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Living Alone

16 REPLIES 16
DizzyDee
Community Champion

Re: Living Alone

Hi Annette, Welcome:-)
Us ladies living alone shouldstick together. Know what u mean about the isolation! I've just had Day 3 of rads. Where do u live Annette?
woofwoof
Member

Re: Living Alone

Yes me too i live alone but luckily have very supportive friends and family, however when being told that i had bc i had an overwhelming feeling of isolation fear and lonliness it was soo horrible and unbearable, your right !!as soon as treatment and plans are put in place you start to feel better -- i have had a lumpectomy pathology report was all clear going for ct scan this thursday to get organised for 3 weeks of rads - hope you are ok look forward to hearing from you  Annettexxxx

 

DizzyDee
Community Champion

Re: Living Alone

Thats great June youname the day and look forward to welcoming you to London. Hope your having a good bank holiday xxx
catchpole
Member

Re: Living Alone

Hi Deee,

 

I should finish week after next.

 

I do sit my friends dog  some days, but can sort that. havent been to london for yonks, was always going once would love it again.  We will definitely sort something Dee, maybe July or August, Once i get rads out of way, i have to catch up, need eyes tested, for one thing, ny dental check up.  going to hospital ever day does kind of mean putting lots on hold,  Glad i live in the city, some on here seem to travel miles and if use hospital transport sit about for hours,, Ive a  bus from very near my house, that goes straight to hospital but my frend who i dog sit for works at my old company and they have been good as im an old employee about  her taking me sometimes too and evenings her or other friends come with me. it seems quicker in evenings. less people in hospital.  

 

Look forward to visiting the "smoke" trains from Norwich pretty good, take bout an hour and half. 

 

Junexx

 

 

DizzyDee
Community Champion

Re: Living Alone

I agree June right its a date. How about lunch so we can have a good old natter and then London is your oyster! If its a nice day we could do some touristy things. Have a think and get back to me. When do u finish rads? I'm end of June 22nd or 26th x
catchpole
Member

Re: Living Alone

Hi Dee,

 

Hahad like that, we have a similar thing here called the Big C. i have popped in on occasions, but there never seem to be manmy people in there, luckily ive gone with a friend who was accompanying me on my treatments.  I dont think Norfolk people are really into anything like that to be honest, they can be a bit withdrawn in many ways.  Case in point, my neighbour is a londoner and she popped into city last sat after Norwich beat Ipswich to get to Wembley for play offs, She said city centre was really quiet, it had been Tottenham, the team her family support, there would have been singing dancing etc., I said thats Norfolk for you, i sometimes feel like im an alien to,.lol

 

Im up for that Dee , what ever, pretty good train service between here and London.  must do it before summer out.  june x

shayle
Member

Re: Living Alone

Hi June,

Just read your story a few minutes ago.  I live alone with my little dog and enjoy the freedom of living alone.   I have tubular Breast Cancer, just recently diagnosed.  I am anxious to get it over with and move on.  I have nobody to talk to about this.  I am 70 so I have a lady fried that takes me to my appointments.  We talk and share ith each other and it makes the days go better.  I hope you can find some peace. Sheryll

DizzyDee
Community Champion

Re: Living Alone

Hi June,

I like your style and attitude. 60 is not old so you go girl. As for 'dating sites' tried one or two but not really for me.

I lost both of my parents quite some time ago so I think that adds to the loneliness when ur having a bad day. I think us ladies on here should organise a day out. Norwich or London. I'm up for it Jane when u feel ready. I've been asked to be involved with a new breast cancer group for women at the Royal Marsden in Chelsea. Up the road they have a centre called The Haven which offers complemtary massages, etc for BC ladies like us. Alternatively we could always go talent spotting in Chelsea, the men are rich there!!! Sending you a hug xx
catchpole
Member

Re: Living Alone

Dee,

 

Hi Dee,

 

Nice to know that someone else feels like me. I truly think you have to be on own with not a lot of fa,mily to know how it i.  I know im fortunate, many are completely alone and i have friends, but friends or not when you dont have that special someone in your life its hard. I was better when at work,as said i didnt want to retire, and i dont really want to get involved with other pensioners thank you.  I do have friends of my own age but they are as youthful as me. grey curly perm, sensible slacks pensioners no thanks.lol.and i think doing voluntary work most of people id meet would be pensioners,Not mad on unpaid work either thank you, tend to think organisations often use them as cheap labour a lot and keep putting more and more responsibilities on them, Not for me.

 

Have you ever lived with anyone, i havent, i have to admit im quite choosey when it comes to men, and most 60 plus men are not a great prospect! though many seem to reject older women, we tend to look better! Have you tried dating sites, again not a great prospect,, You live in London, is it easier there, guess being single at whatever age is better in a city,I live in Norwich as i said,i did live in a village for years and commuted to work but once my dad went into care i moved to city, even retired i never considered moving back.Norwich is a nice place to live,

June x

DizzyDee
Community Champion

Re: Living Alone

June

I really relate to you its so tough living alone with this. Really related to your comment that friends with you for hospital appointments but its tough going back to an empty house. I know exactly what u mean. I'm 44 and still work amd I do think that helps. Well all i can say is i'm here for you. Thanks for the post it really touched me to know someone feels like I do.

