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I want to scream!!

22 REPLIES 22
ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

Ooops, double posting.

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

Buzzy - what they all said.

Crappy bit of news you could do without, but at least you're now out of "the waiting room" for your results.

I've been reading almost incessantly since dx, and from what I can see Tax is for nodes, so that's probably why. There are a few good threads on here that discuss the differences in SEs for FEC and Tax (ladies, some specific suggestions for threads to visit?) and it seems that the SEs aren't the same, with less nausea on Tax, but more exhaustion. I'm sure you'll be able to pick up loads of tips on dealing with the Tax truck (like black nail varnish!) when you're good and ready, but until you're ready, you have every right to just feel downright peed off - I sure as hell would in your shoes.

Hugs,

CM
x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

Oh Buzzy - what awful news. We are all here for you - you will get through this.

Big hugs
Janette xx

Rustyharas
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

Buzzy, really sorry, I know I felt the same about getting to the end... Thank god that is over. But it has to be done, you will get there, and when the Tax is finished and you look back you will think.. Thank god that is over..

Best of luck, hope you keep the hair and that it continues to grow.

emmy
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

Oh Hell!!! I have tried to pm you several times but the blasted things don't go! Not sure what I am doing wrong!
I am so sorry you have had this news what a total bummer!You scream and shout as much as you need to it's a real b---h! I will be thinking of you let me know how you get on xxxx

Buzzy
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

I'll try and remember that saying. Thanks Rosie

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

I had to have a break between my second and my last tax due to my reconstruction going wrong and needing surgery. Although it's not as bad as your situation I can understand the feeling of the goal posts being moved. You psyche yourself up for an end date and it's snatched from you. You will do it though. I heard a saying once about breast cancer treatment and it definitely applies to you, ''it's a short year for a long life.'' Keep going and good luck xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

Oh Buzzy, that sucks!

I had a 10 week break between AC and Tax and it was sooo hard to prepare myself to go back to it. But I did, and it really really helped to tell myself that this was different, this was the newest, best drug for my type of cancer and was attacking those cells in a different way.

There will be an end to it.
xxx

Buzzy
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

Thanks everyone. I've done a bit of wailing and screaming and am now trying hard to get my fighting spirit back. I know its for the best and if I got through it once I can do it again but today has been like deja vu and I feel like I'm back at the beginning again.
But I'm sure with the support of the lovely ladies on this site I will get through it.
XXX

xwelcomex
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

OMG you poor love. I was cheesed off enough when they told me 6 x FEC-T and then upped it to 8 x FEC-T after they found 7 nodes involved, so you must feel awful.

I guess one way of looking at it is that 6 fec and 4 tax is real bib n braces stuff. But you're not there yet, so for now go ahead and wail. Thinking of you xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

What a bummer!scream and shout all you like,I would be devastated to have to revisit chemo again,but it probably is your positive nodes that have tipped the balance this way,you can do it,if this is what it takes to knock this foul disease on the head so be it.
My best wishes and thoughts are with you.Traceyx

dancing_girl
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

I really feel for you, it must be dreadful news, so close to finishing FEC x 6. You will manage it, but your have all our sympathy.

Big hugs. Stella xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

Hi Buzzy,
I'm so sorry about your rotten news, I really feel for you.
Keep strong and hang on in there - You'll get through it.
Huge hugs
love
Helen xxxxooooxxxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

(((((((((((((((((((huge hug )))))))))))))))))))))

Mezzomamma
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

So sorry, Buzzy! What rotten news.

Cheryl

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

Buzzy... *&%%£$*!!!!!! So sorry to hear your news, that is rotten. I've just done 3FEC and now have 3TAX to 'look forward to'.. and that is hard enough, I cannot imagine how devastated you must feel to realise that you still have more chemo to do.

So, no words of wisdom, or advice, just huge hugs and lots of stamping and swearing on your behalf. Hang in there girl.

Sophie xx

Midge
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

Really sorry Buzzy. You must be gutted. I started to get my hair back after my second tax if that is any help. Have a good scream and shout. It is all so Sh*t.

Take care

Debx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

Hi Buzzy.
I am so sorry to hear your news. I was originally planned for 6xFEC T chemo, which finished last week ..ye ha, however I only had two FEC sessions then they gave me 4xT chemo as I was not responding too the treatment as well as they expected. I just wanted to let you know that my hair stated to grow back after no 4. So you may not lose your hair, I think that it is the FEC that does it. So whilst it is a blow for you..(scream,stamp your feet and throw a few pillows!! as your entitled to .Fingers crossed that you may keep your hair. Why dont you check with your oncologist??
I wish you all the best, hope that it goes well.

Michelle x

Alto
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

Oh Buzzy, how horrible for you, just when you thought it was done with. It's probably because you've got nodes involved - from reading various posts I think tax tends to be given if you've got affected nodes so at least you can be sure they're doing the best thing.

You shout and scream all you want - we're all in there with you!

Hugs to you,

Jane xxx

poppy333
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

sorry to hear your news.

keep strong, you can do it, xxx

Petal5
Member

Re: I want to scream!!

Hi. Sorry that you have had this bad news but you got through your 6 fec and you WILL get through this too. It must be so hard when you thought you were done with chemo to have to go back and face more. Really feeling for you and sending hugs your way.

Pam x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: I want to scream!!

Hi Buzzy - you scream out all you like, you're entitled. I understand you'll be gutted right now, in time i hope you get over the huge disappointment and get back in your fighting zone. I'm so sorry its happening to you, wanted to send you huge cuddles and good thoughts. It may not be very significant at the moment, so sorry if its irrelevant but i don't think you always lose your hair with tax - no doubt other ladies will be able to advise on that. Thinking of you.

lynn
x.

Buzzy
Member

I want to scream!!

Hi ladies
I have received some devastating news today and that is that I have to have more chemotherapy.
I have had 6xFEC which ended in December. Then I had a WLE & axillary clearance two weeks ago. 3 out of 10 nodes were positive which was a bit of a shock as originally they thought there was no lymph node involvement.
I have already been told that I need a re-excision because the margins were not clear so that is booked for 14th February and today at my follow up appointment in Oncology they dropped the bombshell of more chemo. 4xTAX this time.
At the end of chemo last time I was relived that I never had to feel that bad ever again and so the thought of that vile feeling 4 more times is just too much to take in at the moment!
Just when I thought I was over the biggest hurdle, my hair is coming back nicely and I could see light at the end of the tunnel, someone has stomped along there and snuffed it out and I feel like I'm back to square one with another few months of treatment ahead.
Excuse me while I scream into a pillow!!