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Me Too!!

17 REPLIES 17
amdacc
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Wow what a difference. Should have quite a bit of fun going round the contry in that. Much better when you can make it the way you want it inside too. At least you had something to keep you busy for the last wee while.

amdacc
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Sounds like you need the weekend to recover. Thats always the way with IT... nothing is ever needed tomorrow, its always today!! A couple of glasses of wine and a relaxing weekend sound like just the thing.

I never even thought of building a campervan. Sounds like it would have been quite fun. Pitty you cant post pictures on here 🙂

Yeah I have seen firefly... I thought it was pretty good. I will be square eyes soon enough. Oh my hair has started to fall out. Not really looking forward to what I will look like... I have this image of an alien with my eyes hehe. Oh well its a new look.

Hope your weekends good... Chemo next week to look forward to yay!!

vertangie
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Well I have had a hectic week. A website I hsould have been working on since Nov suddenly became needed NOW so it was suggested that maybe I should hand it over... bu**er that thought I when it's this close (spent ages planning, I do that, the men don't always get why I think 😉 but anyway pulled a few 10 hour days and did it, deployed, live and propogated... made me feel great, until today, you know that slimy string seaweed you find all dried up an crunchy on the beach after 3 days in the sun that stinks... well that's pretty much how I feel. Too much too soon I think.

But yeah we did build the insides of a campervan. OH and I have strong ideas about what we want and when we agree but no one makes it we just build things instead... it's very liberating.

I do like my box sets. If you like sci fi and haven't seen it check out firefly.

Have a superb weekend whatever you get up to... I will not be be doing too much work.

amdacc
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Angie

Yeah I reading like its going out of fashion plus watching loads of TV box sets. anything to keep me amused for a while.
Should make the effort and study for some MS exams but I hate to study....

You built a campervan???

Angela

vertangie
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Feb's still winter. I say the new year starts in spring personally anyway 🙂

I've been doing lots and lots of reading since my DX to keep the old brain cells ticking over. And I've got 3 bottles of coQ10 vitamins which I will be starting on 4 weeks after my last chemo to the minute (It's a brain helping vitamin). Some people on here have been playing that brain game gadget (it's advertised on TV and I can't remember the name as I am pathologically immune to tv ads, brains just switch off the second they come on).

But my local library has become a new best mate, so many books its great.

me and OH also went and built a camperven jsut before chemo. It's the escape mobile 🙂

amdacc
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Angie

Unfortunatly the co im working for are at the mo getting ready to start a few very big projects that i was ment to be a lead on one of them. Because of this they have taken me off the project. My boss wants me to go and get better so at the mo there is nothing allocated to me. I think my boss thinks I have enough to deal with. I even offered to do the SQL reporting just to keep me busy but he hasnt taken me up on it. Never mind. I will just have to find other things to keep me amused!!

My chemo goes on till Feb, but yeah lets hope 2009 is a better year.

vertangie
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Ok this is getting strange... I'm a perl girl myself, but so long as it's an object oriented language I'll have a go so have done a little java and some php (cough, hate the stuff). I do content management and websites for democracy.

I've been coding like mad for the last week.

I have seriously found getting on with some nice productive code so much better for my mental health than thinking about the chemo and DX etc.

Are there any little projects you could do from home? I'm rather lucky that I'm also a sys admin so I already have a complete replica of all my server setups so I just boot the computers in the spare room and off we go. All the guys I work with work from home too.

It's rare enough coming across another female programmer let alone one with the same name and BC (hopefullly neither of us will have the BC at the end of the year eh;)

amdacc
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hi Angie

No way... yout not a developer!! Thats what I do for a living. Im a dot net developer. This is getting very weird!!

Yeah Im nearly on week 3, and Im feeling fine at the mo. Doing a lot better than I expected to. My moods seem to go between being ok and being a bit down, I havent really been too angry or anything. I think Im going stir crazy being stuck in the house with not much to do. Doesnt help with the mood much does it.

I guess adoption is always a consideration, I know I could give a home to someone, but I always thought I would have one of my own. Never mind, I dont know If I could have had one even without the chemo being a factor. Anyway, thats something to worry about in a couple of years time now.

