I am terrified of going bald. I’ve had first cold cap. I’m scared it wasn’t cold enough and it won’t work. I had it on Fri 28. I think my hair will fall out next week. I’m terrified.
I tried freezing a water bottle and holding it on my head. I don’t think it’s cold enough. How can I freeze my head?
Hi IWTL -
Your head only needs to be cold during the chemo infusion - there’s nothing to gain by being cold the rest of the time (except maybe hypothermia!).
Do you know why baldness bothers you so much? Is it that it may be the only visible clue that you have BC?
It really isn’t a huge deal in the scheme of things, and it is only temporary - have you got yourself some nice hats and scarves to wear, and/or a wig?
I never bothered with a wig - I wear a hat (sleep cap) round the house, and and dress up with scarves when I go out - often with bling jewellery attached. Sometimes I wear the sleep cap and a Fedora when I’m out - it looks quite smart.
One thing I do recommend is eyebrow makeup - it makes a huge difference to your face, and so seeing yourself in a mirror is less of a shock. (I use Browzings by Benefit).
Hello IWTL
I posted this picture earlier after 5 FEC - PM me if you want any cold cap advice - obviously I can’t say if it will work in the same way for you but it is worth trying.
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/comment/2072428#comment-2072428
I do understand your feelings about your hair as I was the same, having said that after the 3rd FEC although I was pleased to be keeoing my hair, it didnt seem as important and I have a wig just in case (still unworn).
Good luck
Jayne x
It is a HUGE thing being bald.
I know this is blunt and politically incorrect but it is true: bald men are normal. Bald women are freaks. Also I am sick to death of everyone saying it is temporary. It is NOT
IWTL, IT IS TEMPORARY! I didn’t’ use the cold cap, couldn’t be bothered. Did I like being bald? No. Was I a freak? Most certainly not. I may have been a bit different but so what. If I sound like I was bald and proud I can tell you that is so far from the truth, my heart broke when I lost my hair, even though it’s now grown back the memories are still really distressing. I didn’t want anyone to look at me, I wore a hat everywhere all through the summer and boiled half to death but took comfort knowing that if it had killed my hair it would kill the cancer.
It will be over before you know it.
I am sorry if I upset anyone but to me I WOULD ALMOST RATHER BE DEAD THAN BALD. I NEVER WANTED CHEMO. THEY TOLD ME IT WOULD PROBABLY ONLY BE RADIO. IT’S NOT FAIR. Temprorary would be if the hair grew back to exactly what it was within a few days or a couple of weeks. It takes months for hair to grow back short and YEARS to grow back to long. I have long hair, I NEED long hair to feel atractive because I only have an average face. My looks are about to be ruined.
The surgeons tried to chop off one of my breasts as well.
All I want is to live a normal lifespan, have the normal number of breasts and long hair. I HATE MY LIFE. IT IS RUINED.
Temporary means it will grow back, no it won’t be within a few days but it will grow back. I had very long hair too, I need long hair to feel attractive. I was told I’d only need radio, I have a 5 year old daughter, I worry myself sick that she’ll grow up without me, life isn’t fair but you have to cope with the hand that has been dealt. You didn’t upset me saying bald women were freaks, but saying you’d rather die than lose your hair does. None of us want to lose our hair but I’d do ANYTHING to live.
Hi IWTL,
I think I know how you feel! I was diagnosed in October 2012, and one of main fears was loosing my hair. I have had quite long hair all my life.
I have two children and my nine year old son was devasted that I was going to go bald, we had lots of tears. I promised him that I would do everything to keep my hair.
Before the my first treatment I got a great wig and bought loads of hats just in case…desperate to plan ahead, I had my hair cut to shoulder length to take some of the weight out of it.
During my first Fec treatment I had the cold cap, I just kept thinking 'This is for Jacob!"
After my first treatment my hair started to thin. My son got increasingly worried.
I then had it cut to a funky choppy style that I loved!
The day before my second FEC, I decided not to have the cold cap again. For lots of reasons but sat & discussed it with my family.They all agreed with decision and my reasons.
My 2nd FEC treatment was so much easier and quicker, however within the week my hair was falling out at an alarming rate, it was everywhere, driving me & everyone potty!
On 23rd Dec, my hairdresser used the clippers on my hair. I was devastated! I cried, my sister cried! My poor hairdresser didn’t know where to put her face. I ran upstairs cried again, put some make up on & my wig.
Since that day my fear of hair loss has reduced significantly! Its already happened, it’s not that bad! Over Xmas we had a few outings, my son asked me to wear my wig or a hat but I just didn’t want to. It felt strange, not sure why! However, he came to me and said, "mum, I’m feeling so much braver…nobody looked at you once! I then felt braver too. I went to our local pub today for lunch & nobody even looked! I feel that I’ve gone from the sublime to the ridiculous on this journey with my hair !
Apologises for my ramberlings I just wanted to try & reassure you that its not the end of the world! I’m not vain, just wanted to stay feminine.
