Just diagnosed Primary Breast Cancer

[carolec]

Hi sheena
Yeh I'll try not to - they have all been really good and it's my birthday tomorrow so will certainly take it easy. I also did the same with flannel washes and when I felt up to it I sat in a shallow bath, but that first shower when the dressings came off was soooo good! Xx

[missmore]

Hi amber

I just had old fashioned flannel wash for a few days and didn't give a stuff about my hair. Eventually got a friend to wash it for me with the shower head then left to dry

xx

[missmore]

Hi carol

take it easy at work tomorrow,  and don't let anyone upset you with well intended remarks

sheena x

[amberstone]

Hi Sheena thanks for replying.  I was wondering abut a shower and I have a drain in the District Nurse came today and said wait until Thursday when drain could come out.  Am just have the old fashioned "strip wash". I have had my Surgery and am a bit sore but nothing I cant deal with taking the tablets, not sleeping though but it will come.  I go back for my results on 23rd June and then I think that is where he tells me about the radiotherapy.  I had a copyof the letter that they sent to your Gp and it states I have Grade 2 invasive ductal cancer with high grade DCIS??? so not sure what that is now.

Thanks for bra advice went into M&S and got sorted with one post surgery bra £16 but then another day I saw post surgery bras in same store 2 for £16 and prettier/flowery/lighter fabric so am using them one to wear one to sleep. Do yu mean like crop tops that you can step into an pull up?  I am using all my baggy t shirts and pull on joggers - they dont actually do these wonderful white stockings any justice!!   My hair is short/out of bed look I wash it every day in shower so easy to do but tip head upside down to blow dry and use gel-thats just me and I wont go to the shops it I havent just done my hair my daughter says I am a nightmare!  I look a nigtmare at moment!! not washed since Tuesday will get it done somehow tommorrow I dont think I can do it very well am left handed and need two to do it anyway. Reading this back it sounds so vain? anyway good luck whatever you are doing.  I will let you know my results on 23rd  XX

[carolec]

Hi Amberstone
Glad to hear everything went well and that you are back home. I tried to take it easy after op and I think if you just listen to your body and rest and sleep when you feel you need to, then you recover quicker. I know we women try to do everything for everyone but sometimes we just have to look after ourselves and having this diagnosis is certainly one of those times! After my op I couldn't do without my Kalms nighttime and they really helped me sleep - and my OH! They are a herbal remedy that you can buy from any chemist, but I've heard they don't work for everyone and not sure about taking if you are on any other regular medication, but they helped me sleep through most of the night.
Grade 2 is good and I think it's the most common but they will let you have further results as to what type of cancer I,e, whether it's oestrogen/progesterone positive HER2, what stage it is etc so that they can work out the best treatment plan for you. I didn't realise there were so many different types of breast cancer - I'm learning new things every day and this site is invaluable. Even if I don't post, I can read other threads for tips and gather info so that I can ask the oncologist when I see him, which I believe will be soon.
I'm back off to work tomorrow - fist time since op - as they will let me come and go as I please which is good because I can keep some kind of normality going and see my work friends. I work part time anyway but don't plan on doing a full day.
Hope you have a good nights rest tonight. Take care. Carole x

[missmore]

Well done amber, that's one thing out of the way,  be gentle with yourself and take the painkillers luv, hopefully you will get a few, more hours sleep tonight.  I'm still only getting around 4 hours but take a snooze in the afternoon xx

[amberstone]

Hi Carolec   thanks for your thoughts. Hope you went somewhere nice, I have decided its time I went nice places from now on! We do anyway but I will be looking for even nicer to allow myself TLC. ha ha.

Yes D day came and went for me.  I was in at 7.30am and went to theatre 2pm home 6.30pm.  Had so many more tests/scan/mammogram/wire inserted/die inserted- dont remember that being told to me. All my worries have gone now I have had surgery, I dont feel to bad very tired but not able to sleep, was awake at 2.30. then up at 4am making tea and toast - ironic that the toast always falls on the floor buttered side down! I am left handed so was trying to use right hand etc.

