'June Jewels' - Precious and shining through :)

[Suffolklady]

Morning shining ones.

The reaction that gets me is the I much prefer the "what a bugger!'" response!!
have a great day everyone. love and hugs (gentle ones for us post-op girls!) Cress xxx

[Maxie]

Morning Jewels,

Wrote a post last night but it disappeared!

Welcome Taylor J to our little group, great to have another recruit!

Ladies can totally empathise about the crying, sometimes nothing in particular triggers it, think its good to have a good bawl now and again tho, supposed to get rid of toxins too so that's a good thing!!
Must say the tears have got less as times gone on (I am now 3 months post DX) but Im sure they'll be flowing again when chemo etc starts!!

Fiona I know exactly what you mean when you say some people annoying, I think people genuinely don't know what to say sometimes, but like you I don't always want to talk about cancer! There is one person who now phones me every week (never did before!) and always starts with 'oh how are you feeling?'(in a really concerned voice!).....I immediately feel my heart sink as Im reminded that I have this bloody disease. Then I feel really guilty because I know she only means well!

There.....I've had my rant for the day too now!!

Wine tonight I think!

Enjoy your weekend Lovely Jewels....xxx

[Melrose15]

Morning! Fiona you've definitely hit a nerve with me about people saying the wrong things! I've had a rant either the Moonbeams about the same thing so you're not alone. It feels like I've lost who I am. Will the real Emma, the one pre cancer please reveal themselves!! I am a bit more cool about people's insensitivity now especially when a friend said I was turning into the Nan on Catherine Tate 'f…king liberty' lol :@
A few corkers! 'good job they caught it early' What? You mean good job I'm not dead and only had a boob removed?!
MIL - Why are you having your haircut, you've lovely hair.
You'll be fine. X was and she worked all through her chemo.
Lucky you not having to shave or pay for haircuts etc!
At least you'll be cured at the end.
Feel free to add your experiences Jewels. I think Fionas mum is right, we need distractions, so I'm off to buy some paints (who knows what my imagination will produce!)
Sun is shining as are we xxx

[Glasgow_Girl]

Morning Jewels
Hope everyone enjoyed their glasses of wine last night (those who were having one).

TaylorJ - welcome to the Jewels, great to have you onboard.

Martha - glad the heart scan is over. I'm reading lots about this, but I had no mention of having one at my oncology appointment on Thursday, so am a bit concerned about that. I'll ask my BCN - seeing her on Tuesday for another prothesis fitting (I think the one I've got is a bit big - it looks OK when I'm dressed, but just feels on the big side).
Like you, I also start crying at odd times - it's little things that set me off, like the hair products in the bathroom cabinet and thinking I might as well chuck them all in the bin.
You are really organised, Martha, notice you said we Jewels are now 13 in number. Keep us in line, will you?

Melrose15 - you and me both regarding photos. Have not figured out how to do this - can anyone provide some quick "uploading photos for dummies" instructions?

ChelleB15 - yes, I think the £100 should go a long way to a decent wig, but will happily add to the cost myself to get something decent. When I asked my friend to accompany me next week to try out the wigs, she was so lovely and pleased to be asked/ able to help - made me cry so much. I agree with all who've been saying this - when people are so nice to me, it's overwhelming and my tears are flowing. (On the other hand - I hate to say it - some people are annoying. I know they mean well, but just saying the wrong thing and asking too much about cancer. I want to talk about other stuff, although feel I don't have much else to talk about at the moment. I need to keep calling time on it and trying to change the subject. My Mum suggested taking up playing the piano again, which I may do. With months stretching ahead, I need to find something to occupy my time at home - any suggestions??)

Sorry, I've re-read the above and it's a bit of a rant - but I know you all understand. Please rant back if you need to.

