One of my funny moments..........immediately after chemo - away for the weekend with a girlfriend and we are wandering around the supermarket getting all the stuff we need when she turns to me and says "can I just borrow your shampoo?". She then looked at me, bald as a coot, and collapsed in the aisle with laughter, so did I!
Heard this today - Vicar arrives for General Synod conference in London, checks into Hilton and says to receptionist "I hope the porno channel in my room is disabled". She replied "You are a sick bastard"!! Am still laughing.
As I was being given my anaesthetic my hand flopped onto his crotch - I just managed to apologise before I was out for the count!
When I was about to go into theatre for my mastectomy my surgeon was marking my right breast with a black marker pen. He was very glum and I suddenly got a fit of (nervous) giggles. I turned to my husband and said in an Australian accent " Can you guess what it is yet?" The surgeon stopped, looked at me and whistled the tune of 'tie me kangaroo down sport' - love him!!
when i was in the little room where you wait before you go in for rads, this awful alarm started going off - I thought Id touched the button by mistake and was getting hotter by the minute thinking how am I going to explain this, then the radioographer unlocked the door and said weve got to evacuate! So we all had to troupe out into a safe area for ages, turns out a member of staff had presssed it by mistake! Oh the relief!
Just had a call from doctor's receptionist "why have I asked to see the midwife?". (I'm on my way to 60).
Why didn't she know that I never mean what I say and needed the district nurse?
My youngest son was playing outside with the neighbours kids when one of the girls said to him
I know your mum has got cancer.
To which he replied how do you know that?
She said because she hasnt got any hair
Son replies how do you know she doesnt want to wear it like that!!!!
Love him to bits
I am only starting this whole business but the funniest thing that has happened to me so far is from when I had my first op for my partial and gland removal.
I don't know why but this time after waking up in recovery I was all happy, you'd think after this one I'd be all weepy like I usually am but anyway I digress. There was a man brought in opposite me and his surgical team were coming in to check on him. An anaesthetist walked in past me and looked at me, I smiled at him and waved, he looked back at me rather strangely and then checked the name at the bottom of my bed. He walked out and gave me a long look. Then a few seconds later he came back in and walked over to be. He apologised and asked if he knew me, to which I gave him a huge morphine induced smile and said "No I just wanted to wave at you", he smiled politely and disapppeared very quickly.
Then when I was wheeled back up to the ward I checked the time and realised all my teaching mates were on lunch together at that time, so I phoned my friend the PE teacher as she always has her phone, all i could hear was her saying in a confused tone, "it's Lisa". She said hello and I, again morphine induced, said "HI it's Lisa here, just thought I'd phone you and tell you all I am out from my surgery and feeling great", She said I sounded a little groggy, very polite and I replkied yep I am doped to the eyeballs and couldn't be better. I can see that once being brought up again when i get back to the staffroom.
Not hilarious but makes me chuckle each time I think about them
My 19 year daughter returned from 6 months backpacking in Oz last Sunday.It is the first time she has seen my baldy head but took it her stride as she does everything My funny moment was Saturday when she was getting ready to go out with her friends she asked me if I had any hairspray!!!!!!!!!!
Don't you just love them
I have just read this and now I smile, I have posted on here about my wasted day cos of flippin machines, laptop in my case. We are so dependant on them for stuff and then they go wrong [well its not our fault they do these things is it] and cause chaos all around.
Hi to everyone.
had another of those moments the night before last.
I was in bed asleep with OH and our two westies and I heard "bleep bleep bleep" thought Sh t we have burglers woke OH he couldnt hear anything and then "bleep bleep bleep"
Bleary eyed he said "Debs, could it be your mobile"
As I fumbled in my handbag in the dark to retrieve a new very small phone I noticed I had a text do I want to top up and get some free time. Free time I was asleep now Im mad how dare they I will ring orange in the morning. Another fumble as fingers tips are all tingly and feel like shovels I try to switch off said phone. Abit wiered I thought I saw bubbles before it went dead. It took flippen ages to get back to sleep and then I heard our land line downstairs ringing I shot out of bed to answer it but too late it had gon e to answer phone. I picked up the message from Samantha my eldest " mum is everything o.k. when you get this please call back I love you."
Oh dear whats wrong I better call her back its only 6.30 it must be serious mind spinning I got through " Whats wrong why are you ringing so early" upstairs I could just about hear OH on his phone speaking to Donna- Marie(my youngest)
"Why did you ring D-M at 4 am shes been trying to get through to you for the last 4 hours shes been on to the hospital they have checked A &E and the despatch ward and want to know should they send an ambulance" she went on & on.
I couldnt stop laughing I had dialed her by mistake thats why I could see the bubbles. After lots of explaining and loads of sorrys all was well.
Well maybe not all, Both daughter and hubby really tired through lack of sleep + westies.OH confiscated my mobile. I had to explain to chemo today as they were sending out a search party due to ward leaving them a message to check I was o.k. is it the cancer or have I always been this dippy?.