I am a bit sore and bust quite swollen and I came home with a drainage bottle, they put it in a lovely little flowery linen bag (someone makes them for this purpose).  I got out of bed this morning and forgot I had my bed buddy and it pulled a bit to say the least!!!  District nurse in each day she says it could be gone Friday.

I have to go back on 23rd June for results. I am still a ittle confused (or thick) I have a copy of the letter sent to my GP it states that I have Grade 2 invasive ductal cancer with high grade DCIS?   so I will know more when I get results and start radiotherapy I suppose it will all be explained to me then.   He gave me the impression that when its out its gone!  I am not sure it that simple.

anyway good luck with all that you are doing have fun times with family will keep you infrmed after 23rd.  XX

[amberstone]

Hi Sharnie  thank you for your thoughts for my "D" day.   I am just about on this planet again!

I went in at 7.30am and home 6.30pm didnt sleep at all well was getting out f bed 4am and forgot I had my little drain buddy bag next to me and ouch! did I feel it when Ieft him behind. I was just coming down stairs and got caught again on the baby gate! I am quite clumsy as I am partially sighted and dont always take my time.  I should get rid of the drain by Thursday.   All my fears have gone now surgery over and done with and your right it is not half as bad as my others, it is heavy and sore but nthing I cant deal with most comfy when lay flat but not slept well I was up this morning at 4am making tea toast not easy with right hand as I am left handed - how is it that the bread always falls buttered side down!! 

Have been very good and started my exercises today they are not to painful.

I got a copy of the letter that goes to my GP and as I said I dont know what grade or anything I have but this letter says Grade 2 invasive ductal cancer with high grade DCIS ???   so will ask when I get results on 23rd June.   He did say that I would have to have radiotherapy for 5 days I may not need Chaemotherapy but I am not so sure of what they are saying til I get these last results.

Thanks fr explaining Tamoxifen.  I am so glad I have found this site although you dont meet I feel at home already and able to talk to people.   Godd wishes with your next appointment/treatment.  X 

[amberstone]

Now I have found this site I think you are all wonderful/positive people with lots of encouragement to give others with frightenning them!

Thanks for your good wishes, didnt get to the computer obviously yesterday (op-day)  I have lost a lot of the stress and worries about just the surgery, went in at 7.30am home with drains in at 6.30pm so glad to walk throgh my front door and had a little cry and big hugs from hubby just relief really. I feel quite sore, bit spaced out with medication and didnt sleep last night. Was up at 1.30am and then 4am quite hungry so went and made tea and toast! back to bed but not slept but resting and done same today. District Nurse coming in each day for drains and dressings.  A copy of letter to GP came today and it says Grade 2 invasive ductal cancer with high grade DCIS ?? still not sure what it means but get results of tissue taken from breast and armpit on 23rd June so will have to ask again, like I say too many books/leaflets its confusing.

I find it ironic that you can meet "friends" on site like this and also whilst in a waiting room at the Hospital. I met a lady on the ward who saw me at the clinic and we just hit it off shelives about 20mins from me and we have exchanged emails. just a shame not in the best of circumstances, I am going to call it my journey and hope the outcome is as good as it can be.

I am sure I will sleep tonight only thoughts are the results now on 23rd

Wishing you good luck.

[missmore]

Wishing you all the best for today amberstone x

sharnie I'm roundabout your stage, waiting for the first appointment to discuss the radiotherapy and tamoxifen,  any advice/thoughts

thanks

sheena x

[Sharnie]

Just wanted to wish you well with your op today. Once you get your results back you will know what grade and type of cancer - I had to wait ten days for mine but it varies at different hospitals? Tamoxifen is a hormone drug that reduces the level of oestrogen in your body as my cancer was er positive which means it was receptive to oestrogen. When you go back to get your results they will tell you if yours is. I have been given so many booklets on everything at my hospital I could open my own library - ha, ha! I think you will be fine after surgery after all the ops you have had in the past - it's not really that bad - just take it slowly for the first week! I don't know about radiotherapy yet - I have had my first appointment with oncologist but am waiting for my planning appointment. I should start in a couple of weeks - I've got to have 23 sessions altogether so will let you know how it goes. Best of luck for today - I will be thinking of you! X

[carolec]

