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Inbetweeners!!

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Cider here!!!
I have a newly planted cider orchard and made my first cider in October....so I will supply the cider...well I am from the west country ooo arr

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With all these dogs around, reckon we'll need a peeing post too. Just how big IS that carpet? Actually, sod the dogs, can we have a nice comfy loo, with a radiator in it so it's not too cold in there, and lovely soft loo roll. Might as well travel in comfort if it's going to be a long journey.

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Norberte can you bring some strong painkillers with the magic carpet please? I'm on my last TAX on Tuesday....

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Chocciemuffin - yeah I'm a border collie nut - have four of them all rescues. The one in the photo is seven years old and we only took her in a few weeks ago. She's absolutely gorgeous and has these curls of fur from her ears which join up to form a little heart shape. So cute.

Haven't noticed any one mention cider yet - have to say that tends to be my tipple although since I got dx haven't been able to take alcohol tend to go into a major downer so looking forward to a major drink session catch up when I get through all this. So may be a cider on the magic carpet.

Reeb x

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Chilli G&B sounds lovely! Not tried it, how have I missed it? I'm a beer drinking girl too, only recently converted but definitely keen. My brother has a micro brewery (what a lucky girl I am!) and once made a beer with chilli in it 🙂 He makes some lovely IPA too, and a tasty chocolate orange stout. Shall we call in and stock up on the way to the party?
X

Oh, yes, I have a dog too, a wiry long legged Jack Russell who makes a great pub dog!

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Morning all! Can we please also have some intravenous morphine on that flying carpet, I know of at least one of us who's in surgery on Xmas eve so she might as well get her "fix" too.

Hope there was some sleep happening last night. It's snowing outside the window here and it was bloody freezing in my house. Never mind having to have a woolly hat to sleep in when bald, I have a full head of hair and I went to bed with a hat on last night, so you chemo ladies are in the company of the hirsuit too. Even my cat abandoned me and chose to sleep in the living room where my girlies have decided to camp out with the fire on low overnight. He knows the best place to be, that cat's not stupid.

Is it snowing on the moon? Will the carpet need to have skis attached or perhaps we need to borrow a couple of reindeer?

Just realised it was Reeb who has a collie as an avatar. In the absence of chocolate, Reeb, what treat would you like on the carpet? Do we need to make a detour via Ben & Jerry's for some icecream?

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Girlies
Not only G & T, red wine drinkers but girlies that drink pints! I have found my niche on these forums.

Chocciemuffin - so agreed a pint (or 6) of Pride is totally medicinal in any circumstances, however, also agree Otter when in that part of the world is excellent too, although the local to my friend serves a great pint of Doom straight from the barrel. Although don't own a dog, same friend has a lovely border collie, who is mine to walk Dartmoor with when staying. Same pub has a great log fire and a pool table too! More to the point is next door to one, from the house, no designated driver required, that's not to say that you're not more than welcome norbete 🙂

Chilli G & B - yum!

Welcome all and I think norbete's Xmas Eve plan is excellent, specially with mention of the Hotel Chocolat warehouse keys! Your PS norbete just about sums me up!

SJ xx

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I'm up for norberte being designated driver, my bestest pal and holiday companion is teatotal too, marvellous when on holiday we always get back to the hotel
On the stress side I think we can all recount histories, females stress over lots of things. To work or not after kids, is the OH upset about something I've done wrong.
Had my share, death, divorce moving and serious illness oh and a burglary tossed in for good measure, wether it contributes to going the bc group I'm not convinced.

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Only if you share the wine and chocs, Moser. Better if you have a few extra glasses for the rest of us to use, it's SOOO unladylike to swig wine from the bottle but I have been known to do so in desperate situations.

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hello, have just looked for first time at theis thread whilst sitting having a glass of red wine and some quality street (my oh's fault - he bought a great big tin!). I think I'm an inbetweener too - dx at 46, am 53 now, got shunted into menopause by chemo.
Great thread, so different, just what i needed! Hope I can join you!
love Mo x

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Norberte, you're definitely in - you can be the designated driver!

