Managing with small children

[Melia]

What sort of messenger queen bee. Are u in Facebook I'll private message you xx

[queenbee]

Yes let's be Melia. It's nice to go through things with others knowing they going through the same.... do you have messenger Melia? I could add you on that. I think I'm going to try cold capping and see how I get on with it x

[Melia]

I know your right mum of two I don't think people know what to do really to help. And don't think they like to just take over. Thanks ann I'll give them a call tomorrow. Queen bee lets be chemo buddies... I think we'll both need some support. Let me know when your starting and what your having. Are you cold capping too am sure I read you were going too xx

[ann-m]

Hi Melia,

As you've got little ones, it may also be an idea to contact your local Children's Centre. They can put you in touch with Homestart & will be aware of what's available locally.

Wishing you well with it all.

ann x

[queenbee]

It's hard because I've never needed any help normally as asking for help doesn't come natural! I think we've always been a couple of weeks between us Melia in everything it seems. I can't wait to start as it's a start of this nightmare nearly over! X

[Mumoftwo]

As Sue said, don't be afraid to ask for help.  When someone is diagnosed with cancer, those around them just don't know what to do to help even though they desperately want to do something, I'll bet your friends will be pleased if you ask them to help out - thats what friends are for!  Somethng else I learned was not to be afraid to tell people if you don't feel like seeing them. I had a few very low and emotional days and did have to say no to people when they asked if they could visit, I just wasn't up to it.  I hope you will get all the support you need from those around you. Michelle xx

[Sue C]

Ladies, don't be afraid to ask for help. Trust me......you're gonna need it!

You can always make up for it after xx

[Melia]

Yes I'm the same for asking for help I hate it... miss independent usually! Oh right I start on Monday 12th so you probably won't be far behind me. No doubt you'll see me on here moaning or asking for symptoms help haha xx

[queenbee]

Melia I hate having to ask for help even I know it's there with friends and family I don't want to take them for granted. I'm yet to start yet. My oncologist appointment is the 19th june so hopefully after that i will have 6 lots of chemo (not sure which one) and then 18 lots of herceptin x

[Melia]

How far are you in on your cycle queen bee? And what chemo are you having, I'm 6×fec xx

[Melia]

Thanks ladies mum of two I didn't know about that home start thing I think I will give McMillan a call and find out more. Queen bee my ex has also been brilliant with the kids and helping me out... Shame the grandparents can't do the same. Not even one offer of help! But as u say he works away so he's not available half the time. Sue that's what I'm scared of too picking up infections as theirs always one kid with a cough it cold!

Lots of friends havw offered to help but I'm not the best at asking for help as so used to doing it on my own. They do only offer to help with the 5 year old though, as my 1 year old is a real live wire and literally never stops! She exhausts me even when I'm feeling well. She's the one I could do with the most help with but she's the unwanted one bless her haha xx

[Sue C]

Hi melia

The hardest part of the chemo cycle is the first week. I didn't feel unwell, but the fatigue is quite challenging! So get any help available for that time. Hopefully the rest of the time you will feel fine. You're daughters party will be doable depending on where that fits in with the cycle. Just a note of caution..... the biggest worry during chemo is picking up an infection. So if there are any children with coughs and colds, make them stay away!

Hope all is manageable for you xx

[queenbee]

Hi Melia...hugs to you... I'm pretty much in the same boat... I rarely leave my children with anyone so I don't rely on anyone really. My step dad is poorly so can only manage my 4yr old whirlwind for a free hours... my ex's family are basically useless. My ex has been great though he's taken 6 weeks off work to look after them and me whilstni recover from my operation and has said he will take the day off when I start help and don't feel too well! I've tried to keep everything as normal and even booked my daughter's birthday party for mid July which now I'm thinking I'm not sure if I will be upto it.... xxx

[Mumoftwo]

Hi Melia, in my area we have a charity called Home Start which aims to help young families (I'm sure they are all over the country). They have helpers who visit you and generally give a bit of support be it with chores, watching the children etc. My mother in law used to do it and she became a surrogate granny for a couple of families!  Try asking MacMillan if they know of anywhere that offers the type of support you need. Take care. Michelle xx

[Melia]

Sorry probably not the place to post but I didn't know where else too!

How do people manage with kids and not loads of help. I have a 1 and 5 year old and I'm due to start chemo on Monday I know I'll be totally shattered and got total mam guilt about it! I've had my op 7 weeks ago but till get tired really easily and feel like I can't do as much as I used to with them. Is it normal to still feel exhausted after doing very little say going shopping and doing the housework!

My oldest came in with 2 party invitations today and it's really upset me as I feel I can't even say she can go as I don't know how I'll be from treatment, I am trying to keep their life as normal as possible but so hard when u can't plan anything.

Their dad works away and I only have one active grandparent who helps, which is my mam. I feel awful putting on her as shes in her sixties and can't do it all. Feeling totally stuck and fed up:( xx