Hi Amberstone
Sorry I didn't reply sooner but went out for the day with family and didn't see your post till now. Good luck for tomorrow and I'll be thinking of you - let us know how you get on x

[missmore]

Hi amber

I found soft bras from asda very good still wearing them as normal bras rub the underside of my breast which is where my lump was. You just pull them up over your body rather than having to lift arms.  Button up front baggy shirts were realy comfy. I had a shower day after op just tried to keep site out of the water and used a facecloth to freshen up. Didn't bother drying my hair my son did offer to have a go haha. Email or cal your bc nurse thats why we're allocated one, she will be a great help 

sheena x

[amberstone]

Hi CassieB   Thanks for your early reply!! guess there a more people than me up at this time 🙂 I have been up since 5.30am dont sleep well anyway due to pesky menopause so this is worse I feel shattered and my mind is a shed but it is D day tomorrow 7.30am.

WoW you sound so good if it all goes like that I will be ok about it as I have already had total knee replacement and 3 stents and heart bypass and some of that pain was bad.

Yes we registered our car with the Unit and we dont pay.  I dont think any hospital should have pay parking we dont have a choice but to be there!

I have been told to go back to the hospital next day for wound check? and the does a District Nurse come to  check the dressing and wound do they tell you all this in hospital.   Was it difficult dressing and undressing?

You sound as if you sailed through it OR you are a very positive/strong person think I need to rub shoulders with you.

I will be ok until I get in the Anaesthetic room and then I realise - as I dont like the sensation of passing out (anaesthetic) and I am always very sick afterwards they usually give me something so not looking forward to that.

thanks again for your reassuring chat. I will let you know

Amber X

[amberstone]

Hi SamBCC   Thank  you for your information  My BCN did give me lots of leaflets and the resourses pack after the Specialist had given me the diagnosis even though I have tried to read it Its not sinking in and there is so much to look at.  I do understand what I have got and what they are going to do in Surgery but it is the unknown after that.  I understand that things will come together once in the hospital as you say I get a treatment plan.  I dont think it is all sinking in 100% as it sent me into a whirlwind/panic mode I am nt as tearful as I was. I WILL be ok and WILL deal  with it oneday at a time.

Best wishes, you all do a wonderful job (I nursed both parents at home with cancer)

AmberXX

[amberstone]

Hi Anx56   thank you for taking the time to chat to me your chat is very reassuring.  I am quite anxious at moment not slept much since I found out.  I didnt have a good sleep pattern anyway (Menopause and all that rubbish) I am just going to go in on Monday treat it just like other Surgery procedures I have had in the past and get on with it, but knowing what is a little bit in front helps me its the unknown and results after surgery.

Youre right I dont want to cry and get upset with my Daughter she is my carer as I am registered sight impaired she is with me each day and does so much for me having had heart bypass she lifts/carries etc so now she has this------ thing-- to cope with.  We will get there everyone on this site is positive eventually after the first shock and disbelief I suppose.

I will keep in touch and let you know how I  get on  

XX Amber

[amberstone]

Hi Sharnie   first thanks for taking the time to reply. I am not very good with computers and couldnt use this site at first but getting it now!!

I think I was/am a bit negative at moment although I know I want the Hospital to do what they have to  do to get rid of it. as I cant get out of my head "its cancer" but I am so scared of the results! not so much of surgery when I really think about it as I have had my share - 3 stents and then heart bypass, total knee replacement my last 4 years have been constant and now this.  

I am worried about how I will feel after surgery, how long to recover, what does Radiotherapy take out of you I believe you are tired (fatigued) a lot. 

I am quite a bit older than yourself but still very young inside I have always worked past retirement till my heart problem. I worked and brought up my children (Daughter 49 Son 37) and looked after one Grandson (26) we now have a 2nd Grandson who is 19 months old and both Nannas look after him between us. This all came so quick from going for a recall mammogram on 1st June to results on 10th and now going in hospital 15th June I feel so bad that I have thrown them into turmoil with work and childcare (other Nanna has a mobility problem and needs Grandad to be there also but he works!) my Son says think about me and not baby they will be ok. How long would it be after all the treatment and side effects not easy running after a 19month old would I be able to lift him, they want to walk and then be carried!!! Sorry my mind is just running away with me I wanted to be calm for this surgery but I am a wreck with all the worry and information and not knowing.

