Dearest Sue and Simon,
Im so saddened for you both at reading today that Lisa had died. You have both been amazingly brave and positive during Lisa's illness. You were inspirational to me Sue when I was first diagnosed and we shared post op recon stories.It heartens me to know that Lisa was read many of our posts, and also that you are still both supported too.
Thank you for being so sharing at such a sad time in your life.
Love and blessings with you always,
that was beautiful I am now watering the garden(in floods of tears)
hope its not to raw Sue thinking of you and willing you through this dreadful time
dear sue and simon ,just wanted to send you hugs for what must be a very upsetting time ,i found after losing my sister and bro in law in march this year that the weeks after the funeral were the worst ,the loss is so great, and yes all the unanswered questions as to why and what ifs but rest assured you are both thought of daily by all the lovely people on here, do try to remember the good times you had together, as memories never die .and remember to take care of yoursef too .
god wanders round his garden
and looks at all his flowers
he looks after everyone of them
some of which are ours
he feeds them and nurtures them
every single bloom
then sometimes in a corner
he finds a little room
that wont do he tells himself
ill put something there instead
then gets down on his hands and knees
and makes a little bed
then he takes a look below
and examines everyface
and when he thinks a flower looks tired
he takes it to that place
rip lisa .xx
I just wanted to say that I have been thinking about you too as you and Simon have been trying to bear the unbearable. It is lovely that you are close and support each other: some families fall out with each other in the agony and rawness of bereavement. For Simon: I know two people around my age, mid 30s, who lost their partners tragically young about three years ago. Both went totally to pieces but after a long dark tunnel they are both gradually finding hope and strength again. There is an organisation called Widowed And Young (WAY) which one of them found very helpful xxxx
Dear Sue - Just wanted to let you know that you are very much in my thoughts, and I am sure that that is the same for everyone else here. As you wrote, the time leading up to Lisa's funeral was not doubt very busy indeed, and at that time you are still in some kind of shock. In some ways this time afterwards can be the hardest of all when you can feel left alone to struggle with your grief and sadness and the agony of your loss. I know that you are also waiting for the results of the PM and that must also be so hard. When you are able, please do write and let us know how you are. You have many, many friends here. With love to you, and to Simon.
Thanks debs...as soon as I get more responses will fix a date...if not, you can come on your own for a private guided tour! Not sure whether to combine the day with my local Crohn's support group in Plymouth...very dear to my heart, and wallet as have left my entire estate to the Primrose Unit at Derriford, and NACC...don't have any kids, and this way, the present govt or indeed any other, don't get a penny! Kinda makes me feel happy...having worked since I was 14 yrs old and never taken a penny from them. I'll send you a Pm with photos and stuff about this Fort....you will love it!
I have no words to offer you comfort. All I can do is tell you that I think about you everyday and wish you strength to help get you through your pain. From the sounds of things, Lisa touched so many lives and made a difference. She sounded like a wonderful, kind person who any mum would be proud to call her daughter.
No mother deserves your pain Sue.
Lots of love
Hi Sue and Simon.....
you are just the most amazing person Sue.... I have a friend in Tampa, Florida, just like you,proactive in finding best treatments,surgeries etc. but her situation a little different - her now 79 yr old husband was dx 7 yrs ago with stage IV lung cancer, had a lung and kidney removed and is still here, now with a tumour in his remaining lung. What their experiences have taught me, is never give up hope, and you certainly didn't.
I don't know if you have kept copies of your wonderful posts, and the responses, but perhaps in time, you could, and write an article for a cancer site, or the media, to show what you did for Lisa, and how the bc community came together in her and your fight? You are very articulate and don't dwell on the what if''s. It would be a valuable lesson to all those silly stories in the media of bc boob reductions/augmentations that the media love to write about. Your journey with Lisa's illness was a true love story, of how a loving mother cared for her beautiful daughter.
Hey, still hoping to hear from you about a week down here at the Fort Just had a booking for Nov 1st, but rest of the dates I gave you are free, as our guest.
