To give ladies during treatment hope I thought I'd give a little post of my life 5 months after chemo.
During treatment some days it was a challenge to get to the bathroom myself and if I could, I considered it a good day. I thought life would never get back to normal, I thought I'd always look and feel ill and couldn't ever imagine being able to return to work, fitness, happiness. ..life!
I cried a lot for 6 months.
Anxiety and depression I thought would never leave me. Thought it was my 'new normal' !!
I felt guilty for putting my family through it, felt angry it happened to me at 37, felt scared I wouldn't survive.
AND NOW ............
Life is returning to normal. I'm happy, ive returned to the ditsy and silly person I was before. I love life. Doing stuff I enjoy doing every day ....because I'm happy I'm alive and because I can. I'm grateful for the treatment although I may not have been at the time! It's given me my life back. Life doesn't have to change for the worse .... I thought it would!
I'm running again, walking, seeing friends, loving family, on a phased return to work and appreciating life that bit more.
Treatment can at times be hard, it can make you feel the worst you may have ever felt ....... but it's worth it.
Accept help, use the support network you have, talk about your emotions, counselling, get in the fresh air when you feel able, don't think life can't be good again ...... we all have treatment so we can live again and not exist.
Don't give up no matter how bad you feel today. Remember the horrible times will pass, good can come again.
Light really is at the end of the tunnel.
LIFE is at the end of the tunnel xxx