I have told my son and daughter they seem ok - but are they ok?

When you talk  about "grade" and all that does that come after surgery and when they have tested it? My husbandhas a genuine phobia for needles/hosptals/sickness doesnt visit people - but HAS to if its me but not comfortable so this news- he walked out of the consulting room when he said it was "cancer" because he "hates to see me upset" well I need him there but realise I wont be able to babble on like this to him, although he has settled down a bit and says he did listen to specialist but just doesnt deal  with it well.   I cant burden my daughter with inner thoughts so this site is good for me as my Husband works form 5am to 3pm so  will be on my own anyway.  What is Tamoxifen for??

[CassieB]

When I had my op 16 months ago (Wide Local Excision & Sentinel Lymph Node Right breast with wire localisation). In hospital at 7:30 am and out at about 5:30 feeling fragile but not in pain. I was given painkillers but didn't need to take them. OH was allowed to be with me through the pre-op stuff and was there when I woke up. I don't know whether every hospital has the same philosophy. He was also given a note to put on the car windscreen so that we didn't have to pay for parking.

The following day I visited a friend for a cream tea as planned and felt 'normal' if a little tired.

I didn't have a drain but did wear a sports bra (38H) as I needed something to stop me wobbling.

The most complicated part was trying to have a shower and not getting the op site wet. OH did an excellent job of sponging me down. Not being able to lift my arm also made hairwashing and blow-drying a bit of a challenge but we managed it and the restriction only lasted for a week. I did do all the exercises they recommended. I can't remember having any difficulty sleeping on my right side.

16 months later and my world is back to normal except for taking a hormone tablet every morning (just one more to add to those I was already taking). I'm just saying this so that you realise that not everyone with BC has a torrid time. I also have two friends with similar experiences to mine and who are continuing with their lives as though it had never happened.

[amberstone]

Hi Carolec  I have only just fund out how to use the site!! silly me but I am 68!  Thanks so much for your reply I am going to go to M&S today as I did ring and they said they had some. I have couple of vest tops with the bust shelf in (soft) are they ok.  Have you any tips on what clothing to wear (sore on bust and underarm) are my normal t shirts ok or do I need more sleevless vest type?

I have an allergy to Morphine and that was really bothering me but you have put my mind to rest in a way if you are only taking paracetemol  - I take these for my osteo/a.

Again thanks for your support I will keep in touch as you are just in front of me. Very best wishes for your journey. 

[amberstone]

Hi Sheena I am not good at all on computers but I know that this site is where I am going to be able to chat to someone who knows! I have just found out what "an avatar" is- how sad is that but I have got here.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.  I have a husband who cannot deal with sickness and hospitals- genuinely and I dont want to upset my 2 children (37 and 49) so I feel this site will help me.

I was same as you then I went for recall mammogram   a little worried maybe as previous  ones had all been clear.  Had 2nd mammogram on 1st June (our Wedding Anniversay, we were away for 4 days so had to come back day earlier) I was rooted to the chair when Specialist said I needed biopsy/scan of underarm as there were calcifications which I read up on and still thought "it wont mean me". He said would do biopsy now!! then I was told to come back on 10th June - the waiting was awful, then I fell through the floor and crumbled in tears as hewas telling me "it is a cancer, we want to do surgery and then radiotherapy maybe not need Chaemo. I go in in the morning then like you at 7.30am.  I have had my share of surgery like 3 stents, heart bypass, total knee replacement 14months ago never be as active but am fine all went well so Hospital and procedure dont phase me now but this is the scariest thing in my life ever. I know the BCN said call anytime but they dont want to listen to this everyday I feel much better like this on a site -now I can sort round it.

I havent even got a bag ready for Hospital! I dont want to go. I am frightened of all the after effects.  Can you get dressed by yourself-any tips on easy clothing I have read it is sore underarm/bust and bras rub? how do you sleep as I lie totally on my left side (surgery side) do you keep a bra on at night? will I come out of hospital with a drain in??  I am so worried about painrelief as I have allergy to Morphine so cant have it.  I am worried they wont give me enough.

