sounds like you are in a very dark place. I am unemployed as well, have been since Nov. I even went on a couple of interviews after I found out. Denial I suppose.
Having a lot of time to think is not always a good thing. You get so stuck in your own head.
I don't like to share these thoughts with my partner, but I find a rant on here helps. For me if feels like the light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
you cam PM me anytime you want to vent .
I'm due to have a mastectomy in mid-May, following two lumpectomys which didn't get clear margins and following chemotherapy due to finish on the 8th of April.
As I'm coming to the end of my chemo and facing the next hurdle of further surgery, I'm really frightened.
I'm 46 years old, engaged to a very supportive man, no children, and currently unemployed due to being made redundant a week before I found the lump in my breast.
I feel frustrated, depressed, worried, and completely terrified about how I'm going to feel psycologically post surgery.
I've always been able to fix everything in my life by sheer power of will, but I can't fix this or make it better. I feel completely lost and scared.