I am trying to arrange a coffee morning here for bcc if I can get enough local support from bc patients ...have done a few with my neighbour for Soroptimists International of which she is a member; McMillan Coffee Mornings (her daughter died at 31 yrs of ovarian cancer, leaving 2 beautiful daughters of 3 and 4 yrs old) and the local Air Ambulance service which is wholly supported by volunteers. Methinks time to do some fund raising for breast cancer. Anyone in South East Cornwall or West Devon is welcome. I could be a fun day - we have a heated outdoor pool, tennis courts, private harbour, for those that think they can swim the English Channel, and I can use the Resident's Lounge....sometimes get 40 people for a fund raising, depending on how many second home owners are down. Those that are here will support us, but I do want to meet other bc ladies if possible. I can do picnic type stuff, scones, Cornish clotted cream, unusual appetisers, plus my famous cakes...we have a tombola, and my neighbour may donate one of her beautiful hand stitched quilts... she now teaches quilting in the local village of Kingsand. Think this may be a fun day out in a very unusual location. If it is low tide, we have a private beach for paddling, or surfing, for those that are energetic! Perhaps a contribution of Â£4 per person would be okay?.....then I will make cakes to sell, and the tombola, plus my neighbour's raffle for a quilt.
Please get back to me if you are interested so I can find a convenient date, perhaps Sept or October? The area here then is so beautiful, with the trees and hedgerows with wonderful autumnal colours. You may also see our fallow deer along the road into the Fort.....they have no road sense, so you need to go slowly!
Love to all,
Oh dear Sue and Simon
Not sure how you can stand this, but you will for Lisa's sake. I have been in tears for you all. Life can be so unfair. Lisa sounds like one of the best people ever, and she will be in so many memories.
Sending you both so much love and strength
Hi Sue and Simon
Not sure how you managed to post this, but thank you so much for letting us know how you both are and how things went on Thursday and Friday. I cannot imagine wot either of you are going through or how you are coping.
I think about you both everyday, and Lisa, and I mean this sincerely, not just saying it. Reading your posts on a regular basis and always hoping for good news, I feel like I know you all.
Sending you lots of love and hugs and wish there was really something more I could do to help you.
Lots of love
Hi Sue and Simon
at what we know is the worst of times for you, it is so incredible that you are able to keep us posted.
Just to say we are all thinking of you both.
I have followed your posts and I just wanted tor each out and give you a hug - but the internets not too great for that...I hope you and Simon can find some comfort in they days and months ahead. Life is just plain cruel sometimes....that somene so young should be taken so cruelly from her family,
lots of love to you
Have been reading your lovely posts .. thank you so much.
Can't write too much at the moment ... all so raw. We got through the two days somehow ... over 100 people at the crematorium chapel, which seated 85 so standing room only at the back... beautiful service but all so sad. So many people crying, we could hear them, for my lovely, brave, optimistic girl with the smiling face. Everyone saying how a light was extinguished when she died. Elderly people coming up who I didn't even know telling me how she helped them in one way or another, one elderly gent came up to me crying and telling me how she took him and his dog to find a vet when the dog was injured one day when Lisa was walking her dog. She wasn't well herself but had insisted he got into her car. He said that it was so unfair to take such a lovely young lady. We are hearing stories like this all the time. It seems she was even more wonderful than we thought although we knew that she often thought more about other people than herself.
We are still in shock that this happened so suddenly. Friday was worse really for us when we said a final farewell at the grave. Have been there everyday since. Trying to keep busy but getting hard now the merry-go-round has stopped. Got to do the horrid financial side this week with Simon and order a stone because it will be about 3 months before its ready. Just feel so numb and lost. Simon has had some really bad days and nights and says that Lisa was truly unique and his total soul mate and he doesn't know how he is going to cope without her.
As soon as I hear something from Post Mortem I will let you know. I so hope that they find something that can help others. Lisa was an usual case right from the beginning and that coupled with some unfortunate delays at the start and before the brain tumours were found possibly caused her early death. As I said before even the Drs were shocked at the suddenness of her death as they seemed to have got the cancer under control for a while. We keep going over events but we only end up in despair and it won't change a thing for my beautiful Lisa .. but hopefully one day it will help other young women.
