I too have just been diagnosed

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1

Hi

I have been having problems for a while now. I used to get mastitus when I was breastfeeding my three girls. Then about two years ago I got it again so I was sent for a mamagram as I hadn’t breast fed for almost 10 years as my youngest daughter is almost 12.

The mamagram was clear but then I started to get what I called a leaky boob the week or so before my period started. This started causing me problems as I would get stuck to my bra, so when I took my bra off at night I would also take off some of my nipple ouch now that did hurt.

We were due to go on holiday in oct 08 so I went back to the dr’s they gave me some great dressings but said I should go back and see the dr when I got home. While we were on holiday I noticed that a flat patch had appeared on my boob.

When I got home I went back to the dr. The dr examined me and found a lump that I was completely unaware of. She then referred me to the breast clinic.

I went to breast clinic and they did a mamgram and ultrasound. From what they saw they also did a biopsy. The consultant then spoke to me and hubby and said that they did not like what they had seen.

I went back the following week for the results and they confirmed it was cancer. They arranged for me to go for a bone scan and ct scan the following week. I was told the results would take 7 to 10 days. On xmas eve the breast care nurse called to say she had the results of my tests and it was good news. Both of my scans were clear. She made me an appointment to go back on new years eve.

I went back new years eve and was told that they want me to have a masectomy in the next four weeks as I have an agressive lump. Then I will be having chemo and possibly radio therapy followed by Herceptin.

I have shocked everyone on how strong and positive I am dealing with this situation. Family and friends are falling apart and crying, which I really cannot be doing with. I have had people deliberatley avoid me, I have had people visit who don’t normally visit.

I have a husband and 3 beautiful daughters who I need to stay strong for. I think I have probably also shocked myself as I did not realise I was actually this strong myself. Obviosuly I know as this year goes on I could feel very different. But I intend on taking each day as it comes and I do not intend on letting this lump take over my life.

At the end of the day there is a cancerous lump in my boob, so the dr’s are going to chop off my boob and get rid of the lump. They are then going to zap me to try and make sure the cancer has completely gone, followed by a course of Herceptin to give me the best possible chance of no re-occurence. What more could I ask them to do.

all the dr’s keep saying is that I am so young (39) and what great news it is that both my bone scan and ct scan were clear.

So that is my story so far

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Hi newforestmum and welcome to the BCC forums.

You may find BCC’s resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below to order a copy:

breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514

In addition to the support you will receive here, if you feel it would help to talk to someone in confidence about your upcoming surgery or any other concerns you have, then please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. They can offer you a listening ear, support and information about other services we can offer you to help you through this difficult time. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Best wishes
Lucy

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Hi newforestmum and welcome, though as most people will tell you, I am sorry you had to join us here.This bit is hard, the waiting for surgery, but it IS all do-able and you are right, you’ll get through this.You will need the support of your family and of course, it’s all a big shock for them as well as you,and a bit scarey too.But, you will get through it together.There are so many knowledgeable ladies on here who will have experienced everything you will face, so if you have any questions, or just feel the need to talk, or let off steam, this is the place to do it, and without any fear of feeling silly we’re all here to help.I have found so much support on here and another forum i use, very humbling to find such wonderful people! Good luck x

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Hi there,

so sorry you’ve had to join us here on the website, but as you’ll find you’ll get great support on here.

like you I too was young 34 at dx 35 now, and diagnoed on jan 2nd 08 - I have two kids aged 6 and 3, I too had surgery although a lumpectomy, chemo and rads and found this time (waiting) the hardest. Try not to worry to much and take one step at a time, although this is difficult at times. YOU WILL GET THERE and you’ll find strength from places you never thought you would. My hubbie and kids keep me going, also a gud friend which sadly I lost in October, she was a true inspiration to me. Use your bc nurses and oncologist to get answers.

