Thanks for your reply. So good to hear you fit and healthy 5 years on. I think it probably is because the 'comfort blanket' of treatment has now ended giving me time to 'think'. Everything happened so fast, diagnosis, surgery then chemo and rads and I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I had spread to my lymph nodes but had full clearance anyway so have to draw a line under this as otherwise the cancer has won and I don't want that. I guess this is a transistion phase but I didn't expect to feel like this, I was so looking forward to it. Hopefully soon I too will be able to think and worry less about it. Thanks you have helped.
hi mel66 the worry you have is normal and I think all of us go over in our minds what if this and what if that so don't be too hard on yourself - I think after treatment has finished is the worst time for worry as going through treatment you are on the treatment treadmill and don't have time - after its over then it kicks in and little things niggle at you all the time. I had Mastectomy before chemo and rads and I had all my lymph nodes taken out - my tumour was 9cm (they didn't find this out until after surgery) and they said if they had known they would have given me chemo first to reduce the tumour - with hindsight they would have given me a MRI scan - but they didn't so that was that. However surgery got rid of my tumour and I got clear margins and that is what is important - that left the chemo and rads to zap anything else left 'roaming around' my system. The good news is that was over 5 years ago and fingers crossed I am fine, fit and healthy. Although I do still 'worry' about stuff its not the first thing I think of when I wake up or go to bed and I have managed to put it in perspective and live my life. It will take you time to get there but one day at a time, be kind to yourself you have been through a lot. hugs xxxx
Thanks very much for your reply. It helps 🙂 I really must give myself a good talking too and get myself and my worries back under control! 😮
Hello, I have just finished all my treatments last week and now when I should be putting it all behind me I am finding that I am getting myself worried and anxious again. The reason for this is I had my mastectomy first followed by chemo and rads but most others on this forum seem to have had chemo first? The plan was originally for me to do that and then it changed as surgeon had a spare slot for surgery and I was getting stressed out so 3 days later I had surgery. I am probably being silly but have others had surgery first? I also had lymph nodes affected which were cleared out at time of operation. I know I have to trust that the team made right choices but would help me to know others had it this way round too. I just want to move on and stop worrying! 😮 Will that time ever happen?? I seem to be over analyizing everything! 😮