On July 21st my world fell apart when I was diagnosed with BC. Was tough to take, as it was less than2 weeks from my first visit to GP, so in total shock.
i had a mx and recon and sentinel node on July 3rd. Got my results from histology on Wednesday, told I was grade 1, 2 tumours removed, 15mm and 16mm, am stage 2 and my ki67 score is very low at 0.1. However out of 5 nodes removed, 2 were cancerous.
The bad news is all I took home that day, IT HAD SPREAD!!! I didn’t sleep for hours that night?
i am now waiting to hear when I am having my full aux clearance then followed by chemo. However had been told I may have an oncatype test, has anyone else had one?
I can’t help but have a cry every day, especially when I look at my children, I worry for my future. I feel that I need to go to therapy and talk it out. I am 34 yrs with 2 step sons 18 & 14yrs and my son 7yrs and daughter 3yrs a with a wonderful supportive husband but can’t help feeling angry and frustrated as to WHY ME??
my friends and family have been amazing, flowers arriving every day, chocolates, offers of help with children. I even had my girlfriends Suprise me with picnics, afternoon tea and lovely get togethers.
however I need to talk to more people affected by cancer to understand chemo and what to expect! Everyone expects me to stay positive, but what about the days when I can’t!?
Hi Claire and welcome to the BCC forums
You may find it useful to call our helpline to talk your concerns and fears over with one of our team in confidence, they are on hand with emotional and practical support on 0808 800 6000, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays
The following links will take you to the BCC information for those newly diagnosed and starting treatments where you will find information and further support from BCC:
Take care
Lucy
Hi Claire, so sorry you have ended up on here but honestly it’s the best place to be in our situation, I’m 42 and was diagnosed with grade 3 BC on the 28th May, I’m having 8 cycles of FEC-T Chemotherapy before surgery and I’ve just finished my second cycle. I know it’s frightening and believe me i was terrified but it’s not as bad as you think, yes it makes you feel tired but the side effects vary from person to person, I’ve worked through mine taking a few days to work from home after each session, I’ve lost most of my hair which to me is the worst part so far:( I also had the worry of all the scans, had it spread etc but fortunately all clear apart from the lump which is thankfully already shrinking!
think positive and gain support from this site the ladies are amazing and take support from your family as I would be lost without mine especially my lovely son:) good luck and once you’ve started your treatment you will start to gain control, and remember if you need to scream or cry DO IT! It works wonders! hugs for you x x
Dend Claire,
Your post was very touching. I am 42 yrs with two children 6 and 3 yrs. It is still so early for you in this not nice journey and things have moved so fast that I would immagine you haven’t had time to process it emotionally. Hopefully the 2 lymph nodes are the first two and with luck and a good wind behind you, they are now history as they took them out. Obvioulsy all I can do is tell you that from my own personal perpective it got easier as time went on. Have you see the “mummy’s lump” resource for the children?
Good luck with all that is to come. Accept all the help that is offered because this is a time in your life that you will need it - you would do the same for your friends!
Take care
Deborah
Hi Claire
Here’s the link to BCC’s publication Mummy’s Lump and another link regarding talking to your children about your diagnosis.
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/mummys-lump-bcc164
Take care,
Jo, Moderator
Hi sorry you find yourself here. How you’re feeling is completely normal and you are not alone.
I agree with Caroline (Cazzer) once you start your treatment it’s not as bad as you think. I had the Oncotype Test and unfortunately the results were inconclusive so we went with Chemo rather than delay it further. I had an mx and anc (3/13) I was told I was lucky because the nodes had done their job and stopped the cancer spreading any further. Like Cazzer I’m 2 cycles into my chemo then I’ll have rads and Tamoxifen.
Yes I have bad days, days when I’m angry, days when I feel guilty my children have to see me ill, days when I can’t be bothered, days when I wonder where I’ve ‘gone’ but there are good days too! Days when I’m strong, days when I look at my myself and think ‘right let’s get on with it’, days when I forget, days when I take support, encouragement and share laughs with the lovely ladies on this site. Whatever happens, it’s doable, you will get through it and before long you’ll be the one offering support to others. Xxx
Hi Sorry you find yourself on here but others have said, it is the best place to be with all the support and guidance you can get from others. I have recently been diagnosed too and find the everyone is very helpful. I am afraid I cant commet on your personal situation as I cannot relate to your circumstances, but just wanted to say that we are here for you. Take care x
Dear Claire, I am also new to this site , this is my first ever post ! I had to reply to you because I also have young children aged 6 and 9 and I was diagnosed 4 weeks ago, I had a mammogram, ultrasound and core biopsy in one day, then told, that day that I had breast cancer . I can only describe it as complete devastation, I practically threw myself on the consultants desk and crying said but it can’t be cancer, I have children , im only 37. i felt like someone died, the grief, the anger and the days of constant crying that followed , I had to take diazepam for the shock . Even now I’m still raw and I have normal and bad days. I’ve had 2 lumpectomies and was due to start chemo today, but I have an infection in the breast (lump came up , all red and hurts) so it’s been put off to next week. I had grade 1 mixed, stage t2 (what does that mean!)
i just want to say I know how you feel and would like to know your progress, I also cry every time I think of my children and telling them was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do . It also panics me when other people see me and cry , why do they do that !
there seems to be many kind people on this site, take care, love Shelley x
Thanks to all for your comments!
the cancerous nodes found were 1 from the sentinel nodes and one found from non sentinel. I used Mummy’s lump when I told my young children. My 3 year old daughter loved it as she too is called Ellie! She took it to nursery each day and told everyone in the class that mummy had a cancer lump in her booby And might lose her hair! in fact every time my daughter sees me. Take a tablet, she asks if it is the special medicine and if she can catch my hair falling out! it makes me smile, as she is so innocent!
my 7 year old son is much more sensitive however and keeps asking if I can go back to hospital to get better, but that he also wants to see my consultant. I am unsure whether I can take him, as it is my safe place to get emotional as I don’t want the children to see mummy cry!
advice needed… I’ve been told my onco will want meto have an oncatype DX test, however, I am almost scared that they will say I don’t need chemo, as I am grade 1, stage 2, when I can’t get out of my head that the cancer may have spread from the nodes! Also I have read that to have the oncatype test you should be node negative, but I am positive.
i am just determined to do whatever it takes to blast this disease out of my body and I don’t want to take any chances!
also has anyone else have ki67 scores? How do they use this? Mine was 0.1!?