I will let you all be the judge
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I was feeling really low untill i read the post on here and they made me cry. but with tears of laughter. still laughing to myself
the morning of my op a friend called in with flowers Mike was a pub landlord and I used to be a landlady and we got up to some of the things that happen in The Drop Inn. Mike wrote a note and stuck on me. WE LOVE HER TO BITS PLEASE SAVE HER TITS. I got ready for the op and when I came round Mr England thanked me for the note and said he agreed they were rather nice and hoped I approved. I was out of it and hadnt got a clue.
hi all, think my lol moment was when i was admitted to hospital low white cells also had chicken pox needless to say i was isolated , they had to take my bloods everyday for the count plus the chemo made all my veins in my right arm collaspse so then they could`nt get any blood they then proceded to get the blood from my feet (painfull) one day i had enough! young dr walked in i put the blankets over my head n turned my back on him...................i know, i know childish............hubby laughed his socks off said he`d never seen a chinese man go red i just left him standing there with the kidney dish wondering what to do ...........................they had to send for my chemo nurse to come n find a vein........................she did bless her i love chemo nurses they can always find a vein......................caroleann
we took my boyfriends young grandaughters out for the first time and I had to take them to the toilet, one of them, the boisterous one could not pull her pants up so I bent down to help she held on to my head and said your hair feels all stiff so I told here about the wig and she ran out of the toilets running towards here grandad shouting at the top of her voice grandad shes wearing a wig....( we are only in our forties it sounded really old reading it back)
OMG Greenpea I nearly wet myself laughing!! Just as well we can laugh cos seems to me this bloody journey we're on needs a few laughs instead of the tears!!
Love to you all,
Last night my husband's two friends came to visit us. As we were sitting there making polite conversation, I felt a big fart starting. I thought that if I could get out of the room before it fully developed, I might save myself and them some embarrassment. So, I got up to walk out and everytime I put my foot to the floor a fart came out!!!
I was saying excure me, excuse me everytime I walked. My husband didn't say a word but looked so shocked. His friends carried on as if nothing happened. I couldn't go into the room after that. I was mortified.
My husband said to his friends afterwards that it was because of the chemo and I wasn't like that all the time - (he wishes)!
My very first radiotherapy the computer broke down and there I am table up in the air naked to the waist waiting for the la to come back to life.
Radiotherapists were all lovely and very apologetic covered me up with a sheet and said if it didn't come on within (I think 8 mins) the technicians would be called in.
Needless to say it didn't come back on and three techs all trooped in with me still up in the air on the table. They couldn't sort the problem out so they had to manually crank the bed back down. It would have been easier to just let me get down onto a stool but no couldn't do this.
You can imagine this being the very first session I was very apprehensive turning up the next day. After that plain sailing.
Not that amusing I suppose but can't bring anything else to mind at moment.
Cathy & Lilacblushes
I knew there must be some funny stories to be told, it cant all be tears and tantrums.
Thanks for the giggle.
I think my lol moment was my beautiful gown I got for radiotherapy. Now, I know I have told the tale before, so hope it doesnt bore those who have heard it but I got this gown for radiotherapy which must be about a size xxxxlllll. I admit to not being terribly thin, but this was so big. The idea was that it was supposed to give me a bit of cover up during my rads, therefore protecting my fragile modesty. Any road up, this thing was so big that every time I stretched out on the table my boobs fell out the arm holes. Gave me and the radiotherapists many a good laugh. One day they forgot to zip me up and because it was so large, I couldn't tell as it felt normal. I came out of the room with my right boob completely out - went over to my poor husband waiting for me plus a room full of people and said, come on then. His eyes nearly popped out with embarrassment and he was speechless until a kind lady pointed out the problem. The other day another lady commented on how roomy my gown was. She had been given a teeny weeny one that was so tight it was digging in, so we swapped.
hahahaha - that is classic.
My lol moment I think must have been when they decided to re-tattoo me - major surgery, blood guts and snot I can deal with ... stick me with a tiny needle and I am not best pleased! There was I - in the arms akimbo boobs out rads position - I knew they were gonna do it but I thought she would warn me... nope - jabbed me without so much as a 'brace yourself betty' and I let out a yelp and jumped practically off the sodding bed thing! Then myself and the 2 radiologists started to giggle... one walked back up 'the corridor' with me and we became aware of all eyes turned to check out who/what/why the yelp... of course this just made us giggle even more.
There are alot of difficult things deal with and come to terms with on this journey we find ourselves on but there have been one or two "LOL moments" along the way and it would be nice to hear some of them. Here is mine
I had to be admitted after my 4th chemo [1st TAX] as bloods went through the floor and I was holed up in a side room for 6 days. It was an ex radiotherapy room so had the "corrider" set up so you couldn't see any signs of life, the only window was very narrow and at ceiling height so you could only see a slit of blue sky and the only company all day was this big grey tank in the corner with a nuclear sign on the front, very comforting.
Anyway first night in there at 2 in the morning I heard the helicopter come in and realised the ward was very close to the helipad. A few days later when I was beginning to go a bit stir crazy as I was not alllowed out of my little cell I heard the helicopter again so I decide to pull a chair over to the window, climb on it and see if I can see the helicopter and, yes you guessed it, in walks my consultant, his assistant [his bitch as my daughter called him!] and a nurse. Fantastic there I am looking like an excited 4 year old standing on a chair to see out of the window and all i can think to say is "oh hi I was just watching the helicopter", yes very cool Alison well done. They just looked at me as if I had gone mad and they weren't far off the mark!!
Feel free to share any daft moments, please, otherwise I will think I am the only one for whom there is no hope!!!!