First off I am new to this site, and found all of your comments very useful. As I discussed with another women in hospital, no one knows how you are feeling unless you are going through it… which is very true.
I found a lump on 27th September while doing my hair and having an itch - due to my age I am considerd too young for routine checks which I think is stupid as there are younger women then me out there, Following a mammogram, core cut biopsy and ultrasounds within 14 days of finding the lump I was diagnosed with Grade 3 breast cancer. I was 2 weeks away from my 30th birthday. This was a total shock as no one other than my dads sister had had breast cancer, and when they ask that question they usually go by your mother or grandmothers side.
Despite being told I had an agressive form, I had found it early and the lump was small for its type. They said they would remove the lump with a clear margin and do a sentinal node biopsy with some reconstruction to move the nipple to the centre ( as my lump as on the side) although it will be smaller than the other once healed. All this I had done on Saturday 25th October and I returned home on Tuesday after the removal of my drains. I am due to get my results on Wednesday 5th November.
The thought of having another operation pains me… My consultant said that from ultrasounds etc that I have had so far my lymph glands look clear but they want to check his surgically before making a decision. But after being diagnosed with Cancer I try not to get my hopes up that “Everything will be fine”!!! At the same time I am positive that the end result will be good, its just all the waiting and trreatment leading up to that.
Once I get my results I should know when my Radiotheray will start, which I am sort of looking firward to as I know I will be on the road to recovery. Will let you know how I get on.
Hi Mandy,
Welcome to this site,you will find loads of support here.We all understand how you are feeling,waiting on results is just awful as you don’t feel lucky after having a diagnosis of BC.My consultant said my nodes looked clear on ultrasound and they were clear at biopsy too.Its good it was found early and with it being small hopefully they will get clear margins so no more surgery.
Look after yourself and just take one step at a time.Let us know how the results go!
Hugs
Dot
xx
Hi Mandy and welcome to the BCC forums.
You may find BCC’s resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below to order a copy:
breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
In addition to the support you have here, if you feel it would help to talk to someone in confidence about the concerns you have, then please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. They can offer you a listening ear, support and information about other services we can offer you to help you through this difficult time. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
I hope this is of some help to you.
Best wishes
Lucy
Hi Mandy
so sorry you have had to join us, so you aswell. I was dx in April after finding a lump during routine check. Within 2 weeks, had mammogram, biopsy and scans etc and results a week later, with grade 3, 4cm lump. Had chemo first to reduce the lump and save my breast and this worked. On the 8th Oct, I had the lump removed, and a sentinal node biopsy and a breast reduction, to make them even! the following week I was told I was all clear. Margins and nodes showed no residual cancer. I start radiotherapy in 2 weeks time. Like you, I was totally convinced that I would not receive this good news and that more chemo and operations would lie ahead and this left me inconsolable. I cant say not to worry, because from experience, it cant be done but fingers crossed for you, and hope you receive the news you are wanting to. So many of us are among the lucky ones, and I dont think we will ever forget that.
good luck and best wishes
deb x
Only 2 days to go before I find out if I need further surgery. I would love for him to say, all went well, you can start Radiotherapy next week… be done for Xmas… bla bla bla… but still got it in my head, that he didn’t get the clearance he had hoped for, or depite having clear scans it has infact spread, or I will need chemo… I suppose if I think like that and he gives me good news - fantastic, and if its bad then I am prepared - this is worse than finding out I had Cancer.
I am trying to be positive, but now I’m off work and home alone, my mind keeps playing games. I just want Weds to be over!!!
When I was diagnosed my appointment was at 4.40 on a Wednesday and I was told to expect a wait as the Consultants have a meeting on Wednesdays to discuss the cases before calling in individuals. We thought the longer we waited the less important we were, but I was 2nd to last after a 3 hour wait - I now know from a Nurse friend that they leave the bad news patients last to allow more time to talk. My appt on Weds is at 5.20 I will go mad if I am left waiting again especially knowing what I know now… On a positive note the appintment was made before the results had come back so it wasn’t made with bad news in mind!! Still doesnt make me feel any better!!
