Hi I have been lurking on here since my diagnosis 2 weeks ago. I have left mastectomy on Tuesday with a few lymph nodes out for testing I am terrified. Have dcis one side and a tumour other side so lumpectomy not possible found through screening I’m 51, no reconstruction at this stage. I think it’s more the unknown then waiting the long 2 weeks for histology results which is proving the most stressful. I have found this forum a godsend to hear others experiences. My husband also has advanced prostate cancer and just finished 4 weeks of radiotherapy we now have a nhs season ticket ! This horrible disease surrounds us but reading the help and advice from fellow fighters on here has helped so much. Any advice you can give me to get through the next few weeks would be very much appreciated-thank you x
Dawny
You are so right it is the awful waiting that we have initially to go through, waiting to find out if we have bc, waiting for the op, then waiting for the results post op, BUT the positive is that all this waiting is all about us being treated and getting through the other side of all of this, and whilst it does seem a long way off you will get there. I think the trick is to try and keep busy so that you are not dwelling on things
I can not believe that I am now 6 months post op and finished active treatment in January this year. I remember being upset because I wanted all my treatment done so that I could start 2017 having been treated, I have never been a patient person!! :).
Sorry to hear about your hubby’s diagnosis as well, that just add to the stress, but I am sure you are both being a great support to each other
Sending you both a hug and let us know how you get on
Helena xxx
Thank you Lady Bowler, yes trying to keep busy suspect the house will be cleaned like it’s never been cleaned before this weekend. Hearing others come out the other side and how well they are doing is the best encouragement xx
Hi Dawny, sorry to hear you find yourself here in our club. I’m 48 and was diagnosed with stage 2 advanced/invasive including local lymph nodes a month ago. The tumour was too big to operate and has diffuse edges and the lymph has to be cleared before surgery. I had my first chemo of 8 today and and am well enough to type this message to you now (forgive incoherent babble if my awareness of my abilities are flawed!). I an fully empathise with you in the nhs season ticket, though not all at once. In January I was in a car accident and could hardly move at first - I had three months of physiotherapy and time off work to treat whiplash neck injury. Then I found my breat was swelling at the end in March, went to my GP expecting it was tissue damage and mastitis from the seatbelt inertia and subsequent investigations reveal bc. My partner had cancer around 8 years ago and is now fully recovered. There are lights at the end of the tunnel but you can’t always see them. I choose to have faith in the medical profession and stay positive unless informed otherwise. This helps me to feel healthier ready for treatment. Initially, I went through high anxiety for a couple of weeks and became obsessed with reading statistics and medical info online and made myself feel ill. The positive outlook is best if you can control your thoughts. I find focussing on nutrition helps to distract the mind and seeking support and helping others on this forum.
Hope my story helps. Best wishes. Xx
Hi Dawny
I too have left mastectomy surgery booked for the 2nd May so will be thinking of you! I bought myself some new bedlinen to look forward to lying in when I return from hospital and also a V shaped cushion which I had read of a previous thread for comfort while recovering from my op.
I am 54 and my cancer was found in a routine mamogram, it was a shock but looking at the positve side of getting the cancer out and beating it!
Sending you a big hug and let me know how your surgery goes.
Hi Dawny
Sending best wishes for tomorrow. I am post left sided mastectomy 4 weeks. Main advise is listen to your body. I too thought the resting would be hard but found I could still do little things. If I overdid it at bed time I suffered more so you do learn.
Tracey
Morning ladies
Thank you for your best wishes means a lot.
Im home, sore, tired and a tad emotional but a big 
Part one is done !
Just attempted first set of exercises and ready for a doze.
Xxx
Hey Dawny. Welcome home. Take things slowly. Go with the flow of the emotions. I’ve genuinely cried more in the last two months than I have in my whole life. But it’s good to get it out. My husband has been amazing. If I cry he holds me, of I’m a cow he holds me. You’ve got lots of support on here to if you need it. Big ? hugs.
Hi dawny.
I’m in the same boat. Had op yesterday. Right boob off and all of the nodes taken out. Ouch.
I actually feel okay today. I keep trying to get up and do things and keep getting chased back to bed.
How are you doing with the exercises?
I’m finding them okay apart from the shoulder hunching which seems to pop my armpit. ?
Also have a small amount of clear fluid running from where my drain is inserted. Appointment with bcn in the morning for check up. How are you baring up?
Angela X
Thanks Heather.
Hope your chemo goes as well as possible. Xx
Thanks everyone and yes mai7 always happy to help if I can. Feel the fear I have still quite a bit of pain so you are doing so well I didn’t have all nodes out and surprisingly no drain !! I keep forgetting and keep trying to do stuff and then a few expletives come out ! Husband being v good even cooked roast dinner tonight ! Exercises not going too bad but I’ve been told to build them up over 4 days isn’t it funny how advice differs in different parts of the country, however as the lovely friends on here have said we know our own bodies so if we listen to them then I think that’s the best advice I’ve been given. It’s a good feeling though now active treatment has started and the start of fighting this has begun …but now sleep zzzzz xx
Hi again Heather.
