I went to Jane's funeral today and so far as I'm aware I was the only person there representing her cyberfriends. It was held in the chapel of rest at the funeral directors, with large windows and a small garden outside. She had a lovely woven coffin which may have been bamboo? The service was led by a humanist celebrant who had a lovely clear style. She led us through Jane's story and different friends and colleagues from different stages of her life spoke about her. It was very stimulating, as Jane herself was, and I felt she was perfectly summed up in their words. Several people mentioned her forthrightness, her intellect and love of/skill with words. They reminded us that she didn't suffer fools gladly, would not tolerate woolly thinking in her students, but was always very supportive of people(even while being brutally honest!). The ceremony began with Samuel Barber's Adagio, Sting's 'Fields of Gold' was performed with trumpet, keyboard ad voice, and we listened to 'why' by Annie Lennox.Two beautiful poems were read. I was humbled by Jane's determination and energy to fight for the things she believed in throughout her life. It made me want to be a better person and stop faffing about making excuses.
I felt that I carried you all with me, and I went and touched her coffin at the end of the service and said goodbye from us all.
As for Winchester, it must be very posh as they had piped classical music playing in the public loos, and a peculiar semi-pedestrinised street where i twice stepped out in front of a bus! That would have been the final irony and I think Jane would have laughed at that.
I hope this helps those of you who would have liked to be there to feel that in some way you were.
Rest in Peace Jane
Love Jacquie x
As always, Jane has made us all think in her last message.We all miss her thought provoking and insightful posts. No more pain, Jane, rest in peace.
Thank you, Jane, for your wisdom, thoughtfulness and robust practicality. I have my 1 year check today and over the last year found your posts an invaluable source of information.
I too will raise a glass to Jane today and my thoughts are with her, her partner and the many friends who are missing her.
It is the eve of your funeral Jane . I am worrying about being examined tommorrow 2yrs post op. Hope all will be ok. if not I only hope I have the strength , fortitude and dignity you had. I like to think of you in the arms of the angels , at rest, at peace. No more worry and suffering. I will be thinking of you and your family on your last journey tommorrow.
At time I didn't agree with some a Jane's postings. But I think that this last message just hits the nail on the head. I too am beginning to reject the 'pink-fluffiness' of the campaigning.
with love and condolences to Jane's partner. I will remember you tomorrow.
Thanks Daphne for posting this.
Jane was always so good at words and this message is so her. I can't be there tomorrow (though I would liked to have been) but I will be thinking of her and all who loved Jane (especially her beloved R who has lost someone very special).
I don't come on this site very often now but I'm shocked by how many women have lost their lives since I was last here. Names of people that I felt I knew, and used to look forward to hearing what they had to say.
JaneRA was one of them, always had some interesting and thought provoking comment and thats why her blog was so well read.
So sorry to hear that she has died. Rest in peace Jane my thoughts are with her family and friends.
Unfortunately I can't be at Jane's funeral tomorrow although I would have liked to be. But I will be thinking of her tomorrow - and R and all Jane's family and friends.
What a wonderful, thought provoking and eloquent message from Jane. So like all her contributions, which even if you didn't agree with everything she said you knew the passion from which her thoughts came. Her voice will be sadly missed on here, and my condolences to all those she loved and who loved her.
So sorry to hear that Jane had passed away, and hope that she is now at peace. Will be thinking of her partner and family on Monday.
It's my daughter's 18th birthday on Monday, or I'd be there. I hope there's a chance that Jane's last wish comes true. My family begins screening at UCH soon so for my kids' sake as well many other young women, I'll drink to that!
Nothing really I can add to the above posts, except that this world has lost a powerful breast cancer campaigner, who was prepared to fight for what she believed and as her post shows wants the future BC victims to be survivors.
my sincere sympathy to Janes partner, know you have been there with her all throughout this.
Will raise a glass to you Monday Jane.
Don't quite know what to say here I feel it's all been said far better than I could say it. I will miss your posts Jane. I will miss your wisdom, your no nonsense attitude. You were a very forthright woman who didn't mince her words and cut through all the c**p that surrounds bc. Not for you the*** positive...pinky pinkness..brave.. fighter.. all the silly phrases that people always come out with when they find out you have bc.. To be fair... what else can folk say. I will certainly miss you Eileen
I'm relatively new to the forum and speaking on behalf of my wife, whose first language is not English (and who received a primary diagnosis of lung secondaries in October at the age of 32, 4 year old daughter). This means I did not have the opportunity to get to know Jane, but her post touched me greatly and raises a number of questions that those of us affected by breast cancer might consider.
Jane made reference to the statistic of 12,000 women are killed by this disease every year, in the UK alone. President Obama has announced an extra $16 bn for cancer research this year - fair enough. But why has the United States spent $1 trillion dollars (12 zeros after the 1, I think) on futile wars after 9/11? I don't want to belittle the loss of the loved ones of those who were killed in New York, but it was a one-off and has never been repeated. But balance the amount of money spent because of this incident, which killed 3,000 people, against breast cancer, which, as Jane pointed out, kills 12,000 women every year in the UK alone. The money is there. Political priorities decide that it is spent elsewhere.
She was right to be angry about this. We should all be angry about this. I hope Jane's vision of the future comes true - my daughter will/should be 45 in 2050 and I don't want to be put in the position where I have to explain to her that supporting the military-industrial complex was more important than doing everything humanely possible to defeat a disease that unnecessarily kills 12,000 women a year in the UK alone.
Jane was always direct and to the point. No pussyfooting around for her. She told it as it was.
Even though she knew the bu**er would get her in the end, she still found the time and strength to answer threads - sometimes controversially - but that was Jane.
