Life after chemo

[Aine]

Yes carpe diem

[Emma111]

Really hope my post as helped. Wishing you both all the best. I know what you mean, Aine, by fear. Let's live in the moment, not dwell on the past or worry about the future but try to learn to love here and now xxx

[Aine]

Emma that is an emotionally strong and supportive description and I hope everyone reads it.

I am 5 weeks post chemo and I could have done with reading your post over the past winter.

If it is of any help to others I am starting to feel absolutely great - I have moments when I have a surge of hope and adrenalin and realise that yes there is an end to the nightmare that I have lived through over the past 6 months. 

It does become a conditioned mindset during chemo that it is always going to be this bad and that you are never ever going to feel other than very physically sick and old before your time.  I felt like this.  I couldnt remember not feeling nausea and pain.  I felt that my face was permanently depressed looking.

I still get waves of that feeling of fear that I am not going to ever recover - especially when I am surrounded by people who do not know anything about my illness.  Then I get a surge of happiness because I am back in the real world and doing normal things again.

So there is an end to the nightmare - dont forget that

A  

[Slowski]

Emma,

Thank you, an inspiring post and a good one to come back to on bad days. Very best wishes,

Slowski X

[Emma111]

To give ladies during treatment hope I thought I'd give a little post of my life 5 months after chemo.
During treatment some days it was a challenge to get to the bathroom myself and if I could, I considered it a good day.  I thought life would never get back to normal, I thought I'd always look and feel ill and couldn't ever imagine being able to return to work, fitness, happiness. ..life!

I cried a lot for 6 months.

Anxiety and depression I thought would never leave me. Thought it was my 'new normal' !!

I felt guilty for putting my family through it, felt angry it happened to me at 37, felt scared I wouldn't survive.

AND NOW ............

Life is returning to normal. I'm happy, ive returned to the ditsy and silly person I was before. I love life. Doing stuff I enjoy doing every day ....because I'm happy I'm alive and because I can. I'm grateful for the treatment although I may not have been at the time! It's given me my life back. Life doesn't have to change for the worse .... I thought it would!

I'm running again, walking, seeing friends, loving family, on a phased return to work and appreciating life that bit more.

Treatment can at times be hard, it can make you feel the worst you may have ever felt ....... but it's worth it.

Accept help, use the support network you have, talk about your emotions, counselling, get in the fresh air when you feel able, don't think life can't be good again  ...... we all have treatment so we can live again and not exist.

Don't give up no matter how bad you feel today. Remember the horrible times will pass, good can come again.

Keep believing.

Light really is at the end of the tunnel.

LIFE is at the end of the tunnel xxx