I am worried the most about the results after surgery, am I right they send what they take away off the be tested??  I feel I have done nothng by try to read what they gave me but it doesnt seem to be sinking in I am just going to appear where I need to and let them get on with it my stomach is just churning. A cup of coffee is needed!!  

thanks so much X Amber

[missmore]

Hi Amber

Its difficult to get your head around everything at once - filter little bits in at a time.  I found speaking to the lovely ladies here an enormous help. They can understand better than friends and family can.

I had a very quick passage through, I was called back after my very first screening, had an ultrasound and biopsy on 11.05.15, got my diagnosis on 14.05.15, which was an invasive mucinous carcinoma, very rare! trust me! and the surgery on 25.05.15!  I had very little time to prepare which was probably a blessing when I look back.  I went into hosp at 7.30am, I had the sentinal node imaging ( the blue radioactive tracer) done at 8am, back to the ward for a short wait, taken up for op at 10.30am (same as yours) and was back on the ward at 2.30pm. Slept, took all the morpine they would give me and walked out, albeit a bit wobbly at 7.30pm.

You can stay in if you want to but I decided as all was ok, I would prefer my own bed. I have seen the bcnurse this week and the margins were clear, three nodes removed and now wating to have radiotherapy and tamoxifen.

The discomfort is not too bad, easily controlled by painkillers, I still feel tired and need a wee rest but have done as much exercise as my body will allow as I think it is helping me now and for the upcoming treatment

Don't worry too much and keep chatting to folk here, it's amazing the amount of support here and in a little bit you will be doing the same

big hugs

Sheena xx

[carolec]

I had a sentinel node biopsy, wire location and WLE on 3 June and was home next day feeling a bit sore but apart from that ok. I didn't have any morphine after op and stuck with paracetamol as I don't like the stronger tabs. I am feeling physically fine and my arm movement is good. Stitches were taken out yesterday and all looks good. Not sure if anyone has recommended but I bought some soft sports bras to wear for afterwards - M&S do 2 for £12 or Asda have a big range 2 for £7 and also some soft bras that don't do up at the back to sleep in - I found some on Amazon 3 for £10 but again Asda do a good selection of these. If I can think of anything else I'll let you know and good luck for the -15th - it will be ok.

[Sharnie]

Hi and welcome! I know how you are feeling. I have been positive throughout my diagnosis and treatment but do have the urge to scream and cry at any given moment! I am 47 and was diagnosed after having my first mammogram. I had a wle (wide local excision) and sentinel node biopsy on 11th May. I came home the same day - it's not as bad as I expected it to be. Just make sure you listen to your body and rest when you need to. I felt really exhausted for two weeks but I think that's the general anaesthetic - it effects everyone differently. I have gone back to work for a few half days but still find I get tired if overdo it. You need to remember our bodies need time to heal on the inside even if they look ok on the outside! My wound has healed really well, I was lucky my tumour was only 12mm grade 2 and er positive with no spread to lymph nodes. I have now started taking tamoxifen and am waiting for radiotherapy appointments - I have to have more than I was originally told but I want to give myself the best chance of a long as life as possible! I have two children who have dealt with it ok - I have just told them what I am having done at each stage and told them to ask me any questions they may have. My daughter is 16 and son is 20. This happened right in the middle of my daughters GCSEs as well so not the best time! My husband has found it really hard to cope with too - I think men aren't as strong emotionally. I am lucky I have lots of friends who are really supportive but sometimes you just need to talk to someone who knows what you are going through. I have found this forum to be brilliant for finding out about treatment or just to let off some steam! The worst part about all of this is waiting for results - my only advice would be to keep yourself occupied! Good luck with your op and results - once you get those you will get a treatment plan.