All have a good day - sun is shining here in Cardiff

Fiona
xx

[TaylorJ]

Thanks for the warm welcome Martha and Melrose15! I know that it will be great to speak directly to ladies who are going through the same treatments. Not sure how I have got through the last 2 months, the waiting for results has been terrible but I feel that I can now draw a line under the surgery stage and with your support get through chemo. Hope the cording eases soon Melrose15. Take care. xx

[YB54321]

Evening Jewels,
Boy this roller coaster ride moves quickly doesn't it! Up and down up and down!
Hope all of you with lumps and bumps are taking it easy and enjoying more than a glass of wine! (make it a bucket - you're worth it!)
Welcome TaylorJ - hope your are coping and feel free to rant and rave as much as you need to on here, this forum is probably the only thing that has kept me sane!
My parents seem to have calmed down since my path came back good, my mum was in bits yesterday when the chemo was confirmed.
Scar is much bigger than I was expecting and very lumpy so I'll prob be in panic stations prodding and probing it over next few days!
Marie - thanks for popping by - I am starting with 3 x EC so it gave me a bit of comfort that you have coped with it.
I've ordered an ear thermometer today, wasn't cheap at £24! But wanted to make sure I got a reliable one. Now having fun & games with BUPA as my cover through work has a cap on cancer treatment of 25k per year so they aren't sure there will be enough to cover all my treatment privately. To be honest I'd be getting treatment at Jimmy's in Leeds through the NHS and I'd still see the same consultant and the onco unit at Jimmys is fantastic so I'm not really that bothered but the BC nurse at Spires is lovely so I'd miss her.
Martha - thanks for the tip re not coughing! Shall have a locket before I have mine done on Thurs! You sound just like me with people nice and getting upset. I got a parcel in the post last week and it was from one of the guys I work with. had sent me books, DVDs some herbal tea and a poem his 10 year old daughter wrote telling me how brave I was and it would be all up hill from now on. I cried for about 3 hours afterwards!
Fiona - sure you'll get a decent wig for £100. They haven't mentioned anything to me yet about vouchers but the ones I've looked at online have been really nice at that kind of price. I'm intending getting 1 more decent one close to my own colour and length that I'll get cut and styled at the hairdressers and then a bit more of a complete change as a cheap one off the Internet so if I don't like it I haven't wasted too much money.
Well Jewels I'm pooped so it's a boring early night for me. Keep shining xx

[Melrose15]

Taylorj, sorry you find yourself here but nice to have you on board. We are similar as in mx and ANC. We're all in this together and the ladies here are fab. Think we're all sharing a bottle or two of wine tonight 🙂
Glad I went to the clinic today. They are so reassuring and know their stuff. Thank God or we'd be all going mad with our aches, pains, lumps and bumps! I'd self diagnosed myself with lymphoedema, cellulitis and even convinced myself they'd left some cancer behind. I do think as a GP is a 'general' practitioner it's best to seek advice on specific problems from the experts.
Well luckily I can enjoy my glass of wine in the knowledge that I've just got some cording, under my armpit too Cress, agree Urgh!.
Fiona, whilst your at the dentist it might be worth asking him to prescribe you with all the oral stuff you need for chemo. Save you buying it?!
Looking forward to pics of pixies and wigs. I tried pasting a photo of me donning a headscarf but it came out huge?! As you can see from my profile I'm not good at this computer malarkey. Enjoy the wine. Chin chin xx

[MarthasSOS]

Hi TaylorJ

Welcome to the June Jewels - It's great to have you hear. There are 13 of us, including you now so we are mounting in numbers.

We have some wonderful Jewels here and you will get all the support you need - We even try to make you laugh from time to time lol.

If you click on my name, you will see my full journey in my profile 😉

You are very brave to have gone this far without coming on here. Well that's what I think. When I was dx, I told my OH that I didn't need to come onto the forum, but he said knowledge is power and I eventually came on here the day after my dx as I was having a melt down. Now, I'm on here every day, wether it be from my laptop or my phone. It is great speaking with other ladies that are going through the same experiences and feelings that you are.

Good luck for the 30th - Once you get that over with, it should be all systems go.

Take care & cyber hugs
Martha xxxx

[TaylorJ]

Hello everyone I think I will be joining the June Jewels! I had a mastectomy in April then an ANC on 10th May. I have an appointment on 30th May with my oncologist -I already know that I will be having chemo, rads and hormone therapy. I am 52, married and have a 14 year old son. I have been following the forum posts since my diagnosis in March and feel that I have learned so much and have been inspired by the support and encouragement provided by everyone. I feel that the time is now right for me to get involved as I really need your support Jewels through the next stages of my treatment. Hope that I will be able to give my support to you all too.

