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Just newly diagnosed

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Suds 

Yes Im hearing you and what you said . I guess youre right ... but if my comments made you smile then  they werent so daft afterall ha . And I will stay on here now youve pointed out the reasons why I  should and I will keep you updated and yes its good to talk even if it is  through a  screen lol .

Flippin heck I certainly didnt forsee any of this at the beginning of the summer . Thought I was having a good time  ..met a nice bloke who I was enjoying myself with ...and even when the kids were driving me nuts I was having plenty fun so I took all their problems in my stride and thought hey ho . But here I am chatting/writing away all by myself  ( bloke took off ) weeks away from having my breast off ...and its like Im having a tooth out ....am I mad . Its sooooooo bloody surreal . My son is distraught and cant bear the thought of what Im going through ...my daughter says Iv ruined any chance of them putting together a surprise gathering of some friends for a get together meal before my op ... because I  let it slip Iv got so many things planned and Im so busy right up to op date .. They think Im abnormal ha . I think Im perfectly normal .

Anyway enough of my  waffling hope you get those blisters sorted and can wear your wig ...what style and colour did you choose by the way ?? Steph xxx 

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Moijanxx, 

 

Nice to hear from you.

Saddened to hear that you've lost your hair a few times.

 

I know I probably will get used to the wig, but right now with the blisters it 'really is irritating my scalp. I did get a liner while at the wig shop at the weekend and it does help a bit.

I've also bough a few cotton hats which are really comfy. I think I might try some of the scarves as I've seen some I like.

Sending you a big hug x

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph,

 

Sometimes you make me laugh with your comments!

What us it with the "I don't feel worthy" comment? Of course you are woman! We're all on a BC journey, we just all have different journeys.

We're all going through different things, at different times but we're all on it.

Like you I don't talk to many people about it as I  feel maybe they don't want to hear about it and like you I joined this forum in the hope that there were other women who would understand about all the things you go through. The fear of the unknown, the diagnosis, the surgery, the treatment and the side effects. All the people on the forum who write about their journey including yourself have helped me enormously. I don't feel as if I'm on my own anymore. Just knowing that there are others going on the same journey has helped.

I haven't taken any time off work till today. I woke this morning with a blocked nose, so I don't want to take any chances as I have another round of chemo this Friday. So I've took some cold capsules ans I'm chilling on the couch. Hopefully I can go back to work tomorrow, but maybe I won't. I'll need to see how I feel about wearing my wig for a full day. It might irritate the blisters so not sure yet.

Steph girl, you keep your chin up. I'm here anytime for a chat.

I'll keep in touch, I want to know how your surgery goes and that your doibg ok. Sending big hugs xx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

 
Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

I Steph J,

 

I was given a voucher for a wig along with the choice of 3 shops I could go to. I asked a work colleague about the shops as her friend went to one of them. I ended up going to the same shop.

The women who ran the shop were brilliant, there were a really good choice of wigs on display. I picked a wig from one of the brochures as I didn't want anything to different from my own hair.

The wig I picked us great, I loved the colour and style and was able to take it away with me.

The woman I had assured me that as soon as my hair started to fall out all I had to do was phone and they would fit me in to get my wig fitted properly and if I wanted they would gave shaved off any scraggly bits of hair left.

Once again it was an experience that I was dreading but it turned out not to be as bad as I thought it would have been. I also took along two friends who helped and made the whole thing quite a fun experience believe it or not.

So try not to worry about it to much!

Honestly Steph I don't feel naked now that I'm bald, I actually feel ok, I put a hat on this morning and went out a walk, was a bit cold but I felt great. You just have to remember it is only hair and it will grow back, you'll be fine. xx

Moijan
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi ladies, just thought id mention that I have lost my hair several times during the last 16 years since my diagnosis..this last time was a bit worse for me because I liked my hair just as it was and really didnt want to lose it!

anyway, i now have a lovely wig.. They do itch but have bought some wig caps to wear underneath it. They stop it itching and help keep it in place.

 

the wig caps are like tights, eg made ogf the same material. I also hav some elasticated headscarves which i actually liked myself in, but of course its getting colder now.

 

best of luck with your treatment, all of you.