[anx56]

Hi Amberstone,  

Firstly you have come to the right place.  Its exactly a year to the day I received my diagnosis and without this forum I dont know how I would have got through the last year.  Like you I had regular mammograms and although it was a shock I felt numb. There are no right and wrong ways to feel or deal with what you are going through.  If you want to cry have a cry always best to let it out.  I think one of the best pieces of advice I was given is to take one day at a time.  It is a rollercoaster and you will experience a whole gambit of emotions.  Try not to think too far forward.  Have your surgery on Monday you will be looked after and will get pain relief.  There is lots of good advice here for anything your worried about but remember everyone is different so your experience will often be different to someone else. Sometimes its easier to post here how you feel I found that sometimes family cant support you or you are afraid to tell them how you feel, here we can be totally honest and vent your feeings.  You will have ups and downs just roll with it.  The forum also supports carers and family members so your daughter can also get support if she needs it . Hope all goes well for you on Monday gentle hugs Xx

[anx56]

Hi Amberstone,  Firstly you have come to the right place.  Its exactly a year to the day I received my diagnosis and without this forum I dont know how I would have got through the last year.  Like you I had regular mammograms and although it was a shock I felt numb. There are no right and wrong ways to feel or deal with what you are going through.  If you want to cry have a cry always best to let it out.  I think one of the best pieces of advice I was given is to take one day at a time.  It is a rollercoaster and you will experience a whole gambit of emotions.  Try not to think too far forward.  Have your surgery on Monday you will be looked after and will get pain relief.  There is lots of good advice here for anything your worried about but remember everyone is different so your experience will often be different to someone else. Sometimes its easier to post here how you feel I found that sometimes family cant support you or you are afraid to tell them how you feel, here we can be totally honest and vent your feeings.  You will have ups and downs just roll with it.  The forum also supports carers and family members so your daughter can also get support if she needs it. Hope all goes well for you on Monday gentle hugs Xx

[Sam_BCC]

Hi amberstone

Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support. I'm sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and getting to grips with your treatment plans, etc.

As well as the support you receive on the forums you might find it helpful to order the BCC resources pack. It has been specifically designed for those newly diagnosed and contains information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If you would like to order a copy just follow the link bellow:-

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/resource-pack-primary-early...

Also, you may find it helpline to things through with a member of staff on our helpline.  They are there to offer a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The number is 0808 800 6000. and lines are open today from a0 to 2pm and weekdays 9 to 5pm.

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

[amberstone]

Hi to everyone.  I am 68 yrs old new to this site, my husband walked out of the consulting room and just left me - I was upset at the news he said he cant bear to see me upset plus he has lost 4 members of his closest family in hospital, he cant cope with hospitals/illness/needles etc he has a genuine phobia,  I dont feel he is my "rock" for this, even though he says I can talk to him he doesnt ask! I feel I am trapped with everything inside of me going round and round.  I am so confused.

I attended my regular mamogrames,shocked to be recalled, had calcifcations, have had biopsy.  The waiting has been awful, unbearable but all happened over 2 weeks from 2nd mammogram its all like a dream.

Specialist said "i am afraid it is a cancer!!" I felt my stomach drop to the floor and I went sort of numb I thought I was going to walk out of there ok- think positive they say, well I got a negative! 

Worst day of my life Wed 10th June Specialist gave me results/admit me on Mon15th June for Wide Local Excision of cancer and Breast Sentinel Node Biopsy, he did say I will have Radiotherapy but may not need Chaemotherapy- its all been so fast The BCN gave me all sorts of leaflets/instructions/file -so much reading- and after trying to read it hasnt sunk in! I have fuzz brain!!

I am so scared of the surgery and what I will feel like/sore etc., He said Radiotherapy has no side effects?? but reading a few comments and peoples progress through this site it is telling me different. What is it like I need someone to be honest even though I will still be anxious I have no choice.

I know the BCN said phone anytime at all -  I dont know how I am supposed to react to this one minute I am talking about it and reading but then I fill up and have a weep (on my own) it comes from nowhere.

I have two grown children (38 and 49) and two grandchildren (26 and 19months) I have told my children they seemed ok about it but are they? 

I am registered Sight Impaired have had a CABG/Stents and Total Knee Replacement and my Daughter is my Carer  she has been there for me every step of the way (my husband still works) we are together every day she is my best friend and she doesnt show too much emotion she is on her own so has no-one to share this with she must be thinking allsorts, like me "I have cancer they never get it I am going to die with this I always thought it would be my heart that took me away- god I am so paniky. I am scared for Monday I dont want to go in.