[MarthasSOS]

Hi Maire

Thabks for popping over - You are welcome anytime 😉
I think my biggest concern is the 2nd week after when your immune system goes down. I'm getting into a bit of a state about that, but I know that as long as I keep taking my temperature, I'll be fine lol. It's just the thought of it all 😉
Well done on your treatment so far xxx

[nanniereeree]

Hi ladies,
just popped by to wish you all well and to let you know chemo isn't as bad as you think it will be I've had my 2nd of four I'm lucky I'm only having EC not FEC-T like a lot of you . Sad that we have lost some of you from the may moonbeams but you are welcome to post on there with us 🙂
Marie

[MarthasSOS]

Hi Jewels

I hope you are all making the most of the sunny weather - It's nice in Scotland, but that darn wind is a bit cold.

I had my heart scan today. 1 isotope injection in left arm - 15 min wait. Then 1 isotope injection in right arm - 15 min wait. Then it was onto a bed with a big square above my left side and 3 sticky plugs on me. I was told to lie still but 5 mins into it, I decided that I needed to cough. Next thing I knew the bloody machine started beeping. One of my sticky things had come flying off so we had to start over. Another 15 mins later and my heart was given the all clear for chemo. Ladies who are having the heart scan.....DON'T COUGH lol xxx

DeeDee - I'm sorry to hear about your long wait, I'm just glad that from next week things are starting to move for you. The train will come fast and furious now. Haha, I'm glad I make you laugh.

Maxie - Thanks - I'm trying to stay positive for the kids and not terrify them. Seeing me bald will be enough to give them nightmares lol.

Joan - My haircut is on Mnday and I'm not sure whether to go for a chin length bob or a pixie. My OH will freak if I go for a pixie as he really hates long hair, but as I've already told him...I'll probably sport my wig from Thursday 😉

Chelle - Yay, good news sweetie, bet your happy. have fun in the bath, relax and enjoy.

Cress - Glad you went back to work for a bit of normality. I went to my daughters school today to give them my chemo dates and they were all too nice. I started to cry. I'm starting to get really emotional when people are overly nice to me.

Emma - I hope all went well for you at the clinic - Keep us updated 😉

Faye - Make sure that if you feel any tightness to get yourself to the hospital. When I had a touch of lymphodema in my boob, I told my bcn that I was going to go to my docs and she told me not to bother and they would just send me back to her. So if you feel anything different, get yourself to the hospital sweetie and get it drained 😉

Well....I had another good old cry this morning when I was blow drying my hair. God what's my problem lol Looking on the bright side, I'll be saving a fortune on hair care products hahahaha.

I met a lady today at the x-ray dept. I originally saw her in the waiting room at the hospital when I was getting my results - She will be having her chemo on the same day as me so we've decided to become chemo buddies. Thing is, she hasn't been on the forum, so I've told her if she gets a chance tonight then to join us Precious Jewels. I'm hoping she does.

Anyway, have a wonderful bank holiday weekend everyone
Love & squishy hugs
Martha xxxxx

[Glasgow_Girl]

Hi Jewels
Not been on the forum for a couple of days and so much is happening. Hope all well with everyone waiting for results, appointments, aches, pains and problems to be sorted. I must keep on top of the forum, as I find everyone's comments so helpful and inspiring. The June Jewels are a fantastic group and we are all in it together.

Had my oncology appointment yesterday - disappointed that I did not get a firm date for starting. Hopefully, it will be bloods clinic on Tuesday 4th June, with first chemo on the Thursday or Friday. Signed up for 3 FEC + 3 TAX, then radiotherapy afterwards.

As it's all systems go, also booked Headstrong for next Wednesday and a wig appointment for next Friday. Oncology nurse gave me voucher which will contribute £100 to cost of wig. Anyone got idea of prices for a decent one?

Suffolklady - how short is "pixie"? I've gone from long to chin-length bob and have appointment booked for "short" soon. Oncology nurse suggested weight of hair was issue for success of cold cap (which I am going to try) and also I think hair coming out in clumps would upset me no end.

Tried to book a Look Good Feel Better session, but no spaces until October - was encouraged to book anyway, as a treat post-chemo and to get the free bag of goodies!

Got a dodgy, cracked tooth as well - my dentist has filled it and I went back for him to check it today. He thinks it will hold out until the end of this year and possibly longer, but the only way to have 100% trouble-free (thinking ahead through chemo) is to have it extracted. He's booked me in for Wednesday, but it's my call to decide what to do. I cannot make decisions these days about anything - anyone else lost confidence about decision-making etc??

I feel I need a glass of wine. Everyone have a good evening.