 

love and hugs,

 

Moijanxx

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Arhh Sudzi 

So sorry youre having a rotten time , the blisters sound so painful and yes dont blame you for leaving wig off till recovered . Keep me posted I am interested ...does that sound odd ha ...not meant to . Im learning so much on here . I dont speak to many people as I feel theres too many girls on here so much worse than me and I dont feel worthy . But I read the threads and god how I wish I could help ... in my mind I send as many hugs and fairy dust that I can . 

Im just waiting now and working through the weeks till my surgery ...it seems to be a long way off even though it isnt . Iv actually got a soreness in my breast now that I didnt have , I thought maybe I was imagining it due to subconscious stress ,, but its def not .. But its coming off soon so Ill put it with it till then . 

Not sure if I mentioned but Iv gone back to work until my node biopsy . Might as well and then Ill just go into sick after that . Iv got a to do list and so far Iv managed to get my living room painted and my friend has put hem on my new curtains .. couldnt bear the thought of visitors coming with the way it was lol ... I was meant to do it in the summer but my daughter and her kids moved back home and I thought sod it Im not decorating till theyve gone ...flipping typical ! The old saying Never put off till tomorrow what can  be done today springs to mind . Anyway next week agenda ... sort out credit card balance onto 0% and sort out bits of paperwork that Iv been putting off . Doesnt sound much but Iv been putting these things off which is typical me . 

Im glad to hear that you put "your hat on" and went out ...good for you x And I dont blame you for crying because your hair came out so would I . A lady who spoke to me had had chemo and lost her hair ...said " If you have chemo and lose your hair dont worry about it ..it will grow back thicker " She said always try and turn everything into a positive no matter what " .And I guess thats all any of us can do ...although easier said than done for some people I realise . I cant really make statements like that with my diagnosis ..thats what I meant by not feeling worthy . But I have used her advice to deal with other issues that have been difficult lately. Anyway Im off now so speak soon ... if you feel up to it and you havent been already ...go and see Bridget Jones it will cheer you up ... I havent belly laughed to a film for ages ...it was hilarious . Take care hugs and fairy dust xxxxx

Skye
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi

 

Glad to hear that things are better with you - a wee cuddle along the way helps xxx. Hi he blisters sound dreadful - hope I give that part a miss. Can see how shaving it all off would be liberating. 

 

I see the Onco on Wed night. Been told it's the following:-

 

6 x Chemo - 3 weeks apart

16 x Herceptin - 3 weeks apart (starts near the end of Chemo - together with tablet therapy)

Rads - between 3-5 weeks. They haven't worked that part out yet. 

 

Will get dates and times then - a wee step towards being cured 👍👍

 

Need to see about getting a wig - how long was it from when you picked yours to picking it up - am nervous about being left feeling "naked"  but  suppose that's the last of my worries lol. 

 

 

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda,

 

Nice to hear from you, glad your on the mend, what kind of side effects are you getting? I hope it's not too bad.

Take your time shopping for bras, don't buy till your sure it's what you want. Try looking on line as well.

Like you I'm not sleeping but I've not actually slept thru the full night since the beginning of this journey.

I just take one day at a time and each step I consider a hurdle that with a little help I'll get over and keep on going till the next one.

Please keep in touch and let me know how your getting on.

Sending big hugs xx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J,

 

Thank you for the cuddle. 

I decided just to go for it - I bought a pkt of razors, went into the shower and shaved the rest of my hair off.  I didn't realise just how many blisters there were on my scalp! My God did they sting!  Dried my head and then covered in moisturizing lotion, oh boy did it feel cold.

To be honest with you I think I actual rock being bald lol.

It's not bad once it's all off. I feel quite liberated. I put on some make up, got dressed, put on a hat and went out a walk to the shops. If people were looking at me I didn't notice.

I had my wig fitted in the afternoon, it's very nice but irritating the blisters so I'll leave it for a few days.

Round two of chemo this coming Friday. I'm having 6 rounds all together. One round every 3 weeks. This to be followed by 20 rounds of radio therapy.

Was at the hospital for a few hours last time. The quadruple check everything before and during the treatment, so it takes a bit of time. But honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

I've not been as sick as I thought I was going to be either, so that's a bonus and I really hope it stays that way. I just need to get these blisters checked, I want to know if it was the chemo that caused them or if it was the virus that causes them.

Just going to put one of my wee caps on as my head getting a bit cold.