Hi Mandy,
This is a new experience for me, and I wish I had had someone in a similar situation to speak to when I had my op on Friday. I was diagnosed on Oct 11th, and after meeting my consultant last Monday I was in having lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy last Friday. It has been doubly hard as this is my second cancer scare in less than 3 years as I had major surgery for a gynae cancer in January 06. Just when I felt I was getting my life back on track, I find a lump and I feel as if it has been a whirlwind since! Now I face a 3 week wait for results, and feel as if I have stepped back 3 years with sleepless nights and black thoughts. Although the surgery got rid of the cancer last time it doesn’t make it any easier, and where I focussed on recovering from surgery and getting my fitness back before I feel as though I am sinking into a black hole just now, not wanting to see anyone, which is SO not me. Sorry if I sound sorry for myself but at the moment I don’t feel I can voice these thoughts to anyone close to me, as they all think I am such a strong person who got through it before…
Elsie…No you don’t sound sorry for youself at all… thats why we are all here to talk to others about whats on our minds as with the best will in the world those closest to us do not know what we are going through, in the same way we don’t know what they are going through.
The waiting game is the most hardest. Sorry to hear this is the 2nd time for you. That is something that worries me, they say we all have it and it takes something to trigger it off… is the fact that I have had it once enough to trigger it off again… I am trying to be strong and positive, but I cant help think bad stuff although would never let anyone else know that for fear of making them think the same, when I need them to be strong. On a plus side there are many successful stories where it doesn’t return, I know a friend who has fought it 4 times… but all the same with up to 8 weeks off work each time there is only so long befre that starts causing other problems and triggers… having the op etc is the easy bit its the aftermath that causes the problems.
Sorry I’m waffling - the more I read these threads, the more I open up!!! Hope everything works out for you - We are all there for you if you need a chat! Mandy xxx
Thanks Mandy…Went out for a walk this morning to see if a bit of exercise would pick me up a bit but still feel as though mentally I am in a black place. So much for endorphins…?? Hoping that it may be partly to do with the anaesthetic and that I will start to feel a bit more optimistic as my consultant has been very up beat saying that it is very treatable etc. I think being off work certainly doesn’t help as I am so used to being in amongst people and I don’t really like being on my own for prolonged spells and at the moment I seem to be on my own a lot, yet at the same time I don’t really want company…weird eh?
Anyway hope your appointment goes well tomorrow and you get the result you want. xx
I can relate to that, The anesthetic made me feel somewhat rubbish for almost a week after, just started to feel a bit more lively saying that though its 4pm and I’m sill in my PJs!!! How bad is that!!! I may suggest to my partner about going food shopping or something later b4 I become institiutonalised in my own home!! LOL
People want to come round to see me too, but I don 't want them to, but when they are here its nice to see them…
I have spoken to the Nurse on the phone today following an email I sent which has generated lots of questions to ask tomorrow, done a bit more research online, called my boss to say hi, who is struggling to cope without me and played on the wii, and done some arm excercises in prep for Rads. Just wish I could go out in the car and visit my mum or something to get out!!!
I suppose I better go and get changed!!! I’ll report back tomorrow night. Wish me luck!!!
good luck for tomorrow. I am in the same situation, went back today but results not ready yet so have to go back on friday - same time slot as when got DX which was spooky!!!
Hope you get clear margins and no further surgery needed - I am hoping the same so we can get on with the Rads and Chemo. I am your age too - I am 30 in a months time - not sure will feel like partying!!!
good luck and let us know how it goes!!
Vicky.
I know what you mean… I was supposed to be in Australia for my 30th comming back on the 7th but had to cancel… if I get good news today though, I will arrange a belated meal with friends before Rads start then have a massive party when its all over with. Hope you get the results you want too…
Thanks
Mands x
hope all has gone well today for you!!! I am hoping to get good results so I can celebrate my 30th in some way. wow trip to OZ!!! hope you didn’t lose money having to cancel. this cancer puts a full stop on your life. I know if not for ever (hopefully) but at the moment I feel like I have ground to a halt while life goes on around me.
