I have just finished my 5 years of treatment, and the worst bit has been the scrambled brain......
However I do feel like me again, it's a different me but it IS me. All I can compare it to is a bereavement - it takes a long time, and I don't quite understand how it worked, but it does happen in time.
I think the key is to be kind to ourselves, and use all the support available whether it be family and friends, BCN s, medics, GPS, counselling etc and this forum.
It's hard work but it WILL come good.
I agree about the cubby hole for the consultation. Its hardly big enough for the family member, doctor and patient. I was diagnosed on May 13, 2015, and will have surgery on the 29th of May. After talking to the surgeon about the surgery and other things, I have decided that it isn't going to be that bad, except when I look at myself in the mirror. I am having a partial lumpotomy so it is surgery, but not a complete. The surgery is not gonna be as bad. I also have to have radiation treatment for 3-6 weeks 5 days a week. I'm not looking forward to that but it has to be done. Is anybody having radiation therapy?
There's a very good article by Dr Peter Harvey, " After The Treatment Finishes- Then What?" Just google it. Although it is aimed at people after treatment it is well worth reading now. It puts a great deal of things into perspective whether you are at the beginning or end of your treatment. x
It is a life changing moment when you are diagnosed and it's made even more surreal because the consultant's room that you are in is no bigger than a cupboard. So, there you have it - your life changes in a cupboard. Well, that's the way I felt when I was diagnosed in January.
Thank you so much for your replies..you all sound like very strong positive women. I think once Ive had surgery and am dealing with the reality rather than the what ifs Im still listing in my head I'll find it a lot easier. Funny enough I felt more positive this morning as it was so warm and sunny here and that always lifts the mood! I remember your tumour mayo sandwich at the garden centre Fuffs 🙂 I will certainly try the helpline. Someone elses perspective is always a good thing to have. thank you again ladies and keep being so strong....its inspiring!! xxxx
Yep, being diagnosed is one of those life changing moments. Even on a good day, week, month it will always be there, a thought somewhere in the back of your mind.
I have been here, done this before (surgery, rads and chemo) 22 years ago but it was always a thought on my head. Meeting new people at some point the topic could come up in conversation and I'd make the decision whether to include my history in the conversation. Plus getting dressed everyday and seeing my surgery scars made it something that was never forgotten.
But having just had a new primary cancer diagnosed I am, of course, stumbling through one day to the next never quite sure how I'll be feeling or knowing how I will want others to treat me. Some days or hours I just want to be treated as before... some days/hours I want people to acknowledge what I'm going through.
In time the inner turmoil quietens down. How long that takes is anyone's guess.
You are still you but a more worldly wise you having had a life changing upheaval.
I fel t same as you Janet, i have to admit, at first i was in denial, just wanted it out, and over with. I dont ,think you ever are quite the same person, but i have found it a bit disconserting now friends are treating me exactly the same as before i had it, not differently at all,one said you are better i said well yes i feel fine,ive still got to have rads and it could come back and it still kills people. Maybe cause now i know ive only got to have rads and didnt have to have chemo i sort of became me again they decided to treat me like me. My oldest and dearest friend was diagnosed with ovarian cancer same week as i was breast so we have been able to help each other through our journeys, She feels like me, people seem to be be treating her as her old self, but her and i both know we will never quite be.noone ever is.june
I was diagnosed mid Feb and was due to have surgery on the 30 March it but was cancelled last minute due to possible heart problem. I feel that I have focussed on this disease so much over the last few weeks, and will do for the foreseeable future that I no longer feel like 'me'. I feel like I am just someone with cancer. People say do stuff to distract myself but there is nothing that will distract me, its always there looming in my head. I've forgotten what it feels like to feel normal yet it wasn't that long ago that I was in ignorant bliss. Even around other people it feels like they are treating me slightly differently or is that just my imagination? Does anyone else feel like this? When do you start to feel like 'you' again?