Best wishes to all the Jewels,
Fiona
xx

[Flip_flop]

Evening Jewels,
Just got back from the doctors who has given me some antibiotics as not sure if getting an infection from the fluid in my boob. If the pain gets worse or feel ill over the weekend i've got to go to A&E, but book in with the BCN next week for her to check. I always get caught with stuff in the bank holidays.
Seems we are all having a bad few days lump, bump, and emotion wise.
Hugs to everyone. Might finish the bottle of wine I started at lunch (not a total pisshead but was as cheap the buy the bottle in pub than 2 glasses so brought the rest home).
Hope everyone has a good night.
Faye

[Suffolklady]

Got new Pixie hair cut!! OMG - it's short!!
Melrose, didn't speak to BCN - was at work - but I think I will tomorrow. Like you, everything is aching and I've now got cording in the armpit - eugh!
Glass of wine - that should help! xxxx

[Spurs79]

Hi all, had my appt for pathology results today following mx a week ago. The tumour was 3 cm but contained and nothing else untoward so on with chemo plan - appt with onc next Thursday. Next step of the journey begins.

[Melrose15]

That sounds lovely Cress. I too was emotional going into work. Everyone's so lovely and I'm not used to everyone being so nice!!
Did you speak to the bcn about your lump? I'm sittin in the clinic as I write. The swelling has got worse and my arm aches down to my wrist. I'm hoping its nothing a bit of psyhio won't sort.
Hope those of you wig shopping had fun. I love my short style so much I'm tempted to get a wig the same.
I hope everyone's feeling brighter today even in the miserable weather we've had in the south. Onwards and upwards Jewels, there's battles to be fought xx

[Suffolklady]

Went back to work today - quite emotional!! I got loads of hugs from the children and staff (so I'm really sore!) and a round of applause in assembly. I nearly cried. Feel so much better for being back in a 'normal' environment though. Much more positive today - thank you all Jewels - and got oncology appointment for 10th June. 🙂 Have a great weekend my lovelies. xxxxx Cress

[artemis17]

Hi all,
Maxie, thank you for the words of encouragement, i guess i have been the strong silent one, joking and being positive up until now and so i need to talk to my boyfriend and other about my worries and concerns.
Deedee, im with you on the waiting game. i had results a weks ago, told the same as you, scans, bone & mri before chemo can start, yet ive had nothing through yet. I spoke to my BC nurse who said after Mx and ANC they wait 6 weeks before starting chemo to let it heal, so even without the scans it would be another month before chemo time (like hammer time witout the baggy trousers lol). She said it will happen quite quickly once the scans are done so it is a horribel waiting game, i will just try to think ok normal life for another month, so do all the things i was planning for the summer such as day trips instead of holidays, shopping and lots of meals out :).
Chelle enjoy the bath, im jealous, ive been told to wait 3 weeks as ive an expander in so it needs to settle...showers or strip washes just dont do it for me...
We are an awseome bunch of ladies and its great to have you all there..our team against cancer hah!! it doesnt stand a chance!!. 🙂

[deedee215]

Hi Jewels,
Maxi thanks for that, I got through to the BCN this morning and she said the same as you it will be due to operation shuffling the tissues around. Have an appointment with her on mon to have a good talk with her as i am still not sure about reconstruction decisions decision lol, wednesday I see the oncologist, Thurs I go for CT scan not sure when for heart x ray yet unless they do it same day as scan hopefully.
Fimbo, I know the waiting is the horrible part isn't it. You start imagining all things. I will ask BCN on Mon if the chemo will go ahead before results of scans if she doesn't know, will ask oncologist on wednesday. As for my hair, I have done some hairdressing in the past so I cut my own hair and very fussy about it. It was shoulder length a few days ago there and i after I washed it i just went scissor happy on it lol so its now cut around my ears. I know when i go looking at wigs i will be so fussy and will want to cut it lol.
Happy wig shopping Jewels
Deedee xx

[YB54321]

Afternoon Jewels,
Having a good day today as my path has come back with clear margins and 0 nodes. So I now know a least the chemo is just to give me the best fighting chance of this not returning. Have said i just need the heart scan but no MRI as no node involvement. Plus I can't wait to have a proper bath now my dressing are off.
Nobody on this forum needs to feel alone as we have each other through good and bad times xx we need to get things off our chests and keep each other strong.
Right I'm off to book my haircut and wig fitting - bring on the pumpkin head 😛

[fimbo123]