Good luck for today and hope you get to sort out a party of sorts.
take care
Vicky
Got my resuults - a mixture of good and totally bad news. Good news is that the results of my sentinal node biopsy were clear, bad news is, during surgery he found that there was more than one lump. He said to me that due to my age the best way to ensure the risk of reoccurance is mimimal would be to have a mastectomy followed by 5-7 months of chemo (1 every 3 weeks) then possibly followed by Radiotherapy for the last 3-4 weeks. As alot of you will already know through experience I will lose my hair within a few weeks which is an extra brucie bonus. This was a total shock, although I was sort of prepared for it not being as cut and dried and said before surgery. I still feel numb. Me and Mum are going wig shopping this afternoon, and I might book myself in for a hair cut this weekend.
I go for my op on Wednesday and start Chemo soon after. I want to cry but I’m all cried out. Not sure how much longer I can keep the positive front on for, as it hasn’t aid off so far. I think I’m angry more than anything. I know I should be grateful that something is being done and I’m going to have a normal life at the end of it, but at the mo I just want to break things and scream at someone.
Oh Mandy I know it is disappointing but concentrate on the clear nodes-that is the most important thing.The rest is scary especially as you are so young but it will pass love and you will celebrate and live your life.Congratulations on that node result.Love Valx
PS If you want to scream and break things try screaming at and thumping a pile of pillows-thats what I did!!
Oh Mandy-so sorry you didn’t get the results you were looking for but at least the node result was good. That bit really worries me as I am a bit lymph compromised as it is having had bilateral clearance in the groin during the last episode which has left me with lymphoedema in both legs, and since my job depends on me being on my feet all day, I am terrified of any more problems.
Has anyone suggested any form of therapy to help cope with the emotional side of it? I was advised to try visualisation therapy last time and although a bit sceptical, I found it did help me to relax, so think I will have to hunt for my cd and start it again myself!
Know what you mean about people-was on my own all day Tuesday and had a s*** day-just wanted to cry all day, then yesterday between visitors and phone calls it was non stop, but felt as though I was on an unnatural high…! Oh to have a normal day at work…I can’t think beyond getting the results at the moment and hopefully having no more than rads, Will have to prepare myself for the possibility of further surgery , and/or chemo, but don’t really want to go down that road…
Anyway sending a big hug! xx
Elsie… I really hope you get the results you want… I think this is he most scary time the not knowing.
I am comming to terms with loosing a breast the way I see it is if that goes the Cancer goes but I am more concerned about my hair falling out - which unlike my boob will grow back - stupid I know! I have been reading up on recons but it looks an awful procedure to have - but like they said one step at a time… Had a look at wigs today - but the shop scared me with all the dummy heads… I’m thinking I may just opt for a baseball cap - I’ve seen some with hair on which look quite funky. Sorry thats the PA in me always planning ahead!!!
oh so sorry that you have had this news. I know what you mean about being angry - its like being a child not being able to control anything. We have this awful C**P thing but can’t change it. I know we get treatment but it doesn’t just affect your body but your mind as well.
I am also more concerned about the hair going. I am not vain but feel that it makes it more identifiable to people where are my boobs can be replaced with a “chicken fillet”. please feel free to scream on here - I intend to when I need it.
take care.
Vicky.xx
Hi Mandy,
Been thinking about you today, and hope the op goes as well as possible and recovery straightforward. I am still in limbo-no word of an appointment yet, and trying to maintain some kind of normal family life but it is difficult as the thought is always in the back of your mind as to what comes next? Anyway sending you hugz. xx
Just got my appointment in for Monday, and got a sick feeling just reading it. Want to think that they will have found clear margins and no lymph involvement, but dread being told otherwise. A day that started quite well with coffee with 2 former colleagues who are both at the end of treatment and had such a laugh with all the latest gossip in the area, has just deteriorated, and being on my own at home now doesn’t help. Supposed to be organising a surprise party for a friend tonight and can’t motivate myself to get going. I hate the way this awful disease plays havoc with your emotions-I am normally such a positive person. It’s going to be o long 4 days…
Call me thick or what…it’s the 24th NOT this Monday…the agony goes on…