I did read your post previously, but didn't reply as I lost my libido years ago, long before I had BC. I can't see me getting it back now. It is interesting though that nobody else has posted with the same 'problem' as you.
Like most other people who have responded, I can barely remember what a libido is.. But equally I do remember when I was younger and had split up with my long term boyfriend, my libido just wasnt ready to accept it. It wasnt a pleasure.
I think that too much of anything can be just as bad as too little.
Having said this ,do try and see the magic in being turned on by beautiful music. If it really is becoming a nightmare, Relate seem to be developing some cancer focussed services and also many of their therapists have psychsexual training. They may be able to help you feel more at ease with it.
There are so many should and shouldnts about libido..
any way I do hope that things resolve for you
Your responses ( and the many ' reads' without responses) convince me that I was wrong to post-but thankyou two ladies for doing so anyway.
I can assure you that during two ptevious cancer episodes I have been where you are and up until the last few weeks did not believe I would ever get 'back to normal'...so if nothing else draw hope from my present state.
Whether my situation is a source of amusement or easily dismissed, it is nevertheless a consequence of living with and beyond cancer, so I had hoped that someone out there might have shared it. Not so, it seems. So maybe I am just going a bit barmy after all...
Take care all.
I just wrote a post and caught sight of yours. I felt awful to read and 'run' but I have to say it did make me giggle. L...I...B....I....D..O - What is that?! Sex- oh yeah, it can be fun! I had forgotten and your comments really took me back to a time in my life I had forgotten. I don't know if you have ever read a book called the 'time traveller's wife' (think its a film, but it is sad) but basically the main character travels back and forwards in time through his life and it made me wish we could do that, you could go back and be with your husband in his youth and you would be well-matched.
I have nothing to offer but seems to me you need to channel those feelings, but you could read the grey books, read some Nancy Friday, buy a vibrator, visit Anne Summers. Be like Mrs Robinson. How amazing to feel sexy and alive. Go Wendy!
(ps am sorry that this is perhaps not the respone you were loking for)
I feel a fraud with such a 'problem'. So hopefully I will give you all a good laugh reading this and redeem myself.
First, the boring stuff...I had a mastectomy eight months ago and have been on Tamoxifen for seven. I am twelve years post menopausal ( but only 53-chemo for another cancer gave me an early menopause.)
I have had very few side effects to speak of-a few hot flushes lately and a bit of memory loss.
But what I wasn't expecting was the INCREASED libido. For the past few weeks I have been like a mad thing.
My husband works in London all week, which is probably just as well or he'd be dead from exhaustion by now!
I know I should just enjoy this, but it's actually getting to be embarrassing. I think of little else and any mild flirtation gets turbo charged in my imagination: I really wish the heating engineer who has just replaced our radiators wasn't so cute...and as for one of our uni lecturers....who I'll go back to in a fortnight...sigh...will I hear a thing he says while gazing at his wrists ( anybody else get that one too?) Even listening Vivaldi turns me on! All my senses are heightened and I feel as if I've just fallen in love for the first time. It is distinctly weird and it would be comforting to know I'm not the only one who's had this effect and that I won't be locked up soon!
Gosh..the things we admit to on here...tell me I'm not odd, someone, please! And feel free to howl !