Hi Jewels,
Deedee, so sorry to hear you've had a rough time. The waiting is really hard, isn't it? I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago and I have to have chemo before surgery because they have to shrink the lump before I can have an mx. I saw the oncologist on 20th May and my regime is planned, but I have to wait until 5 June to start chemo - I had thought it would be within a few days. So I have had no treatment at all yet, which is really difficult, because the minute I was diagnosed I wanted rid of it. I guess we have to trust that they know what they are doing - my onc said a two week wait at this stage would not affect anything. In my case I have had to have a CT and bone scan too (done this week), but the chemo regime is not affected by the results of these apparently, so I'm not sure they always have to wait for the results as they would give the same chemo anyway. Can you ask your BCN if you can see your onc and plan your chemo before the results of the CT?
As for me, 2 weeks on from diagnosis my initial panic and terror have subsided a bit. I guess whenever we have bad news about this there is an understandable period when our minds and bodies go into chaos and we have to trust that this could pass in time (going all philosophical now!)
Off to make an appointment to get my long curly hair cut short. It will be horrible - when it's short it frizzes out instead of curling and I haven't had it short for 20 years. Never mind, it will give the children a laugh! The lady who organises wigs in my hospital trust has been off work for the last few days - how dare she! - so I'm stalled on that front.
Be kind to yourselves Jewels xx

[Maxie]

Hi all,

Martha, you're handling the whole thing with your children brilliantly! they often surprise you in how they take what is 'big news' in their stride. My two girls are in their twenties and we have a laugh & a joke that Im going to look like Harry Hill etc soon but I just know they'll be upset when I do lose my hair because if they lost their hair ( especially at their age) it would be a really big deal.
Vicki I do feel for you that you feel like you'll be on your own through this. My OH is brilliant and is doing his very best to support me but the nature of his job means he has to go abroad from time to time,only have my youngest daughter reasonably nearby (1hour train journey) We moved to this area last year and its literally the other end of the country to all the rest of friends and family (my parents also passed and no siblings) Could your boyfriend take some leave to be with you, at least through first chemo etc? or even a maybe ask if your chemo could be on a Fri so he could be with you at weekends? Just a thought!
Deedee, like you feel I have waited ages for onco appt, had to have 2 x WLE one 4th Apr (with ANC) and 2nd on 1st May (because didn't get clear margins first time). From what I can remember BCN & BS both said would need to heal completely before chemo starts. I was diagnosed back in March and have lymph node involvement and also vascular invasion so have been on pins waiting for everything to start. Finally got appt through this am for 11th June to meet Onco (hands were shaking & jelly legs just reading the letter!!!)
As for all lumps and bumps we are feeling, although they definitely need mentioning to BCN etc, my surgeon went into great detail about all the shuffling around of tissues and fluid pockets etc that they have to do during surgery, so in most cases this is prob all it is. Still scary though & as I've said before Im constantly checking, think we'll all be like this for a long time!
Anyway this has turned into an essay now so will leave you all in peace!
Wishing you all a good day despite the wintry weather!

xxx

[deedee215]

Hi Jewels,
I have had a couple of emotional days there. I feel the hospital is moving very slow with me to get this chemo up and running. I got WLE &SNB on the 3rd of May, results the 16th and to be told I need to have chemo and more surgery as it has spread and is aggressive. BCN phoned and said will be starting chemo in a few weeks need to have a CT scan, heart x-ray etc haven't heard anything since apart from a letter i got yesterday to for CT scan on the 30th of May I feel this is ages away and like you Suffolklady I have started to feel a lump on my boob now and getting worried. Especially in the space of two weeks had no lymph involvement to having lymph involement. So you can imagine my mind is running a riot just now. Tried to phone my BCN yesterday couldn't get a hold of her will try again. Does any1 know how quick I could maybe start chemo after my scan on the 30th rough guide. Martha you are great you do lift my mood when I read all your comments lol.