To accept private messages I think you have to go to message preferences and click the box that says allow. I’m back on the boards now any way but maybe you’ll need to be able to use them at a later date. Thanks for getting in touch with me at the weekend. It was lovely to think someone I’d never met cared enough to message asking how I was.
It does sort of feel like we know those who were diagnosed at the same time and those who picked us up on here when we were trembling.
I stayed away last week as I was doing my wandering into threads that didn’t concern me again. Wiping myself out. I didn’t go for the ct scan. I’d asked for it. Surgeon didn’t think I needed it. It was going to happen on my birthday and I just thought, no way. Go out and have a nice time instead of being zapped with radiation. Most of the other aches and pains I’d convinced myself were spreads have disappeared.
Dawny, I wasn’t actually given any advice re: exercises. Just handed a booklet and told to do the exercises in it as soon as I’d had my op. ?
In fact all of the advice I’ve been given from how to control the fear monster and what to take into hospital, to what bras etc I’ll need, has all been given to me by the ladies on this forum. How lucky we are to have it. ? X
Dawny, You’re right about the v pillows. They’re fab. I’m doing great today. Drain is out so over the moon about that. Hubby is off work so we’ve just been for a pub lunch. ?
Haven’t needed any painkillers today YET. Not sure whether I’m just extremely lucky or whether it’s that my surgeon has done such a brilliant job, but I am feeling great. I’m taking it easy, but still worrying that maybe the real pain or problems may kick in next week. I hope not. ?Hope you’re feeling better today too. Xx
FeelTheFear, I’m so glad to hear all your aches and pains you thought were spreads have more or less gone. It sure shows how all this stuff messes with your mind!! I come on here every night at bedtime to be " virtually" surrounded by people who are either going through what I am now, or have been and are on their way through, to make the situation feel more normal and like I’m not alone in terms of how I’m feeling etc. My night time is your day as I’m in Australia.
Just this evening I was getting myself in a tizz because I’ve felt like my chest on the side of the bc was heavy and that breathing was a bit harder, and had begun to feel so over the last couple of days. My first consultant appointment is tomorrow so I’m not overly sure what I’m dealing with (other than mammo, US and FNA results). So naturally I’ve been worrying it’s because it’s spread to my lungs…then I had a sudden inspiration that if I stood up taller and put my shoulders back it might help release things better. I also remembered my partner suggesting the sore muscle feeling in my back might be from hunching over in a subconscious effort to protect my breast (I’d thought that was nonsense, of course, and he’d failed to tell me that’s exactly what he’d been observing me doing!). I tried it, stood up very straight, shoulders back, and wow did that improve my breathing, instantly. I should have remembered that from yoga. But these are strange and frequently terrifying times and the simple innocent explanation isn’t always the one we seem to go to when on high alert for more danger.
Just thought I’d mention that in case anyone else can relate and it may help them too!
Hi malsie.
Yes, the fear monster can really get a grip of us if we let it. A few days after my diagnosis I literally couldn’t stand up in the shower due to jelly legs. I was gripped with terror convinced I had cancer in my bones and liver. Common sense goes out of the window. I was also told before my biopsy results that I had highly suspicious areas, including in the lymph nodes. The radiographer held my hand and told me I was in the best place. ? The next nine days of waiting were hell. I’d basically written myself off and was actually relieved to get my diagnosis and a plan of action. This is a disease that most women recover from. We humans are very resilient creatures. Since I had the boob off on Tuesday I feel strangely powerful. My husband has taken a week off work to look after me. And to be honest, apart from not lifting things, I don’t really need looking after. So we’re going to spend the week getting out and about enjoying ourselves. Every cloud has a silver lining. ?.
When the fear grips you, remember, you’re not thinking straight. It’s practically impossible to with so much of the unknown hanging over you. It will get much much better. Xxx
Just read my post back and realised I said this is a disease most women recover from. ? I do realise there are men going through this as well. My uncle had breast cancer and I’m pleased to report he’s 15 years clear. X
Yes, I think we can all relate to that gripping fear part. My first night of having the diagnosis (because it basically is that, so it seems) I kept shaking uncontrollably. It was reading posts on here about all the tricks of the mind (like your jelly legs fears!) that made me stop and calm down enough to sleep. I did a lot of cognitive therapy years ago when I had bad anxiety so should be good at rationalising stuff out, but this stuff is so primal it can be tough to do that. Thanks for your thoughts and advice, and great idea to have a pleasant holiday type week with your hubby. Hope you heal up quickly post op xx
I must admit I never associate it with men, but obviously they must get it too, and I’m very pleased for your uncle, that’s great ? time for me to take a couple of Tylenol tabs we brought back from USA that I’ve found helpful for sleeping as they’re a mild painkiller with small amount of sedative in, listen to the excellent self healing advice of Deepak Chopra and get some sleep. Night night from Australia ? xx