Angela

vertangie
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hi Angela

Well I have some possible good news for you then because they were my symptoms the first 2 weeks too. Third week was better and all 4 doses have been identical for me, just getting tireder and rattier 😉

My work have been most excellent, they have been paying me part time all the way through and because I'm actually a contracter rather than a perm employee they had no obligation too. It's a charity I work for so none of us know how long we'll be going but they've really stood be me and been patient. I also run a business with my OH doing web development so can pick up on work when the chemos done so I should be OK long term even if it hurts the pursestrings a bit right now. Hey who isn't suffering financially right now?

I never even cashed in my wig voucher. I feel that I'd be wearing it so other people don't have to deal with my appearance... least they can I say. so I'm wearing these buff things. got 5 of them for different moods 🙂

My moods have been swinging a lot this week, not true they've been ebbing in a very self pitying woa is me kind of way but it is week 3 coming up (which I guess it is for you too) and this is when the immune system starts to recover and if you look in the mirror at the end of the week you might just catch a glimpse of a former self ready to come back fighting.... in time 🙂

Honestly coming up to my fifth dose and while I'm seriously bored of it now it's gone a lot faster than I thought and I'm generally still holding together so I hope you get off as lightly too (don't bother with the woa is me bit though, it's not much fun 😉

Angie

PS you can always adopt, we'd always planned to do that if we felt we wanted kids later in life.

amdacc
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hi Sukes

I wish I had had my kids, but I suppose that just throws another level of complexity to things. You cant win!! Glad you are at the end of the chemo... So far I have found Ice cream and Ice lollys are great for the mouth. I have been stocking up. I dont need to put any weight on though... Im heavy enough as it is hehe.

Take care

Angela

amdacc
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hi Angie

God thats a coincidence!! How have your work been? Did you get the time off ok and are they paying you? I have the time off, my boss has been really good that way, Im still waiting to hear what happens about wages. My contract says I get a max of 8 weeks. Its going to be a royal pain in the A*se if they dont, not that I can expect them to after such a short time.

I have bought 3 headscarfs that are quite bright, but I can see be just going bald and not covering it. I will probably get anoyed with stuff on my head. I have a wig which looks pretty good so I supose for the weddings I have been invited to I will probably wear it then.

I knwo the feelign about the drink... I felt like having a lot!! in fact one of my friedns took me out to have a session before the chemo started. Hangover hell!!

Well thats me 2 weeks into my first chemo session and so far it hasnt been too bad, I have been tired and had really bad heartburn. That along with the horrible mouth is it so far... My hair is holding tight at the mo.

Hope things are going well for you

Take care

Angela

vertangie
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Ok now you're freaking me Angela. I started a new job 8 weeks before I was diagnosed too and also her negative (triple neg in fact).

As for life is coming down round ears. I can certainly empathise with that, not much I can say other than we get to pick the pieces up later at least, not much consolation right now I know. I got myself a silly buff headwear with a hippy cow on it which manages to make me smile when I look in the mirror (just avoid looking at my face LOL).

It's still really early days for you too. I was diagnosed back in Jan and 3 months in I was shall we say drinking rather a lot of red wine and angry at everything. It's only now that I'm starting to relax a bit. It's huge jolt to the system which takes a lot out of you and that's before you start the treatment so be lovely to yourself, and patient (says she who really doesn't know the meaning of the word).

Lots of love

Angie

sukes
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hi Angela,

sorry you've had to join the site but you will a lot of support here.

I was dx dec 07 aged 34. fortunately i have had my children but the whole thought of bc is frightening. to give you a bit of encouragement chemo is shit but doable. I have had 3 epi, 3 tax and 3 cmf and had my last does this tuesday just gone.

There is always so much to get your head around but you do eventually.

I found chocolate was good for taste as thats all i could taste and pineapple helped withthe sore mouth - it just hasn't done my weight any good though - put on a stone since starting chemo. my eyebrows have sort of come back and my eyelashes are also starting to come back now. just think of all the trendy hats and scarfs you can wear to dress your head up or even frighten delivery men with your bald head - hee hee.

