You know Geoff us ladies can really relate to a man that cries, shows their humanity. Go on, cry together, it wont do either of you any harm, only good.
Geofspa, sending you hugs and support too.
Very sorry you and your wife are going through this. You have came to the right place for help and support. I was diagnosed three years ago age thirty one, and lost my hair also through chemo. My husband works away from home at several weeks at a time and when he returned home from work one time and I showed him my bald head, i thought he was remarkably calm and seemed very upbeat. Only recently did he confess that he went out to the back garden and cried his eyes out but did not want to show me .... so sad, but i was so vulnerable at that time that he probably knew he couldnt have cried in front of me. I just wished my husband knew of this site at the time as i feel he had zero support and looking back must have been awful for him
take care of yourself and also your wife and remember you will always find support here, you are not alone
My own Geoff has been great since the beginning of all this stuff too. It was the night my hair started going that I really couldn't cope either and he didn't know what to do to help me.
I knew it was just somehting that had to be gone through, but he felt awful for me as my hair was always my "thing". I am glad we had a wee cry together and knew that "all this will pass", just hold on tight
As my (baldy) Geoff sais, I am just a visitor in his world
I had long dark brown hair this time last year.We got married a week before dx,and I had purposely let my hair grow to have it up for the day.Our wedding day was perfect,but on dx a week before I knew things could change..After first chemo I warned Colin that my hair may go,so we took the decision together and he cut my hair and then shaved me altogether,he then held me as we both wept so I was totally bald.Colin held me and we wept together,his comment,which will always stay with me was,"I shoudn't have to be doing this"He is still here,and I have now a short grey curly crop, which I love and he is always putting with my moods,so it is great to hear that there are men who care,take care of her give plenty of love
god bless you geoff, big boys do cry, may you and your wife go on sharing the good days and the not so good days
best wishes to you both
Big hugs from me too! It's very hard for a woman to lose her hair, and perhaps we don't always realise it might be hard for the men in our lives as well.
Unfortunately the treatment for breast cancer is barbaric, and I hope that in years to come they will find a treatment that will attack only the cancer cells and not ALL the cells in our bodies (including the ones that produce hair). It's such an outward sign that we have cancer.
I finished my chemotherapy last November, and now have a full head of VERY curly hair, lol - it was straight before!
It's surprising how quickly you (and she) will adapt to the hairless look, however upsetting it seems at the beginning. Why not have a trip out to find some nice scarves/hats/wig and something she can put on her head at night (it's very cold in bed at night with a bare head)! Google "Buffs", they do some perfect headgear to wear round the house and in bed.
Some of the ladies at my hospital wear beautiful scarves secured with scrunchies at the nape of the neck and they look so lovely.
Good luck to both of you.
it helped me when my hubby Ian was able to share his tears with me. It is a horribly sad time but you know what they say about sharing the tears and the joy. That was not a pun by the way.
Good luck with Joy's treatment this forum is very helpful.
You can always share things here hun - I lost my hair with 4 x fec - then it started growing back during my radiotherapy - then started 4 x chemo again and lost it again!
My hubby was great, as were my kids, and fortunately I have never had a problem with the 'bald' look.
Your wife is a very lucky woman that you are so thoughtful. Only thing I would say, is that you must to careful not to always hide your feelings from her. From my own experience my husbands ability to cope with everything sometimes seemed like he wasn't bothered - and that wasn't the case at all - it was just that he didn't like to burden me with his emotions.
Good luck to you both
((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) geoff. Don't be afraid to let the tears run. Glad you feel you can turn to us for support. I guess you are a really caring guy and joy will get thru this with your love and support.
My joy started chemo just over 2 weeks ago and today her hair started to shed. I donlt have a problem with a balding wife but I just need to tell someone as I sit here in tears.
\Please let me have a cry here in private so I can go back and be here and hug Joy without the tears later
thanks for this