Take care every1
Deedee xx

[artemis17]

Hi everyone thank you for the positive thoughts...It really helps knowing that we are all in the same boat, i guess sometimes it's just very overwhelming and that a lot of this I will face alone...I think it was just getting official confirmation of how extensive the cancer was and also not being given the information as a right but having to constantly ask for info that others get automatically. Doesn't make me feel as if I've got a good team of medical people on my side!.
Anyway today is a new day so shoulders back and onwards and upwards.. hope everyone has a good day and thank you for being there for me Jewels :-).
Vicki

[MarthasSOS]

I'm expecting to come out looking like My Little Pony on a bad day. She keeps asking if they'll have green wigs lol

[Suffolklady]

Martha, it sounds like you are doing such an amazing and sensitive job in the way you are handling this with your daughter. My youngest (14) is going to advise me on headgear - so goodness knows what I'll look like (sorry Oscar!) xxx

[MarthasSOS]

Haha, my son is 13 had asked if he can get the bus to school rather than get a lift because he didn't want his friends to see me bald. When I told him I'll have a wig or headscarf he asked to make sure it covered my ears lol.

I think we tend to forget that our family are still trying to be 'normal' Xx

[MarthasSOS]

Oh re my daughter. She just knows that mummy has a poorly boob and had to have a boob job (she calls my RoboBoob). Now she knows that mummy needs more medicine to make my boob better and I'm going to look like Jessie J when she got her head shaved for red nose day 😉 xx

[Suffolklady]

Martha, my 19 year old said to me the other evening over supper 'Can we talk about something else now?'! reality check!!

[MarthasSOS]

Hi Maxie

You're right, we are all going to be up and down and this darn roller coaster but I feel that as long as we are all here for each other, we will get through this together.

I had an argument with my OH tonight because I wanted him to read the info given to me today by the chemo unit and he didn't want to read it. I took that as him not bothering or caring and it all erupted. As it turns out, he just wanted to have a break from it all. Needless to say, tears were shed but now all is resolved. I have you guys, he only has me so I understand.

We told my 7 year old yesterday about my lump, but didn't mention that I had cancer. She was a little shocked about mummy loosing her hair, but she kind of had a sinister look on her face when we told her that we were going to have a hair shaving party when my hair starts to go lol. Today she hugged me and said "mummy you have beautiful hair and I don't want you to be bald". That made me cry and now she is happy that she is getting a day off school to come with me to pick my wig - It is going to be a fun, girlie day out.

I have to be strong in front of my kids, but when I'm alone, with my OH or even writing on here, I allow myself to crumble a little and have a sniffle to myself. I know all you wonderful ladies will understand where I'm coming from - So for me, it's good to wobble and let off steam, because on here....we understand.

love & hugs to my beautiful Jewels
Martha xxxx

[Suffolklady]

Quick word before bedtime.
Lovely words of support, thank you.
Artemis - yes, facing this alone is a big deal - I find it more daunting than losing my hair, sickness, stomach illness etc.... Goodness I'm REALLY having a bad day!! I promise tomorrow (back at work) I won't have time to be so self-indulgent!!! Love to you all - shining ones xxx

[Melrose15]

Hey Vicki. Sending virtual hugs your way. Hope you've got some friends to share real ones with too xx

[Maxie]

Hi Jewels,
Gosh this is such a roller coaster ride for us all isn't it? Sorry some of you have had 'down' day today, have had my fair share of those too. Think it's the emotional shock as much as post op physical effects etc. There's such a lot to take on board in a relatively short space of time.
Am dreading losing hair too, it's quite long and has taken me years to grow. Was going to order a wig online but thinking now would be better to try one on first in case I look ridiculous!! (Prob nothing new there!)
Cress, definitely get checked out just to put your mind at rest. Don't know what the rest of you are like but Im constantly checking for lumps/bumps now!
Hope you all get a good nights rest ladies!
xx

[YB54321]

Evening Jewels,
Bit emotional tonight. Met the Onco who was brilliant and very down to earth. Not got pathology back yet but the FISH test for HER2 has come back positive so I need chemo regardless to have Herceptin. All blood tests have come back normal. So I will be having 3 x EC followed by 3 x T plus Herceptin and then 15 more Herceptin plus radiotherapy and 5 years of Tamoxifen. said node involvement will not change the plan other than more surgery. Was ok at the hospital but its hit me like a ton of bricks since I got home.
Booked in for echocardiogram and a chemo pre-check next Thurs and back to see surgeon tomorrow for path report and to get dressings removed. I did ask about supplements and he said only things to avoid are any supplements suggested for menopausal symptoms like black cohosh, linseed (flax), red clover, soya etc but didn't have a problem with the ones I'm currently taking.
Right a big mug of tea is required and some sleep as I've worn myself out.
Love to all the Jewels - keep shining xx

[MarthasSOS]

Hey Vicki

You're allowed to feel down sometimes. I had a bl**dy good cry this morning when I was blow drying my hair. We are all here to support each other, so please just shout and rant sat us as much as you like. Get yourself a cup of tea, some choccy biscuits and relax on the sofa.