Try not to worry and don't forget it is doable - 7 months of chemo sounded so long back in jan but now its august and i;v've done it and so can you.

take care
Sukes

amdacc
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hi Karen, Angie and Debs

Thanks so much for reading. It feels like my life is coming down round my ears. There seems to be no one at the hospital in my age group so its good to hear from others in the same boat. Im focusing on Feb when the chemo should be over. They havent told me as yet if there will be any more treatments but my cancer is HR negative so as far as im aware the only other thing they can give me is radiotherapy.

I only started a new job 8 weeks before all of this started... talk about good timing!!

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks.

I hope everything is going well with all of you and that you are on the road to recovery.

Angela

debsincornwall
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hi Angela,
sorry you are having to deal with this horrid disease. I had FEC in 2004 the E being epirubicin I found drinking water very slowly with lots of ice cubes in worked for me. I did not get thrush or mouth ulcers So maybe give it a go. It is a very difficult time so listen to your body get plenty of rest. You will get lots of help from other members I am one of the old ones so I should not be on this thread I think bc has turned me into a snoop!
It is an emotional roller coaster good luck hope the ice cubes help.

Love Debsxxx

vertangie
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hi Angela

Another Angie here too.

I started chemo back at the start of june and felt a lot like you did. I wasn't that upset cutting my long hair short but I know what you mean about feeling like a boy. I'm now completely flat chested as I had a bilateral mastectomy back in feb and am only just getting used to it.

I've made myself a deal, which is to just get through this and then I will make myself feel well again and spoil myself at the end. I've kind of resigned myself to looking and feeling cr@p until the chemo's over. But it shuld be worth it, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and hopefully for most of us that will be a long time. I figure as at 33 there's a good chance I would live to my 90's and as such every single one of my 6 rounds of chemo could give me a whole decade. It may seem an odd way to look at it but 3 weeks hell for a decade of healthy happy life is a card I'll play.

but wow it's intense isn't it. I'm only just starting to get to grips with the emotional impact and it's been nearly 7 months since I was diagnosed, this is not a short ride is it. But you've started the chemo, I think you're probably at one of the low points right now. The dry mouth is the pits isn't it. Ice lollies seem to help when you have the chemo (cold cap for the mouth kinda logic).

I also had weird biopsies, as in one came back clear but they suspected something was wrong and did it again, this was on a lump on my left breast. I'd already found a lump on my right breast which was cancerous so that was a hell of a fortnight. The hardest conversation I ever had with my Mum to say the least.

take it easy... this too shall pass.

Lots of love

Angie

Guardianangel
Member

Re: Me Too!!

Hello angela,

I'm so sorry you that you have joined us. I was DX in Dec age 35.

I have had a mastectomy, lymphynodes under the arm and in the chest were also infected and removed, followed by 6 doses of chemo - 3 FEC and 3 Doc - am also on Herceptin and have now started rads.

I also had had long dark hair, which i lost including my eyebrows and eyelashes, but you get use to and so does everyone around you - and remember, at least our hair will grow back - mine is now starting too.

This site is wonderful for support and we are all in the same situation so there is no need to keep it in - share with us and lessen your burden, it's too heavy.

Goodluck and if you want any help, tips, just ask.

love,
Karen

amdacc
Member

Me Too!!

Hi

Ok so Im another member of the BC club. I found a lump in May and was sent straignt to the hospital. I was given a mamogram, Ultrasound, fine neadle and a byopsy. The biopsy came back clear so they did another one that also came back clear. My surgeon decided to remove the lump anyway and found cancer once the lump was removed so had to go back in for a mastectomy and lymph node clearence. They then found that there was cancer in the lymph nodes too.

Im 34 and was just settling down and considering having a family... looks like thats gonna have to wait a couple of years now!

I went through the embrio freezing but it wasnt very sucessful they only managed to get 2.

I started my chemo 5 August Im on the tact2 arm 3 so i get Eprirubicin and then Xeloda. I really worked that up and landed up having a cry right before the chemo started siting on the ward and looking like a right dafty. So far I have a really dry mouth that tastes rotten and Im tired. I havent had any other side effects yet. I had my very long hair (half way down my back) choped to about 1" long which was just horrible... I feel like a boy at the mo. and Im just waiting for it to fall out.

Im sure there are loads of others on here in the same boat but I just wanted to put it in words as I tend not to talk to people about whats going on. I have a habbit of keeping all my feelings to myself.

Thanks for reading!

Angela