Good Luck!!!
Jx
I quite agree with Chascat, I also lost my hair - now months later it is growing back and I and my family are very grateful that i am here. Not fair is dying and leaving a young family.
Very true Chascat, losing your hair is traumatic but a small price to pay. Mine is growing back thick and curly - not as it was but I love it nonetheless xxx
My god get a Grip! Surely getting rid of cancer and ensuring you do all you can to keep it away is more important than hair! Yes it goes but it also grows back. I lost I mine I march but now it’s back thick and curly.
Dear I want to live, I am sorry that you are feeling so scared about everything. I am undergoing chemotherapy right now and my hair is slowly falling out. It brought back memories of the first time that I had chemo for BC. I found it more upsetting losing my hair than having a mastectomy because when I looked in the mirror there was no more denying that I did in fact have cancer and I was so scared. But I did have the chemo and my hair grew back in. I did not want the chemo. It was a particularly toxic and nasty type of chemo that they no longer use now for BC. I had horrific side effects that resulted in me having to be admitted to hospital a couple of times. But I got through it and my hair did grow back.
24 years later, having had other chemo since I found that my BC had spread to my bones, I am now back on chemo again, called Taxol which I have to have by infusion every week until April.
I think you must try to speak to someone you trust to talk about your fears and exactly how you feel. This coud be someone at a Maggie Centre if you have one near you, or a Mc Millan Nurse, or your Breast Care Nurse or your GP or Consultant. Any of the above who you feel you could talk openly about this.
I remember feeling scared, angry, upset and bloody furious when I had to face the same thing as you. I was 39 the first time I had to deal with this. I had a great Breast Care nurse who held my had and listened to me.
What you are feeling is not unique to you. What you are feeling is very common so do not feel a freak. You are bound to be feeling scared and anxious. All I can offer is a helping hand. To let you know that you are not alone. I know that my fear of not being here at all won in the end. I so wanted to live and the loss of my hair was such a small price to pay for having extra time with my loved ones. I wish you well and hope you can come to terms with this with some outside help. You need not try to deal with all these issues on your own. PM me any time if you want some support. Hugs for you, from Val
And mine was curly pre breast cancer and has come back curly and I love it as well!
Going bald is the least of your worries
It does grow back without the chemo so does the cancer
Sorry if I sounded harsh but it does get better
I think it’s only natural to worry about losing your hair. It’s part of your identity. It’s bad enough trying to cope with everything else to do with breast cancer without having to worry about losing your hair.
I used the cold cap and lost about 60% of my hair. My chemo stopped in July and my head still feels really sensitive to the cold even though the hair is growing back. I hated the way the nurses used to say to me “Just think your hair may grow back a different colour and be curly” as if it was something to look forward to. If I wanted my hair to be different I could dye it or have it permed.
I have had to have my hair cut shorter and initially had my fringe cut from the back of my head so I had a lot of hair to comb-over which reduced the look of thinning hair no end.
In the whole scheme of things losing your hair isn’t the worst aspect of the treatment. Check out what type of wigs are available through your local NHS. I bought a fabulous long haired one. A friend and I had a couple of great days out trying on wigs and getting the giggles about how funny some of them looked.
Clever use of brow pencils and eyeliner disguised the loss of eyebrows and eyelashes and once they grow back use Benefits They’re Real mascara which makes any lashes look fabulous.
I hope the cold cap works for you. I think it’s worth persisting with it even if you do lose some hair. I was amazed at how much hair I lost while still keeping a reasonable amount of cover on my head.
All the best, Calyco
It is time to change your life priorities and way of thinking (the mindset). It is not happening in a day - it’s will take months. Everyone’s life comes a time when it should be done. Whether you have cancer or a hair falls out, or you are physically and mentally healthy. I am totaly agree with kellc.
I found i want to live’s posting sad. I have read her first post and that was also quite sad. There are other issues going on in her life apart from the bc. Her posts tell me she is in need of counselling - which is available no matter what area you live in.
However, im am choosing to go bald and I will defo not look or feel like a freak - if my husband oh or what ever you want to call him, didnt like it - tough ****. I also wouldnt let my oh tell me im dossing. I would tell him to jog on.
From I AM NOT A FREAK BECAUSE IM BALD - which is a total insult to woman.
I actually find your comments deeply offensive. I went through chemo last year, lost all my hair and embraced it. The women I met, also bald did not look like freeks they looked beautiful. Getting rid of the cancer is the most important thing.
my view for what its worth is that we are all trying to reason with someone who is clearly unbalanced and not thinking straight at the moment and her views are very extreme to say the least! Councelling is what ‘I Want to Live needs’ if you are reading this you need to go and seek help from the professionals - losing your breasts and losing your hair are things whilst you cannot control you can come through the other end… but you need to seek help and get mental stability this will help you face the future and the uncertainties you will have - if you really want to live (as in your title) do this and do this immediately losing your hair is the least of your worries… x