Let me know how your getting on. Sending lots of big hugs and cuddles xx

Brenda77
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi,  So sorry you are battling with the side effects of chemo.  I am thinking of you and send all my love.  I am starting to get side effects from Letrozole.  Could not sleep last night because of pains in feet and ankle joints.  Went to look for mastectomy bras today but not a very good choice.  Could not be bothered to trail round shops and will look another day.  Still going to get wounds drained but the amount is getting much less. I will keep in contact with you and lots of hugs.  Brenda

Skye
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi

 

First of all have a big mammy cuddle for getting through the Chemo. Well done!!! 👌👍 They will probably adjust this to try n minimise the side effects on you.  

 

How many sessions of Chemo are you having and how long was it for the first one?  I've been told I'll probably need 6, got an appt with Onco on Monday night, when dates and times will be sorted out. Dreading it tbh! 😔😔

Having Herceptin treatment too. 

 

The terry cloths sound fab - hate the thought of a cold head (don't even want to think of the hair loss).

 

How are you feeling now - any more side effects? 

 

Big hugs pet - you'll get through this - we all will xxx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Steph J,

 

Sorry forgot about Terry cloths.

 

They are Terry towelling caps that you can wear if your hair falls out. I think they'll be good for night time.

 

They gave me a few. Blue, Pink, White, Black and Navy. They are quite nice. I'll need to use them now as I don't want my head to get cold lol

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J,

 

Sorry for not being in touch but I've been up and down emotionally, bust with work etc.

I'm sitting just now with tears running down my face as my hair has just started coming out in big clumps. I really didn't think it would bother me this much but it does.

After the first round of chemo I had a terrible headache for a few days. I don't know if it was due to chemo or stress of the last few weeks leading up to chemo.

4 days after 1st chemo I had a viral infection. I had big boils on my face and neck and really sore throat, so I had to to all this checked out with cancer clinic and GP. Had to watch for changes in my temperature so had to to buy a digital thermometer. A few days later my scalp started to hurt, small blisters came up and my scalp was stinging. That's probably why my hair is now falling out. I've not felt ill so I think I'm lucky. I can cope with all that's been going on so far I just get a bit emotional a lot more than usual. 

Sometimes I feel such a wimp about stupid things like my hair, I mean it's only hair, it'll grow back.

I will call the wig place when it opens and hopefully I can go in today and get the rest of my hair shaved off and my wig fitted properly. I'm sure I'll cry then as well.

Enough about me. Let me know how your getting on with your surgery etc

Sending big hugs x

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi

Iv looked on here a couple of times to see how youre doing ..Hope all going on ok xxx

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Suds 

Glad  your chemo went ok . If you dont mind me asking what are Terry cloths for ? Are they a headress for wearing all the time ? And what causes the thumping sore head ? 

And yes Iv got my pan now .. I did try to reply to you last night but computer crashed as I sent post .. lost will to write again after that ha .

Anyway I have the sentinel node biopsy on 17th Nov , results to follow on 30th and Mastectomy on 5th Dec  

In meantime I have to have CT scan on my abdomen to check if the tissue blood vessels are viable to use for my recon . The timescale suits me fine as Im lower down on the list because my cancer in non invasive and obviously other ladies come before me . This is how it should be too . Im also very lucky because I havent had to cancel any of my  plans over the last few months so Iv actually achieved all that I wanted to this year and been to events that I wanted to , so life has been good . Im into Northern and modern soul so I try and get to as many weekend events that I can . As crazy as it may sound Im so pleased that I havent missed any and its looks as though Ill manage my November trip too . I dont know about you but Im a great believer if things run smoothly to plan then it must be meant to be ,so the fact the timings have worked out well has kept me in the positive frame of mind that Im meant to have this op and the decisions have all been the right ones . 