I wish you all the very best and you know where we are, thinking about you xxxx

love Paula xx

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thank you for the warm welcome

the dilemma I am facing at the moment is my hair. I have long wavy hair.

so do I leave things the way they are and let the Chemo do whatever it is going to do

or do I be a bit more crazy/radical and go and get it all cut off. Plus go for a short style that I would never normally choose perhaps even with some nice bright colours in it, that will actually give people something to stare at before my hair comes out. that way I will already be used to people staring at my hair before it falls out

my husband thinks I am crazy, but I do not intend on hiding my illness so why not make the most of some bits of it and have some fun so that people can see that I am very much still alive and kicking. my girls have already told me that they do not want me to wear hats they want me to wear a wig. but while I still have my own hair why don’t I have some fun and do something that I would not normally do

what has everyone else done? how have you coped with hair loss? has anyone else done something really unusual with their hair?

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Hi there

I’m relatively new here too (diagnosed on 17th Dec, had lumpectomy and node clearance on 22nd Dec and waiting for results of op next Weds). I’m 41 with 3 kids aged 9 & 6 (twins). I’m sorry we meet in such unpleasant circumstances, but you sound AMAZINGLY positive. I mostly feel the same as you although I’ve had a bit of a downer the last couple of days but I’m pulling myself back up again.

I’m also undecided on the hair issue. I won’t know what my treatment is until next week, so I’m going to wait until I know for sure I’m having chemo (90% chance) before I do anything with my hair. I also have long hair and can’t decide whether to let it fall out or cut it short first. I had in mind a short, bleached blonde Annie Lennox crop before it all kicks off. At the moment I’m thinking I’d feel more self-conscious in a wig than in a scarf or hat and I know there are a couple of us who are planning on going for eye catching ear bling once the hair goes. I’m certainly not going to hide myself away in a corner as if it’s all something shameful.

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I am waiting for a date for a masectomy but I have the cold/flu thing at the moment and it has kicked off my very occasional asthma (that I have had since I was a child). Dr’s have said it will be done in next 4 weeks.

My girls are 15, 13 and 11 plus the little 2 that I foster who are 3 & 4. I am staying as positive and as strong as I can for them.

I like your Annie Lennox idea. I have just been scanning a hairstyle website looking for ideas for a short style that will suit my wavy hair. Although I like my bright colours so I will probably use this as a good excuse to put in some either red, pink or purple bits that I would never have been brave enough to go for before.

hopefully that will help people to smile when the see me rather than go all teary eyed which I really can’t handle

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Go for the smiles love and if ever you need to let go a bit remember we are here for you and there will be someone who has been wherever you are.You sound like an amazing lady.Once your treatment has started and you know exactly what you are ealing with you will feel better.I am a lot older than you [64] and when my hair went I had a wig but I only wore it a couple of times then thought s** it this is me bald as a coot,if I can cope others will too.I never even noticed second glances though a woolly hat was an essential as I started chemo in Dec 2006!

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Hello Newforestmum

there’s a reply on Speedieweedie’s thread about the cold cap which I put on before I saw your thread. Just wanted to say good luck.
Anthi x

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Hi newforestmum,
I started my own thread on hair loss as that was one of my major issues with me my hair WAS very long 31 inches right down my back so I was told I would loose it with both the chemo’s I will be having ( EC & Taxotere ). Anyway my chemo nurse said " if you leave it long it will probably come out quicker , ( with the weight ) than if it is short " so I decided to cut it first ( but it was only 2 weeks before it started coming out anyway ) so is it worth 2 weeks ??? or on the other hand if you leave it to fall out on it’s own it starts to go all tingly , so I decided I didn’t want to have bald patches and as soon as it started falling I would shave it all, which I did !!!
I was diagnosed on 24th November and I have just had my 1st Chemo on 17th Dec and am due for my next lot on 7th Jan .
The wigs they have now are fab and they have some really good ( cheap ) ones on ebay from Honk kong I ordered 3 and they came within the next week I couldn’t believe how fast they came, and you will also get one from the hospital ( free if your on familt tax credits ect , but proof needed ), I also got loads of big scarfs tied them in a bandanna type and let the tail ends of them fall to the side so it almost looks like a ponytail ( if u no wot i mean? ) I got the scarfs from Matalan , they had loads can’t promise now though cos they have a sale on but I only got them new years day.
Hope your coping as well as you can you will have some bad days ( we all do ) but dust yourself down and pick yourself up you will be ok !
I too am 41 with 4 children one has left home now he’s 19 then 16 (M) then 15 ( F ) then my baby ! ( he’s 13 LOL )
Love Caron x