Thanks xxx
catchpole
Member

Re: Living Alone

No Dee,

 

I live in Norwich.  its june by way.my christian name.

 

Funny today i did go on a walk with an informal group i go with sometimes, just around the city, gets me out for couple hours meeting people, But i have to say since the C, although i was fortunate, just having lumpdecomy, and rads,iit has made me more down.  I dont care what people say and my oldest friend who ive known since schooldays who went through ovarian when i had breast, says she can t imagine having to do it without her husband and family and she admires me for coping so well on my own. Cause however friends come to \appointments  with you,  you come home to an empty house, and have to sit on own with your thoughts and you think god ive got to do this for rest of my life. A friend rang me few hours ago, the one i sit the dog for, she lives bout mile from me, but at weekends i never see her, how are you she demanded, o ok a bit down i said, But you went for that walk you go on this morning, i said yes i know, b ut thats once a month, im alone too much. I told her shes at work, she works where i did before reluctantly retiring, seeing people, im sitting round hers with her dog and lovely as he is, he isnt a human,  She started on about volunteeing her and my other friends are always on about that, but i dont want un paid work,paid would be nice,and dating websites, ive been on them, at over 60 you get nowhere.even 60 plus men want younger women. .  Does anyone really know what being on own so much is like. I didnt, i l lived with my dad and i was at work, that made a difference.  June

DizzyDee
Community Champion

Re: Living Alone

Right Catchpole,

Us living alone ladies should stick together i've never married no kids too. Sending you a massive hug we'll get through this together!! Xxx We'll all be there for each other. Do or any others here live in London?

Dee x
catchpole
Member

Re: Living Alone

Hi Dizzy Dee,

 

Like you im on my own, Im single never married no kids, no siblings, my lovely parents both dead  2 cousins,one lives 30 miles away one in Spain, neither have  been very helpful, hardly rang to see if ok even dont say much on facebook.  Friends have been much better, all my main appointments ive had someone with me, spent first night after op round ones and even some of my rads if they can have come with me.And even friends who dont live near have contracted regularly, much more than my family.  But it still pretty hard to be on own as you often are with your thoughts, My oldest friend from schooldays was diagnosed with ovarian cancer same time as i was with breast and she says she dosent know how shed have coped without her husband, and admires me for doing it on my own. She in spite of her own illness has been a great comfort to me too bless her Shes not had to have chemo either and seems like me to be getting on ok. 

 

I often find being partnerless difficult anyway, i wasnt used to living alone, i lived with my parents then my darling dad till he went into care, he didnt wantr me to be responsible for him, and hes sicne died. at 98.I still find it hard sometimes, someone in your life would be lovely worse when retired as i reluctantly am, work meant a great deal to me i wanted to stay on, my company had other ideas, I sit my friends dog, she still works at my old company, and hes lovely but still a special person in your life would be nice, and it would help im sure, also paying the bills on one income not so easy,  even with a small extra pension.  June

JoJo11
Member

Re: Living Alone

Hi Dizzydee,
I live alone too, there are quite a few of us on here. I was diagnosed the first time in 2007, had WLE and radiotherapy. Then in 2012 I had a recurrence, so mastectomy with immediate recon (LD flap, strattice and expander). I had the expander changed for a silicon implant in 2013, and then a reduction and lift on the good side. So I've had a variety of things, and I've now got atrial fibrillation to add to everything else. It's hard doing it alone, both practically and emotionally. But the support on here is great, so keep posting.
Hugs
Jojo

DizzyDee
Community Champion

Re: Living Alone

Thanks SARN. I had WLE in March. You keep your chin up girl too. I found that after surgery things got easier. I really hope your surgery goes well. I'll be 1/2 way through Rads by then. Do let me know how you get on. And ur r so right about whatever ur situation you do feel alone. Us ladies on here make us feel like we dont have to face this alone. Really appreciate u replying. Am at hospital today to find put results from CT and whole body bone scan. Fingers crossed xxx
SARN66
Member

Re: Living Alone

Hi dizzydee,

 

I am waiting for my op on 11/6, will then have Rads and then anit-hormone meds (havent been told name of med).  I do not live alone but I think most women with bc will agree that although you can be surrounded by family, colleagues and friends you can still feel alone.  I have found writing on the forum and speaking to people who have had bc to be most comforting.  Nobody else really knows what you are going through although they do their best to say the right things.  I hope you are able to keep busy and get out side for walks and fresh air, since diagnosis I have found this to be the best way to cope with my anxieties and fear.

 

Let me know how you get on with Rads.

 

Best wishes

 

 

Sandra

 

 

DizzyDee
Community Champion

Living Alone

Is there anyone on the forum who lives alone while facing BC? I was diagonsed Jan 15. Had surgery and just about to start Rads and tamoxifen. I'm on the end of treatment and it feels i can smile 🙂 Hardest bit was facing this alone. Would like to share with anyone facing this alone too to reassure them. Worst bit is first diagnosis and waiting for surgery.

My heart really does go out to ladies like me facing BC alone xxxx