Oh I forgot Iv got to start Tamoxifen too although Im not too sure if both surgeons agreed with this , plastic surgeon felt it wasnt worth it as there should be a 4 week gap from stopping it to surgery although he did add there has been new research that says you can stop within a certain amount of hours , but other surgeon felt she wanted me to have it to stop any further spread .I found that a wee bit confusing as low grade DCIS  is supposed to be contained but maybe the suspicious area concerned her ? not sure .Anyway I did speak to the Nurse and I asked what exactly was the issue and she said because it increases likelihood of DVT , so I must admit that did worry me and Im not sure if it has any bearing atall but I said because Im back in work now until mid Nov and i work nights I wondered if being in bed quite a bit and thus lack of mobility ...would that have any affect or does it not matter ...lol Im a nurse myself and trust me  I know very little about BC and treatments . Its strange how when its yourself sound reasoning seems to go out of the window . Anyway that about sums up were Im at .. take care and dont forget those anti sickness tabs . Big hugs and fairy dust xxx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J,

Thanks for the message, Chemo wasn't as bad as I had I imagined it was going to be. Nurses were very nice, I was made very comfortable and the nurse stayed with me and chatted through all of it. We had a good laugh and it went in very quickly. Lots if anti sickness pills to try and remember to take over the next few days but I'll get there.
She gave me some lovely little Terry cloth caps for when my hair comes out - I thought that was very nice. Over the next few months when I go I can have a head, foot, scalp or hand massage while I'm there. I've had a thumping sore head since yesterday but apart from that I'm doing good.
Enough about me, how are you doing?
Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda,

 

Nice to hear from you, so glad about your results.  Pleased to hear your on the mend. 

My lymph node results were negative as well but I wasn't hormone receptive so I need to have chemo then radiotherapy.

I started chemo yesterday, had built it up in my mind to be something awful, but wasn't as bad as I had imagined. So I'm chilling on the couch just now.

Please keep in touch to let me know how your doing?

 

Sending big hugs x

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Sudzi hope you ok today after your chemo big hugs xxx

Brenda77
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi,  Just got home today.  Going to hospital every two to three days for drainage.  Been to see Consultant for results and so relieved.  Lymph nodes negative and do not need chemo or radiotherapy.  It is ER positive and I have been put on Letrozole.  Thank you for your encouraging messages.  I will still keep in touch with you as I feel I have made lots of new friends.  Hope you are okay.

Lots of love, Brenda xxxx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda, 

 

Just a wee quick text to let you know I've been thinking about You and I hope your doing okay.

Sending big hugs

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J, 

 

I'm doing okay just now. I haven't heard any more about my heart scan. I just hope that because it's not been done my chemo can still go ahead and start this coming Friday.

I feel I've been waiting for a while for it to start, so just hoping it still goes ahead. I've been trying my wig on this week and I've decided I quite like it.

I've been getting things arranged and ready for when chemo starts.

 

Took my wee grand daughter for a children's day at a Maggie Centre.  She had a visit to the radiotherapy dept, she got to lie on the table and see the lasers etc. She then told me "it's a bit scary nan but it won't hurt you so you'll be okay". She was shown some of the equipment used in chemo treatment but she's not sure about that. She said she had a really good time with the other kids that were there. I'm so glad she's not so worried now, it makes me feel better. She's only seven.

 

Lots of luck for next Wednesday. I'll be thinking about you. Let me know how you get on.  Sending you big hugs

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi 

Yes Im ok , still got mushy head . I feel I should not be on here as you and the other girls are going through so much worse . I feel bit of a fraud but its so calming on here I cant help but have a little look . I have a double appointment on Wednesday next week to see surgeon and plastic surgeon . So will have plan then I hope and no anti climax again as in the last time when I  was not expecting to be referred on to other hospital . (  Not sure if you can mention hospital names on here ) But Im going to be seen at a unit with an impeccable reputation so yet again another reason why I  feel blessed  - someone  must be looking after me . The only dread is if they ask for  3rd biopsy from  the suspicious cell area .. that had to be the worst thing Iv ever experienced in my life .. I could have cried my eyeballs out ! 

Anyway hows you ? any more thoughts on your wig .... dont know why you worried about it . In this day and age you can be anyone you want to be and change your image daily if you want , I imagine the biggy is its ok having the choice to change your image and this is enforced . ..a huge difference . I would be so upset if I lost my hair but I had coffee with a lady who diagnosed with BC two years ago and she underwent chemo , she is an inspiration I have to say . But when I said Id been told I probably wouldnt need chemo she said she had been told the same but following the breast tissue histology and the presence of other abnormalities she did . And went on to lose her hair . Her comment to me was if it happens dont worry about it , it grows back thicker anyway . And she has got lovely hair , grey in colour but it looks in fab condition so much better than mine . She said whatever you have have to face turn it into a positive . So I have thought quite a bit about what Ill do if that happens ....thats me Im afraid Im planning stuff and it may not be necessary . But I do anyway . So I concluded Ill embrace the challenge and maybe experiment with different headresses ..and if not Ill do a Tom Jones " and leave your hat on " . Quite like hats anyway . So Suds.. where are you up to at moment ...let me know .Big hugs and fairy dust for you xxx

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

 

 

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J,

 

Just a wee quick text to say hope you doing okay after your news.