I hope you feel better soon,
Martha xxx

[Melrose15]

Hi Cress as Lins said give your bcn a call. If you haven't already. Hopefully it's nothing but you need to put your mind at rest. I know works a good distraction but take it easy especially as you've had nodes removed. There is a risk of lymphedema if you over do it. Also a seroma is quite common. which could be the cause of you feeling 'swollen' and sore by the way. (Is the area squishy to the touch?) If you don't need to don't rush back, you're only about two weeks post op and need some you time. Remember your are precious and should be treated as such 🙂 xx

[artemis17]

Hi ladies,
Firstly thanks for the support...must admit to having a down day too, my first since before my op. Think its because the cancer was worse than i expected, as hadnt been told anything at my results other than it was in lymph nodes, plus still waiting for scan dates before onc stuff can begin so at this rate i may not even be a Jewel..plus im home alone, i dont have close siblings, both my parents are passed, my boyfriend lives 40 miles away so obviously cant be there as much as we would like and my teenage son obviously has his own life so for the most part im going to be doing a lot of this alone. Im getting upset thinking of feeling sick and low and not having anyone who can do stuff for me or just listen...
I know its self pity and ill give myself a kick up the backside in a bit, but it all seems a huge hurdle at the moment..Sorry girls, i'll bounce back later im sure.
Oh and Cress hope knowing youl speak to BC nurse has helped your fears a bit...

[MarthasSOS]

Hi Cress

I found some strange lumps also. What you have to remember is that the remaining breast tissue has been shuffled around so you will have new lumps (fatty tissue) in areas where there wasn'hasn't before.

Just give your bcn a call and let us know how you get on. Xxx

[Guest user]

Let us know how it goes with the BCN, try not to worry tonight. There's nothing that can't wait until the morning. Work helps, takes the mind off things - for a while at least. xxx

[Suffolklady]

Thanks Lins, I know it can't be anything - but at the same time, I'm worried that the only reason I can feel it, is because of the swelling.... My original tumour only showed up on one of two mammograms.... ARGHHH!! round and round in my head I go! I'm back to work tomorrow so I'll get focused on that instead and phone the BCN in the morning.

[Guest user]

Cress I'm SURE it's nothing but go get it checked out, if for no other reason than to put your mind at rest. Big hugs, Lins

[Guest user]

Hi Lola... no mention of a portacath yet. I will ask though, sounds like a great idea. No sickness sounds wonderful, wow. Probably one of the things I'm fearing the most... along with the hair loss. Although they have offered the cold cap, the BCN said some people don't get on with it, but I'd probably give it a try, in for a penny. Yes I think they'd start me off on the Herceptin at the same time as the chemo.

Finding the decision making process difficult. Wish in a way they'd just tell me what to do...
Thanks again Lola, for all your help. How are you feeling atm... do you cope with the chemotherapy in general?

[Suffolklady]

Hey lovely ladies. Hope your day was full of smiles and sunshine.
Just need to share this, as I've said boob is still sore and tender and a tad swollen (drain only removed on Monday) but I have noticed a small - pea-sized - lump. This is NOT near the operation site which was close to my underarm but much more in the breast itself - at least 3 inches away from my incision. I think i can only feel it because of the swelling. I know that it can't be anything - but for some reason, it's playing havoc with my rational thought - someone tell me to pull myself together! Goodness, it's just one thing after another isn't it?!

Thanks Jewels - Cress xxx

[Lola65]

Hi Lins,

Popped in from February Valentines.

I'm on TCH. This is Docetaxel and Carboplatin, with Herceptin. I am on cycle 3 of 6. It is a good regime, less harsh on the heart and NO SICKNESS!!!!! The good thing about starting the Herceptin at the same time as the chemo, rather than waiting till later, is that it finishes sooner! I am saving myself a lot of time at the end of chemo. The infusions take 2.5 hours all in all, plus a bit extra for the flush and saline stuff. I am there about 3 hours in total. As you are on Herceptin, have you been offered a portacath? This is automatic at my hospital for all Herceptin people because of the large number of infusions involved - too many to play hunt the vein! I love mine.

xxx

[Guest user]

Welcome Maxie, Deedee and Spurs.
Suffolk lady I'm sure you will look fab.. we all have down days (I'm having one today too lol).