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Hi Newforestmum

I’m also quite new to this. Diagnosed 16 Dec, lumpectomy and sentinal node removal on Christmas Eve. Results this week and then it’s on to whatever treatment, likely to be chemo and rad. I haven’t told many people yet as I want to know exactly what I’m dealing with and the type of treatment, so this site has been a life line for talking about it the last three weeks. You’ll get so much support.

Assuming I get chemo, I think I’m going to wait till it starts coming out, then give it a chop myself just to keep the shedding down a bit (me and the dog will be competing against each other for a couple of weeks). I’m not going the wig route, just because I think I’ll get annoyed with the upkeep, so I’m doing hats, scarves, and a fringe piece. I’m more bothered about losing my eyebrows and eyelashes. That’s a pain! I wondered about fake brows and lashes. I’ll probably get some and try it, but if I end up looking like I should be on the stage, or worse Groucho Marx, I’ll revert to eyebrow pencil and eye liner. If Twiggy could get away with drawing huge eyelashes onto her cheeks in the 60s, so can I! I always wished I’d been at Woodstock. Now’s my chance to go for the wacky hippy look.

Looking way ahead, and from what other ladies have said, I’m looking forward to seeing how my hair comes back in and trying out a range of styles as it grows down. I’ve not been a short hair person, but now’s my chance to see if I might have been denying myself a whole style persona!

Sounds like you’re off to a great start. Love the copper idea. I might try that for a fringe piece.

Carole

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Hi to newforestmum, gennie and carole,

Sorry to hear you ladies have had to join us butyou will get loads of support from here.

I was dx dec 07 had lumpectomy chemo rads and finished oct 08. I wasn’t too bothered about my hair but was more concerned about my eyebrows and eyelashes. my hair started to fall out 18/19 days after first dose of chemo. it was upsetting but it had to be done. I didn’t bother getting any styles or short cuts and just got my friend to shave it off when it did start falling out.

I too have 3 girls ages 7,4 and 1 at the time of dx. The younger two weren’t bothered however the oldest wasn’t happy me wearing my wig to school to pick her up. She preferred the bandana and for her i didn’t wear the wig. I think it was the fact kids would say to here how come your moms got hair today and gone tomorrow.

Now my hair is about 1-2 inch long all over and quite thick. Its comeback slightly wavey and thank god i haven’t got chemo curles i would have found that really upsetting.

New forest mum i know what you mean about not wanting people moapping around you as it can bring you down. When i was having chemo it got to a stage i said im going to put a message on the answer machine " this is day XX of the chemo symptoms are XX if you want to talk about normal things call me on mobile otherwise don’t bother. - ps i’m from a big family and i know they all care.
take care
sukes

13

Hi Everyone
Just logged on and encouraged by all your advice/comments. Diagnosed on 15th December and have been advised to have mastectomy and sentinel node biopsy. Just waiting for date for surgery. Still can’t quite believe it’s really happening to ME. Seems bizarre! Going through the motions of packing my bag for hospital and although I think I’m in control start blubbering for no reason! Don’t really know what else to do. Help!!!

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Hi,

You will get there and find a strength from somewhere - I know it’s a cliche but hey I found it to be true ! You will also find loads of help and tips on here from everyone and don’t worry if some of it seems scary - I didn’t venture onto the site til after my treatment finished in case I saw stuff that scared me witless !! Full of admiration for the way you are dealing with it with having kids (as with all of you who have kids) as I have no maternal instincts at all !!