LIF, significant other's dog is a border collie, a bit blacker than the one in your avatar. Grumpy little thing with other dogs but loves people, if she's in the mood for them. Good company in the pub though.

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Thortons warehouse!!! Can I apply for postion of new best friend?

Hadn't thought about the stress thing but in 2006 my step dad who I was very close to but could never call dad as to me this would have been to call him something not nice, luckily we had chance to talk about this and he knew, was diagnosed with cancer and died just before xmas. My mum was just getting past the worst of the grief a year later when early in 2008 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She left us in April and my grief turned to comfort eating but thankfully early this year I made an effort to lose some weight and then found my lump. Had no idea that pain and changes of shape could be breast cancer so by the time I found the lump although it was only grade 1 was already well in the lymph nodes, 7/10. Only recently noticed the team were smiling at me more and found that my bloods were coming back good. My daughters and al, other family now know about how other changes need checking out too!

Seems like some schools/ health bodies are waking up as at latest female health lesson girls were not only given info about safe sex, vaccines to have, smear tests but also how to check their breasts and the other changes to look for.

And finally, normal day in south devon, 2cm of snow this morning an school closed.

Have a good weekend inbetweeners with plenty of chocolate, crisps, nuts and alcohol. 2.5 weeks past last chemo and red wine tastes normal, in other words wonderful!
Ali.
x

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Hooray another beer drinking dog owning woman! London Pride...oh yes....but you just cannot beat an Otter!!!(or if in Brittany Coreff or a Britt!!)
Beer, G&B choc, baileys, red wine.....is this the new chemo?....I wish!

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Another in-betweener here. 48, 4 sprogs from 23 to 12, currently have the Mirena coil and no menopausal symptoms (yet, until I start Tamoxifen, I s'pose).

Can I up your chocolate, red wine and Baileys and add a decent pint of London Pride? When the cysts I thought I had turned out to need a core biopsy my local provided me with three very good pints of anaesthetic, before I even got my diagnosis last week. Actually, sod adding a pint, I'll add a whole barrel, as long as the cellarman keeps it well. Log fire's a great touch too. Could I also add a dog as a very good excuse for a woman going into the pub on her own?

Green & Blacks, the mint one please - rather like very thick After Eight. And have you tried the chilli G&B? REALLY interesting flavour. But Quality Street will do nicely if that's what there is. (I have even been known to make myself feel sick on bars of chocolate-flavoured cake covering - god that is disgusting but it was all I had at the time, which was many years ago.)

Stress? You want stress? Well no, neither did I, but there ya go. This week I've ended up with a stress cold sore so my face hurts. Wish that were the only thing wrong with me...

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Hi there!

I'm an inbetweener too! 49 when dx six months ago, doing chemo first as 4/4 lymph nodes involved, mx due mid Feb then rads.

I like red wine but prefer cheesecake or carrot cake; Ooh and nuts, Love nuts which probably makes me a bit nutty.

So I'm 50 now, going on 20 something but feel and look older than old! And my onc told me I was young to have bc the other day!

Stress: Gosh had a fair bit over the years; divorce, dumped in pregnancy, redundancy, mum with bc (twice), been hit by a car, lost a good friend to cancer and there's more.....

But, I'm (well I was) a strong, positive thinking person and thought I'd coped pretty well with it all - but how much does stress play a part in bc later on down the years? I've gone back 25 years above, but does it all have an impact?
Think someone def needs to look into that one!

So do I qualify? Think bcc should do an inbetweeners section too!

Denise x

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Bloody FEC can't bear the sight of chocolate today let alone the prospect of eating any. This just isn't fair.

xx

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Hello Zelay,

Well done for using the forum. I would suggest you post your message again. Start a new thread under the Newly Diagnosed section. More people will read your message then and you will get plenty of support.
Stella.