Fimbo that's fantastic news... you must be so relieved.
Chelle - special hugs.
I have to go, my tea's ready but I will check in later with you lovely ladies. Much love. Lins xxx

[Guest user]

I found out today that in my area they will pay £90.00 towards a wig (apparently they start at £90.00).
I'm feeling down.. been to see the new onc at my local hospital and he has confused me (he's very nice). I originally just had Cyclophosphamide and Docetaxel (TC therapy) with Herceptin for 6 sessions as an option.
Now I'm being offered the Carboplatin and Docetaxel with Herceptin for (I think I'm confused a bit) for 6 sessions.

Or he's saying I could have TC therapy with Herceptin for 4 session, only take one session and carry on with the Herceptin.

I feel like time is closing in, I have to make a decision and I really feel like saying no to the lot of it (but think I'd be doing this to cut off my nose to spite my face). Does anyone have experiece of these chemotherapy regimes?

Hugs all round, Lins xxx

[MarthasSOS]

Hey DeeDee - Welcome to the Jewels. I'm in Livingston, so not too far from you sweetie xx

Vicki - Happy wig shopping. I must admist, I'm loving the forum also. It has saved me from going insane on lots of occasions lol. I'm glad you now have the full results of your path report, now you can get on with fighting this little bu**er xxx

Chelle - Good luck for today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Welcome to the June Jewels Spurs xx

Morweena - Thanks for dropping by, your chemo wisdom is much appreciated. I asked today about immune system boosting stuff and was told not to bother as there are limited goods cells to boost lol

Cress - Oh, I hope you enjoy yourself at Tony & Guy. I'm getting a wee bob on Monday xx

Hey Joan - I'm so glad your lumpy rash turned out to be ok. Regarding the scan - I was told it was an x-ray, but today it was confirmed to be a scan, so I'm all set for that tomorrow. That's great news about your bone scan, now you can breath a little easier 😉

Emma - I'm booked into the Head Strong on 13th June and I'm quite looking forward to it. I'm getting a short bob on Monday and then going for a 'head shaving party' with the kids when I'm ready. I had a good cry today as I was blow drying my hair, but I felt good afterwards. Although I'm ready to loose my hair, it was just a little emotional this morning. I'm hoping I will feel better the shorter it gets. I was also told today that it doesn't fall out from the root, but more sort of breaks near the scalp so will wait and see what happens. As soon as I feel the tightness coming then the clippers are out lol.

Faye - They do wigs for kids - Just a thought. I have a pin head also, I think it is only 21". Perhaps you can try googling your local area or speak with your bcn to see if there is anywhere that do wigs for children.

Regarding the cold cap. I had seriously considered this and they do it at my hospital. A normal chemo session is around an hour (but allow extra time for delays). A cold cap session is around 5-6 hours. Some docs also believe that (as Faye says), it stops the chemo getting to the hair foliciles and therefore leave the brain susceptible. So I'm going without.

I'm making a little list of everyones dates so that I can keep track.

I got my bloods taken today and had a great chat with the chemo nurses. So all going well, I'm ready for my first cocktail on Wednesday.

Take care
Martha xxxx

[Flip_flop]

Welcome Maxie, Deedee and Spurs.
Vicki, can understand how it made you feel a wobbly, but they have got the cancer out now, and even though it had affected 2 more than thought, it hadn't gone past them to the any more which in a way means the nodes did their job to some degree.
I'm really struggling to find places to try on wigs, especially petite ones for my pin head. Just spoken to a lovely lady though who is going to look into it and ring me back. Still toying with the cold cap idea, would love to try and keep my hair, but am a bit paraniod that it will stop the chemo catching any stray cells that have gone to my brain.
Will probably check in with eveyone later.
Faye

[artemis17]

Ok so after feeling that i havent been given the details of the path report, i phoned up the bc nurse, and now i know...and has left me wobbly though. Basically its 5 out of 12 (they originally said 3) nodes affected, the cancer was high grade, early stage 3, which has scared me a bit, i dont know what i was expecting, but because i felt ok and didnt have any obvious lumps etc, i suppose i thought it was just a "barely there" cancer.
I know it doesnt alter the treatment plan, but now i know why theyre so keen for me to have extra scans. 😞