I am glad you are now painfree, Jane, and hopefully in a better place.
My glass is raised - here's to Jane and also to her vision of life in 2050. I will do my best to carry on with that message of hers so that some can see that vision becoming a reality.
Thank you Daphne for posting this.
I thought Jane's voice had been silenced but no, even after death she can reach out to us. I shall miss her more than words can say. She has been part of my life in a very real way. I have been surprised by how strong some friendships are which are made through the internet.
I miss you Jane, but I am glad you are out of pain, and I will be thinking of you and your partner on Monday 14th. I wish I could be there.
My condolences go to Jane's partner.
It's taken me until now to really understand what Jane meant about not wanting any reference to `bravery and fighting` she was so right, we are all trying to live life to the best of our ability and deal with what's thrown at us. We are not heroes, just unlucky.
Rest in Peace Jane
Here's to you Jane.I was dx triple negative at 62 and without some of Jane's wisdom and knowledge I would still be wallowing in ignorance and self-pity.
She was a remarkable woman.
My condolences to those who knew and loved her in real life,especially her partner.
She will be missed always.
So very sad that Jane is nolonger with us.
Fantastic that she got the last word in!!!
(In only the way Jane could to get us all thinking)
Good one Jane - it's up to us now to carry on the message. I'm sure you wil be making some changes in heaven (if it exists!), so I'm not entirely sure that peace was ever what you were after.
I shall be thinking of you for a long time to come
I am sat here in shock, having just read about Jane, as I very rarely come onto this site now to look at the forum threads. I am so, so sorry to read this sad news, and my condolences go out to Jane's partner and the families. I am triple negative, and will be honest and admit, that Jane and I did not, at one time, see eye to eye over some postings on here, but I know for sure that she was very knowledgeable and a great help to many girls on here, including myself. I really dont know what to say, except, Jane, rest in peace now, and yes, I will raise a glass to you to.
As a young victim of breast cancer i hope we achieve all you say 12000 ladies every year die is far to many.
i have valued all your comment and hope you are in a better place now.
Thank you Daphne and Janes partner for posting this last message from Jane.
A very touching message, with so much truth in it.
I too will raise a glass in Janes memory with a smile as well and hope that she is now at peace wherever she may be.
Goodbye Jane. I really enjoyed our discussions. You made me angry, you made me laugh and most of all you made me think.
My deepest condolences to Jane's family and friends.
That was quite simply moving and brilliant, a fitting tribute to Jane.
It brought a tear to my eye reading it. I will miss her postings.
I'd like to thank Jane's partner for forwarding this message to us. What a powerful message this is. Reading it took the wind out of my sails ... and so it should! Wow! Jane! What push forward is this? This is about the future ... this is about challenging the number of deaths ... this is about campaigning, radicalism and saying we're not fluffy, tickled pink women but instead are determined to eradicate this disease.
My cancer was not triple negative and I'm not one of the younger members of this forum. However, I have become aware through reading this site of the number of young women joining. I'm also very aware that within all types of breast cancer death occurs. However, for those diagnosed triple negative, there needs to be more research and outcomes.
We all have a duty to stamp on this diabolical disease. We all have a duty to challenge those media images that suggest everything is okay. Even one death, is a death too many! Every image that promotes something positive about the hideous surgery we have to go through to survive, is an image too many. Unless we promote the realism, we will never be taken seriously.
Jane, I hold up my glass to you. Rare it is for anyone to provide us with such a provocative, thoughtful post after their death. I'm full of admiration!
And to Jane's partner ... my deepest sympathies. Monday will be tough for you as will the many weeks that follow. How remarkable it is though that Jane has left such a legacy. Let's hope we don't waste it. I'm involved with Breakthrough and will most definitely up the ante!
Best wishes to Jane ... sorely missed already, and to her partner!
A very thought-provoking (as always) final post from Jane - let's hope that she is right and that one day breast cancer will no longer be a potentially killer disease.
My thoughts are with Jane's partner, family and friends and I will raise a glass to her this evening.
That message is so Jane.
A wonderful message to young women many of whom will get through this desease as Jane says and will be able to talk to their Grandchildren about it. Far too many women still die from this disease whether its 34 as my daughter was or whether its someone in their 60s, which is still far too young, but I am sure that will change in the future. Hopefully not too far into the future.
I will raise a glass to Jane on Monday 14th Dec. She will never be forgotten by the people on this site.
Wherever you are Jane I hope you are giving them some stick!
So very Jane. Thinking and campaigning to the last and, as always, telling it like it is. I will miss your intelligence and clear-sightedness very much.
No soppiness, Jane, just affection, gratitude and respect, and my deepest sympathy to your partner.
A very wise,eloquent and thoughtful last message. Thanks to her partner for posting it and my thoughts are with Jane's partner,family and friends at this time.
Thank you Daphne.
My Condolences to Jaynes Partner and family.
I watched with eagerness the way Jayne dealt with and looked into Triple Neg BC. Jayne also liked a good discussion and debate and again I used to read her words with eagerness.
So So sad on this day.
I shall raise my glass to you with a smile Jayne and wish you well wherever you are.
Wise words from an inspirational woman, thankyou Jane.
My glass will be raised with a smile and my thoughts will be with Jane's partner.
We could always trust Jane to tell it as it is and this final message is no exception.
Thank you Jane for your honesty always.
Here's to you. R.I.P.
Jane was so right 12000 premature deaths is just far too many.
I will raise a glass to Jane and all the other lovely cyber friends I have lost this year. Too many too young
Best wishes to Jane's loved ones at this sad time
My glass has been raised and I live in hope, although I find it difficult to smile at times!
Thank you Jane - your words will stay with me always.
Deepest sympathies to Janes partner and family x