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Hey Zalay
Give ur mum a big hug and keep telling her she will be ok...sounds a good prognosis and v treatable and caught really early. I'm a mum with it who has a daughter with it too....we will get through it and so will ur mum.xxx

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OOOOO its gone back now....must be seeing things!!!!!

Welcome Lulu Karen and everyone else in this inbetween category....so far common themes seem to be chocolate, alcohol and stress!mmmmmmm

Seriously though anyone got any ideas for what we folks need as a group....eg info, specific age related advice, meet ups, drug info etc?

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Hi Zalay
sorry about your mum. You must be really scared and upset. BUT, from what you say, they caught your mum's tumour in time. It is really small and if it's a grade 1 and it hasn't spread I think the prognosis can be good. More and more women survive BC than in the past. I wish your mum all the best for what lays ahead.Take heart. The diagnosis doesn't necessarily spell the end.
Big hug
Lulu X

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And I thought this thread was to discuss the programme! ha ha
well...it would seem I belong to this thread too and it is nice to meet so many women from other threads I already know...

I was diagnosed just before my 50th birthday this year. Had first op then ON THE DAY of my birthday I was told I needed a second op as the sentil node was affected and no clear margins. I had planned parties, big holidays, the lot before DX and I had to cancel everything PDQ! Not the happiest day of my life.

Like many of you have said I may be 50 but I'm going on 20. Teaching students helps to make me feel young!

Have a great OH and two great sons aged 24 and 27. Had the first one when I was still a student at Uni. Ok, he was an accident but the best one which has happened to me (unlike FECing cancer!)! So relieved I don't have young children to take care of. It would be doubly hard!

As for chocs and wine. Never liked wine or alcohol (sorry..a bit of a freak, it would seem). Off choc (and sweet things in general)courtesy of chemo(just had number 5) ! As well as coffee which I normally LUV! On to blue cheese instead. And Bovril. I'm sure I'll get back on choc though. Love the dark/nutty variety. Live in hope that they'll find it's good against cancer..:-)

Thanks LIF for starting this interesting thread! And sorry about your daughter...

Lulu X

P.S. I still see Inbetweeners..

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Ere....how did the title get changed to 'Please help'....from 'inbetweeners'.....or am I seeing things!!!!!

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hello everybody, my name is Zalay and i am from Nottingham. I really don't know how use this website so i am just going to post my problem here and see if you can give me some guidance.

My mum who is 57 got her result from the mammogram and they have detected a 1cm tumor, they said its probably stage 1 and they also confirmed the cancer had not spread. The doctor adv my mum to have a Lumpectomy along with the lymph nodes removed is under the armpit, we just agreed with him. My mum is really upset i have tried to be strong for her but i am also confused and afraid of losing my mum.

the doctor did say that the tumor was detected early, but i need to know is if this is curable and what kind of life expectancy my mum can hope for.

thank you so much
zalay

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OMG this thread should have been started months ago.

I was 46 when dx and got so fed up not being allowed on the younger womens fun but glad I am not old enough to be on the "very old" thread !!!

Can I please join in.....alcohol and dark chocolate are my friends

Might not have read all the serious stuff as skimmed through the posts so sorry if I am being inappropriate !!!

Karen x

PS - mmmmmmm stress. had loads. Single Mum of 3 kids, 1 with special needs. divorced for 5 1/2 years, house burnt down 2 1/2 years ago and partner walked out just after dx. Do I qualify ????

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Good news P!

I'm with the stress! Good diet and no dairy as allergic, lots of excercise and not over weight and I breast fed my two boys for 7 months each... did start my periods at 9 but am sure the aspergers husband and son plus 8 miscarriages, redundancy, self employment and recession didn't help (or did if you see what I mean).

Have decided I must have been one evil cow in a former life!!!

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Humour, wot women with humour!!! hehe keeps us on the side of almost sane and a great stress reliever. An aside I ex used to say women can't tell jokes, just one of the reasons he has been my ex since 1989.