 

sending some big hugs xx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda,

 

Just checking in again to say hope your doing ok and I'm thinking about you.

 

sending big hugs xx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda,

 

I hope your doing ok.

 

Sending big hugs xx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J,

 

So glad it's not invasive, sorry it has to be a mastectomy. 

I think when your told what your results are, good or bad your brain seems to go all mushy. I know mine did.

I too would be concerned about the suspicious cells and I think better to be safe than sorry. That's just my opinion.

Seems a shame that your having to wait again for the next step. That's the way I feel sometimes.  Everybody feels different emotions at different times. I did, I was a mess and I still am some days. It's okay to feel whatever you want to feel.  

I still feel as if it's a bit surreal. People say "oh your handling it well" .

I say "oh yeah, I'm like a duck on rapids, on the surface I'm nice and calm and acting normal, but underneath I'm paddling like mad so I don't go over the edge.

I had to go and get fitted for a wig yesterday, it was a very strange experience. Still not sure if I'll wear it. 

As to being overwhelmed - well! you might have a few days like that, sometimes the whole idea of it comes crashing down on you and your not quite sure what to do. That's what happens to me, maybe everyone's different.

I really hope you don't have to wait too long foe things to get moving, please remember I'm here if you want to chat. I'll be thinking about you.

Sending lots of love and lots of hugs.

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi 

Hope this message finds you in good spirits as its a couple of days since you put your thread on , sorry Iv been off line . 

Well my heads a bit mushy , my news is kind of good I think ? I have a 59mm x 25mm area of low grade DCIS , pre invasive and part of the 59mm has suspcious cells too  that they dont know what they are ..so bit confusing . Area too big to take without leaving me with a deformed booby ... plus nipple will have to go .So surgeon asks me what thoughts I have .. I say well as Id already been told I had widespread calcifications ..widespread is widespread so didnt really think there was much option than to have a mastectomy especially as it had already been mentioned as worst case scenario .. surgeon said she was glad  Id come to that decision by myself and she was happy to do a mastectomy . But went over the other issue of low grade DCIS being on trial and as it is contained within the ducts , could take the wait ,  observations and see what happens .But I cant take that option  because there is not enough evidence ...what is there to wait for ?? Also the suspicious cells ....and without taking the breast tissue and sending to histology ...no sure way of knowing whether there is any high grade DCIS in there as well . , So Sudzi my head in a bit of a spin ... very good news  no invasive cancer has been detected  but the double edged sword is that I actually cant be certain of that until after the mastectomy . So really Im bit back to square one not really knowing ...its all a bit of a roller coaster . Outcome at present is after surgeon examined me she felt I would be better with a procedure that she does not do so she has referred me onto another surgeon . Back to waiting for another assessment . Feelin blessed that I am being looked after for the best outcome for me , It has been made clear to me though that the 2nd surgeon will make their own decision to what they feel is right for me too .So all I can hope for is that this is not going  to go on for too long . Breast nurse did ring me on Thursday to let me know that the referral had been received by the other hospital and  I should hear from them soon . So that in a nutshell is where Im at ..Hope that makes sense . ps Not quite sure how Im supposed to feel , Im not complaining because you and the other girls seem to be going through hell and the diagnosis appear to be much more serious than mine is . I just still feel quite overwhelmed but I shouldnt be because at this moment in time Im a very lucky lady xx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J, 

 

Just a wee message to say hope your getting on ok.

 

I had a massive meltdown the other day, but feeling a bit better now.

 

Let me know how your doing.

 

Sending big hugs xx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda,

 

Just thought I'd send you a wee message to say I hope your surgery went well. I hope your not in to much pain. I'll try and post a wee message when I can just so you know I'm thinking about you. Sending big hugs xx

marydan
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Brenda77, will be thinking of you tomorrow. x

Brenda77
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Many thanks Sudzi.  I had the radio-active isotope injected today.  Have to be at the hospital for 7.15 in the morning.  I feel in panic.  Thank you for thinking of me.  I will be back on the site as soon as I am able.

