Hi everyone. I posted a few days ago, after finding out the news that my mum has got lung mets, which have spread from her hip bone. I’m trying to stay as positive as I can, but its really started to affect me and im getting horrible pictures in my head, and visions of the future. I just dont know what i’ll do without her. I just hope I can eventually be happy.
I cant help but research on the internet, and so far its hasnt been fun to read anything. Everything I read about lung mets is really negative. She has it in one lung. Shes having radiotherapy at the moment but will be having other palliative treatments. I just need some indication of how long she will be here for. Some websites say a few months, some say a few years. Its horrible because i’m scared im gonna get more bad news anytime soon. I just dont know how to be positive about anything, shes my rolemodel, I cant cope without her
Hi Eddie11,
Sorry to hear about your Mum.I’ve got tumours in my right lung as well as in my lymphs,liver and spine.I’ve just finished my 6th Xeloda and it has worked wonders for me,as all my tumours have shrunk down.
Is your Mum on chemo too?
Some people can go on to live for many years with mets and looking at websites can be scary but they can’t give you a prognosis.
Try and be strong for your Mum and just be there for her.I was going to say be positive but I will get told off on here for saying that!
Take care,
Alli x
Hello Eddie, I think many of us here have children who have gone or are going through those feelings you have right now. The uncertainty is hard to live with but unfortunately no-one can really say how long someone will live with their secondaries. We all have such different responses to treatments. I was diagnosed with my mets in 2003 and I feel well but I’ve known women who were diagnosed after me who have died and others who have been living with cancer for many years. I wonder if you’ve been on this site? www (dot) advancedbc (dot) org …sorry I have to write it with (dots) as the Moderator might remove the link if I don’t. On that site you can access many chapters of a very good book, ‘‘Advanced Breast Cancer. A Guide to Living with Metastatic Disease’’ Here’s a little bit, printed below, I found on uncertainty…not sure if it will help but give yourself lots of time to adjust to this big shock you’ve had…and you will always find lots of support on this forum. Best Wishes.
Many doctors are reluctant to quote mortality rates or statistics on survival time to patients, preferring to tell them, rightly, that no one can know for sure how long a particular patient will live, and that mortality statistics are based on large groups, and are to be used to weigh decisions about treatment, not as predictors of individual life expectancy. They will explain that since you are an individual, there is simply no way to predict, with any certainty, whether you will be in the larger group that will succumb to breast cancer within the predicted period of time, or the smaller group that lives for many years with it as a chronic disease, or even survives to die of other causes. While initially frustrated, many patients are ultimately able to transform this uncertainty into an opportunity for hope.
Hi Belinda,
I’ve just looked at that advanced breast cancer site and found it very interesting.Thanks for that,because I didn’t even know about it!
Alli x
Eddie
So sorry to hear about your mum. As everyone else says, it is so unpredictable to say how bc progresses. I was told I would live for about 3 months in sept 06 but am still here but quite poorly now. Iwas diagnosed with lumg, liver, bones and lymph at that time and have gone from one chemo to another but have been well and usually better when having chemo than not. Last week, I went 2 eurodisney for 4 days and coped really well and today I’m out shopping so beong diagnosed with secondaries doesn’t alwaays mesn you can’t live a life where you can still do things but maybe you have to approach it differently.There’s lots of different chemos and I’m sure they will offer those to your mum and hopefully it will really shrink the tumours down.
It’s always very difficult when it is your mum as there is always that special relationship. Just take each day as it comjes and enjoy each day.Sorry for the waffle but my friend who was 31 died last night from bc so my thoughts are very much tied up there.
perhaps I shouldn’t have posted.
Keep in touch and I’m sure lots of people will help you with advice abd support.
Kate
Hi Eddie
I’m sorry to hear about your mum. I have Lung mets which were diagnosed nearly 2 1/2 years ago. I have had a pluural effusion in my left lung drained only partially successfully and my right lung is now also affected. I am on Taxol which is at the moment proving effective and I feel that I am leading a near normal life, well life in the "new " normal! My oncologist never seems to want to get drawn into a discussion about prognosis as he has always been very clear that it is all about how I respond to treatment and I am happy with that approach
Best Wishes for your mum
Kathryn
Hi Eddie,
I was diagnosed in June 07 with secondaries in Bone and lungs. I had Taxotere, which worked a treat and now am on Letrazole. No chemo at the mo but more than likely will need some more in the future. I have never asked for a prognonsis as the doctors dont really know, and rarely get it right it is not an exact science.
In my mind I am going to stick around as long as I can!!
I hope this helps and this site will be a great help to you and to your mum.
All the best
Fay :o)
