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I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

9 REPLIES 9
Member

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

I`m in America (heading back home soon) and having a therapist is almost compulsory.Sometimes it was as if mine was the only person in the world on my side! You`ve had a really tough time and you`ve faced it bravely. Please feel good about talking to somebody. We cant all struggle on being dignified all the time, sometimes it`s all got to come out. I think you`ve coped wonderfully!

Member

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

Why do we find it so hard to ask for help? I have had a computer problem, not in the same league as your challenges, but it had me really twisted up all weekend, something I managed fine last year but this time round just could not cope with it at all. I finally asked for help this morning and it was all sorted for me in ten minutes, no charge. Easy. Why this fight to do everything by ourselves when there are some lovely people just waiting to be asked. Hated having to admit to needing help, but it was much less bad than the state I had got myself into by last night!

Member

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

Hey shenagh hunny

Hope you get some help from your psychologist... And don't worry if your cry all the way through the session they are used to that.

It's important for you to stay well to look after yourself and Jai.

Life isnt easy after BC and life isn't easy as a single mum so it's even harder when you combine them both but it can be done and you will get through it too and the dark days will be come brighter.

Lots of love to you and Jai.

Lxxxx

Community Champion

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

As the others have said,"well done"!! The first step is often the hardest. You have done tremendousley so far anfd now a little bit of help is well deserved - good luck I hope you find it useful.With very best wishes, Julie x

Member

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

What they said!

Don't worry about blubbing. I have a running joke with my counsellor. Every week I say I'm not going to cry and every week I do!

Except last week when I walked in holding soggy tissues and didn't even try not to, but felt much better afterwards.

What you've been through is several major life traumas all within a very short space of time. you'd have to be Superman not to suffer the effects.

Big hugs

CM
x

Member

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

So pleased for you She,
You have ploughed on long enough and done a grand job. If you can get a bit of help and support then you are benefitting yourself and your children too. It takes such a toll dealing with all of this on your own.
I am so glad that you have been able to 'let your guard down'. Well done you. xxx

Member

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

Hi She

Reiterate both the above posts - well done!!! Asking is sometimes the hardest part! I went for counselling years ago for something totally unrelated but I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did - it really sets you up for all sorts of life skills which you carry throughout your life - I wish you all the best for it and yes, no doubt you will spend your first session with a box of tissues but hey - psychologists are used to that!

Hope things are on the up very soon for you.

Jan
x

Member

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

Well done She! The best bit of what you wrote is this "just wanted so say that I'm a wee bit proud of myself..." HURRAH! So you should be, cos you have done something amazing. I really hope the psychologist helps you build on that and you feel really good about youreslf and are able to enjoy your life with your little one.

Big hug of support.

Member

Re: I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

Well done you!!!!
It will do you the world of good to totally offload to someone that doesn't know you, get everything off your chest and if you cry all the way through it so be it.
I've been going for almost a year now and have found it really beneficial, have cried a lot but also managed to laugh too. Mine was initially for something else but when I eventually received the appointment I was just waiting to hear if I had cancer or not, so my appointment came at a great time for me.
It really does help, hope you get on really well, please keep us up to date, take care and big hugs to you xx

Member

I've finally asked for help (gulp!)

Hi ladies

Just felt the need to share how I am feeling with somebody. My 'normal' friends (if you know what I mean) don't understand how I feel, but I know my BC buddies always do.

For those of you who don't know me, I was DX May 2009, aged 38, with an eight month old baby. Had lumpectomy and rads then the following year had a risk-reducing double MX. During the 18 months following my MX, my husband left me and our little son three times, saying he couldn't cope with my illness. Each time he left, I had just come out of hospital a couple of days before.

I later found out he was an alcoholic, and had hid this from me during our six years together. So, the last time he left me (October 2011) I told him not to bother coming back, which he hasn't. I work full-time, and my family had been living in Spain so I really had no-one to help me with my little boy.

My parents have now taken the decision to move back to Scotland, so they are here to support me, and for that I will be forever grateful. However, over the past few months, I have been feeling so down and tearful. I am constantly exhausted, yet rarely sleep, and the slightest thing sets me off crying. My husband (and his mother) take my son for three hours a week, and other than that it's me and nursery who care for him.

I took the plunge a couple of weeks ago, and contacted my BC nurse and told her how I was feeling (with lots of tissues!). She has referred me to the psychologist at my local cancer unit, and I have my first appointment with her on Thursday. I'm really nervous that I will spend the whole session crying, but maybe that's a good thing, I don't know.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm a wee bit proud of myself for taking this first step in asking for help. As women, it's something that we rarely do.

Love and hugs to all xxx