I was diagnosed July 07, had chemo til Dec 07, then mastectomy with removal of all lymph glands and surrounding tissue and then radiotherapy. My hair came out within about 3 days, 2 weeks after my first chemo but I never bothered with a wig. I wore knitted hats outside and nothing in the house or if I was inside anywhere as I took the attitude that it wasn’t my fault I had this disease and if others were offended by how I looked, that was their problem and I had more important things on my plate than being bald - at least the chemo must be in my body and doing something ! I do however appreciate that this may sound callous and you may be different especially with regard to how kids see you. My hair was quite long and curly beforehand so it was odd to be bald but it’s grown back even more curly now and would be about 5-6 inches long if it was straight and that’s in about 10 months.

I found that people who I would have expected to contact me didn’t and others who I wouldn’t have expected to, did. I was off work immediately I was diagnosed and am still off work now and have had some amazing support from my (male) manager at the time, other colleagues I hadn’t known that long due to a change of offices and some old colleagues and friends I hadn’t been in touch with for ages. These are the people who I now regard as true friends, who treated me normally (as one of them said, you’re still the same person and haven’t changed into someone else just because of the cancer) and weren’t patronising. Then there were those few people who were so depressing and only seemed to want to tell you about the people they knew who’d all died from it - great !! - so I ignored them and don’t bother with them !!

You will have some bad days but that’s all part of it and I just stayed away from people at those times - don’t beat yourself up when you do feel down, it’s all normal.

I think I’m having a really positive night for some unknown reason !!! Must be the hormones !!!

Good luck and remember, it’s all do-able treatment and if you feel rubbish, it’s the drugs working.

Liz

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thanks for all of your comments

I must admit although my girls would like me to wear a wig, I am not sure. I think I would rather do the hat thing instead

As for my hair growing back more curly that would not be a problem as my hair is already wavy. Is there any chance it will get rid of the grey stuff as well. A new head of hair with no grey would be great!!

Lisa

16

Hi,

Yes, I had a touch of grey and so far, there’s none !!! My mum had the same thing 6 yrs ago - she was 68 at diagnosis with some grey scattered all over and it all came back black for a long time. Even now, there are comparatively few considering her age.

Liz

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well I will definately be keeping my fingers crossed for that then.

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No grey! That is good news indeed. I thought it might turn me completely white. I’m only 45 but from being a strawberry blonde/light auburn, I’m now getting asked if I’ve gone blonde and who’s done my highlights! lol

MrsOllie, blubber away. This is an experience outwith anything you probably expected, and what you’re feeling just now is totally normal. You sound like a strong lady. This shock part works itself through quicker than you think, but that doesn’t mean you won’t still have a bad day, hour, or just 5 minutes. You don’t need to stay in control all the time, just shake yourself down and take it one step at a time once you’ve had a good cry, scream, thumping the wall, or chocolate eclair wipe out (my personal favourite)!

Carole

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Hi Carole,

I was 42 at diagnosis - no white either !! People ask me if I have coloured it now - it’s sort of mousey brown with blonde tips that look like highlights. I can’t decide whether to have it short or grow it long again but am going to have it cut a bit on a trip to London soon (a treat to myself - 1st post-treatment cut) see how it goes and decide from there !!

Liz

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Hi Liz
I think I just confused everybody! “Insert embarrassed smiley”. I haven’t started chemo yet. I was trying to say, and not, how it would be great if my prematurely going white hair would be great if it comes in coloured again. I’m an idiot, I know :slight_smile:

London. How I envy you! My hairdresser, the first I found that actually understood my hair, has just moved to London. Disaster. Wish him luck, but seriously, did he have to move, this year is when I need him most! Bit of a long shot I know, but his name’s Gordon and he comes from South Lanarkshire. You never know, you might bump into him.

C