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MORAL DILEMMA

14 REPLIES 14
Seabreeze
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Hi Sunnyday,

 

Good on you for applying, sorry to hear you didn't get it but hasn't this told you something about how you would feel if another such opportunity comes up? That's still worth a lot!  

 

For next time - re the whether to tell a would be employer, usually if an employer offers they subsequently follow up with a medical declaration. That's the time to raise it along with providing the opportunity to flag low days off sick since etc. 

 

Next time! 

Seabreeze

lexilou3
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Big hugs Sunnyday
Your son is so wise... lustwn to him, take heart and keep looking, your job is out there x x
LL xx
sunnyday
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Thanks Bondgirl (Michelle), Herewego, Lexilou3 and Mary32 for your best wishes for the interview, and to Seabreeze and Kess for your comments.  I thought the interview seemed to go well, but unfortunately I didn't get the job!  Really upset to be honest as I'm sure I would have loved the job, and I wish I hadn't gone for it now as I feel more of a useless failure than I did before!  My 15 year old son was lovely though and told me it was their loss!  

 

Needn't have wasted time worrying about it, just got to be content with what you've got I guess - after all I'm a lot luckier than some!  I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment, but I'll soon bounce back - always do!

 

Best wishes to you all x   

Bondgirl
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Hi Sunnyday, have been following your post and just wanted to wish you lots of luck for your interview.  xx Michelle

Herewego
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

As far as I know interviewers cannot ask about your health and I wouldn't mentioned it in the first interview.

The employers will ask for references and attendance details (usually for max 3 years) from your current employer and in your case that will reveal nothing either.

 

If I'd be in your situation, I wouldn't even talk about it in subsequent interviews. The only way it would come up is upon offering you role they might ask you to fill in a health questionnaire as part of all the other paperwork but in that stage it shouldn't make any difference anyway as they want to hire you.

 

Having said all that as suggested you might want to clarify all this with the BCC helpline. Good luck with the interview! x

lexilou3
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Hi Sunnyday,

 

Great news re your interview and good luck for it. Might it be worth a quick call to the advice line re when / if to declare your diagnosis ?

Hope all goes well for you and you are successful & it is all you wish for,

 

LL xx

sunnyday
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Thanks everyone for your replies - I have an interview on Friday and am getting nervous already! Mary32 thanks for the information, and Seabreze thanks for the advice.  Lexilou3 i didn't declare it as a disability on  the application form as having read it carefully they seemed to be asking if it affected your ability to perform the role, and it doesn't (and hopefully never will).  I haven't had any time off work as a result of it since 2010 so hopefully that won't be a problem, however I now have another dilemma - do I mention my diagnosis at interview? My gut feeling is that I will have to admit it if a relevant question comes up but if not I won't say anything - I like to live in denial! What do you think?  I wish this wasn't something I had to take into consideration!. Best wishes to all x

Seabreeze
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Hi Sunnyday,
Hope the application goes well - I think you are doing the right thing, apply, see what the terms are, see how you feel - if you feel enthusiastic about the new job it may be just what you need? 

From what you say about your partner not liking talking about negative things perhaps you could approach the discussion on this basis if you are offered the job, how you feel and terms and conditions with any qualifying period. That would be a positive discussion from what you say about how this job may make you feel.
Seabreeze X

lexilou3
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Hi,
Good luck with your job application. BCis covered by disability i think, make sure you declare this. I recently stated a new role, it required sick leave for last 3 years,,, at over 200 it was soon justified by the diagnosis.
Thinking of you,
LLxx
mary32
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Hi Sunnyday

 

Good luck with your application!

 

If the job is with a local council school you would probably be eligible to join the local government pension scheme which pays out three times your salary for death in service. There would be a qualifying period before you could join I think but in the long term it would provide you with better protection than you have now.

 

Let us know how you get on.

 

Mary

 

 

sunnyday
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Herewego, Thanks for your reply.  I hadn't stopped to think that if I were offered the job this information would proabably be included in the paperwork.  I have decided to apply, and if I do get offered the job hopefully I will be supplied with the information to help me make an informed decision.  Wish me luck!  Sunnyday x 

sunnyday
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Kess,  Thanks for taking the time to reply.  Unfortunately my husband doesn't like me to talk negatively and so wouldn't really discuss this with me.  However I do agree with you that life is too short to spend it doing something you don't enjoy, but then I start to think am I being selfish.  I have decided that I will apply though. Wish me luck! Sunnyday x

Herewego
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

I would apply for the new job and see how I got on. If I would get as far as being offered the job the paperwork would include the benefits details including anything related to death in service so I could make up my mind about potentially accepting the new role with all the details.
So f for it and make up your mind up later with all the info x
Kess
Member

Re: MORAL DILEMMA

Have you tried talking to your husband about it? I think big decisions like this are best made jointly. It sounds like they would manage financially even if anything did happen to you - which hopefully it won't. Life is too short to spend all day doing something you really don't like...,
sunnyday
Member

MORAL DILEMMA

I was diagnosed about 5 1/2 years ago and am currently still on Tamoxifen - much to my dismay (but that's another story!).  I work full time as a Receptionist/Secretary but am quite unfulfilled in my role.  I feel I need something more challenging and I feel that my current role is dead end and that I have been put out to pasture!  I would like to apply for a job in a school, something that I have wanted to do for some time now, and I have seen a position advertised that sounds ideal for me.  However, and this is where I could do with advice or even just opinions, I don't have any life insurance - never took any out and would, I'm sure be really expensive now, but I do stand to get a death in service payment for my husband of twice my salary.  That's not a large sum but would pay off most of my mortgage (fortunately we only have a smallish mortgage).  I have stayed in this job and not seriously looked for another role for that reason only.  Should I stay where I am in order that if the worst should happen my husband (and son) would get some money, or should I be selfish and go for the position that appeals to me?  I realise that even if I apply I may not get the job, but is there any point in me applying or should I just stay put for peace of mind?  Also I realise that I may qualify for a death in service payment in this other job but there may be a qualifying period and I worry that I may not live long enough to qualify, in which case I would have been better off staying in my current role.  This is hardly something that I can bring up at interview so would have to wait to find out after commencing in the jobe.  I realise there are some ifs and buts here, but would like to hear some opinions please - think of my family, or of myself?  Thank you, Sunnyday x