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Hi Lilac, I wouldn't worry too much, I like a little humour in amongst the serious stuff.

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Another vote for the stress connection here! Divorce, teenagers, , full time work, elderly parent (living on own a hundred+ miles away and refusing to move)not enough time to keep up the healthy eating/exercise etc that kept me slim in younger years -

...and the biggest lose of all, NO CAT for the past 10 years!! Maybe it was the Cat that kept me destressed, had one since before I could walk !!

Would like to share my 'better' news too, as of yesterday told that the Mx got rid of two micro tumours not got with the WLE, 4mm and 2mm, + only one more node found, which makes 5/29 in total. Good clear margins - with having had clear CT and Bone scans already !

Staying on the Femara until Chemo in the new year... Keep warm and well this weekend Pxxx

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Sorry, missed a whole page of more serious postings -didn't mean to be flippant. I agree about the stress factor. I'm the kind of person who bottles things up and that can't be good. Thank goodness for the forums- been able to express myself here.
Lilac x

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Cadbury's Fruit and Nut and Thornton's Dairy Butter Tablet are my guilty pleasures and a nice chilled glass of Cava. Mmmmmm

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Stress is certainly a big part of my life and after this I'm certainly going to be reevaluating the part in plays in my life. It would be interesting to know just what precentage of breast cancer (charity etc) money goes into finding the cause. Yeah there have been massive improvemnets in treament, which I'm thankful for and benefitting from, but, and a big BUT, I would have preferred not to have been in this place in the first place. With my cynical hat on it might be that pharmaceutical companies just woudn't be interested in research of this sort as the money they make from cancer drugs must be enormous - but if there was a vaccine like cervical cancer it might balance the books and their interest.

Reeb xx

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bump

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I'll definitely put my hand up to stress so that makes two of us. I agree, I don't think it is down to diet at all because - all joking aside about the red wine and chocolates - I've always eaten healthily. I grow a lot of my own fruit and veg, don't eat many takeaways or processed foods, tend to mostly cook things from scratch, exercised regularly but it didn't make any difference, I still got bc. My weight gain was over a number of years of having the contraceptive injection and since I've now had to come off it, I'm not putting on an ounce. (luckily I didn't have the chemo or anything worse than the Tamoxifen) I'm sure it is stress and the hectic lifestyles we live. I very rarely have the time to actually sit down and relax, read a book and just 'chill'. It would be interesting to see how many women here think that the stress in their lives was a contributing factor.
Val

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Hi inbetweeners, think I'm one of you too. I'm 51 with a 9 year old and a very hormonal 14 year old. stopped taking HRT (been on it since 48) when diagnosed with BC 6 weeks ago. Had surgery to remove cancer and waiting Radiotherapy. Menopause back big style! Anyone else same? C xx

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I think the stress factor could be the reason why women in the 'western world' so called have higher levels of bc than elsewhere. I don't think diet which is all too often put forward as major cause has so much to do with it otherwise loads of lifelong healthy eaters, veggies and vegans would not be affected!
however the amount of stress we are under is more with all the associated stress of work, mortgages, partners, kids and society in general demanding much too much a lot of the time....I work under stress and even though we have a family history often wonder if it was the trigger?

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Yes I'm a firm believer in the stress theory, but when I've discussed it with the doctors and BC nurses they have said it was irrelevent. I have Spanish, German & Italian friends who have all told me that in their countries stress is believed to be a contributory factor.

Perhaps we could do a survey on here to determine how many people were experiencing stress before diagnosis. I've got my hand up so that's one.

Don't talk to me about weight loss ... I had spent a year on the Rosie Connelly programme and at the time of diagnosis was a lean mean machine - so lean in fact that I had to have tissue expanders for my bi recon.

Now .... got enough flab around my stomach for a pair of double js!!!! Am still blaming chemo & steroids but wonder how long that argument will hold water, particularly as I don't seem to be able to stop myself scoffing chocs, nibbling twiglets and downing the vino collapso!