Love to all of you and keep fighting and don't take no for an answer and make them speed up treatment.
I seemed to have written more than I thought I could.
Love Sue xx
Thinking of you today,it will be a hard day for you. How do you pick up the threads of your life? You will but it won't be easy. Take care of yourself I think it would be what Lisa wanted. Love Eileen
Sending you huge cyber hugs ((((((((((((((((((((o)))))))))))))))))))) and lots of love,
Thinking of you as ever,
Dear Sue and Simon,
I was thinking of you today and sincerely hope that all the love being sent your way helped to carry you through. You will be in my thoughts again tomorrow, as you will in so many others' too.
Sue as is everyone else my thoughts and love are with you and Simon on this very sad day. I have no words of wisom for you, just all the love and thoughts in the world.
My thoughts are with you, Simon and everyone who is grieving for Lisa. This is such a cruel disease. Good luck tomorrow.
I will be thinking of you, Simon and the rest of Lisa's friends and family like so many others today and tomorrow.
I am thinking of you and Simon today and tomorrow and all that loved and had the pleasure of knowing beautiful Lisa.
Love Paula xx
Along with everyone who contributes to this thread, I will be thinking of you and Simon tomorrow and Friday.
I know you and Simon will both be strong for each other and I do hope you have lots of support around you both. Lots of Love xxx
I think we will all be thinking of you and your family and friends during the next 2 days. I know you will have the strength to get through them but it will be afterwards that you will need extra support. I hope you still talk to us all on here so we can help you through the very difficult time ahead, even if it is to sound off about how unfair life can be.
Love Nicky x
I will be flying to Turkey tomorrow, and willl be thinking about you the whole day Sue. I will also find a quiet spot on the beach early in the morning on Friday and say a little prayer for you and Simon. Lisa has touched so many of us on here, we might not have known her but she really has touched all of our hearts.
Love Jules xx
Will be thinking of you tomorrow Sue. It can only be incredibly painful for you, but I hope that the great wave of love and care that will be there for you and Simon help to sustain you through the day. It should not have been this way, but no one and nothing can take away the bond that you and Lisa shared, and the years of love that nothing can change. With love and great sympathy. Sarah x
I will be travelling up north tomorrow and I will be thinking of Lisa as I watch the city drift away and the Highland views appear.
I understand what you mean about worrying about the time after the funeral is over - when you have nothing to focus on that's when it hits home the hardest. I am sure you will get through this - it will not be easy and you will never get over the loss of Lisa, but in time you will start to live with it.
No mother should ever have to stand at the grave of their child - sadly I have seen it happen too many times.
My thoughts are with you and yours.
you know we are all thinking of you and Simon our hearts will be with you.
Didnt get much time to take prof to task but he obviously had no idea avastin is cheaper abroad than here I had lots of things I wanted to say but no time.
Thank you all so much and for the poem Liz. I have read and re read your comments and I am really touched. What some lovely people you are. I will write more after the funeral tomorrow and the interment on Friday. Its when it all stops that I worry about.
At the moment i feel really strongly that i would like to be involved in fighting this damned disease in the future .. for all of you and in Lisa's memory. Not sure what yet but i am sure I will get inspiration.
Saw Debs on TV this morning .. what a shame they didn't give her longer. And for that silly man saying that if people are allowed to pay for something like Avastin then only the well off could have it. What in the hell does he think is happening now? a lot of people might be able to get the money for the drug but not for all their other treatment. Everyone in this country is entitled to NHS treatment otherwise what is it all about? In any case all these drugs should be funded however expensive .. if the NHS stopped wasting money it would make a big difference. I know people in the NHS and the waste of money is amazing.
Incidentally Avastin was working really well on Lisa's cancer .. reduced it right down so had this infection and complications not happened then i think she would have dealt with the cancer for some time. We were just asking for the summer with her but it wasn't to be.
Also on news just now it said that Dorset, where we are, has just announced the biggest record of fatal breast cancer patients ever.
