Dolly, I had 8 rounds of chemo, it's doable. Here's my story which I hope you find helpful: http://lifeafterlola.blogspot.co.uk/
i enjoyed joining the monthly chemo thread to chat with others going through chemo at the same time and definitely recommend this. Best wishes Xxx
Hi Anne, ...& you’ll be the same, we’re just further down the road, that’s all
You sound amazingly strong to me not going to google. I did endlessly in the days after diagnosis and it wasn't healthy. I am so struck and inspired by the way peolpe on this forum are getting on with their lives.
I’m the same with the googling. And the same feelings of I’ve got through worse but then actually THIS is the worst, I’m not going to get through this! I’m waking up thinking about it going to sleep thinking about it dreaming about it. I’ve had to stop myself from reading all the stats etc.
Does anyone know what determines whether you have a ct scan or mri? I’m so confused about everything!
Fairydust gave some good advice about having a bit of self compassion I’m going to work on that, but as soon as I do I just burst into tears!
That should have said "can access it". Cash is handy, though, as I've paid for a couple of sessions as well and now I'm practising, really practising!
Something you can google is " self compassion". I've also paid to see a clinical psychologist and she suggested it. It's the control freek in me, trying to make sure I stay sane through this. I'm fortunate to be able to do this a little bit, particularly as the support we get with the NHS is rubbish, minimum 3month wait. I'd have been a complete basket case by now if I'd waited for them. Just a pity I can't afford to do the whole thing privately, as I'm sure I'd be sorted by now. Anyway the self compassion thing is important. I didn't realise how horrible I could be with myself. I was admonishing myself regularly for the way I was feeling, when I would never have said the same things in the same circumstances to a friend. We must be kinder to ourselves ( I'm trying to listen, myself, to what I'm saying now), particularly now. Looking after our mental health through this is as important as our physical health (a point the NHS seems to miss). We aren't a disease, we are all good, strong, whole human beings and deserve to be treated as such. If you are going to google, look up things about the psychology of all this to help keep you strong. Xxx
I completely understand what you are going through. This time last week I was waiting for the results from MRI, bone and CT scans. I to had convinced myself that it was going to have spread. I now know that fortunately this is not the case. I think we are going to have to get used to waiting for news for the next few weeks/months. I am due to have a therapeutic mammoplasty op on 8th March so hope this goes ahead as just want to get on with things.
Last Sunday I felt terrible but you will feel better when you know what they are going to do to sort you out.Hope you get the answers soon but in the meantime try as much as possible to relax/ I know that is easier said than done.
Yes, Dolly. I have 4 areas in the one side.
I've had one or two meltdowns, which would not normally be my character. I went to my local MacMillan Centre and a wonderful lady there sorted a couple of hypnosis sessions for me as she thought I was heading for a mental crisis. I was very sceptical, not the sort of thing I would usually go for, but I'm completely converted. I'm learning deep relaxation and it really does help, there are also recordings on you tube you can use. It helps with sleep, particularly when you wake in the night and cancer is all you can think of! It is helping me to take control when things get too much to deal with as well. I take myself off and do one of the short ones to get me back on track. It doesn't mean I get rid of the bad feelings all the time, but it does give me a break and can bring me down from the major meltdown points. May be worth a try if you cash access it.
Red wine red wine! It at least helps induce sleep. ( and stops the time bomb actually exploding) xxx
oh my love I’m there with you! I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago after a routine mammogram, I had biopsies and then an mri to determine exactly what was going on and what surgery would be required. I should have been told yesterday but I got a call on Thursday to say I need further scans etc as they had picked something up in my other breast!!
i am terrified that they are going to want to give me a double mastectomy, wondering if my whole body is riddled with disease and am I going to die soon!
The waiting between tests and actually getting the results is torture.
And I cannot believe how my life has spiralled out of control in such a short space of time.
My poor partner is getting to see me in a very different light and I know he’s feeling for me but I’m such a bad tempered cow at the moment I fear he might turn round and say he can’t stick it.
Im going through every “worse case” scenarios in my head I’m exhausted!
if by sounding off on here helps in any way whatsoever, then we must do it!
Im sending you big hugs and hope that things start to get easier for you. Xxx
My typing, fat fingers on tablet, is rubbish!!
Just spotted your new message and wanted you to know you aren't alone. I was diagnosed on 21 December (happy Christmas). I've had a number of biopsies and have multi focal in my right breast. Hoping to have mastectomy with reconstruction soon as I need itvout of me. Having sentinel nodes done on Monday.
I seem to look on here when I'm feeling low. I read a lot of the other lady's stories, many of whom have come through tjisvand are on the other side. We are at the start and we don't have all the answers we need. We may not get the answers we want and I know that's what scares me. We've already had one answer we didn't want. It's almost like I daren't wish for the best in case I tempt fate and get slapped down with more bad news, so I try to prepare for the worst. I try to listen to what the more experienced ladies say on here in my saner moments. They really do have some good advice. It's just a pity any if us have to be on here at all.
I just wish I was a real fairy and could wave my magic wand over all if us. Xxx
This is my first post on the site I have just been diagnosed and I'm really struggling. Wondering if anyone is in a similar situation to me or has been in the past and can share any experiences or just to say hi to help me feel less alone. This is my story so far...
I am 39 years old and I found a marble sized lump under my armpit at the end of jan, I was diagnosed yesterday with invasive lobular cancer. I had already been told I had breast cancer a few weeks prior to this when I received the results from the biopsied axillary node. They could tell me it contained breast cancer cells but nothing else until they found the actual cancer. During this appointment I had a mammogram which was clear and an ultra sound which showed only showed up a small 5mm lump. A biopsy was taken and an MRI was arranged.
Yesterday brought more worry... the small lump had come back as invasive lobular but the mri had also highlighted other areas in the breast which looked suspicious. I had another ultrasound and with 3 different doctors coming in to look at the scan. To be honest I think the snow and amount of cancelled appointments had a part to play in this but never the less they all had a look. They all seemed to be really unsure but agreed they could see something so took several other biopsies to make sure they got the area covered.
The doctor explained than because of these extra findings I would probably have a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy but they had to show than the cancer was in other places first to justify this. I realise that this would now take what they originally thought was a grade 2 to a grade 3 but at the moment I am just so worried that it has already spread beyond this.
Because of the snow and that the hospital was so quiet the breast nurse managed to arrange a CT for me yesterday while i was there. So now I am just waiting again.. The doctor also did say the the CT can bring up lots of red herrings which turn out to be nothing so now I'm not sure I will get a true answer or not even with the result??
So what I know is that i have invasive lobluar cancer, definitely with lymph node involvement and most probably in other areas in the breast which I know can be a factor with lobular.
Is anyone in a similar position or has been in the past? I am just so scared and worried there will be nothing they can do. I really can not believe how my life has turned on its head in just a few short weeks! I do actually feel a bit better after writing all this all down...although that could also be the wine! Thank you to anyone for reading this xx