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I'm with you on the stress. I can't help thinking that stress is a real contributing factor. I have a very stressful job and an awkward partner who thinks I work part time for pin money, (I work full time and earn more than he does!!), so does not value what I do at all. I can't quite decide whether it is more stressful at work or at home. (Hence the reliance on red wine, Baileys and chocolate). Weight was a stress factor too and the very month I was diagnosed, I had lost a stone in weight - good in one way - but I could have used that extra fat as part of my reconstruction instead of going just for implant. Sadly, I realised too late and could have saved myself the Weight Watchers subscription.

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lella,

Stress.....this HAS to be what is contributing to cancers.

Work/life/kids/career/partner/weight/mortgage/endowment policies that are worth nothing/pensions worth nothing/houses dropping in value/elderly parents..blah..blah..blah...kids who should've left and haven't.....and I still have to be the one to remember where everyone left ANYTHING..oh, and put up shelves.......

I have no other risk factors - don't smoke, don't drink, no cancer in the family, breast fed, didn't have kids late, run 15k per week.

It's definitely STRESS, and we're all our own worst enemy. I think it is worth some research.

love to all
Annie

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Enjoy the jumping around the sitting room, hope there is no one peeping through the window, have a great holiday.

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Haha good plan ... now going to bounce about to the BCC Fitness DVD in the vain hope that I can create a svelte bikini figure before we fly out for our christmas in the sun next week!

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Lella
Every mother has an obligation to eat the children's chocs whether Xmas or Easter, ENJOY. Just suggest you do not replace until Xmas eve!

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I am with you on everything you say Millykins. In the 80s I was a radical feminist who fought tooth & nail for women's rights, particularly in the workplace. I look back now and wonder if we were right. I also have a sneaking suspicion that stress may have attributed to me getting BC - immune system lowered and 'wham' though doctors will have none of it.

On a lighter note have now hit rock bottom - eaten the children's chocolate tree decorations and only just had breakfast!

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they may look back in history on this time as a travesty for women - particularly younger ones with children. after everything women fought so hard for in terms of equality, working rights etc etc & all we have got is children in childcare for 50 hours a week, houses no one can afford, stress & illness. don't get me wrong I'm not in any way hankaring after some supposedly good old days cos they didn't exist either - life has always been hard but somewhere it just all feels wrong & with so many young women being struck down with this plus other cancers something just feel terribly sad somehow. My views are being coloured by what is happening to me I know. Sometimes the "big" philosophical stuff creep in and I think "what the F*** is it all about?" but then I remember we are after all just the same as ants really & some of us get trodden on for no reason other than a big foot happened to stand there. There is no reason - it just is as it is - get on with it.

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I am holding my breath for the breast cancer vaccine, mentioned in the news last summer, for my daughter.

Hopefully before too long all girls will be having it at school just like they're having the cervical cancer vaccine now.

Let's hope & pray that it's not too long a wait xxx

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I remember yorkie - but of course I couldn't eat them cos I am a woman!!!Hee Hee
I have decided that I would set asdie a fund for my daughter to have ultrasound tests privately once she is of an age cos I am now paranoid about her. there is no previous family history with me but who knows what they will have found by the time she reaches an age where this is a risk - may have even discovered how to cureit or even prevent it?? (she is only 4 by the way!)

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50, diog at 47, post men but they did not belive me. Told at the time I was a younger woman but really I was not. It is all so personal, the age thing, the sense that you can have as being on the scrap heap. Young, middle older, it is all subjective, but I agree we all need to have some sort of place to run to now and then where others have like experiences, empathy... cyber hugs

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Can I join too. Diagnosed 18 months ago via ultrasound at age 47 . Lump didnt show up on mammo. Only got referred as my 78 year old mum had been diagnosed with bc and her consultant suggested I get checked out even though I and doctors couldnt feel any lumps.
Both doing ok at the moment though 🙂