I am having to keep really busy at the moment and I have to get through tomorrow which is going to be awful. Loads of people coming as usually happens with young people .. just hope I can take some of it in. The interment is private and only 5 of us will be there on Friday at the cemetery.
I really appreciate you all taking time to write to me.
Liz .. I will PM you ... what a lovely offer. Not had time to think about dates yet.
Sue, I am so sorry that Lisa has died. I cannot imagine your grief at losing your beloved daughter. I was unable to read your postings of Lisa in recent times as I have been feeling so sad and depressed but have managed in the last week to read all your recent postings and my heart goes out to you.
My father died almost three years ago of brain cancer and his deterioration was heartbreaking, it was so rapid, I read about Lisa's hallucinations with familiarity and it brought a lump to my throat. At the time I thought I would never lose the memory of what was to be my father's final two weeks but in time the painful recollections of the destruction cancer had caused to his brilliant mind were replaced by a lifetime of other memories of the man he was, the things that made me laugh and the things that made me cross. Whilst I know losing a daughter is not comparible in any way to losing a father, even one that died before his time, I just wanted to say that in time the pain of Lisa's final hours will be replaced by the jewel of the person she was to you and the happy times you cherished together.
Please do not think for a minute that I am saying that you will get over her death with time because I truly believe that you never get over losing someone you love as there will always be a hole in the shape of that person in your life. I just think other memories find their way to the surface eventually.
I hope I make sense.
Sorry so to hear of your sad loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you Simon. You are truly an amazing and courageous mother. Rest in peace Lisa.
Lyn - what beautiful, heartfelt words, which so articulate what we all feel for Sue and Lisa, but don't have your eloquence. I am Sue will be very touched by your post.
Oh Sue, I'm so very sorry to read the desperately sad news that Lisa died last week. I haven't been on the site for several days... I always read your updates about Lisa, though I didn't know you, I was always inspired and amazed at your articulate accounts, always in awe at the courage and common sense with which you all dealt with the unimaginable difficulty, stress and pain of her dx, treatments, the ups and all too often the downs... always so very glad that you had each other - your joy in each other, the warmth, openness and honesty that illuminated every piece you wrote... if ever a mother/daughter relationship could be used as a demonstration of love, it is yours. My heart goes out to you, and Simon, and to the funny, kind, sweet girl whose experience touched so many of us. Lisa will not be forgotten. Rest in peace.
Liz wot beautiful words/poems. Am gonna save them both, as so lovely and bought tears to my eyes.
Sue I hope that you and Simon are doing as well as you can this week.
Will be thinking of you on Thursday and am sending lots of love to you both.
Lots of love
Hi Sue, I don't know if this is appropriate, but thought I would post two eulogies/poems spoken at my twin brother's funeral - he too died of brain cancer, which his hospital in London said was mets from lung cancer, but they never found the primary. You might like to look at them and see if any Lisa's friends would like to use them.
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard him call
I turned my back and left it all
I could not stay another day
To laugh,to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found that place at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes, these things, I to, will miss
Be not burdened with the times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
My Life's been full, I savoured much
Good friends, good times, and loved one's touch.
Perhaps my life seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now, He set me free.
IF TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today.
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to sya.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dealry love.
But as I turned to walk away
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd thought
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left to do.
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad.
I thought of all the love we share,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for awhile
I'd say good-by and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,That this could never be.
For emptiness and memories
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldy thing
I might miss come tomorrow
I thought of you and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walke through Heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God look down and smiled at me
From his great golden throne
He said: "This is eternity
And all I've promised you
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow
But today will always last.
And since each day's the same way,
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithfull,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
You can edit them as you wish, as all the sentiments may not be appropriate for Lisa.
Thinking of you,
hugs and prayers.
lisa`s mum, never actually posted to you before but always checked to see how lisa was doing, 1st off i`m so very sad to hear of lisa passing away , i think thats any mothers nightmare that our children go before we do, and to say she suffered ! goes without saying ,thank god she had a loving family around her , again my condolences to you and yours, caroleann