Lots of love, Brenda xxx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda,

 

Just popped on to wish you best of luck for tomorrow.  I hope all goes well. I'll be thinking about you.

Sending you lots of love and big hugs xx

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi 

Glad you have support and your ex is helping ,  In the past Iv always found my support comes from the most unlikely people , those who I would never have guessed and those who I did ...let me down . Life can be strange . 

I agree everyone has a story and lots of  people do have sadness and stress in their lives ... I think were all a bit guilty of not noticing . Maybe just as well sometimes I couldnt cope ha  ( tongue in cheek ) . You didnt need the  latest either did you ... Ill be thinking of you on Wednesday and blowing my fairy dust . xxx 

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J, I've just read your post and honestly it made me smile. Please don't think I'm making light of the situation with your family I'm definitely not. I just smiled because it's great to know that all our families are not perfect in any way, shape or form. In the past 18 months my partner left me, my mum passed away, I had to have surgery on my arm, my dad then passed away and like you just when you think it can't get any worse this happens. I come from a large family but since being diagnosed I've hardly seen any of them. It's like they are avoiding me. Their support would have been a great comfort. I have three lovely sons and a daughter in law who will be with me on this journey so I'm not on my own.

P.S.

My ex partner has been to all my hospital appointments with me and he says he will be here for me all thru the next stage and as long as he's needed. He's taking me to all my doctors and hospital appointments and he's helping with the garden, shopping etc.

 

So I consider myself very lucky at the moment.

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

I love the pics Sue , made me smile xx And Sudzi of course you want Wednesday to come .You will then know what youre dealing with . Im sure my hair has now got a lot more grey from only a few weeks ago , the stress of waiting and wondering is awful . I only have one more sleep and I will hear my fate but bring it on I say so I can deal with it , this not knowing has got to be the worst . 

Im sleeping quite well so far I must admit , I have lost weight and Im not feeling any motivation to do anything and I dont particulary care either right now . This is obviously  the way my body has responded  to the situation so Ill just ride with it .

I have had a very stressful summer with lots of problems with my daughter and her children ...very long story with a history of at least 15 years . She was in a domestic violent relationship which resulted in all sorts over the years , every year I think thats got to be the last problem ...but oh no here we go again . Now I have a family back at home and all the crappy garbage that comes along too . The guy I met back in March decided to go back to his ex the week after I told him I had been diagnosed , so all in all I think my little body has just decided to shut down for a while . And quite frankly thats ok with me . The most important day is tomorrow and I dont have to speculate anymore . Iv no idea how I am going to react but I do know that all the energy I have will be conserved and used to get me through this next chapter in my life . Crikey dont know why i just blabbed all that I was only supposed to offer support to Sudzi ha ....sorry Sudzi it became all about me there .... big hug honey Wednesday will soon be here xxx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Thanks Steph j and Brenda for all your support.

I'll take all the jelly tot fairy dust I can get. I know this might seem really stupid but I need Wednesday to come round quickly. The waiting has not been good for me, sleepless nights, no appetite, emotional and all the rest. Come Wednesday I'll know what the treatment plan is, I'll know when it's to start. I am not looking forward to the next 9 months but at the minute all I think is that it may be somewhere else in my body and I need to get this treatment started adsp. Then maybe just maybe I might feel a bit more positive in my mind

Sue H-S
Community Champion

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J

not wacky at all! - I have a small Merling living in my woods - and fairies!

 

Merlin.jpgFairy dust.jpgFairy home smaller.jpg

Hugs

Sue xx

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Big hugs Brenda and Sudzi for this coming week ... I will be blowing some of my imaginary fairy dust to you . I might sound a bit wacky but Im not really , I just know I cant make you better but I wish I could . 

Lots of Bubble gum rainbow jelly tot fairy dust for you and all the girls who should not be on this site xxxx

Steph x

Brenda77
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Sudzi,  Thank you so much for being so caring.  My heart is pounding and my stomach is churning as it is all happening next week.  I go on the 21st to get the dye injected and then back the next day for surgery.  I can easily feel this lump and have got into my head that it will definitely be in my lymph nodes.  I am not the strongest person mentally as I worry a lot but this is just something else!  I am trying to get things sorted at home before it all starts but I can't really be bothered.  I am going for bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction and I think this decision is surprising some of my friends.  I feel I have got enough to cope with at the moment and I can always go for reconstruction at a later stage when I have got all the treatment out of the way and hopefullly I am in a bettter frame of mind.  I will be thinking of you too and please let me know how you get on.

