need a new challenge but clueles what to do) kind of feel shipwrecked on an island, needing to find myself again - does anyone connect with that feeling (it could just be me!).
Have done grieving, sad and anger, now just feel plain tired from it all. Tired from ops, thinking, putting negligence cases together, from missing my breast and from being happy and cheerful for others - does that make sense anyone??
It is now time to shift forwards and reintegrate with the rest of society and life . not sure where to start, but here goes..
Happy New Year all.
Just to add another possible option for accessing CBT. Changes within the NHS in recent years, GP's becoming financially independent etc... has meant that CBT is often available in Primary Care with a referral from GP. There are a number of online CBT courses and books that often have a successful outcome but as with anything it will take a lot of work from yourself. MIND can also offer Counselling / Group CBT / CBT but again what is available varies from area to area but is usually well presented / helpful.
I was / am looking to access Mindfulness to help me move forward but.......... It is not available in my area in Primary Care..........MIND in my area covers three logistical towns (one of which i live in) but i have a Manchester post code so can't get funding and paying them is not an option they offer. It is available in Secondary Care Mental Health Services but i don't meet the criteria for referral (thank goodness.) So am currently trying to practice independently.... On a good day i can laugh at the the above process but i suspect i will end up paying to access privately......
Hope you manage to access CBT Naz and find it helpful. Take Care Gilly x
I am so sorry that your Body issues are still troubling you. I do think professional counselling will help and the first thing tomorrow I would visit your GP for a referral as there will be a waiting list. You need to chat it through with an expert because they can help you grieve for the breast you have lost .
In the meantime remember to practice the art of Mindfulness and have techniques in place to avert any negative thoughts into your job, your children and family and friends.
Please let us know how things progress as we are willing you to get better, but our minds are very very powerful which is why we sometimes need the help from a professional counsellor. Get the help you need and deserve Naz. The approaching New Year is your time to help yourself and get well again.
Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts. Tracy xxx
I havnt tried CBT so cant speak from experience, but it seems to have a good track record in managing your feelings and is used by the NHS. Its not about hours of therapy going into your feelings.
You've as good a chance of getting a good therapist via the NHS as privately, I hope you can get a referral.
NHS Mood Juice self help website has some good stuff http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/
I'm waiting for double mx, and dont know how I'm going to cope. I really liked mine (until the left one was numbed by WLE and rads), agonising over recon or not - is it better to have none or two with no feeling?
I know I could not be bothered with prosthesis, and I know if it had been one not both, I would not have accepted being 'unbalanced'.
The best thing for my mental health in general is getting out walking/cycling/whatever, and a good yoga class.
NAZ, if I was a selfish person I wouldn't hesitate. But I'm a married lady with a loving, caring husband who looks after me and takes me into consideration when making decisions. I think it only fair that I do the same and he would rather I kept the one boob unless it becomes necessary to have it removed. I know I had a good moan about it, but all things considered it is a small price to pay for marital harmony. Good luck and wishing you the best for 2014.
Along with the support you have here our helpline re-opens tomorrow 9-5 if you feel it would help to talk things over, our team are on 0808 800 6000
I am so sorry you are feeling like this.
I just wanted to say that I had cbt a few years back for something completely different and found it to be a very effective technique and so I would say it is definitely worth a try. As for finding someone, perhaps your GP could refer you?
I do so feel for you NAZ, I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for you, so I do hope you manage to arrange CBT sessions to help you with it. I have the opposite problem. I also had MX but rather than missing the lost breast, I wish I could get rid of the remaining one. I too have negative thoughts about it and as I don't wear a bra (can't stand my prosthesis either) it dangles there like a huge ganglion on my chest. It spoils the way my clothes look and I can't help imagining myself with no boobs at all. I've only been like this for one year, so dread to think how I will feel after 4!!