Lots and lots of love, Brenda xxx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda,

 

Just wondering how you are today? I've got an appt with oncologist on Wed 21st. Will find out then what treatment plan is and when it it will start. I have copied lots of things from the list on this site about what I might need for when I go thru chemotherapy. I might not need them but it has kept me occupied going to the shops to get them.

I know your going to hospital on 22nd and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

Sending you big hugs xx

Brenda77
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Thank you so much Sudzi.  I am so pleased I found this website as when I have a panic there is always someone there to calm me down.  I have some good friends but I miss someone in the house to share my feelings and worries.  I had my pre-op assessment today and the operation is set for the morning of the 22nd. I will keep in touch with you all and thank you again for all your thoughts.

Lots of love and hugs, from Brenda xxx

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Steph J 

 

Thank you for your message. I took my wee grand daughter to school this morning and a few of her friends mummies(I don't know them that well) all gave me a big hug and offered their support. I felt very humbled by this. 

I also went back to work yesterday. My colleagues are and will be very supportive and they know that I appreciate all their help and support - some of them are nurses so I can ask them questions or just chat with them.

Sudzi
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda,

 

I've been thinking about you a lot. I'm sending you lots of big hugs and plenty of love. I'm quite sad at the thought of you going thru this on your own. I really hope that all goes well next week. 

Please remember that we are all here for you to offer support in any way we can.

Steph J
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi I have just read your thread and I am so sorry to see your words . Some people do react in very strange ways , and I cannot begin to imagine how hurt and disappointed you must have felt . You are not a drama queen and have every right to expect at least some comforting words from your family . I am very new to this and am still awaiting my final diagnosis and management plan . Im overwhelmed and anxious . I feel very blessed the cells have been detected and will be treated . I have been surprised at how much comfort I have got from a simple text from my friends and colleagues . I hope you are getting some comfort . Sending you big hugs xx

Sarah04
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Sending hugs Sue and everyone else.
I can understand why you had a good old cry Sue. I take my hat off to you going through treatment on your own and helping all us ladies too. You are a remarkable lady, and everyone needs a wobble some days.
Brenda. If you can have a bit of respite for a few weeks and it feels right for you then I would say go ahead. If you find you are able to do more Han you thought then you can always cut it short? I had a single Mx and apart from the drains being annoying I recovered pretty quick. Although everyone is different.
Hugs to all you brave ladies
Sarah x
Brenda77
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Janey and Stacey,  Thank you for your suggestions.  I think I would prefer to go to the local care home for a couple of weeks when there is someone there 24/7.  I am just worried in case I cannot get in and out of bed during the night.  My friends have promised to help with the hair washing when I get home but I hope in the future I will not suffer any permanent weakness and be able to get in and out of the bath.

You are all so kind and I will let you know what happens.

Love, Brenda xx

Janey2
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Hi Brenda. I'm not sure whether your surgery is being done in a general hospital. However, there should be a social care discharge team. I'm not sure of your age but I'm certain you would be entitled to an assessment. An Occupational Therapist should be able to provide an assessment of your personal care needs and also to provide any equipment you need at home if identified. Speak with your BC nurse about accessing this, you may be able access quickly via a duty system. It may be possible to get a care package in place to support you at home, rather than think about a care home. Your BC nurse may also be able to provide reassurance on managing. I've been lucky enough to be able to wash my hair but am a convert to dry shampoo following foot surgery last year, when showers and baths were banned for 6 weeks. Thinking of you all, it sounds like a tough time all round. My family are far away and BT fault has meant neither phone not Internet for a couple days - just when it's most needed! Big hugs xx
Stacey
Member

Re: Just newly diagnosed

Brenda,

 

You might consider getting a bath seat.  There are ones that sit on both sides of the tub (e.g. across the tub) so you can just sit down on it and then swing your legs over and into the tub.  You could then buy a shower hose which fits over the tap.

 

I don't have a date for surgery yet, but I live alone too and feel much as you do.  However, others have managed and so will we!